Archive for the ‘Minibeanism’ Category

Christmas 2011: The days before

December 27th, 2011 by Scarlett Ting

I lit a candle that offered some kind of soothing comfort in the absolute darkness, as I stood in the kitchen in my full naked glory (or the lack-thereof), and enjoyed the year-end breeze caressing me.

Love the chills December brings. I love it cold and cosy.

I adore quiet solitude like this, and somehow, I manage to find my peace this Christmas during negligible, private moments like this.

***

I am not sure when I have started to dread my favourite holiday, and maybe it is a sign of eroded youth when the buzz and crowds become something to be fearful of.

When shopping for gifts becomes an impossible tasks because everyone seems to be lacking only the more extravagant stuff, and little things I come across might just not be practical enough.

Resolutions have also became redundant because living for the moment should be the way to go.

But I am thankful, as the buzz wears off with majority of the people are resting for the work day ahead with the conclusion of boxing day, I have the liberty of time to jot down the peace I have found over this Christmas.

Merry Christmas everyone, however late this may be, I wish everyone plenty of peace, joy, happiness, blessings and good health.

And yes, from both of us, the precious mite turned 5 earlier this month, and with each baby phase outgrown (including night pee-time; with the exception of her baby-pillow phase), I have to concede that hereonforth, a milestone is crossed and she will be in primary school in a year’s time.

Cons of being a year-end baby, where she will always be a year short-changed when it comes to such.

She’s a young lady now :)

***

How was your Christmas? The rainy season got me hiding at home most of the time, feeling absolutely contended with a good read, and mentally-tortured myself with some drama marathon, the past week was rewarding in its little way, and I am thankful for it.

Countdown to Christmas: 4 days

It was a simple start to the day, lunch with newfound friend before her New York trip, and trying to scoot around Ion for some last minute Christmas shopping.

Disappointing. Nothing caught my eyes and the crowd was too much for me to bear.

Some drama ensued at home, with the little one showing me how challenging motherhood certainly is. Well, that is after she had shown my mum in contrast what an angel I was as compared to her. Hurhurhur.

I wanted to return to office, but decided that a “good talk” has topped the priority of the day and made a detour home.

Minibean was well-prepared with her art of distraction, and plenty of creative excuses, and it exasperated me BIG TIME.

I started to question myself if I had failed terribly as a mum, and the constant naggings (yes, I set out to be a cool mum but I have my limits too, ahem) were well, just.. uncool to her.

In an attempt to get her way, she had lied to my mum to say someone had said something to her to ask her to disobey my mum. With the life-long tension between my mum and I, that was perhaps not the wisest thing to do, but yes, she is a child, so she probably didn’t really think about that.

So I tried to clear the air with mum, and I questioned Minibean, who insisted she was telling the truth. Minibean has been telling small lies this year in a bid to get her way, often things like telling my mum I had allowed her to eat the ice-cream or that my dad had granted permission to her to chocolates… so I know from her tone she was lying, but I can’t be unfair to her and call her bluff right?

I told her I will verify with everyone and when I did, I call my mum back. Minibean answered the phone everytime, and whenever she heard my voice, she hung up.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes. It shows how afraid she is of me. But it also shows how clever is she. It also shows the audacity she has. Tsk, I am not sure to laugh or cry.

She was called into the room and then I just asked her why did she lie. “I don’t remember” and “I am tired, I don’t want to talk” with the I-don’t-give-a-damn rolled-eyes and tone were the constant answers she gave me.

Or, running to my mum and give me defiant what-can-you-do-to-me-cos-popo-protecting me victorious look.

Yes. My 5 year-old precious baby is giving me teenage problems prematurely!!!

So I disowned her.

Okay, fine, not literally, but yah, this shows how baaaaaaaaaaaaaaad a mother I truly am. *guilt-ridden*

I asked her if she knows what she did wrong. She knew. This lecture took place once too many times, so this time, I just felt really bad cos I know it affected my mum quite a bit, but at the same time, I am wondering if our reluctance to shower her with lavish extravagance has made her feel that we don’t love her as much as we should.

I told her if she would prefer to be elsewhere, because we don’t buy her everything she wants (she shouldn’t be spoilt, I insist.) and our constant discipline to teach her is too much for her cos she can get away with everything elsewhere, then feel free, leave.

Mummy loves you every much, but I really don’t know what to do if you are unhappy here. If you want, go. Is Mummy too fierce? Is Mummy telling you the right way to behave too much for you? Is Mummy the boring one? Is Mummy not letting you eat chocolate when you are sick making you buey song?

Honestly, I don’t want to be the bad cop alllllllll the time, but disciplining her and teaching her is my responsibility, isn’t it? If she misbehaves, someone has to tell her she is wrong, and when I point it out, what use is there if there is always someone saying “She is just a child..” and she KNOWS she can get away with it?

I didn’t scold her in this session, I just merely spoke to her, told her about consequences, and then I asked her questions and I ended up crying, because I really don’t know what to do if she really doesn’t care.

Yes. I cried in front of her. Despite how I am such a mushy marshmellow on this space of mine, the number of times I had broken down in front of her in these 5 years could be counted on one hand so it is bloody rare okay!

And it was the first time I cried in front of her, because of her.

She broke my heart when she started crying when she saw me crying at the corner of my bed.

“Mummy, you are not angry? You are just very sad?”

She ran towards me (yes, she is also a little drama queen there, gosh, the genes) and threw her arms around me and hugged me really tight. I was exasperated and tired so I didn’t hug her back (told you I am a bad mum), but I did tell her I love her very much and I will always love her, but I am just very sad cos I don’t know what to do.

She then tried to kiss my tears away as she cried and kept saying sorry and she loves me.

I FEEL SUPERBLY BAD LAH. HOW NOT TO FEEL BAD YOU TELL ME?!

Okay, so that was the abrupt end to the tiny episode andthenwecuddleandmanjaeachother.

Surprisingly, I actually feel that there is a change in her, and I of course, feel bad and feel a need to remedy my meanness.

***

Countdown to Christmas: 3 days

This was the day when Minibean and my parents left for Genting, and I was left home alone.

It was pouring and the weather directed me to stay in bed, and go no where. Which is an absolute wise choice, cos I heard of the “ponding” in town and I was not about to kill my car.

What better way to celebrate the solitude with an obscene dose of mental-torment and plentiful of mindfucking?

I remember couple of months back, I was watching something on youtube/tudou, and someone asked me with a look of sheer contempt, “Why are you watching Taiwanese drama?!“.

I replied hesistantly, “Uhm, it is not Taiwanese drama….”

“Then where is it from? It’s in mandarin right?”

I bowed my head really low and in almost a whisper, “It is uhm.. well, China Chinese drama…”

The look of absolute disgust registered of his face was priceless.

2 months ago, I watched my childhood idol Nicky Wu:

I felt an incredible sense of shame that I received such judgment for watching cheenah drama that I didn’t dare to mention it to other friends from then on.

Then….. 3 days before Christmas, I saw another cheenah drama starring my childhood (okay, not so childhood, but I always find that he is SOOO my type, and is absolutely hot in my opinion in my teenage years) crush, Hawick Lau from Hong Kong.

The one on the left in front, not on the the right, ok.

He used to be so boyish, but now he is just.. HOT. Anyway, I started watching the show, and I sat through all 28 episodes of it in one go, fast-forwarding the scenes without him, obviously.

My goodness, both shows are out to inflict mental trauma, I swear. After watching both shows, I have disturbing dreams because both shows are just out to mindfuck people beyond belief and then make you want to smash your screens or scream out all the frustrations.

WHY LIKE THATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT?!

