ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAARR!

Woe is me!

I have ill customer service(S) tormenting me today.

And yes, unfortunately, I have to carry on with my FOURTH rant on Vpost.

Update is, as expected, when they had assured me they would update me on the status TODAY, and I can expect my package on Tuesday or Wednesday (that is, tomorrow OR the day after), I got a big disappointment yet again when they didn’t call by almost end of day.

I called (okay, I just received their call. This post is going to be long), and I was put on hold for them to get an update. Another customer service officer tend to me after I insisted on talking to the in-charge who spoke to me last week but she was at a training and wasn’t able to call back.

When she got back, she apologised for her colleague who told me the parcel was on the plane cos the colleague was new, and the colleague didn’t dig further on the status.

Then, she told me that the status is the item had been shipped but not arrived in Singapore yet.

So when I mistook to be that they item is still in US, she said, “No Ma’am, your item is not in US, it has been shipped, just not reached Singapore yet.”

By this time and with numerous other phonecalls, I was pretty frustrated, and probably was the time I really got impatient with my tone, and said that her in-charge was supposed to update me the status but didn’t, and they just can’t keep to ANY of their promises.

So. Her answer was as good as a non-reply. I decided to ask her, “So your in-charge said it should reach me by tomorrow or Wednesday, is that going to happen? Can you check on the status?”

Like, duh right? That was what my phone call is about, cos you guys promised to update status, didn’t call, so I call right? So you just thinking of anyhow-ly appease me is it?

I was put on hold for a good 15 minutes, which was like on top of the almost 10 minutes when she first checked on the log.

She came back and she apologised for putting me on hold, and then she apologised.

For giving me the wrong updates.

Here is the clincher:

MY PARCEL IS STILL FUCKING, PROCREATING, HAVING ITS LONG HOLIDAY IN US OF A!

So last week, everything promised, was nothing but plenty of bull, apparently.

Of cos I fume lah!

Holy mudder moooomoooooo cow!

I mean, seriously, she was saying her colleague didn’t dig deeper, and if I didn’t ask, would everyone just ASSUME my package is already on its way and no one will bother until I call and probe again? She said her colleague is new, and then now she ownself also like that what, is what?!

So I started pressing for a reason, an explanation why they freaking didn’t expedite it as was said in the past few phone calls, and then she said she would do so now, and put it as urgent, and the earliest she can get an answer is tomorrow cos it is almost end of day.

YOU ALSO KNOW END OF DAY AND WANT TO GO HOME AND STILL DIDN’T CALL ME BACK HOR?

I asked her to cut the bull cos what is going to be making this time different from the last few times they promised me. She said she just handled this case, and I told her that’s why I asked her supervisor to call me back, didn’t I? Cos the supervisor gave me her words to update me and would request it to be expedited, and that it should reach SG tomorrow or Wednesday.

So get her to call me.

She said she will get her to call me back by 5.30pm.

I very angryness, so I went to do my work, and didn’t realise it was almost 5.45pm. I called back, and the lady who told me my parcel is on the flight answered the call.

Talk about full circle. But I insisted on the supervisor to call me back, and she said she would do so by 6pm.

It was slightly over 6pm when my phone finally rang, and the same supervisor was on the call. I was just so disheartened that I couldn’t be angry anymore. I just sounded cold and remote.

First I told her she was irresponsible not to call me with any status. And I asked again, and she said there was delay.

Then I asked again, last week also delay, so why wasn’t it expedited as they said they would?

She then said there was a mistake.

I asked for an explanation. She said she would update me tomorrow.

I asked again. Blarblarblar something the usual.

So this time, they finally fucking came clean.

Sorry, we have bad news….

What bad news, I probed further. Her sentence broke midway and perhaps slightly hesitant, “Sorry Miss Chong, we lost the tracking of your package, and it seems like we can’t find it. We are still trying to locate it… we will update you the status by tomorrow. I promise I will update you tomorrow by 11am.”

I have many things going in my head, but instead of losing it, I just wanted to end the phone call for good.

“Okay, please do.” I answered curtly.

NAHBEH, LOST IT DON’T FUCKING DARE TO ADMIT IT FOR SO LONG?!

Because, I finally got the fucking answer I want from these incompetent people.

All the merry-go-rounds you made me go, so finally can come clean after countless probing. YOU SAY DULAN OR NOT?!?!

Then the past 2 weeks, waste my time so much for what?

I can almost imagine the answers they gonna give me tomorrow.

ANGRYNESS IS ME LAH……………!

ROAAARRRR!

***

In other news, I had wanted to set a medical appointment via email with a wellness doctor so perhaps can arrange for a cancer indicator test or something. I had wanted to arrange an appointment with Siren since it is free consultation first time round.

