Archive for November, 2009

Liberated!

The week was wrapped in the best possible way, though nothing quite as special happened, but I would say that it was all the sense of relief that finally liberated me of all the stress and “directionlessness” I have been facing for quite a while.

I do not have quite a way of explaining it, but I am actually looking very forward for the next couple of months to come :)

Returned to work on Friday after my MC, with an early meeting that kicked off the day, and set the quick and pleasant pace for the weekend.

It was strange that I actually could find the bounce back in my steps.

In the afternoon, a nice daisy (?) (I thought it is a Gerbera?) was handed over to me by a colleague and she also passed me a delicious muffin, which I would obviously go for something chocolatey and all!

Muffin was plenty of yums, and the flower brought some cheers and positivity to a long, long day.

As if the acts of kindness wasn’t enough, I received yet another kindness bundle:

I thought kindness day’s flower is daisy (or GERBERAS?!)? Maybe sold out, so have to make do with the cliche roses. I don’t really like pink roses, nor such bundles, so it quickly made its way to under the desk with the basket of white roses (though I thought the yellow straw bag could be use as fashion accessory, but then again…) cos there simply wasn’t space on my desk, nor did I wanna lug it around. The saving grace was the note that accompanied the delivery.

Thanks for the act of “kindness“.

I love the people I work with.

It is just a shame that after a couple of colleagues had left, another 2 colleagues subsequently left, and I know they won’t be the last.

There are some colleagues who will motivate you, and have this infectious passion that I believe is essential for the team to fight and venture on as an entity. And they are the very same people who will offer you a sense of comfort and encouragement that will see you through almost everything.

The group of us headed over to Harry’s just as the day concluded with a light drizzle out there. Beer (orange juice for me), wings, burgers, finger food.

We cheered over clinking glasses, said our well-wishes, and I looked out feeling a sense of loss. This team is a group of tough people, who individually is great achiever in his or her own rights, and people come and go. To them, it should always be that easy isn’t it?

I remember I was bidding goodbye to the already ex-colleague and as I gave her the final hug, I just felt an urge to tear. Then again, it seems a little odd, because such show of emotions is not a norm at where I am in.

I am lousy with goodbye, and that’s why I always wait or push or just go along with the flow, until the end is here.

That explains the buckets of tears when I left my previous company because of the brilliant friendship I have gotten from the lovely people.

From here, I get a lot of guidance, patience and experience from equally fantastic people, but I am not sure about the amount of friendship I would bring along the day I leave.

Having said that, best wishes to you Lynn, and Hanson. May our paths cross again someday.

***

Speaking of an act of kindness, an abrupt call to ask for my full name came in on Friday afternoon in the midst of work sealed my driving test’s fate.

Knowing how much I needed a break and lamenting for one, I was gifted with a trip, one I am not so keen, but…. oh well, I couldn’t refuse however much I tried, so… I got tired of refusing and just leave everything to be planned for out of my hands.

It is going to be a cruise (yawns, I really don’t know why, but I am so NOT a cruise person, unless you are telling me liveaboard) that will last -gasp- 5 days 4 night, and we would head to Phuket, Langkawi, Kuala Lumpur before returning to Singapore.

Charissa will be coming along, and it costs more than $1600 for the both of us to head for the Royal Caribbean cruise.

I was wondering if I would get the chance to go for a quick dose of diving or not. I doubt so, but I think at least I can show Minibean elephants or something.

I am not keen cos I believe the moolah could be put to better use, and of course, I could have head to other places which I haven’t visited before. And because I am not someone who can just do the resort-ish kinda thing, unless it is program packed enough for me to try out things and not let me chill by the pool/sea. This time, with Minibean, I would be the watch-guard most of the time, I believe.

Oddly enough, it will be exactly a year since my Phuket trip when I return again.

Well, at least I could resend a postcard to Minibean this time, since the one I sent earlier this year has yet to reach me.

Just hope that I don’t get bored and while my time away in the casino and ended up having to pawn my precious.

It should be a good break that I am looking forward to :)

***

Somehow the cruise trip doesn’t seem enough, for me at least.

I feel the need to go somewhere, and I know I have been repeating this for the longest time. I am thinking of leaving the region at least 4 times next year, exploring the cities I have yet to step foot into.

It was strange that I dreamt I was in some European country yesterday, and I was just exploring on my own, backpacking and just indulge in the experiences, checking in and out of bed and breakfasts (thank goodness I wasn’t dreaming about haunted rooms after watching Paranormal Activity). I woke up feeling so satisfied and happy, like duh!

***

I got back home on Friday evening, just happy to indulge in me-time of watching CSI, and I really enjoyed the episodes of the newest seasons’ trilogy, which provided much comic relief.

