I don’t remember ever having to rant 3 straight posts on how cheesed off I am by pure, ill, substandard services.

But, yeah, here I am.

And you guess it, Vpost is officially on the top of my sucky list, and probably has the WORST service ever.

It is not even the fact that their staff are bad, cos in their defence, they are mostly polite, and calm, though they are always clueless and their firm tones are probably their best weapons to give disgruntled customers a false sense of security and assurance.

So you thought everything went on OKAY right…?

But NOoOoOoOOOOoooo!

You see, having told on Wednesday that my parcel was on Monday’s flight, and will probably reach me latest by next Monday with priority delivery in place, something didn’t feel quite right still, and I decided to call them again after realising nothing was delivered to me today.

I tell you, this paranoia shit is probably BEST for such scenarios.

So, I called Vpost up, and then this time, I was served by yet another customer officer, who put me on hold for more than 5 minutes to retrieve the call logs from before.

She came back, to tell me that she has no visibility on my parcel and couldn’t track for me, and apparently my case was escalated to her superior, and she would get her supervisor on duty to call me back today.

Alarm bells went off.

COULDN’T TRACK?!

I mean, you guys managed to pinpoint it to be on the plane on Monday right, after not able to track it? You mean you then lost sight of it again?!

Okay, but I thought it was cool and thanked her for getting her superior to call me back. Cos, not her fault also, and her previous colleagues who got back to me perhaps didn’t update the system or something.

But I was slightly “Uh-oh” when I realised that they didn’t update the system and lost track of the elusive parcel again.

The supervisor did call me back, and told me that she tried to track, and apparently THERE WAS NO RECORD. So basically, she said she cannot give me an answer if my parcel is already in Singapore or not.

In my mind I was thinking, if it left US by flight on Monday, did it transit somewhere and decide to walk to Singapore instead?!?!

Like, seriously, uhm, cannot check the flight?

So she said she had sent in a request and upped the issue to her superior (wah, if it continue on like that, probably will reach the CEO of Singpost liao!), and escalated the case.

Wait a minute….. if the previous issue was somewhat solved with the parcel being tracked and set flight for Singapore, why is there a need to further escalate the case?!

Nevermind.

She then said she would call me before 6pm to update me on any status and let me know if I will be receiving my parcel “OR NOT”.

What the *beeeeeep* does “OR NOT” mean?

I kept my cool, explained the scenario that the invoice matching was delayed, so was the payment system faulty, and now.. my parcel had reached vpost for almost a month, and when I thought you guys had solved the problem, you guys lost sight of the parcel, AGAIN?

They hor, will always tell you how much they understand. Of course, after hearing how 10247 other people share the same woes, I bet they hear about such incompetency EVERY single day, and “I understand” and “Apologies for that” are their best “taiji” moves.

I hear them say that, I also embarrassed to kick up a fuss, but just wanted at least an answer, you know what I mean? So I said I would appreciate if she would call me back.

So I was rather busy today with Popular’s Bookfest, I told Siren “roarr. Soft roar but still roarrr, but if they don’t call me back by 6pm, I will freaking make sure I RRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAARRRRR!”

We joked, if they don’t call us back, we would then hold a press conference, cos apparently, that was taught by a certain someone that was bound to work, after it worked on a medical case his friend encountered. Though I ain’t sure it is applicable for this case, I can tell you this is almost becoming life-threatening.

So, at 5.45pm, I was getting a little impatient cos they didn’t call back.

5.50pm, I decided to call back and left a message instead.

6pm. Vpost hotline was closed and no one called back.

6.10pm, the call finally came in and she was apologetic for not calling me before 6pm.

I was seriously suspecting that she probably wouldn’t if I didn’t call to leave a message.

She then apologised and…………………………………..

…………………………….

……. told me there was a system error.

And here’s the clincher: MY PARCEL WAS NOT SHIPPED AND STILL IN FUCKING US OF A.

THIS IS THE POINT I GOT SO FRUSTRATED!

I mean, what the fuck is this?! Then why did you guys tell me it was on the plane on Monday?

Was it a phantom parcel that board the plane? Or did my parcel decide to take a return flight cos it has a life of its own?!

I was exasperated, and I told her this is not the way to run your service, especially with so many other users complaining about the same bad service they provided, and we suffered.

They might as well give me my parcel exact location, and I get another courier service to get it to me.

Now, they gave me a timeline, and promised that they are trying to expedite it and perhaps it would reach Singapore by Tuesday or Wednesday, the latest.

