Happy 71st birthday, my dearest Papa.

Yes. See, I am making my darnest effort to get into the spirits of writing again and pumping some life into this forgotten space.

Let’s see how long this phase will last before something important; say, the launch of a new game or when the US television season returns, come along and bring with them my compulsive obsessiveness.

So how’s new year been going? A random thought came to mind today when I was having that depressive thought about growing older, and then I made a stubborn, sulkish promise to myself that in the year 2012… I am refusing to grow up.

Hmphf, yes, I don’t care. I just don’t want to. If it sounds disgusting to you, imagine me saying that when I am 40 and you’d feel better already.

Anyway, HAPPY NEW YEAR! There’s really not much point to the above except that all the blarblarblar I read these couple of days everywhere and everyone sounded mad positive and repetitive that I started questioning myself.. WHY I SO OLD STILL SO LOSER ONE?!!

So the thoughts ding-donged here and there, then I self-consoled myself that nevermind, who cares right? Who wants to grow up seriously?!

Don’t judge me. If you are, WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?! You probably have some growing up to do too. Hurhur.

Ok. Onto mushy stuff.

Eventful is probably the way to sum up the relationship between my dad and I in the past year, where we actually had our first cold war since late 1990s, which is like OMG! ALMOST HALF MY LIFETIME AGO. Less than half, but still… it IS a lot, unlike those who are still in school whose half a life-time ago was AFTER this space’s existence.

Anyway.

A part of me know absolutely well that as morbid as it sounds, time is running out. Even if he has 20 or 30 years ahead of him, time is never enough especially when you see how age catches up with everyone around us.

Of course there is always uncertainty in life which the last year had taught me much, that I have to constantly remind myself (I do find it a challenge most of the time) to -prep yourself for the cliche- treasure every single moment I have with my parents, and Minibean too.

No massive fan fare this year, as my parents headed out in the evening for a function with Minibean (it’s midnight and they are not back, my parents are indeed much more happening than I am!), and the little moment as I sat by the dining table talking to my dad, sharing loud whispers (his hearing is not optimal these days) of gossips about my mum was probably the major highlight for me.

Dad sat around to relate his travelling experiences, of the various mountains he had scaled. Dad is an established traveller, and he spoke of Canada, and how he enjoyed Vancouver the most because of this skii mountain that offered the most fantastic view. I supposed it was Whistler he was speaking of animatedly.

I secretly seething that he didn’t bring me along. My apologies Minibean, now I know why you always so sad when I didn’t bring you on my trips. BUT now being Minibean’s mum, I can SOOOOO totally understand why Dad didn’t bring me.

We were chatting when Minibean showed him a clip on the iPhone, playing a Christmas animation with a Bollywood-ised version of Jingle Bells (watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5i6JPIfDoWU) one of them clips that will make you go “NOOOOOOOOO SWITCH IT OFFFFFFFF!” because you know how it is gonna cling to you like a psychotic ex-girlfriend and plague you in your dreams.

I have no idea why Minibean is so fixated over the clip and the song, and she loves to giggle with her hand over her mouth (Why so shy?? Why so embarrassed?!) and would try to dance to it.

Side track a lil, I am bewildered why in the clip, they point middle finger one?!

Why so rude one?! Tsk tsk.

There was this particular moment when my eyes went moist when he laughed together with her like a kid, and he lifted his arms and flapped them in the air just like the minions/humpty dumpties/creatures are doing.

There and then, it became my favourite song.

What the freaks are they anyway?!

Okay, back to THAT moment. I saw the faces of both grandfather and granddaughter as they skipped heavily together, danced clumsily, laughed unreservedly as they looked at each other while I looked on, wondering why didn’t we have more of such moments and I wanted to freeze-frame that moment (in my memory, I already did).

Isn’t it amazingly beautiful how when people get older, they actually laugh unbridledly, without guardedness, without agendas, claiming back their birth rights of innocence?

It was more of such precious moments I want to see.

I am glad to say that the past 2 years has seen an improved relationship between my parents and I and though not significantly, there was definitely an increase of quality time spent with them.

I wouldn’t say everything is perfect, but in retrospect, things are certainly better than it was in the past.

I passed him a Gucci keychain as a gift and in some ways I think it is awfully insincere, so let’s hope shopping in Europe is gonna be fruitful enough for us to find something, though I do have something in mind…

Dad and I had decided to keep the trip a hush hush from my mum cos she tends to over-react even with the good things. We spoke discreetly, chuckling as we shared secrets round the dining table as I tried to suss out what are the places he would like to see, how heavy an itinerary he would like to take.

It was pretty hilarious as we were sitting by the table, and he explained why he was still home at 2pm in the afternoon. He played mahjong till4am early this morning, and he joked he won enough to cover the trip and gave me a child-like victorious grin.

I confessed sheepishly that I had just reached home from a night of mahjong playing. What did they say about genes again? Yes, I drove home from Marine Parade (where wouldn’t I go for mahjong, seriously?!) at 2 freaking in the afternoon after heading over to Lee’s place last night.