So I emailed them my full name for registration, as well as Miss Siren Lu’s name and IC for registration.

In their initial reply, they said, “So what is a good time for you and Mr Chong?”

Uhm, so they mistook me for Miss Lu.. and my name for Mr Chong.

Then that time I very speechless, then didn’t reply. So when I finally followed up, she emailed back, “Hi Miss Ting, we have 2 slots, do you want to book for you and Mr Chong?”

I replied to Joyce, stating that I just needed one slot will do since Miss Lu can’t make it, and I am Chong XX, I threw in a smiley face, in case she went “OHHHHHHH….” and wished she has a hole to burrow into cos of the booboo.

THEN AH!

HER REPLY CAME IN:

Hi Mr Chong,

I’ll book only for Chong XX on 18th Dec’09 at 3.45pm.

We will cancel the booking for Ms Lu at 3.30pm on 18th Dec’09.

Gasp.

BOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO!

Ah Cruz said maybe I should reply, “Lim Bu is Chong XX!” and then he added on that probably she would say, “Oh, then is Mr Chong coming?“.

I should have stuck to what I initially joked, “Please arrange for consultation with Dr XX from the other department, Chong XX wants D-cup nehs“.

Angryness many ah!

I don’t remember ever having to rant 3 straight posts on how cheesed off I am by pure, ill, substandard services.

But, yeah, here I am.

And you guess it, Vpost is officially on the top of my sucky list, and probably has the WORST service ever.

It is not even the fact that their staff are bad, cos in their defence, they are mostly polite, and calm, though they are always clueless and their firm tones are probably their best weapons to give disgruntled customers a false sense of security and assurance.

So you thought everything went on OKAY right…?

But NOoOoOoOOOOoooo!

You see, having told on Wednesday that my parcel was on Monday’s flight, and will probably reach me latest by next Monday with priority delivery in place, something didn’t feel quite right still, and I decided to call them again after realising nothing was delivered to me today.

I tell you, this paranoia shit is probably BEST for such scenarios.

So, I called Vpost up, and then this time, I was served by yet another customer officer, who put me on hold for more than 5 minutes to retrieve the call logs from before.

She came back, to tell me that she has no visibility on my parcel and couldn’t track for me, and apparently my case was escalated to her superior, and she would get her supervisor on duty to call me back today.

Alarm bells went off.

COULDN’T TRACK?!

I mean, you guys managed to pinpoint it to be on the plane on Monday right, after not able to track it? You mean you then lost sight of it again?!

Okay, but I thought it was cool and thanked her for getting her superior to call me back. Cos, not her fault also, and her previous colleagues who got back to me perhaps didn’t update the system or something.

But I was slightly “Uh-oh” when I realised that they didn’t update the system and lost track of the elusive parcel again.

The supervisor did call me back, and told me that she tried to track, and apparently THERE WAS NO RECORD. So basically, she said she cannot give me an answer if my parcel is already in Singapore or not.

In my mind I was thinking, if it left US by flight on Monday, did it transit somewhere and decide to walk to Singapore instead?!?!

Like, seriously, uhm, cannot check the flight?

So she said she had sent in a request and upped the issue to her superior (wah, if it continue on like that, probably will reach the CEO of Singpost liao!), and escalated the case.

Wait a minute….. if the previous issue was somewhat solved with the parcel being tracked and set flight for Singapore, why is there a need to further escalate the case?!

Nevermind.

She then said she would call me before 6pm to update me on any status and let me know if I will be receiving my parcel “OR NOT”.

What the *beeeeeep* does “OR NOT” mean?

I kept my cool, explained the scenario that the invoice matching was delayed, so was the payment system faulty, and now.. my parcel had reached vpost for almost a month, and when I thought you guys had solved the problem, you guys lost sight of the parcel, AGAIN?

They hor, will always tell you how much they understand. Of course, after hearing how 10247 other people share the same woes, I bet they hear about such incompetency EVERY single day, and “I understand” and “Apologies for that” are their best “taiji” moves.

I hear them say that, I also embarrassed to kick up a fuss, but just wanted at least an answer, you know what I mean? So I said I would appreciate if she would call me back.

So I was rather busy today with Popular’s Bookfest, I told Siren “roarr. Soft roar but still roarrr, but if they don’t call me back by 6pm, I will freaking make sure I RRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAARRRRR!”

We joked, if they don’t call us back, we would then hold a press conference, cos apparently, that was taught by a certain someone that was bound to work, after it worked on a medical case his friend encountered. Though I ain’t sure it is applicable for this case, I can tell you this is almost becoming life-threatening.

So, at 5.45pm, I was getting a little impatient cos they didn’t call back.