I tried to watch Lie to Me, but ended up dozing off with my glasses on and only realised it when I woke up briefly at 6am.

Cosied myself up in bed in the awesome weather till it was late noon, and reluctantly got up to finish off the episode of Lie to Me I had conveniently neglected with my sleepyhead.

Finished off the CSI trilogy before getting dressed for a night out at Dempsey.

***

Speaking of act of kindness, a friend of mine just returned from London, and brought along these for me!

The week has a spark in it, just because of the excitment injected in by this sleek, black, paperbag.

Believe me when I say I have had hoped it is a 2.55 in large, but I would be pushing my luck a tad too far.

Let the revelation begin!

It comes in a pretty, nicely wrapped box.

I can’t emphasize again how much of a sucker I am for immaculately-packaged goodies.

You could give me a pack of peanuts, but if it is wrapped in so much thoughts, I bet I would be equally thrilled.

Stripping it of its lace.

Tadang.. getting closer to what it is.

And…. yes, a pair of Chanel studs which I had been meaning to get… since, uh, a year and half ago!

I remember walking in Chanel to look for this pair which costs over 400 buckeroos in the boutique, and had to put my name down to join the tonnes of other names on the waiting list.

I even saw an ex-boyfriend’s name on it!

Eventually I bumped into him and apparently they did call him but they never did contact me and I had conveniently forgot about it.

So!

Just incredibly happy that I have this pair of earrings which I could wear for formal events to come (ya, I know many fakes out there but then again, nice what!), and they are just the right size and look lovely.

I happily wore them out for the dinner at Dempsey on Saturday evening.

On the way to Dempsey, and the decorated Orchard Road makes me feel a sense of… of… I don’t know, you know the sense of innocence, and that childlikeness.. like everything wows you and gives you that simplest joy and pleasure?

Yeap, that was what I felt.

And dinner time!

Dinner at Jumbo! I was acutely aware of the weight I put on. Wearing the dress from the 2nd blogshop I ordered from.

Fabulous food, and the pepper crab was ordered cos I preferred pepper crab over the chilli crab others like.

A pincer is good enough to appease me.

Yums to the yam-scallop thingy and I love the greens!

Must be smart to wear the bib especially the klutz in me would ruin a white dress is a matter of seconds.

And my fringe is getting too long for my liking. I had wanted to trim them 2 weeks ago but was just too busy when I am not lazy and lazy when I am not busy.

That’s how irritating my fringe is these days.

Besides pincer, my favourite part of the crab!

Shaggy caught unaware with a half-hearted sign.

Dessert was my favourite yam paste! It wasn’t too sweet that will make you sick of it soon, and neither was it too thick. It was smooth and though I thought I would be too full to finish it, I found myself wanting another bowl!

Of course, for the sake of my girth, I didn’t.

We ladies took a walk opposite to the grocer opposite though it was almost 11pm.

And it is a charming little shop which I remember having lunch meetings at in the past.

It just feels… like an experience just to be inside here.

The cooking books in the midst of grocery.

What am I browsing?

Cupcakes! I was tasked to make cupcakes for Christmas, and I found them very brave to suggest me doing so.

Getting some Turkish Delight.

Soon after, it was a mad rush to Jurong Point for Paranormal Activity.

***

Some other things I did over weekend:

And did I mention that I will probably have to be a no-show after my trip clashes with the date.

Might as well, or else imagine how much of a hazard it will be for others.

***

Spent the night reading up stuff, and not sure of the other things I did, but it was just plenty of no-stress activities, and daydreaming of the next risk I shall be plunging myself into.

Life should always be this good :)

Little acts of kindness

I found my roots….

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The good ol’ days of 93.3fm are regularly substituted by retro-ish Class 95 these days with the flood of bubblegummy POP singers who are often too saccharin sweet for my liking.

I do enjoy my cheenah songs, especially those classic ones from my era.

Not forgetting how Chinese is still very much the language I am much more comfortable with.

It started on a Thursday more than a week ago, when I lamented how I need to croon to those songs that accompanied me through my secondary school and even UK days.

And on Tuesday, we headed to Marina Square for the much needed dosage of shrilling into the microphone, or even bouncing on the couch forcing my lungs out for 6, straight hours.

Revisiting those songs that evoked those growing up memories. Oh man. Gee.

And because I mentioned some of the songs I have been searching for, this is what I got! Such plenty of luuurrrrrvveeeee. :)

Thank you, love, for making emo cheenah songs become sweet, sweet harpie-ness!

Paranormal Activity

I have to state that I have high threshold for horror movie.

