I think that explains.

Watching a movie that didn’t define us, but had described our fate.

***

The Saturday I looked forward to didn’t quite happen.

The massage which they didn’t go, and the pieces of garments which I had meant to shrunk didn’t get to the tailor’s.

I don’t quite enjoy town area, and I still don’t.

I ended up sitting outside Far East, enjoyed my bubble red tea, and get all blurry-eyed as I stared emptily into the space.

It was that moment, an hour plus into it, when I decided the clutter I no longer want, and deleted everything from my phone. Thousands of them, from various people, many people.

I must have deleted some of those with important information inside, but uhm, oh well, nevermind. But it makes me conscientiously delete those new incoming messages before they build up until it becomes such a tedious job to tidy them anymore.

Then I stood up, and walked away.

***

Met up with Siren and I thought we could utilise the 2 hours prior to the movie to well, save the world.

Alas, the walk around the area proved to be exhausting and unfruitful, and it left little time for us to save the world.

So, we piled on the carbs with some suppering.

Not forgetting exchanging horror stories of frightening, hair-raising nature, as well as those laughing-out-loud nature ones.

***

What’s wrong with me with all the fatigue and exhaustion, that makes me feel a perpetual need to prop my feet up or else I feel breathlessness?

***

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul. — William Ernest Henley

What a poem.

What a movie.

***

Many emotions ran through me as I sat through the movie. For those who know me well, I don’t like to find out too much what the movies I watching are about, unless, those adapted from the books I already read.

I did know the show was good from people’s recommendations, and it was Nelson Mandela related (seriously, who can pass this up?).

And with Morgan Freeman (and that would mean the reminiscing on one of the most brilliant movies made – Shawshank redemption), Matt Damon (Talented Mr Ripley, another of my favourite), and behind-the-camera Clint Eastwood (I bawled watching Gran Torino, what do you think?!), did I hear bonus already?

I didn’t know what the movie was going to be about, nor did I know about the plot. Heck, I wasn’t even really aware it was about, rugby.

But the movie gripped me from the start, to the end. I didn’t even know that more than 2 hours had passed cos the movie was THAT compelling.

It wasn’t long into the movie that I felt moved in a way that built its way up throughout the movie. It is not exaggerated for me to say that I had tears rimming my eyes throughout the movie, which had me walking out telling Siren how I think I was being hormonal cos the emotional impact the movie had on me.

Apparently I was being “normal” cos Miss Cynical agreed with me. Phew.

The movie got us and the chaps talking for a while in the car, and it is a fantastic movie that you should NOT miss.

A message of incredible value to be told to the world, and to remind those who have forgotten.

Of peace, of equality, of…. forgiveness. And it will be one of those films I will list down for Minibean to watch in the future (yes, I do have some kind of this list tuck away somewhere).

I was particularly touched, when the soundtrack Colorblind was playing in the background, with the lyrics:

And it’s not just a game
You can’t throw me away
I put all I had on the line
And I give and you take
And I played the high stakes
I’ve won and I’ve lost
But, I’m fine

Hear me say I’ll rise up ’til the end
Hear me say I’ll stand up for my friends
And I crash to the ground
And it’s just my own sound
I drop in the blink of an eye
I’m colorblind

And your milky way fight
Won’t stop my delight
You keep me and lock me away
And it’s dark and it’s bright
It’s your colorful pride that kept me here 9000 days

Hear me say I’ll see the sky again
Hear me say I’ll drive for you my friend
There’s a noise in the crowd
But it’s just my own shout
A stumble I fall and I pray

Hear you say your eyes see green again
In the end we’ll lived up holding hands
Yes, we’ll spark in the night
We’ll be colorblind
And these are the lives we gave

Hear me say I’ll rise up ’til the end
Hear me say that I’ll stand beside my friends
I won’t stay on the floor
I will settle the score
A stumble I fall and I pray

Hear me say it’s time we stop talking
Eye to eye we see a different face
Yes we we’ve conquered the war
With love at the core
A stumble I fall, but I’ll stay
Colorblind.

The unyielding theme to the movie, and how strong the divide and tension was portrayed, and how everything melted away because of one man’s geniuses, foresight and big-heartedness… and it is beautiful to see people of different agendas from the start to have their doubts and cynicism washed away because of a leader who believes in setting an example and extended the grace of forgiveness to the Afrikaners – and convinced them with the assurances of the important roles they had to play post apartheid.

At the end of the show, I don’t think I remember any divide of colours, as if everyone is an equal, like you and me. It had perhaps helped us to see beyond that. When people unite, hearts as one with their guards down, it is a picture of beauty.