5.50pm, I decided to call back and left a message instead.

6pm. Vpost hotline was closed and no one called back.

6.10pm, the call finally came in and she was apologetic for not calling me before 6pm.

I was seriously suspecting that she probably wouldn’t if I didn’t call to leave a message.

She then apologised and…………………………………..

…………………………….

……. told me there was a system error.

And here’s the clincher: MY PARCEL WAS NOT SHIPPED AND STILL IN FUCKING US OF A.

THIS IS THE POINT I GOT SO FRUSTRATED!

I mean, what the fuck is this?! Then why did you guys tell me it was on the plane on Monday?

Was it a phantom parcel that board the plane? Or did my parcel decide to take a return flight cos it has a life of its own?!

I was exasperated, and I told her this is not the way to run your service, especially with so many other users complaining about the same bad service they provided, and we suffered.

They might as well give me my parcel exact location, and I get another courier service to get it to me.

Now, they gave me a timeline, and promised that they are trying to expedite it and perhaps it would reach Singapore by Tuesday or Wednesday, the latest.

SERIOUSLY! You think I am going to believe your bloody fake, hollow, empty promises that hold no weight again?!

Very sad lor! You raised my expectations and then this disappointment is freaking major.

How many chances you bloody want?

Sorry. I mean, how many bloody chances do you freaking deserve?

RRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAARRRRR!

I pointed out that I was told that way before, and then I was even given an exact location of where my parcel was, so were they just LYING to wriggle their ways out of giving their customers an answer?!

So Vpost, you guys are bloody liars too.

And with the excuse given to me earlier on, even if it is a bloody excuse, you guys should be already using the past couple of days trying to locate the damn parcel, and if not, you guys would have realise the damn parcel had not reached Singapore because of your fucked up service!

Then now you tell me it never did go on the plane, then WHAT WAS THAT THING ON THE PLANE ON MONDAY?!

Oh, yah, I forgot, your bloody Vpost lie.

Gee, if Vpost has a gender, it must be a MAN.

Angry like hot potato I tell you!

*Sniff sniff* Why you cheat my feelings like that? Why must you bluff meeeeeeee?

How many orgasms do you want to deprive meeeeeeeeeeeeee?

So I was like worked up but not raising my voice but I just got very exasperated and went, “You know, cannot like that you know.. you all cannot give services like that. It is reflecting very badly of you guys, and I can get at least 10 other feedbacks around me to back up how baaaadd your service is. And I just can’t understand why that you guys have to tell me it was on the plane, that is unacceptable.”

And I don’t know why I was supposed to sound angry, but I just ended up sounding damn sad, like a friend had disappointed me greatly, and I was trying to mean well and make her see the light and getting emotional.

Wait. I still cannot get over this fact: then you tell me my parcel on the plane to Singapore already for what? Hmppphhhffffff.

She repeated the standard script and said she also didn’t know why her colleague said it was on the plane when it was not, and said she probably didn’t “dig further“.

If that was the first level of information available, then who in the first place pointed out my parcel was on the plane?!

Someone had to say it, or there was an indication it was, right?! Why would nothing become something?! Then dig further is, “Parcel boarded plane. Too fat. Overloaded. Plane emergency U-turn. Parcel back in US”?

Someone said I should get the hot pair of brothers from Supernatural to investigate, though I would probably end up telling them to well, uhm, investigate me, and we will all be doing a lot of things that defy nature.

Okay, I digress.

I just want to say, this is just to absurd, and too ridiculous and I am speechless and very exasperated already.

Then I just told her that at the end of it, no one could explain why that there were so many flags raised and then it is only today when they found it to be still in US, unshipped.

And I can’t take her words for it because they basic trust was betrayed after they gave me flimsy excuses time and again.

She said she would update the status on Monday, and would expedite it. I asked what is going to be the difference this time round from the past 2 times.

She almost didn’t want to commit to the timeline of Tuesday and Wednesday.

Then I said I couldn’t possibly take her word for it, cos apparently Vpost is just a disappointing service that shows no capability of keeping to their words.

I seriously wonder if they lost my parcel and refused to admit to it and hoping to buy time to locate it since it DID reach them.

She apologised and said she would get back to me and escalate to her superior to see if she could extend some kind of discount.

Such an insult.

SERIOUSLY?

Don’t tell me you gonna appease me by extending me a discount for your next delivery service, cos I will ask you to shove it up yours as WHO STILL DARE TO USE YOUR SERVICES?!

And what kind of discount? The kind you extend to your credit card alliance also?

I tell you what, waive it, I get another courier service to do it, and perhaps they can show you what REAL postage services should be like.

And you guys delaying it for almost 3 times the usual timeline, so what? You gonna give me 66.66% off?

ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

She was polite, so I had no reason to be angry, though was really pissed when she couldn’t give me an answer why my parcel didn’t get on the plane yet they told me it did.

At the end of it, I am still hum chee, and I didn’t roooaaaaarrrr down the phone, thanked her before she said she would try to call on Monday to update the status.

I ended it off with, “Yes, please do” curtly. I believe I had meant “YOU BETTER DO!”

Before I called Siren to start my conversations with 100 x of “CCB”s.

You tell me, how to believe you like that?

You tell me, which point along the way did you show true sincerity of wanting to remedy this mess?

BUGGERS!

Okay. Rant finish.

Vpost is a man.

Boycott sucky services like these.

I am now just too speechless (duh, though I know from the above rant I probably wasn’t).

Bah.

So they didn’t get back to me today and since some of the orders aren’t mine, I decided to pop Vpost a call this late noon before their office closed because letting others wait, I also kinda feel.. embarrassed about it.

They told me they would call me back. 10 minutes later, they finally called back to tell me they have found my parcel, and apparently, they had only just sent it out on Monday, a good 11 days after they had initially said they had released and sent out.

To remedy it, they said once the parcel reaches Singapore, they will put it on priority delivery.

Here’s the thing. I asked them for a good indication, NOT confirmation I might add, that if priority delivery, given the fact it is already on the plane, what is the timeline I can look at, so at least I can account to others tapping on my order, right?

They refused to do so, because they said just in case there is any delay, don’t want to disappoint me.

Seriously, their promise is 5 to 8 days, and it had been very late. Damage is done, and an answer is better than no answer, right?

I was cordial but frustrated because I know it isn’t the customer service fault, cos it is just that Vpost is sucky, so no point like passing the wrath onto someone who probably doesn’t deserve it.

So I expressed my concern about needing to be accountable to others, and I will appreciate a rough timeline will be good enough. Like, since it is on the plane, say it will take 3-4 working days with priority delivery, or something will do good.

They apologised, and said if it is affecting my business, they are very sorry about it.

IF REALLY IT IS MY BUSINESS AND YOU DELAY, I WILL BE ASKING FOR REFUND OR COMPENSATION FROM THE MANAGER ALREADY!

Eventually, they said it would reach me by Monday.

SERIOUSLY?!

If the parcel was already on the plane on MONDAY, I would suppose it was release last weekend, which would mean, it takes LONGER than their 5-8 days policy to reach me even WITH priority delivery?!

HELLO?! Does it even uhm, make sense?

I just checked. If my parcel reaches me on Monday, it will only be couple of days short of ONE MONTH since the parcel reached Vpost, inclusive of their failure in invoice matching AND the system glitch that made me couldn’t pay earlier PLUS the delivery booboo.

BLUE BALLS OR NOT YOU TELL ME!

RRRROOOOOAAARRR.

So basically, they took twice as long to get my parcel to me. And like that, I can pay only HALF of my Vpost amount or not?

ROOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAARRRRRR I roar somemore I will turn into a werewolf.

Puuuuuuuuuiiii.

Apparently, Siren also had an encounter with Vpost with her VS order, ON THE SAME DAY, and with the twitter replies, apparently Vpost had sucked pretty badly, and it is just natural that I will be very allergic to Vpost from now on, and there will be definitely others who will boycott such ill services.

I think the handling of this issue and other issues faced by others who shared their experiences… it just shows that even though the parcels are “safe” and “trackable”, somewhat eventually, but the delays are support given are quite frustrating, and might not be enough to retain the customers.

Of course, we are just small fries, might not mean much difference to them, and the world will still revolve for them, and other suckers for their poor services.

Wah, somehow very long never rant so negatively about anything already, and this time I think being deprived of my thrill and excitement really got to me, somemore I was supposed to start on something with the loot I am supposed to receive, but oh well.

Giggles, I told Siren, it is almost like being sexually frustrated. If before you feel the feeling of cumming and the guy ejaculated prematurely, you probably feel like… sian and roll over and just resign to your fate.

BUT IF YOU ARE A SPLIT SECOND FROM A MINDBLOWING ORGASM (well, sometimes you just know it) AND THEN HE ENDS THE GAME FOR YOU, YOU TELL ME HOW YOU FEEL?!?!?!

Feel like kicking him off the bed and dulan until cannot dulan right and then if he says a half-hearted sorry, you lagi dulan right? Then even he might not be all that bad in the sack, you will probably be a little cautious to “try” him again.

Okay, nevermind I don’t know where the analogy come from. Hahaha.

I joked to the customer service lady, “Well, you should know, girls are emotional about their shopping…..”

I swear it wasn’t a threat.