Worst, the male leads make me super dreamy, and I realise I like men with power who want to dominate me HAHAHAHA. And I switch my taste from early-twenties boys to men around 40. Ahem.

Poison very deep, I tell you.

H.e.a.r.t.b.r.e.a.k.i.n.g.

I swear off chinese drama from now on, because it will kill me with the grief it brings. It either will burst a vessel in my frail heart, or short-circuit a nerve in my fragile mind. Nah-uh, no good.

Thinking of the storylines for both shows still make me wanna tear my hair out in utter exasperation. Grr…..

I was saying on twitter that to torture my worst enemy, I should just tie him to a chair and make him sit through Bubujingxin to the end and immediately air Qianshanmuxue and see the mental trauma he is going through.

But because I love many of you out there, I also have to reinstate how good both shows are, especially with brilliant acting from Nicky Wu and Hawick Lau (I am NOT bias), so please catch them so that no one will throw me looks of disgust and I will feel somewhat “normal”.

You all… don’t judge me…. right?

***

Countdown to Christmas: 2 days

Yet another day of rain and gloom, just like the way I love it.

Headed to the airport in the early morning and was surprised by the smooth traffic but the heat gave rise to a massive migraine that was mightily stubborn.

GIVE ME MY COLD WINTERRRRRRRRR!

Took a nap and woke up to a rainy evening.

A rude shock awaits…………

Okie. Couple of weeks back, on 12th December, my dad thought it was a good idea for Minibean to be a pet owner.

I do not understand what made him think so, but before I know it, I saw these 2 canaries in my living room one day when I returned from work, and since then, the living room was home to them and the cage that housed them.

I saw the birds when I returned from the airport. I saw that they had food and water, so I didn’t even open the cage, and I went to sleep my migraine away.

I woke up in the evening, got changed and was ready to head out for my dinner appointment, but decided to grab a drink in the kitchen.

A chilly evening and I could hear the rain.

Suddenly a chirp called out to me, and I looked towards the window, and right before me, was a pretty birdie staring at me and calling out to me.

Wait a minute.. it’s blue.. it’s green.

FUCK. It looks like those in the living room.

I went to the living room and checked the cage.

It was freaking empty!!!!

I put down my stuff and went back to the kitchen and saw one of the birds still perched prettily by the window sill.

I tried to chat it up (yes, it’s a strange image), baby-talked it and coaxed it to come in.

I tried to reach out for it when I saw that it wasn’t quite moving and IT TOOK FLIGHT.

I was thinking to myself that they must have made their ways out of the cage by themselves whilst I was napping, and should be out for quite some time already, so were they staying around to taunt me?!?!?!?!??!?!?!

I switched on the lights and decided to wait for them to come back. I even called out, “It’s raining out there, you might get sick… hellooooooooooo? *whistles*“.

I am beginning to sound real crazy, ain’t I?

Sounds silly on hindsight, but I did wait.

When they didn’t, I left a light on in case they decided to fly back and couldn’t see their ways in the house. Duh.

Well, it has been like, 3 days. I doubt they are ever coming back.

Good job. You just have to do it when I was the only one alone at home. Just as I expected, my mum insisted it must be me who opened the cage and didn’t dare to admit to it.

Tsk.

I went on to meet Jenn and Ling of Passion Chiffonier for dinner at Dempsey, and I was understandably upset and sounded reeeeeeeeeaalllllllllllyyy strange when I tried to explain to them I was held up by a pair of runaway birds.

To the point I spitefully announced that they were probably gonna be captured and cooked.

It was a sheer coincidence that fowl was on the menu for the night, and the below conversation took place between me and the waiter, which on hindsight, sounded kinda wrong.

Me: How big is the bird?

Him: Well, it is big enough, you can handle it.

Me: You sure it isn’t small? I am quite hungry, I don’t like it small.

The bird turned out to be really disappointing and small.

Me: Uhm, that’s it? This is quite.. er, small.. it is not uh, big enough.

Him: You have to put it in your mouth and try it.

Me: *mumbles to self* what? Is it going to grow bigger or something in my mouth?

I have to thank Jenn and Ling for not like ending the dinner early with a weirdo as companion.

It was actually the first time I sit down with them after all this time. And they didn’t judge me for my Nicky Wu and Hawick Lau china dramas birdcatching uncool obsessions.

Yet another strange episode awaits me in the dark after dinner as I walked back to my car in the dark carpark behind block 6 and 7.

Right next to my lot, on the side of the driver seat, parked a car with engine still running.

My immediate instinct was, “DID I BLOODY FORGET TO SWITCH OFF MY CAR ENGINE?!” since it is a very me-thing for me to do before I realised it wasn’t my car. Phew.

Then I saw the moving bodies in the car.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SERIOUSLY?!

This isn’t like Mount Faber, or deserted car parks near beaches, but Dempsey carpark at 10pm in the evening.

And it was directly next to the side I have to get into the car?!

I was so embarrassed that I decided to stand around for 10 minutes, struggling between the following options:

1) walk up to my car, peer into their cars purposefully and make sure they see me, before giving them a smile to remember me by

2) open my car door wide and smack it right into their car. Not because I am mean, but I am really wondering if they would sit up, put on their clothes and get off the car to reason with me. Giggles.

3) Climb in through my passenger seat. A Prius can get away without anyone hearing it. It is even quieter than Minibean’s snores.

4) Honk. And see them panic and scramble.

Well, I was nice. I am mostly nice anyway. Ahem.

I walked towards my car with my head bowed, quickly opened the door (though at this point I was thinking there was a couple shagging just inches away from me and blushing from that fact… when did I become such a prude? HAHAHA, in the past I would have looked into it!), jumped in and drove off immediately, almost like I was the one caught in action.

***

The migraine bugged me so much that I didn’t get to enjoy one last night of solitude filled with comforting activities (like sitting through yet another drama-marathon, or reading one of those mind-fucking books with ending making you wanna smash your iPad/tear the pages up).

I think it is almost unfair to say how much I enjoy being alone, cos I can’t say that without plenty of guilt especially with Minibean in my life.

I am thankful for the bit of time I can spare to meet up with people who don’t look at me funny when I tell them make-belief fairytales or  hopelessly loserish stories or hear me coo over cheenah drama. Basically, just being an overall loser. HAHAHA.

I am eternally grateful.

This is supposed to be a post with Christmas Eve and Christmas pictures, but I didn’t expect to write this much… so that would be in another post I supposed.

Christmas went by much more smoothly and bearable than I thought it would be. In fact, part of me actually enjoyed it because there wasn’t any expectations. But I had wished it had meant more to me.

After staying in on boxing day, waking up to the rainy weather only at 4.30pm (after a string of horrible, horrible dreams), stuffing myself with junk food (because Minibean was down with gastric flu and had infected other with it, I am afraid it would be my turn soon and must indulge before I need to abstain from junk food!!) what more can I ask for?

Of course when you don’t expect anything more… it could only get better.

Better, it did get.

When West Brom gave me an unexpected Christmas present to wrap an amazing week up, when they became the first team not to concede any goals to Manchester City and held them to a draw. How awesome were they?!

Of course, Manchester United hardworkingly steered themselves to a 5 goals victory over Wigan also means that we now are of equal points as Manchester City at top of the table, and the massive goal difference then is now narrowed to only 5.

We need to work harder there.

Just totally random. I think I have more respect for clubs like Liverpool and Arsenal, than clubs like Manchester City and Chelsea. And it is not just because I naturally sway towards anything and everything scarlet.

But oh well, you know what I mean.

Posted in Minibeanism, People | 4 Comments »

The day when parenting gets awkward

August 13th, 2011 by Scarlett Ting

Or rather… the awkward moment when I tried to give the ‘talk’ to the one still 4 months short of her 5th birthday.