I mean, I am usually hum chee that I will scream, squeal, yelp and watch my middle and index fingers most of the time, but I can always recover the very moment I got out of the cinema.

Like, how I watched The Ring (midnight show, mind you) and then took a bus home, walked the dark lanes before stepping in to take the lift by myself.

You know, you get a little doubts here and there, and you would stand at the corner-est part of the lift, and try not to stare into the mirrors (Dammit, my lifts have 3-sided mirrors).

Still, you get on with it, and then by the time you step into the quiet home, have a nice shower, all is forgotten?

Seriously, after watching Paranormal Activity, I know why people can either hate it very much, or find it incredibly scary.

Halfway through, I couldn’t stand the suspense and left the cinema to head for the loo.

I can’t quite explain how, what, why and when, it could just be a frustrating wait, but somehow, the after effects actually linger longer than it should.

I was actually a little underwhelmed by the movie, and I could see why people might see it as majorly disappointing, because they are looking for the usual horror-movie rara scream-style, and they might not be accustomed to such subtlety.

In the same way, I don’t know if I liked it, or not.

I didn’t need both hands over my face at all throughout the movie for a change.

But did it get me tensed up with my sense of logic fighting it, hell yeah, it did.

The cinema-goers were mostly laughing nervously, or discussing the movie amongst themselves in the midst of it, and no one seemed too bothered by the chatters, cos those were what eased the suspense of the wait.

And then, I walked out of the cinema pretty alright.

Then came in the middle of the night, and after my dose of Lie to Me, and Bejewelled, I was very, very hungry.

It was 5ish in the morning.

I wanted to head out to the hall, but then suddenly I felt the back of my hair stand (possibly from my own paranoia) thinking of the movie (it sorta makes you feel paranoid about every sound in the house), and then finding myself glued to my bed and monitor without going anywhere.

Then, the pee urge came in. :| And it wasn’t enough to get me out of bed.

And with the pee urge, I couldn’t quite sleep.

It was then 6.45am, with the first lights seeping in, that I gingerly opened the door, listened for any unexplained sounds, before half-sprinting to the toilet that’s like, uh, 5 steps away.

Yay to released bladder!

Walking into walls

What started to be a slight, nagging buzz in the head evolved into a full blown migraine by late evening, and it took a turn for the worse this morning, when I found myself shivering in my sleep and opening my eyes proved to be a challenge when the glare from the daylight triggered more discomfort in the head.

The moment I sat up I felt nauseous and the pain, fuck man, the pain.

I ended up calling in sick.

By noon, it was so bad that when I stood up, the nausea just overwhelmed me. A few steps proved to be a torment, and the hollow feeling (you know how migraine is at one spot? I had 2 spots of pain, one on each side) made me a little incoherant.

Like, I wanted to say delirious, and I typed delicious.

I couldn’t quite stare at the monitor without the glare irritating me.

I walked into the corridor’s wall cos I was quite disoriented.

Like that how to go to the doctor’s?

My incessant whine was hushed when someone whisked me from home and dropped me off at the clinic, and to make my way from the carpark to the clinic was…torturous.

The moment I reached the clinic, I just wanted to lie down on the floor cos it felt so heavy and it was as if I have so much brain that I have to rest it down.

The doctor started the conversation with how sorry she was to call me “Mister”, and went on to dissect my name and why people would mistake it to be a male’s name.

Let’s just say if only the consultation was as long as the discussion about my name.

So. About the chest and heart.

Apparently ECG wouldn’t be good enough, blarblarblar, okay.

Bought Aston’s to line the tummy for Synflex.

Synflex is awwwwwwwweeeesssomeeee.

Someone suggested I go for hormones check cos migraine is usually hormones, or so she said. I joked it must be menopause for me.

Got home the glare made me fall asleep.

Bad move.

Costly trip to the toilet.

Fruitful evening for some work done.

I joked with Claris how it must be the stress from knowing how today I have to meet my boss and the migraine sets in.

***

My colleague mistook me to be another colleague yesterday.

I was trying to steal food from her area, and when she heard my voice, she said, “CANNOT!”.

It was only when she turned and she saw it was me and she said, “Eh! It’s you! I thought you are Hanson (yes, a guy!!), you want to eat? TAKE TAKE TAKE!!!

My lovely colleague is one whom I will miss much, she will always come to my cubicle to make sure I finish the leftovers or whatever snacks she is sharing. Her justification is always that I can afford to do so, and I believe she thought I could save others from obesity by making myself so.

Anyway, I said with mocked horror, “I take offence that you took me for a guy!

You guys sound alike!

Oh dear.

Boohooo.