I know it is a bit off pace, but it is not unlike when you are in the stadium and you start hugging everything when your team scores. Think Manchester United V Chelsea in Moscow. -Smiles fondly at memory-

I watched the rugby match with the same sweaty pump, and had my emotions manipulated even though the story was an ending anyone could predict.

I mean, some critics say the film is predictable, but seriously! If it is a story inspired by real-life accounts, it gotta be predictable right?!

Most importantly, it shows a person with heart, who had made a difference, because of his humility, and sincerity.

Forgiveness liberates the soul, and removes fear, that is why it is such a powerful weapon.

***

So many other movies I had wanted to catch. Mother. The Blind Side. Morgans. It’s Complicated. Brothers. New York, I love you. Oh, with The Lovely Bones coming up too. Nine.

***

Yes, as I was saying, Invictus was perhaps aptly describing our fate, not defining us.

It was 3am when we finally left the cinema, and hopped down to Peninsula to realise the LAN gaming centre does not have L4D2.

SERIOUSLY?!

We headed to Prinsep, where the 4 of us took on the world of zombies, and emerged looking like one of ‘em past 7am in the morning.

We could still go on, but the uncle amongst us had decided to fly us kite like the way Siren (kudos to her, did it for the RIGHT reason) had done it the night before.

The first round went pretty ideally at the amusement park, except for the fact that they 3 of them had safely escaped, leaving me to fend for myself as I was “Raped” by those zombies.

I have to say again how much I love my melee weapons, and I seem to work the best with the katana and the axe so far.

And I have no idea why my teammates always shouting and screaming for me, asking where I am, and no matter how I tried, I could never find or keep up with them.

In a real life zombie-attack, I probably would be the first to perish, since I kept losing my way.

Is it any surprise when the credits rolled and it said, “In memory of.. Scarlett Ting“?

Pfft.

And subsequently, despite hours after hours, rounds restarting after restarting, we never did manage to conquer past the 2nd map we played, even though it was on EASY mode.

ROAR!

And us shouting NBCB turned out to be quite demure and subdued with the rest of the people behind and around us going 10 times beyond that.

We felt normal already!

Damn high can?! We walked into the sun-lit sky feeling all the energy ZAP! ZAP! ZAP!, sapped up within seconds and it did feel like I was really raped(figuratively of course) by thousands of ‘em zombies and thus the chui-ness of it all.

But I bet if you pull me back into the LAN shop and get me onto another map, I could probably spell Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious without missing a letter under 3 seconds cos my mind will be THAT sharp. Alas, didn’t happen, cos not enough kaki.

So we walked out as cowards, wimps, underachievers, who did not conquer the infected in that map, FOR MANY TIMES.

Boo!

***

I went past the overhead bridge near my place on my way back, and the movement of the figures on it made me shot up from my lazy lean and my mind just seem to go into instinctive zero-ing in on my target, and how I would aim my gun and pull the trigger.

Shudders.

I remember having the same traits during my Battlefield 2 phase.

It is not a good news that I went to sleep after HIMYM (yes, I even had the energy to continue on with that), and had several dreams about zombies and how I would go about killing zombies.

I insist that I am having such dreams cos of severe deprivation and the utter sense of failure for not conquering the map which well, we fail to overcome.

And then I dreamt about taking a boat ride with Minibean and forgotten to bring her home.

DUH.

***

Sunday was leisurely nice as we went to meet up with Suki who is in town for another visit, and we ended up having fabulous Peranakan food at PeraMakan at Keppel.

Buah Keluak (Minibean loves it!), and finally my Pulot Hitam with Gula Melaka. Plenty of yums. Ian shot me a look and gave a laugh when he saw the amount of rice on my plate. Ahem. It was no good news I finished all that carb. It was just good that the guest enjoyed her food

Minibean was excited, and her cough has became so phlegmy and she just manja-ed in my chest for a while before trying to tease and disturb me. She adores her jiejie Suki too.

And her favourite these days is the story of Goldilocks and the three bears, and she can recite the story to every bit of the details.

She is just so amazing.

***

I love my prosperity burger and twister fries and iced tea, nevermind that one upsized meal suddenly doesn’t feel enough. Slurps.

Burp!

Finally HIMYM Season 4 is finished and onto season 5!

Then it would be time to catch up all the fabulous movies I had missed in 2009. Gee, how about the Texas games and books I neglected?

And the plenty of updates I had put off?!

I need more time!!

And the spontaneity I promised myself in twenty ten?!

Tsk.

Oh sheesh, is today my first lesson for Pole 2 already?!

Bah.

Woohoo, happy Monday! More meeting ups this week!