No one told me parenthood could be this traumatising.

Believe me when I say that she has made me lost plenty of silver from my pocket to my hair, and gave me plenty to fret about cos this young lady got plenty of guts, and wits to boot, which sometimes might be a bit hard for me to handle.

Though I must say that the strict discipline I imposed, morphing from tigress one moment and utterly affectionate clown, smothering her in hugs and kisses the next isn’t only confusing to her, but myself too.

I also want to be the good cop all the time, but then if I also play good cop along everyone, then she really become spoilt brat then is really my fault cos I didn’t stop it, and then one day when people shot me dagger stares and muttered “spoilt brat” under their breaths, I cannot justify my sharp glances and can only cower in guilt and look apologetic.

I thought of the possibility of having to go to school everyday to apologise to teachers and fellow classmates’ parents… and then I decided to tighten the leash.

Manners. Ps and Qs. I can understand her shyness and awkwardness, but she also has to understand not greeting elders is rude.

Last couple of weeks, she had her tantrums where she reacted defiantly. I notice she has this problem after spending time with grans and this, will normally set us into the vicious cycle of “let’s see who got the bigger tantrum” or “let’s see who more stubborn” race.

Many times, I would have given up before she did, but I realise she knows that and she has the Ace of Spade in hand and she would repeat this vicious pattern to get her way.

So, what did I do?

Get creative. Switch the game to Big 2 and now I got the 2 of Spade in hand. Hohoho.

Things got a tad better this week when she made a mistake and she very quickly apologised and knew she was in the wrong and I actually feel a bit bad, and I don’t really want it this way, but I can say that I rank pretty high up there, or maybe, even the highest up there as the disciplinarian she fears.

I am such a scary character. Part of me really resents playing the bad cop. *Sulks*

Today we spent a great deal of time rolling around in bed, reading side by side, with her head on my shoulder.

But, I don’t remember parenting ever this traumatising.

You know, I always thought I would be one of those cool parents, when the birds and the bees talk surface, I would talk until the kids say “OH GROSS MUM, TOO MUCH INFO! STOP!“.

But, I certainly didn’t expect it to be THIS FAST LAH! HOW TO MAKE IT LOGICAL FOR A 5 YEAR OLD?!

It started after her shower, when I was drying her, and after wrapping her in the towel, I squat in front of the hair dryer, getting ready to dry her hair.

She ran towards me, laughing, with her fingers touching her you-know-where, and flashing her… clit *cringe* to me.

To her it was supremely funny as she said, “Look mummy, it is like Papa’s boxers!”

WHAT?!

In front of Papa’s boxers also like that!

I should have broken down and wept.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IT IS NOT THE SAME!

I might have blacked out for 10 minutes or something but when I gathered my thoughts in reality… er.. they were still all over the place.

Instead of overreacting, I maintained my composure and tried to think of something smart, something matter-of-factly to say.

I told her it was wrong to ever do that, because it might be funny to her, it wasn’t funny to a lot of people. She needs to learn to protect herself from the bad people out there.

It is part of her body she might have just discovered but still explaining it to her was… difficult.

Like how it is also called private parts, and everyone should keep theirs private, and then she asked me what’s the definition of private.

Something you’re not allowed to let anyone see, touch, not even people closest to you especially if they are male until you are 30 and married.

Thankfully she never did ask with relation to my age. Ahem.

Just before she slept.. the questions started.

Mummy, so why do I have that at my pet pet?

Does everyone have it?

No, only girls have it, and that’s why boys shouldn’t be allowed to touch it.

God. I didn’t realise how awkward it is to be entertaining questions about the female anatomy. I guess the difficulty of her not nearing her full sensibility has up the complication level. I mean, if she is say, 21, I could think of a lot of cheeky answers that would probably make her blush, but this talk came too early and might be just one of the many to come.

Her rebuttal made me speechless.

Nooo BOYS ALSO HAVE IT RIGHT?! I SEEN AND TOUCH BEFORE!

………………………

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Then it was my turn to ask questions…

.. and the answers did make me heave plenty of sighs of relief but stillllll..

Apparently she has the tendency to grab people like by the hair, by the arm and such when she gets into rough play of tickling, and such.

Which explains why sometimes she makes a grab for my non-existent boobs.

So, unfortunately for the male, sometimes she had accidentally grabbed them THERE, and seeing it got her reactions, she had resorted to it sometimes, despite being reprimanded.

GOSH.

SEEEEEEEEEEE this is what happens when everyone lets her get her way and not really giving her a proper lashing of what she do and what she shouldn’t. Yes she is young, but if you not going to tell her grabbing guys’ balls is wrong, she gonna think it is funny and would continue doing it, and then think that they are the same as the female.. you know?!

Okie. I need to go chill and collect my thoughts and think of smart things to say, and phrase them in layman’s terms so I could continue the talk about the birds and the bees tomorrow.

I didn’t realise it earlier, but today, I really have to concede, this parenting stuff is hard work you know?

Posted in Minibeanism | No Comments »

National Day sweet treat from Nestlé

August 11th, 2011 by Scarlett Ting

The courier came knocking on the door the day after National Day, bringing with him some awesome treats. It was actually one of those things sent to you and you are not obligated to write about it, but it really perked me up enough for me to want to do so.

The arrival of the package (with lotsa heart and thought went into it I might add) was not all that smooth, especially after they had arranged for a drop off on National Day’s eve, and I waited well into dinner time and SMSed the person who emailed me with the arrangement to ask if I should continue waiting cos I was heading out for dinner.

I was told there was lotsa delivery and it would be delayed and they would drop off the next day, which happened to be a.. holiday? I asked if it would be any problem cos it would be a holiday butttttttttt I would still be home nonetheless and just need to let me know what time, and I was told they would do it on National Day.

National Day came and went and it was only yesterday when they messaged me that I recalled the package didn’t come, and I had totally forgotten about it.

So it came as a nice surprise when it finally arrived, and Minibean and I sat on the floor unveiling the thoughtfully packaged box…

I grew up with Nestlé products okay! And my greatest pleasure in life these days is making Milo for Minibean, and I will always conclude the last scoop with one straight shot into my mouth before washing the spoon!

That was my favourite snack when I was a kiddo! I remember I used to go to my neighbour’s house and I would sneak around to “steal” a spoonful of Milo from their tin, with the blessings of my neighbour’s kiddos, because it was only then I wouldn’t risk being found out by my mum and receive a brutal beating if I were to do it in my own home.

Accompanying the box is…

HAHAHAHA! Sense of humour is awesome! I am not a Fun Pack, which reminds me of the cringe-worthy, my-hands-very-busy-song… because don’t know to palm my forehead, cover my face in shame with both my hands, or stick 2 fingers into my ears.

Whatever happened to the Fun Pack song? Was it aired during National Day Parade?

My model was so happy with it that she left one for me, and took one to Popo to tell her to use it to go shopping with her so we can buy things for her and put inside. Tsk, why you so smart?

I was seriously thinking to myself to heed the advice of some “jiejies” to put double eyelid sticker for her other eye because it is getting so darn obvious that her eye one small one big! Everything should be balanced, one big one small should only exist in Singapore Pools, where you buy 4D.

My favourite part of the entire pick-me-up care pack?

A letter from them, and I think many social media personnel should take a leaf out of Nestlé, because it shows they took the effort to try to “know” you before writing to you and sending stuff to you. Nevermind they might get it wrong along the way, but it shows they did their “homework”, unlike some contrived emails from PR people or social media managers who know nothing they are talking about but pretend so badly that it reeks of insincerity.