Mistaken to be a chap for 2 days, one because of my name, another due to my voice, I believe it is God’s wry sense of humour after how I said I would like to be a guy and have a KKJ.

Dinner was a brilliant affair at Pasta Brava even though on my way there I could feel the migraine creeping up.

This time, my appetite was back and I could take on appetiser, main and dessert all at once!

We had soup, carpaccio, ham and melon, the chocolate sirloin, veal and carbonara. The ice-cream with coated chocolate was fabulous but the most charming dish was the lava cake. I have always love lava cakes, but this one is sooooooo rich, yet the chocolate is not sickeningly sweet, and the cake texture was just about right.

The threesome enjoyed our dinner, and thanks Siren for the recommendation, and I have heard nothing but good things from the other 2 food critiques, it does say something about the food there.

Headed over to collect some surprises for myself/others, and had a great evening just cooing over the lovely pieces.

And my other blogshop purchase finally arrived after 3 weeks, and it wasn’t too bad, indeed!

***

Tuesday was Karaoke night with Siren!

We were so cold that our nipples quivered in unison, I tell you!

I was jumping onto the couch and screaming into the microphone while she serenaded me with her charming voice.

We snuck food into the Marina Square’s Kbox, and I bumped into one of my partners who had just became a dad recently.

Congrats!

We were joined by Ed, and I left after crooning from 7pm to 1+am!

Once I upload the pictures, there should be more things for me to write about. :)

***

Oh.

Monday’s poledancing class has left yet another mark, this time on my shin.

I had a fabulous time and there is actually a GMILF in my class.

GMILF = Grandma… well you get the drift.

Gosh!

Anyway, Jiali and I went to SMU Ice-cold beer for chilli and chips, and chatted till late before bidding each other goodnight.

It was a nice night to catch up, and I actually survived without my handphone. So proud of myself!

And we spoke of the chap whom I used to have a 10-year girlie crush on *blush*, and how he should be getting married soon.

Even my first puppy love is married with his son just turning a month’s old.

Gee.

Nevermind. Mine is turning 3. Muahahaha.

Monday night was spent peeling useless McDee’s monopoly tabs. Almost 100 of them. One go.

End results? Mostly the same old same old without any winning tabs, except for some surprises for instant win:

6 apple pies, 1 milkshake, 2 coffees, 1 mcspicy, 1 fillet o fish, 1 pack of small fries, 1 travel monopoly, $10 Toys’ R Us vouchers with $50 purchase, 3 x $3 off petrol, Starcruise voucher which means 3rd and 4th pax travel for free.

I thought my efforts were well worth the Sentosa Cove!

Mysteries of the men’s world

While randomly talking about my penis envy, and how I would want to have a kukujiao so I can be some scrawny, emo-looking Japanese/Korean dude to get myself into the industry of male-whoring hostessing.

I mean, those people probably earn my entire year’s salary in a night!

And because you have a kukujiao, you can be forgiven for all the shit things you do, because that is your get-out-of-jail card to be an asshole.

Life is unfair, as it always is. Sulks.

Like, sulks really baaaaaaaaaaaadddly.

The urge came just as I was talking about it, and I needed to dash to the toilet to pee halfway through the conversation.

I lamented, “Sigh, if only I have a kukujiao, then I can stand, no need to do a half-squat (and risk a potential hamstring pull or something)”

Then I was told, in Japan, there is a slot, just for female.

But but but, can you imagine every potpot going into the same slot? Fine, so I was educated got some personalised pouchy, but still!

Then I reflected still need to pull down panties, kkj can just whip out!

I was then told it isn’t quite true.

My curiosity then questioned, “Not just pull down the front or from the sides or from the little cagey in the boxers meh?

Then I was told. The REAL insights. The things I don’t see.

So apparently, there are many guys, in the public washrooms, who like to unbelt, unbutton, unzip, and then pants down to knee, underwear down to knee, and ass cheek smiling to the world………… to pee.

I was honestly flabbergasted to find out, and feel how it is just so.. ridiculous?!

I MEAN, SERIOUSLY?!

NECESSARY OR NOT?

Imagine those strip to ankle ones, their pants will touch the ground, eeeee yeeeeerrrr.

And apparently, a large number of guys do that! Mostly are yuppies, young or middle-aged…. those any other him you see on the road, or you might even flirt a little with in the clubs.

My fantasy was just dashed by the conversation.

I mean, why you need to expose your butt cheeks to the world?! Can someone enlighten me?! And after dating guys for years, and sometimes watching them pee, I thought I know everything about your species!

Maybe I really need a kkj to see why must show butt cheeks when peeing.