Ladies and gentlemen, for all the back-breaking efforts, I won a grand total of $14.

Nothing awesome, but a tiny win to set the new year plus plenty of good company was something really precious to me. I think last night was one of the nicest sessions because I thought what we spoke about were really heart-felt and I know they are people who actually understand, do not judge and most importantly, do not share things about for sake of gossiping.

And in 2012, I show that I still have IT. It = the stamina for marathon mahjong session. Honestly, I thought it ended a tad too early. HAHAHA.

***

New Year’s Eve was quiet and reflective, and it came before I was even aware of. When I went to the kitchen to find some guilt-induced junk food to chomp on, I checked the clock to realise it was actually *gasp* 12.10am.

I remember going to Dad’s room to wish him Happy New Year, and the very first thing he asked me was where was the iPad and if I could charge it for him.

I stayed up the entire night drawing up my itinerary and I am thankful after struggling for couple of nights, things are beginning to take place. All air-tickets are booked, and I have 3 different itineraries since not all of us are flying back on the same day, and everything has to be meticulously planned.

Some of the bookings are done. I have to say how amazing it is to fly to London by Emirates and returning from Vienna costs only S$950, inclusive of taxes!! All our tickets worked out to be less than S$1000 per pax. And air ticket to Rome from London, inclusive of charges for excess baggage, costs about S$80 per pax.

  HAPPY LIKE DON’T KNOW WHAT! I KNOW RIGHT, I AM SO AUNTIE HUH! The hotel accommodation in London is costing me about 20 quids per night works out to be less than S$50? Don’t you just love Winter deals?

So yes, surfing for deals require energy and time, thus my New Year’s Eve, was spent doing so in the day, dinner with family in the evening, and then back home doing the darn proposal while trying to get away from the darn iPad’s Birzzle Pandora game.

By the time I got some sleep after ushering the new year, daybreak beckoned.

Not quality sleep, but good enough for me to continue staring at the monitor doing my researches.

Went to pick Minibean from her grans after they brought her to church, and I made a spontaneous decision to bring her to Johor to pick my mum up, and off to Jaybee we went!

The car ride was harmonious and filled with non-aggressive banters with mum, which only lasted till the time she got home and we argued yet again, but since it is the new year, I will just not talk about it, cos by the time I saw her this morning, all’s well, so *shrugs* I guess that’s the way it is.

Now, it’s about time for me to return to my itinerary planning and accommodation booking. I had a planning crisis cos I had booked the tickets and THEN realise I am a tad apprehensive visiting one of the places I had originally planned – because the weather is are-you-freaking-kidding-me-minus-ten-degrees.

Once the itinerary is firmed up, perhaps I will share the details to my next adventure. A massive adventure for the meaning it holds.

I hope your new year has been much more happening than mine! Happy 2012 everyone!

With a Thursday spent shivering under my duvet, and my tummy feeling absolutely strange… it was spent with me drifting in and out of consciously for a better half of the day.

I was unusually grouchy feeling under the weather, and it ain’t helping when there were quite a load of things at the back of my mind I need to clear, gasp, before the holiday season.

I have been quite a wet blanket with my impending diving plans with Gills to do my advanced open water, with either too much worries of work at the back of my mind, or the fact that the vacay is taking place right at the most crucial peak of all things.

I felt bad when I had shot down the plans for live onboard the very moment it was suggested today. “Is the phone signals going to be any good? Cos it would mean no email, and I need at least contactable by phone.”

Mind you, though the phone call was in the afternoon, I had said that when I was semi-conscious in my sleep after a late night of mahjong.

I want also! I want to dive more too! But but but…. oh well, that’s an adult’s life isn’t it? Obligations, commitments, responsibilities.

I sooooo want cannnn *sulks*

I am just glad to be away for new year, since.. new year doesn’t quite mean much to me. It is just a day I wanna hide away.

As I get older, a new year is just as exciting as adding a new tab to a folder, to box up the previous year, so we know in which exact year we screw up/do something right, and we can always refer back to the folder for reference in the future.

It means nothing anymore.

I think I agreed with myself that I resent new year countdowns, last year.

I laughed and cried at last year’s, despite a joke kinda took on a self-fulfilling prophecy. I think I laughed out of what was expected of me to do so.

I cried, because I really needed to.

The bad start wasn’t an indicator of what a great year it has been, and it was just another bad day.

So, this year, the jump in the last of the 4-figured thingy, is just a jump of December to January. Like November to December.

And most probably I will be fast asleep cos of an early boat ride the next day. Wooohooooo!

Okay, more on that later, cos… I was going to blog about my very excited mahjong week.

My mojo for mahjong seems to at its peak, despite being on medical leave on Thursday, when an invitation came in from the hands-itchy trio, I couldn’t refuse.