And you got me at Milo, and chocolate stash. It’s one of those things you received that make you feel… thought of, and even you know it is gimmicky and most likely to be generic, but you feel warm and fuzzy nonetheless :)

And I wasn’t the only one who felt that way.

Minibean cooed and jumped around excitedly when she saw this:

A cereal bowl in her name!

She was like “Mummy, who sent this? Why she knows my name? You see this bowl got my name you know?” And she beamed so happily because.. it makes her feel special.

Now I know where the name of my favourite “Tak Kiew” (for the uninitiated, it means kick ball in Hokkien, because the picture in front of Milo tins always show an athlete, like a footballer or something) drink comes from, and I have my own personalised mug too!

It doesn’t matter I am *cough* allergic to *cough* coffee.

And the yummy treats from Nestlé! Milo energy bars! *excited* Been seeing those on the shelves but never got round to trying them and I now have my energy bar for pole dance lessons!

Saw a little curious bottle on the right and I had thought it was something like chicken essence but realised it was actually concentrated soup, so I did a little read up to find out more about the product since it was pretty new to me.

It is birthed between Maggi and Eu Yang San, and it is like the cheenah version of Campbell, methinks.

“By just adding a bottle of Yang Sheng Le™ herbal concentrate to a litre of water and adding the accompanying sachet of wolfberries before bringing it to boil, consumers can savour the delicious goodness of herbal soup in less than 20 minutes. For the versatile cook, this herbal concentrate can also be used as a cooking sauce or marinade for various Asian or even Western dishes.”

Cooooool! Especially when Minibean loves soup so much and on the days I do not have the time to brew soup for her if I am out in the afternoon, that she could come home to a bowl of soup after school, which is the norm for her.

Her eyes sparkled when her sight landed on the Kitkats, but *evil laughs* sorry, I am your mother, I have first dips and we all know what sugar does to you, so unless either set of your grans are taking care of you, you are staying well away from sweets.

***

National Day eve was spent doing something I hadn’t done for a long while.

Playing mahjong from the night before till afternoon!

My cards were so shitty that I emptied all my chips but it was so liberating for me to be out without feeling anything holding me back.

Headed home and went straight to the pool to wash the sticky grime away from the humidity, and because we made a promise to bring Minibean for a swim after the previous unfortunate weather disappointed her greatly.

I realised how much the pool has changed. It used to be quiet, civilised, with my Japanese, Indian, and Caucasian neighbours, but now… well…

I mean I have nothing against Chinese Nationals cos I have many good friends who are fabulous people from there, but an excessive of obnoxious ones really make me speechless.

Of course, flushing away the hot Japanese in board shorts looking all hunky and replacing them are loose Speedos and there was one chap who spoke so loudly, I turned to look and I had to ask SBB if the chap was wearing his underwear instead of Speedo.

But, the mother who went to the pool to pass her child a plastic bag of 2 packets of chwee kuey and put it next to the baby pool….. and encouraged him to eat it in the pool.

That…. made me feel too much incredulity that I have no words for it, that I told Minibean don’t ever do such things in the future and sia suey me.

We stuffed ourselves with KFC while Minibean very much reluctantly stuck to her soup and rice.

Minibean was very excited to catch the National Day Parade, and I believe this is the first time that she is well aware of the meaning, and well caught up with the excitement as she has became more of a sensible child this year.

Not my baby anymore :(

We had a miniflag my dad brought home for her, and she grabbed the flag, and ran towards the teevoo, placed her face next to it when it was a crowd shot, as if she was part of the crowd.

She was saying “Singapore is a great place” in mandarin, probably something she learnt from school during the celebrations, and she got a curt, “WHAT SINGAPORE IS A GREAT PLACE? MALAYSIA THEN IS A GREAT PLACE” from my mum, a sober reminder that we are just, but visitors here, and never really belonged to either place.

Before the parade started, the video for In a Heartbeat was playing (which is what is playing right now for me to write with more “feelings” hahaha) and she told me proudly she knows how to sing.. and it reminded me so much of the moving moments when I used to sing all these patriotic songs in my primary school.

She was so glued to the television and sang In a Heartbeat (music is by Goh Kheng Long!) that I joined in, and I felt a swell of pride and getting all teary.

It always used to be this way when I watched NDP or sing those patriotic songs, don’t ask me why.

I remember dozing off right after the paratroopers landed one after another and seeing an excited Minibean pointing to the teevoo…… I mean after staying up the entire night for dry swimming and wet swimming.. and the meal of KFC was doing it in for me.

I woke up and the parade was already over.

I was told that she was exceptionally excited and stood to attention during the national anthem and pledge moment.

I made a mental note to myself to teach her the pledge in mandarin some time soon.

We conversed after the parade ended, and I asked her the favourite part of the parade for her, and she cheekily, shyly and enthusiastically said, “THE BOY!”.

………………….

Young lady, I am seriously considering chaining you home when you reach puberty at this rate you are going!

Posted in Minibeanism, Perk-me-ups | 3 Comments »

Key to my heart, she needs not

August 8th, 2011 by Scarlett Ting

I wish I have a lil more spare time with Minibean over this week, but with a few loose ends tied up only over the week, I had a super dose of her only on the weekends.

I cannot NOT share the little story shared by my mum yesterday with yet another classic episode of Minibeanism, but I had my reservations sharing it in case the dodginess of it all will make you guys look at me funny.

I swear it isn’t my genes which prompted this.

The picture you see above *points up* is my dad’s travel luggage, with a bronze lock perpetually hanging off it, because Dad had lost the key to the lock and wasn’t able to unlock it since.

The lock was attached to a tiny side pouch thus didn’t really make the main holding space redundant, so we still use the luggage pretty frequently.

I shall not mention how there’s a white powdery patch at the front pocket since 2 years ago, which was a result of Minibean’s “expression of her artistic self” when she made a masterpiece of art, appealing to plenty of the senses using toothpaste in place of paint.

Of course thankfully it was toothpaste and not paint.

Minibean hasn’t been doing anything substantially dramatic for a while now (thank you, Lord!), or maybe we had just gotten used to the milder dramas and be thankful that it was never anything overly heart-stopping.

She didn’t stop hearts this time round, but certainly made all the jaws dropped when she enthusiastically ran to my parents when she knew Dad had been trying to find the keys to the lock for a while.

She had in her tiny hands, the above lock, unlocked obviously, and separated from the luggage the way my dad had wanted it.

They were of course baffled how she did it, and thought she had found the keys.. or she was the culprit hiding them away for the longest time. Trust me, she is capable of pulling off such cheeky stunts, cos if I were the one pulling off such stunts when I was a kid, the iron would be heated for some great deal of punishment beyond your imagination.

When asked how she did it…. and when I was told how she did it. I was bewildered but freaking awed and impressed beyond words lah.

She said coolly, matter-of-factly, holding the “key” up, “My hairpin!”

It was a golden hair pin with a gradually slimmed end which she twisted, inserted and fiddled with and turned it around to release the lock.

I mean, HELLO?!?!?! It isn’t those stupid silver “secret” diary lock which we could yank out with a sneeze!

And my daughter actually picked a lock with a hairpin, and succeeded.

If I have such glamourous stories to share as I grow up, I would be a cool kid instead of the one being bullied mercilessly lor!

I haven’t even tried that stunt before can?!

Okay, fine when I was in River Valley High and we were assigned locker box? I could figure out those numeric locks and would just go around snooping just because we could… it was more of the thrill of able to figure out the secret number codes more than anything else… BUT THIS ONE IS COOLER THAN WHAT I EVER DID MAN!

When I asked her again to recollect the story for me, she told me she hadn’t learned it from anyone, nor saw it on the teevoo before.

