Sod it.

Despite the cocktail of potent drugs prescribed by incompetent doc (cannot complain cos FOC), I am still wide awake with this floaty buzz, and I am having this crazy idea to attempt a 2.4km run at this time in the morning (0439). But no, thankyouverymuch, sorry to disappoint, I don’t intend to collapse and drop dead and die with some kind of heart failure or breathing difficulty (flu you know, don’t play play!), so I shall behave myself and stick my arse right before the monitor and rattling on gibberish like I am doing now simply because I am groggy yet my brain refuses to rest.

Gee, did I just cram everything above into one, solid paragraph?

As I was saying, since I am utterly sober, I might as well go on and write about my wonderfantabulousickly Christmas. Nothing special, but just something in me clicked and the stars aligned themselves with the flow of “qi” coincide with the planet of Pluto or something like that, which kinda made me appreciate the simpler stuff and gestures. And when confronted with things head on, eh, I realise things don’t really matter that much anymore.

And I could breathe freely, somewhat. Because I kinda know where my priority lies and sod what others may say or think.

Bring it on baybeh, I say.

Though somewhat I am worried how long this little pleasant bubble will be burst by the hormones, but it had lasted long enough for me to be quite pleased with the little milestone.

It gotta do with no one, but probably myself.

I have met some people I haven’t met though I could have met long time ago, and somehow, that brought the changes, with tiny steps out of the comfort zone.

Okay, that’s the airy head speaking. Ignore me, like totally.

So!

Like I said, Christmas came and went, and perhaps with little expectations, the joy goes a long way with Minibean injecting plenty of life.

I prayed a lot for this Christmas, besides the fact that I pray my bank account will magically replenish itself, I kinda prayed quite a bit for release, for giving, my mum even, and my family. Even for people who don’t matter anymore, and the other who still do matter. For the people who have had it tough in 2009. I even prayed it would be a breeze for me to get through dreadful gatherings or my difficult mum, and somehow really surprising lor! Instead of being defensive and cold, I actually could find myself soften and enjoyed this festive season and was thinking of ways to keep my mum happy.

Like it was a given, not a chore.

Shit. I think the feeling come already. So before I could go on and relate my Christmas and post up the very chui pictures of a sickly, frail, me -insert weak coughs here-, I think I shall crash when the feeeeeeeeling is here.

This kind of feeling is gooooddd… like you wouldn’t want to waste a good orgasm.

What am I saying?

Okay, will continue this post with the pictures tomorrow. I try to wake up early.

Hohoho!

Ho’s before bros! That is damn random and has nothing to do with the abrupt halt to this entry, but that was just something I was reminded of.

Fishy fishy fishy fishy! Here I come (private joke!).