So, it was an impromptu session(I love spontaneity especially from my mahjong kakis) at my place, and my cards for the night were good/bad enough for me to have a pending Da Si Xi (Big 4 happiness), and 2 very close chap sar yio (13 terminals).

Like the joke at the mahjong table, so “turned on” but “cannot cum”(-cue shy giggles-), the good hands(no pun intended) didn’t bring the climax.

So there wasn’t any point to my shallow breaths, currents down the spy, shaky hands, increased heartbeats , slight tingles… and absolute thrill as I waited.

But it was a good night nonetheless.

We gave our usual Friday a miss, and I fell asleep early while watching CSI… I feel like an absolute auntie, despite feeling a tad lost without my usual mahjong night.

I took the evening to make a slight change to my hair, though I make a vow never to believe when a hairstylist say “one inch” their sense of measurement must be at the other spectrum when a guy says “9 inches”.

It was at least 3 inches she took off my original locks, but it isn’t a biggie, cos my hair was so thick/heavy/dense/long that the stylist took turns to touch my hair, egging their colleagues on to hold the bunch of hair in their hands… and then asking how I normally survive washing my hair without having sore arms.

I felt lighter, but felt a little naked.

She cut my fringe again, and I feel I look like I am trying to look young.

But you know how hairstylists are good sales people, but I don’t blame them when they thought I was a student and suggested I could go for more vibrant colours(The young stylist had said “Our age we can try colours like this…” cough cough). Wahahahaha.

I had mentioned I have had tremendous hair loss, so it wasn’t as thick as before, and they asked if it was due to stress. Child Birth, I said. And they stopped tending to my hair(I had colour, cut and treatment, which always require 2 of them each taking one side to save time) and stared at me, asking if I had married(er, duh) damn young.

Like you can see, it was just an attempt to rub my ego a little, after suffering so much abuse and bruising to it recently.

A quick late dinner later, I was back home. It was a nice, relaxing chat at the lobby, and I am still working to where I want to be.

***

Was woken up earlier than I had expected to be, to head to Kembagan to get some dive gears, which were on sale.

I didn’t really wanna get anything, but still gave in to the buying impulse. So now, I have a mask, as well as booties. Now, I probably need fins. With the gloves WT got for me, I am all ready to go, though I hope it doesn’t appear overkill on a newbie like me.

It was then late lunch with Stanley and WT at Old Hong Kong cafe at Katong, bored stiff by all their doctor talks, before heading to town to be trigger-happy.

Orchard was so packed. Very much packed with people like me, holding cameras… getting overwhelmed by the human traffic, awed by the festive spirits.

I don’t see people laughing much. I wanted to take street photography(hahaha, I am such a noob), but I just… lack gift.

Wanted to catch Twilight but tickets were sold out everywhere, and we holed up at Borders’ and I was given a book “450D for Dummies”.

No prize for guessing what it is for.

Heading home to curb the itch of the hands with the usual suspects, and it was another night of laughter, and great company.

Special pizza delivery from one very important friend of my life… and it was good seeing her again. Maybe, it will be great if I can tempt her enough to join me for some new year diving, and take our advanced open water together.

Hor, Jijo?

And that marked my mahjong Thursday and Saturday, with Levin lamely joked that we had a kar-long(you need to mahjong to know this) Friday, thus making it up with 2 nights.

It didn’t end till early 6ish this morning.

I was almost too exhausted to realise what had dropped on the floor when I stripped for the showers.

HAHAHAHAHA.

Lauren was exceptionally late for the mahjong session, and we had WT to stand in for him(zzzzzzz… giggles).

WT had lost 30 bucks for him. COUGH. Okay, Levin had helped WT to lose 30 bucks to us.

So, being superstitious about “borrowed luck”, I insisted on returning the pink chip.

Which because of some twist of fate, didn’t happen.

So whenever the chip is in my drawer, I will lose.

To the point Lauren suggested keeping the chip in my bra, and it might help.

And well…. it did, when I put it in the left side, and I started winning 1 or 2 doubles.

But I would lose 3 or 4 doubles.

Hahaha, so he suggested switching side.

Wah. Then I won 5 tais! Self-draw!

My mahjong wifey then placed one yellow chip in each side to follow suit.

Though I remembered it throughout the game, I forgot about it when the game ended.

So when I was in the showers, it hit the floor, much to my amusement. In fact, I was so delirious that when I heard it, I totally didn’t expect it to be the pink chip and had seriously wondered what it was as my vision frantically searched for it.

Anyway.

I am tempted to head to the cinema myself today.

I was tempted to head in to JB myself too.

I was tempted to get my Christmas shopping done…. and I still haven’t done so! Of course, this will come with lugging my new black beauty around.

Despite all the temptation, the greatest evil of all – my cosy, lovely bed, seduced me enough to stay home, and blog… watch CSI… edit pictures, which itself, is a lovely way to spend the Sunday.

Well, the next week will be, challenging, I believe.

Hopefully I can finish whatever I need to before timeline is up, so I can breathe freely, in Phuket.