She spoke to me matter-of-factly, and everytime she uses such tone on me, she inevitably places me at the rank of a bimbo, and she, the wise sage, as if accusingly questioning me that I am way older than her, and how could I not know.

These days, this tone is used on me much more often than I would love it, and it isn’t condescending so I am in no way offended, but it just makes me feel like if I don’t crunch the full wikipedia data (yes I know they are not reliable but still..!) sometime soon, I might not be able to catch up with her wits.

That thought scares me no end, and maybe that explains the ever growing collection of silver strands in my head of black.

She said she was looking at the lock and she just thought to herself, “I slowly think.. then I thought maybe can, then I try!” as if we were so silly not to think of that.

I was just pretty amazed by her train of thoughts as she ran me through it, and it was like a 2nd nature to kiddos to think of different ways to solve a problem, and because to us adults, it was almost like impossible or a waste of time that we don’t think that much or utilise much creative juices anymore.

I certainly hope it isn’t due to the genes of an ex-carjacker. Ahem.

But I have to admit that I am actually immensely proud of her achievement, though I didn’t quite show it in case she mistakes it for approval, and I would really hate to see her conquering the locked cabinet which houses gadgets that go Brr Brr…

***

After I drove her to my cousin’s place, I met up with Sassyjan for a quick coffee, and then picked her up again, ran some errands around Singapore.

Just as I was cruising on the roads, I saw the fabulous hues in the skies and pointed out the beauty of it all to her.

I always thought that it would be nice if she could learn to appreciate the beauty in the littlest things.. and not take them for granted.

She was wowed. “I know why it’s so beautiful Mummy, it’s sunset!” She started naming the colours in the sky, and muttered how beautiful it is. I find my eyes a little moist knowing she has a heart for the little things.. and made a silent wish that this trait will stay with her for life.

She asked for my phone to take a picture of the sunset, to capture the moment. The picture turned out blurred and the perfectionist in her deleted the picture eventually, and she sat back just to see the sky slowly losing its colour to darkness.

Later on that night as we drove home, I saw the perfectly-halved moon, and pointed it out to her, and how it looks like a slice of watermelon.

Again she looked on to the sky appreciatively, and said it is a crescent, and how much she adores crescent moon to a full moon.

I always thought I adore full moon more than crescent, because in Chinese saying, a full moon is when things come full circle, and all things united, but this was the night when I reconsidered my preference, and saw the beauty of the crescent – it has a more definitive shape, and there is always varying degree of crescents… like the moon is always happy, and smiling.

***

We went to James’ place for BBQ last night and the little bundle of energy just wouldn’t stay still even for a second.

She pulled herself up this spinning curved pole, and tried to do a seat on it.

She was fabulous with the climbing and could keep up even when it was spinning and she held on tight and fast, even at one point tried to lean back and pose, like you would on the pole… we call that doing a bat.. like the way I did some time in 2010…

And you wonder where she got those genes from.

***

It was a Sunday of disappointment for her when the thunders were in full rage as if to prove some point.

No swimming for her today, though we had promised that Sunday would be swim day.

Instead, we went for a quick trip to the heartland mall, and set my bank account back more than what I would spend if I were in town.

The irony of it all.

I decided to carrying her up for a hug after I changed before heading out, and she started squeezing my boobies and rubbing them and giggled to herself.

I yelped and asked her what she was doing and she cheekily said, “Popo said if rub the neh neh they will become BBBBBBIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGG *she extended her arms exaggerated-ly*“.

I narrowed my eyes and gave the iciest stare I could manage, did she just imply I am incredibly small?

Thank you huh.

I remember the lunar new year 2 years ago when she had refused to wear her cheongsam and cried because we wore our cheongsams and she was upset she didn’t have uhm… the curves like the adults have, and insisted on wanting “some” and asked for a bra.

HELLO?!?!

Apparently she was wanting “some” recently and to appease her my mum told her that in jest to shushed her.

I don’t know which is more disturbing. Tsk.

***

Mummy is very happy cos today she got herself a new fluffy pillow to indulge in her reading after building an e-library.

The auntie at John Little was so awesome that I decided to get a pillow from her even though there was this other pillow I was very keen on lugging home because it wasn’t under her brand.

The auntie wasn’t pushy and was brilliant beyond words.. and she was so eager for me to find the one I truly wanna bestow my beauty sleep to that she kept encouraging me to try them.

I refused, but she pulled up the duvet on the display bed, and insisted on taking out some pillow case to put over the pillows I was contemplating on, and patted on them and told me to lie down.

I said many NOs but that psyched Minibean even more and Minibean enthusiastically egged me on and commanded me to lie down.

VERY EMBARRASSING CAN?!

I tried to decline but auntie said she would get me a pillow since I was wearing a dress. I patronisingly half leaned down, but auntie said I should lie straight, and I think Minibean was just having a field day seeing me caught in a compromising position.

But auntie was really sweet when she was trying to make me feel comfortable and even covered me with the duvet like an endearing mother and then when I was done, she pulled another pillow and insisted I try it so I can gauge the softness I want…

SO AWKWARD CAN?!

But I want to say, this auntie was really very nice and even wanted to take the competitor’s products to let me lie down and try. I felt bad if I didn’t buy anything, so I did and though I felt the pinch, I thought it was an awesome addition to my cosy bed and when I finished my ebook just now against my new fluffy companion, I thought to myself how I should have gotten myself a new pillow long long time ago!

***

Got home and it was spent doing bracelets with Minibean using….

Cut-up colourful straws!

She was so maxed out from the day’s activity that when she tried to play hide and seek with me and hid under the duvet, she fell.. asleep.

But yet she forced herself to wake up cos she remembered we were supposed to do the bracelets together, thus the dishevelled hair and all.

The danger of doing such with her is… she insisted on us wearing the finished products EVERYDAY here on forth.. and when we refused, the disappointment on her face was evident.

But who will take me seriously if I wear this out everyday?!

She decided to make a necklace out of it too, and was so pleased with her finished products that she wore the bracelet to sleep, though not before trying on her red/white outfit for school tomorrow to see if everything coordinates (okay, fine, she still sucks at coordinating, and refuses to listen to anyone’s opinion, but she’s still vain…).

It is getting increasingly challenging to catch up with her ever-growing personality, but this is the phase that I also feel an increasing bond to her as she is displaying plenty of understanding to Mummy’s philosophical naggings.

Sometimes, this beautiful little thing makes me feel that I wish I had her much earlier in my life.. for she has made me feel much more grounded than I had ever felt, and that I feel somewhat belonged to a family, like the way I never did in the dysfunctional family I grew up in.

Posted in Minibeanism | 3 Comments »

Princess Leia Wannabe

July 28th, 2011 by Scarlett Ting

My priceless precious,

There will be a day that you start to feel what an embarrassment your Mummy is.

But I hope you will look back all these and realise how much of such I have to endure through your years of cheekiness, and I wouldn’t change it for a thing.

Though I am pretty flabbergasted with the way you decided to improve Princess Leia’s style, as she sure come from an era too  great a distance from yours.

In the meantime, you wouldn’t be going lingerie shopping with me anytime soon.

Now I know why those shoppers were throwing me dirty looks.

Yours lovingly, Mummy.

(She had walked around and strutted in front of the mirror in La Senza while I was paying for my purchase, and I totally missed this until I was forwarded this picture today. HAHAHA,  careful Minibean, the long days ahead leave plenty of room for your growing up montages over birthdays… graduations.. first chat with the first boyfriend you bring home…)

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Minibeanism: The one that got me laughing

July 25th, 2011 by Scarlett Ting

There are many things Minibean does that are hilarious.

Don’t get me wrong and start chaining your partners to the bedposts, going at it like rabbits, screaming, “GIVE ME A BABY NOW!“, and then blaming me for misrepresentation 9 months down the road.