SERIOUSLY! You think I am going to believe your bloody fake, hollow, empty promises that hold no weight again?!

Very sad lor! You raised my expectations and then this disappointment is freaking major.

How many chances you bloody want?

Sorry. I mean, how many bloody chances do you freaking deserve?

RRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAARRRRR!

I pointed out that I was told that way before, and then I was even given an exact location of where my parcel was, so were they just LYING to wriggle their ways out of giving their customers an answer?!

So Vpost, you guys are bloody liars too.

And with the excuse given to me earlier on, even if it is a bloody excuse, you guys should be already using the past couple of days trying to locate the damn parcel, and if not, you guys would have realise the damn parcel had not reached Singapore because of your fucked up service!

Then now you tell me it never did go on the plane, then WHAT WAS THAT THING ON THE PLANE ON MONDAY?!

Oh, yah, I forgot, your bloody Vpost lie.

Gee, if Vpost has a gender, it must be a MAN.

Angry like hot potato I tell you!

*Sniff sniff* Why you cheat my feelings like that? Why must you bluff meeeeeeee?

How many orgasms do you want to deprive meeeeeeeeeeeeee?

So I was like worked up but not raising my voice but I just got very exasperated and went, “You know, cannot like that you know.. you all cannot give services like that. It is reflecting very badly of you guys, and I can get at least 10 other feedbacks around me to back up how baaaadd your service is. And I just can’t understand why that you guys have to tell me it was on the plane, that is unacceptable.”

And I don’t know why I was supposed to sound angry, but I just ended up sounding damn sad, like a friend had disappointed me greatly, and I was trying to mean well and make her see the light and getting emotional.

Wait. I still cannot get over this fact: then you tell me my parcel on the plane to Singapore already for what? Hmppphhhffffff.

She repeated the standard script and said she also didn’t know why her colleague said it was on the plane when it was not, and said she probably didn’t “dig further“.

If that was the first level of information available, then who in the first place pointed out my parcel was on the plane?!

Someone had to say it, or there was an indication it was, right?! Why would nothing become something?! Then dig further is, “Parcel boarded plane. Too fat. Overloaded. Plane emergency U-turn. Parcel back in US”?

Someone said I should get the hot pair of brothers from Supernatural to investigate, though I would probably end up telling them to well, uhm, investigate me, and we will all be doing a lot of things that defy nature.

Okay, I digress.

I just want to say, this is just to absurd, and too ridiculous and I am speechless and very exasperated already.

Then I just told her that at the end of it, no one could explain why that there were so many flags raised and then it is only today when they found it to be still in US, unshipped.

And I can’t take her words for it because they basic trust was betrayed after they gave me flimsy excuses time and again.

She said she would update the status on Monday, and would expedite it. I asked what is going to be the difference this time round from the past 2 times.

She almost didn’t want to commit to the timeline of Tuesday and Wednesday.

Then I said I couldn’t possibly take her word for it, cos apparently Vpost is just a disappointing service that shows no capability of keeping to their words.

I seriously wonder if they lost my parcel and refused to admit to it and hoping to buy time to locate it since it DID reach them.

She apologised and said she would get back to me and escalate to her superior to see if she could extend some kind of discount.

Such an insult.

SERIOUSLY?

Don’t tell me you gonna appease me by extending me a discount for your next delivery service, cos I will ask you to shove it up yours as WHO STILL DARE TO USE YOUR SERVICES?!

And what kind of discount? The kind you extend to your credit card alliance also?

I tell you what, waive it, I get another courier service to do it, and perhaps they can show you what REAL postage services should be like.

And you guys delaying it for almost 3 times the usual timeline, so what? You gonna give me 66.66% off?

ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

She was polite, so I had no reason to be angry, though was really pissed when she couldn’t give me an answer why my parcel didn’t get on the plane yet they told me it did.

At the end of it, I am still hum chee, and I didn’t roooaaaaarrrr down the phone, thanked her before she said she would try to call on Monday to update the status.

I ended it off with, “Yes, please do” curtly. I believe I had meant “YOU BETTER DO!”

Before I called Siren to start my conversations with 100 x of “CCB”s.

You tell me, how to believe you like that?

You tell me, which point along the way did you show true sincerity of wanting to remedy this mess?

BUGGERS!

Okay. Rant finish.

Vpost is a man.

Boycott sucky services like these.

I am now just too speechless (duh, though I know from the above rant I probably wasn’t).

Bah.