Parenting is not about rosy episodes with oh-so-cute moments that are filled with plenty of laughs, but sometimes instead of wailing out in despair, it’s healthier for the mind, and showing more consideration for the blood pressure to switch the perspective and TRY my darnest to see the funny side to it.

As we ventured to Vivocity on a busy Saturday, despite a very reluctant me not wanting to be soaked in the weekend crowd, and how the recent happenings made me just wanna hide at home till I could find an ounce of willingness in me to put on a cheery front for Minibean, I decided that how important weekend is for her, and still went out anyway.

I don’t shop often, so this was one of the few times that I actually shopped for a purpose and she insisted of shoving her way into the changing room with me.

What a mistake I made when I allowed her to.

First, she ran into the mirror, not once, but twice, and I mustered a very embarrassed, graceful smile to the shoppers who witnessed it, and if I could have my way, I would have said, “I’m sorry she didn’t really inherit my grace.“

Or her loud, “Mummy try this try this! This one very sexy!“

The worst were obviously left for the changing room, where she would announce to the world how Mummy is fat, tummy is too big, and the colour of your underwear, or on bad days, the hole in it.

She decided it was funny to say “Mummy, I am going to open the door now!” when I was semi nude, which the other females in the changing room would heard my panic shrieks and laugh their heads off.

I actually had a few shoppers who came out of the changing room and gave me appreciative laughs of the “joy” this little one brings me, or maybe, just at me.

Yes, of course.

There was also when I went into the changing room of La Senza, when I turned my back to try one of the bras I choose, I turned around to find her standing there posing, giving me a sheepish smile asking me if it looked nice on her.

Then, she asked me to take a picture of her in it. *points up*

We reached home after exhausting her at the playground in Vivocity, which she thoroughly enjoyed, making a new boyfriend along the way, and as she prepped herself for bed, she suddenly shouted excitedly how her favourite song is now on television.

I turned to see her standing at attention, with all seriousness, belting out Majulah Singapura like I used to do as a kid, despite we are not yet officially Singaporeans.

Ah.. things that make me smile.

Then, there are the things that made me laugh.

For example, it is 2.17am now, and interrupting my blogging is Minibean’s whimpering, and I will get to the part of why is she still awake at this ungodly hour in a bit.

To soothe her whimpering, I turned to my best friend, Google, and typed in “itchy asshole” and learnt that I should perhaps type anus, rectum, bottom to be more “googlitically correct“.

If you must know for your own reference, ahem, witch hazel (which doubles up as fabulous toner, and I use the cheap one from Guardian which works wonders!) with a drop of tea tree oil (check whether it is children safe) and eating plenty of garlic helps. Aloe Vera application is God-send too.

Turns out, it wasn’t her bumbum hole, but it was her butt cheeks that need a good scratch, so I did a little massage with the lotion, coupled with a couple of smacks and scratchings.

Yah, things us parents do.

What got me in stitches isn’t this. And most of the time, when she gave the most quirky replies, the most often reaction from me would be narrowed eyes, a cold stare, or just too speechless to reply.

Here the story goes.

In true nontraditional fashion, lights off for the household was at 9.30pm tonight.

This is almost unheard of, but an intense weekend of activities for the spawn, accompanied by the torturous heat knocked me out as early as 9pm.

I ended up waking up at 12 midnight, thinking how I have inevitably committed bodyclock suicide, but like all things, it revealed itself that everything happens for a reason….

You see, just as I was lamenting how hard it would be for me to get back to sleep, the accident happened.

“Weeeeeeeeeeet,” I heard her whimper. Uh oh. I know exactly what that means.. she had a night accident.

Minibean is so far almost fully toilet trained, except for this 2nd accident episode with me. Somehow, I don’t know why, I am not sure if she does it intentionally or not, but she doesn’t normally have accidents, but she will always have accidents over at her grans, that they have resorted to putting her in diapers, which I am dead against, because she is moving forward, why are you trying to move her a few steps back for your convenience or making her taking it for granted?!

I am not sure what exactly is the right age when they finally have a mature system to keep them dry at night, as apparently night toilet training has nothing to do with training but is dependent on the maturity of the bladder of children, and takes place much later than their day toilet training. So I decided to let nature take its course rather than panicking if I know my friends’ children have all outgrown that.

The first wetting happened some time back, when it caused a bomb to replace the duvet (speaking of which the new duvet is very comfortable compared to the IKEA one!) and comforter as she had crept up to the bed instead of being in her own bed which was partially lined with pee mats.

So tonight, barely 4 hours into her sleep, it happened.

As she is quite a kung-fu sleeper, she had somehow gymnast herself to one awkward corner of the bed, which unfortunately wasn’t lined. Guess what, she had very accurately positioned her bum a cm above the liner.

So it was a late night shower.

Then out came a dry towel to soak up the wet spot, then dynamo water to soak through the mattress, then water again. Dettol followed. Baking soda paste eventually and obscene amount of Febreeze.

She became lively (it was like she was recharged after the “nap”), and we said in mocked exasperation, guilt-trip her into settling down, “You ah! We are not angry, but you made us wake up, do this and that, so tiring you know?! You better quieten down and lie in bed, even if you cannot sleep, close your eyes!“

She was still making cheeky grins and bouncing around laughing, and then we said she would in no way getting onto my bed because the last time she did, a big hole was snipped.

“Not funny! You know the last time you peed on Mummy’s bed, how much it cost to buy the new stuff to replace everything?! You…“

Nobody really caught the meaning to what she was saying when she enthusiastically bounced up and interrupted the lecture midway, as if having an Eureka moment. It was almost like it had totally no relation to what was said to her, and we thought it was one of her distraction tactics.

But when I figured out, I couldn’t help but burst out laughing.

“Wait Papa! I know! Listen to me, you know that time the worship song I learn?“

*Sings*

“I never know… how much it cost…. See inside got say!” she had the smirkest face and brightest grin on her.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I love her creative rebuttals though sometimes it brings so much grief.

If you don’t know the song, it is “Here I am to Worship” and lyrics go “I’ll never know how much it cost. To see my sin upon that cross.”

After settling her flipping mattress to the other end, and 101 other procedures later, I was worried she was so hyped in the middle of the night that she would not fall back to sleep. Thankfully she took a bit of tossing and turning, and after a massage to her itchy bum cheeks, she drifted off, cosily tucked under her blanket.

Then, there was the laundry after she was finally asleep, and happened somewhere in the midst of this post.

I was hanging up the laundry, and when I was almost done with the last piece of garment, you wouldn’t believe what happened.

I felt the first drops of heavy rain, and I literally let out a loud, “YOU KIDDING ME!” before scrambling to bring in all the clothes and hung them indoors, working the fan throughout the night, and closing the windows.

REALLYYYYYY!

That’s why I fell asleep early tonight, right? Tsk!

Gee. Hmphf.

***

On a side note, I have realised I am setting down new disciplinary rules for her, much to my reluctance.

In a way, I have taken to smacking (on her hand) more often, and be more stern with her as I realised she has picked up some pretty bad attitude which repeated niceness didn’t seem to change. I guess I am still trying to try out different tactics to see which one she takes to.

I remember the other evening when I did so, she talked back even more and refused to cry.

I was pretty fierce and I think I scare even myself, but I thought to myself that if I waver now, it will be totally defeating the purpose and it will be ground zero again.

So I tried to out-stubborn her as she stared at me without saying a word when I smacked her hand. Then she talked back. Smack. She screamed at me. Smack. She rude. Smack. In between I would tell her why I smack her and why her attitude is wrong.  Yet she knew it, but simply didn’t care. I asked her to apologise. She refused. I said I count to 3. She remained quiet and stared at me rebelliously. Smack.

I was really hoping after the first smack she would soften her attitude and knew what was wrong so I don’t have to continue pulling this fierce mum persona off.

As I would always do, I would debrief why she was being lectured and punished for, and that I still love her, but it is my responsibility to teach her, and why learning from her mistakes is important and she cannot take basic manners for granted.

After all that sternness, I would soften, especially when she nodded to acknowledge her mistakes.

So I asked her gently, if it was painful when I hit her, that was when the rebel in her face gave way and she burst out into the most heart-wrenching sobs much to my surprise, cos all the painful smacks didn’t do anything to her (unfortunately, got my style)… and she dipped into my embrace and gave me the tightest hug, leaning her head on me, and had a good sob.

I burst out crying too.

Duh.

Bah. Now I know why some mothers always say when they spank their children, they will feel heartpain and end up crying.

Then she was back to her cheeky self, throwing her weight around.

I know there are times I am getting increasingly frustrated, and I am also learning each step of the way.

But this gift, is really one of the most precious things ever happened to me and someday I hope I will be able to offer her as much joy as she had brought to my life.

I’m still learning sweetheart, bear with me for the times I had failed.

I do love you, a lot a lot. Many many.

Time to give her a nice cuddle in her sleep, stroke her hair, and end this eventful night.

You know you’re getting on the years when eventful late nights mean laundry instead of unexpected french kisses.

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The most stressful resume, EVER!

June 26th, 2011 by Scarlett Ting

The time has come for me to be part of the norm.. the part I had resented to be part of, and was hoping there was a chance for me not to conform.

Unfortunately, I yielded to the pressure of being a local parent.

I am writing in to apply to be a parent volunteer, and I actually have to write it like a resume, and hopefully I will be picked for an interview. And if I don’t, I will fret over the next couple of years, thinking where I can send Minibean to.

Most likely I will wail and cry murder, too.

And if I do get pick, I will get stressed over the interview, and then pray I get selected post interview. You know, the cruel cycle continues…

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The thing is, I know many parents are committing to many schools, hoping to strike jackpot with one of them, I am stubbornly refusing to do that, not because of laziness, but as a parent, I am tired of the bullshit that people say your child can only be somebody if he or she goes to MGS and ACS or RGPS, and Chinese-educated kiddos will end up just be slaves to corporations and go nowhere.

Honestly I see some people from the above schools, and I hated their guts and the selfish, spoilt brats they become. So, it can go both ways, and no way is absolutely right, so don’t try to tell me I am wrong, and I won’t try to say you are, too.

Everyone has what they want for their kids, and everyone’s point of view and intention is the best they can have, I don’t want my kids to end up being CEOs if they don’t want to, but at the end of the day, the choice is theirs.

And some of the schools are known to be judgmental and clique-ly, especially among the parents, and I don’t want Minibean to be otracised just because of that.

There is only one school I narrowed down to, only because it has everything I had hoped Minibean to be equipped with, and most importantly, I have friends who told me the school is one who follows what they preach about school mottos and moral values.

It seems like some of my friends with less than well-to-do background who send their kids there and their kids are accepted and not treated differently.

I think above all, the character building part is a very important factor for me, and so far, only one school seems to fit the bill.

I tell you, this really bring parenthood to a whole, new realm.

When I got knocked up, I didn’t even expect it to be this overwhelming, and I have to say this part of trying to become “one of them” is definitely the most frustrating part of being a parent for me.

Besides the “I tell you what to do cos my way is only way” crap that’s thrown in my way ever so often.

There were actually other ways for me to do so to “get ahead of the pack” but then I am very reluctant to do so cos of principles. Principles worth how much? Integrity worth how much? Cannot eat also right? But well, irrationally stubborn people are like that one.

So. Uhm. My deadline is tomorrow.

As usual, I am procrastinating by writing silly pieces like this so I can do anything but writing that darn important resume.

Like what I had said on facebook, “God, when did I become one of those kiasu parents I used to look on with contempt. I am trying to justify I am nothing like them cos I am just trying with one school. -Denial- Cannot means cannot. But You will be hearing a lot from me till I get news (and even more when I don’t get any…).”

Yes, I am praying very, very, hard.

Did I mention that my mind is all over the place and so intertwined with all the work/assignments that I have to complete that I sprung up this morning thinking I was late with all my work that I sat up to check all my emails and typing reports and nearly calling up everyone… and kicking myself why I didn’t do anything last night, was even going to email Alvin from OMY.sg to ask for an extension of a post that I am supposed to submit by tomorrow, then only to realise it was Sunday.

I spent half an hour doing all those… and I think I scared myself enough to cut my life shorter by a few hours.

I crawled back to bed, relieved when I realised it was just the nerves taking over me and drifted off with last thoughts of me wanting to get some nice pillows which I hope can help to absorb some of the load off my mind.

Feel a tad bad that it is a day before school reopens and I had to brushed and shooed Minibean aside so I can just put my focus on her future.

I ended up saying in those “exaggerated proper parent tone” to her when she tried to pester me to give attention to her as I typed my letter of application..  “you ah! If only you know ah! *shakes head* the things we need to do for you, your future, you know or not?? You know if not because of you ah *wags finger*… tsk tsk tsk now we have to think so much, all these are for you you know? Not I want to say you ah…. *loud sigh*

She gave a truly confused expression. “Why mummy whyyyy? What you dooo?”

I didn’t explain how she should be really afraid as I will be putting her through of stress and school for 1/4 of her life.

Okie, back to MS Word. Why is this so hard?

Posted in Minibeanism | 2 Comments »

The unspeakable, the unthinkable

February 16th, 2011 by Scarlett Ting

It came out of nowhere.

She seemed so hurt when she whimpered… “Mummy.. why Gonggong don’t love Popo?”

I explained in the way I best possibly can, without letting the urge to cry overwhelming me. I guess in a way, it was reminding me of the excuses I used to conjure up myself, just so I can cope with the hostility they have towards each other intermittently.

I don’t remember the last time I cried in front of Minibean, cos I know how much of a blabbermouth she is and I don’t want the entire world to know what a marshmellow I can be.

The last time.. I think it was July 2008.

It’s funny how with a child, you can face your greatest fear with so much gusto (bless you, adrenaline and pride) that you will even forget to faint even a flying cockroach take flight in your way (or whatever your greatest fear is).

After so many years, I am still pretty fearful. She recovered pretty well, but sadly, I don’t think I ever recovered.

The next 48 hours was a series of panic attacks and random burst-out-crying spells which all seemed like a distant dream now.

It is like when things get better and you wanna open your heart, you just find more reasons to retreat into a world that holds only one person, and it doesn’t even have any spare room for Minibean, because it was the only space you feel safe and you’re too afraid to come out.

Deja vu? How you seemed to be transported through time.. and you feel like a 4 year-old going through it again.

You know, haha, I think there’s a reason why my baby pillow is still with me after 30 years. Ahem. Long service award huh?

That was the only thing I could turn to.

***

Minibean, “I tell you a secret.”

“I hit my friend in school today.”

Why did you do it?!

“Because I want to.”

-Speechless-

“Why do babies cry when you hit them?” she asked inquisitively.

Maybe she is such a strong and stubborn character that she had expected the world to be like her.

I could barely find the words within me to give the usual mother-talk, questions and answers, feelings and evaluating (so boring I shall spare you guys the details, though it was also quite a painful, heartbreaking session for me to know my Minibean is terrorising other kiddos.. could it be my fault?) before she told me how she didn’t like it when she hit her friend, and that it didn’t feel nice to hurt someone.

I can’t help but think it is all my fault.

Sheesh. To think I thought I am ready to write this, but maybe I am not afterall.

Posted in Mental Mutilation, Minibeanism | 1 Comment »

Dear Singapore Police Force..

February 2nd, 2011 by Scarlett Ting

It’s all my fault. I know it.

I mean, it is pretty understandable that when your house cordless phone has a faulty battery that makes calling out a bitch.

And it is pretty understandable that under such coincidental circumstances that a handphone was conveniently left at home, due to.. er.. maybe a bout of forgetfulness (it was a 2nd phone line so sometimes we don’t see the need of bringing it out, you know?) or plain laziness.

So what does a helpless grandmother who knows nuts about Blackberry do?

I am sure it is not incredulous that a 60 year-old housewife would actually turn to her 4 year-old grand daughter for help  (desperate times call for desperate measures, you see?) to make an innocent phone call.

I assure you, with guarantee plus many chops that it was not a joke that the first sound you heard was a chirpy, cheeky 4 year-old, who sounded panic, cos she certainly wasn’t expecting a male voice, and hung up abruptly.

I can explain THAT 2nd call. I’m quite sure there were times you make the first wrong call, and you would try again, questioning yourself if you keyed in the wrong number. Or, in this case, you question the clumsy finger of a 4 year-old.

I hope that explains why the call was passed on to the grandmother… who.. well, can’t communicate in English, and it just so happen that, it was a non-Chinese male on the phone.

I guess you can pretty much hear bewilderment in their voices as they made that joint call, and they were in no way giggling behind, cos it wasn’t meant to be a ruse brewed between 2 pranksters with a generation in between. The words the auntie was trying to say translate to “wrong number” in English, which I guess, unfortunately phone calls don’t come with Google Translate to help your male staff with.

I appreciate the absolute dedication of the Singapore Police Force, when the failure to communicate failed to take place on the THIRD call, and a female Chinese colleague came to the poor guy’s rescue, after the 4 year-old hastily stuffed the phone over to the 60 year-old housewife again just to make sure she knows what’s transpired here.

You made sure to check if auntie know very well that this was the 3rd call made (and yes, I can’t say how sorry I am that it all seemed so suspicious to come from a phone with blocked number, the only phone line with a blocked number!) cos she thought it was only the 2nd one and then only she knew that the 4 year-old had successfully established contact with the wrong party, and a very busy one, I’m sure.

And you tried to verify that nothing sinister was going on and it wasn’t 2 distressed members of the public calling for help. No, I didn’t abuse them, honest! Feel free to send social workers to check them out but it will be wasting taxpayers’ moolah, so I just wanna clear the misunderstandings so you don’t have to do that.

It was a honest mistake and I apologise on their parts.

I am sorry my severe lack of detective skills (how could I ever be compared to you great guys?) fail to find out how the hell they actually managed to call you thrice when they had tried dialling my aunt’s number.

Have a Happy Chinese New Year! A prosperous one too! Thank you for making our country a safe one to stay in! Have a successful new year of eradicating all the crimes and stabbings!

And oh, happy a happy chinese new year whoever is reading this too!

Posted in Minibeanism | 8 Comments »

School-less week

January 29th, 2011 by Scarlett Ting

This is quite a different school week as Minibean is having an “extended” pre-lunar new year holiday.

It started on Sunday when she was down with fever and despite all the medication, it warranted a strip to the hospital on early Tuesday morning when her fever failed to subside, and kept on breaking the records on the thermometer.

I think I was the typical worrisome parent when her fever soared to 40 degrees and the doctor looked at me with THAT look and said calmly that it would probably come down, and we would wait for the blood test results.

I was just relieved that we brought her to the hospital, or else we might just let her sleep through the night without realising her fever went up that much despite the medication.

And I shall not mention how excruciating it is to watch her agonising over the ice bath.

Seriously, how did she have all those energy to run and run and run and run despite such a temperature, I have no idea.

I thought she would be ready to head back to school on Thursday despite still having a slight fever of 37.5, as she had a school excursion to Botanic Garden, and she didn’t want to miss it.

Of to school she went, and I was contemplating to drive down and watch her from afar.. like you know, do the embarrassing parent thing of “Oh, Charissa, what a coincidence! What you doing here? Mummy thought it’s a nice day to come to Botanic Garden to.. er.. smell the roses!”

She would be thankful to know her mummy has more self control and decided against it.

Don’t worry, I’ll leave the stalking till you’re in your tweens teens when you have over zealous male classmates asking you out. Hurhur.

It rained and I think she was caught in the drizzle briefly, and started to have a more severe cough, so we thought keeping her at home on Friday would be a good thing so she doesn’t spread to her classmates.

Which proved to be a good decision because on Friday, her fever climbed back to 38.5…. and marked her longest fever ever.

I managed to drug her to sleep early on a rainy, chilly Saturday after a cosy meal of dinner, and snuggling under the blanket to watch Happy Feet.

Mummy actually teared watching Happy Feet. Now, THAT is embarrassing.

She’s still very much filled with her Minibeanism wisdom, and I find it amusing that she tends to quiet down when the news came on, and tries to make sense of it.

Today some political news came up and the word science came up, and she was like, “Mummy, Science, science centre right? We went there!”

I wasn’t sure if I was disappointed that she wasn’t truly into politics.

I said something about Tom Cruise, and she asked if I was talking about Royal Carribean. Can’t blame her, he isn’t exactly her era.

She saw a picture of Jay Chou, and said he is handsome (we need to assess your taste in men, young lady), and then said her papa is not handsome (HAHAHA!).

While showering her, she pinched my nips. She barged in when I was in the washroom, and she ran out screaming cos it was too smelly (serve you right!).

***

There was also some free time to catch up with friends this week.

Bren is in town, and we met up for dinner at Suntec on Wednesday, and again last night just to chill. First at Holland Village, before adjourning to East Coast Park.

Met up with LH late yesterday night as well at East Coast, and I think I need up with that babe more cos one-to-one girls night out is actually quite precious.. and the things you find out about each other, or even about others, are indeed, quite the opener.

Thursday night belonged to Cheyenne, and isn’t it just so great to have someone understanding your point of view to get loads of things off your chest? If only, I am still as pointed as I was years before, and could just lay everything down on this space, but too many bridges, too many obligations, and too many.. people involved.

Someone once told me, goodwills mean nothing, if you don’t tag a price to it, but if you tag a price to it, how can it still consider a goodwill? And when will those goodwill become.. an expectation and be abused by people you extend it to?

Hmm.. oh well, I guess, the line is not defined well enough.

I am prepping myself to take on whatever is to come, and let’s hope I am well conditioned by then to handle it.

And.. feeling too much injustice over the people around me are treated. But I really don’t appreciate my friends having their confidence destroyed by people who are this nasty.

No one owe anyone anything. Same thing. If I offer to help, don’t take it that you owe me anything, but at least be civil and respectful. The worse you can do is that you make it like I owe you something. The same thing is, if you offer someone’s help, don’t ever think that it is doing something so that this person will feel like he or she owe you something and will forever be at your biding.

***

Dad called just now just to speak to me cos he hasn’t seen me in a while. Warming up the cold, cold night (I ain’t complaining about the cold, I love it like that!) in the sweet little way he knows :)

Feeling a bit under the weather myself and let’s just hope my body can pull through the strain of super virus (everyone I know around Minibean is down with the infection too), and have a great Lunar New Year..

.. By great I mean, polishing off all the bak kwa (eh.. one pack already gone even before new year starts!), emptying the love letters (one and half bottles gone), and starting to get on that damn pole and work them allll off.

Posted in Life's Fillers, Minibeanism | No Comments »
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