I am very riled up, really!

And since there are many people out there who does it, may I throw this question to the guys, “WHY AH? CAN YOU ENLIGHTEN ME?” I need some answers for closure.

I thought I know men, but I am so disappointed with myself for having no answers for this.

It was suggested to me to install a webcam so I can observe how men pee cos it is very entertaining. Giggles. I feel like a pervert now. But having men as lab rats… nice!

And why ah? Need to support arm on the wall because the thing too big?!

As I was educated by this, which the man in the convo can’t provide me with any answers, he told me of this incident just last week.

So Mr WIP was peeing at the urinal and an Indian chap walked in, and in his peripheral vision, and saw a damn bloody long black floppy thing.

He was wondering how can be so long one, so he finally couldn’t resist the temptation to turn to look.

Then he realised it was just the belt of the same colour, that angle, the length, and hangs there like a bendy dick.

I laughed at him and say that he is a cock-starer, that’s why he says cannot name him.

Okay.

I need answers!!

HTC Tattoo event

It was an unexpected invite from an events company to attend the mobile phone launch, and being tempted by the “free food” tag, I found myself heading down to the event, with Yunfeng being my companion for the evening.

I had earlier stopping by Jacki‘s to discuss some plans, though it was way to brief to be making anything substantial, but nonetheless, his expertise did trigger some thoughts enough for me chew on for the evening.

Took a brisk walk over to One Fullerton from his office, which brought me past the entire stretch of Boat Quay, and into Fullerton Hotel, where I got a little lost.

And then, I saw a familiar face, before being directed to the escalator.

I had asked Yunfeng along after he had meant to pass me my policy, which thankfully got incepted without much incident this time round.

We sat along the bay front, catching up a little before we queued for entry.

Of course, I was just hungry and needed food.

And he sat too far away for a proper picture to be taken. Bah.

It was certainly weird to be addressed as “Blogger” here, “Blogger” there, cos I am just your regular bored, working adult, happening to look for a voice on the internet.

We were asked to sign on the board, and I realise later on, upon reviewing the pictures, what have the recent food-bingeing been doing to my arms.

I was asked not to sulk, so a forced smile, it shall be.

I wasn’t expecting to bump into familiar faces, but before my virgin entry to Butter Factory, I did!

Andrew! The cool, talented eye-candy who is the club’s resident deejay and marketing manager.

He is one of the nicest chaps you will ever meet, and he is awesome in what he does. I remember we did an event before, and he went all out to help, and at the same time, did a great job.

It says something about the event when I realised the only thing worth taking pictures of was the evil rabbit and the view from inside the club.

The flash mob routine put up by the HTC team.

For their rebranding, as well as the launch of the new HTC Tattoo.

Free spray-on tattoo for the event, though the little android turned out unexpectedly jaundiced under the flash. The fabulously friendly lady was sporting enough to become my hand model, thank you whoever you are!

Another surprise when I bumped into Candice, who probably started the entire chain of surprise for me.

I got myself a mandatory “YOU” before I could choose to have a pussy on my neck.

My companion who was probably bored through the evening holding food for me when my hands were too full.

“HELP ME GRAB ONE OF THOSE FROM THE PLATE!” I would command.

The canapes were often finished before we could help ourselves to them, and then we found a quiet corner to stand, which was the cleverest place to be at:

The route the servers took to replenish their trays, and then only to be ambushed by us before they could go on to other guests.

I giggled everytime when I realise how well my scheming little trick was getting us food.

Just when I was getting slightly bored, and we were ready to leave, I saw Candice sitting down and joined the hot mama.

We were just catching up and taking pictures, speaking of random topics, as I saw Yunfeng and her male companion yakking away.

So we girlies just entertained ourselves by taking pictures!

It was getting a lil cold and then as I looked up to see Yunfeng and Candice’s male friend making a decent conversation, and exchanging numbers, I silently gossiped to myself how gay it seemed.

As I joined in the conversation with the both of them standing up and me sitting down, Yunfeng exclaimed to me, “You know he was my classmate from Chinese High?

I was utmost surprised, cos that name was quick to evoke enough memories… of people from the past.

Apparently, Yunfeng was pretty bored, and just thought of striking a conversation and then when the guy spoke, his low baritone, yet high pitch voice was distinctive enough to trigger some recollections, which prompted him to ask, “Are you Kim Seng?

Turned out he isn’t. Kim Seng was Yunfeng’s primary school mate, who went to same Secondary school with me, and that name rung a bell, and he does share some resemblance to him.

Kim Teck,” turns out the mistake wasn’t quite that much a mistake, Kim Teck was his classmate from secondary school.

So of the twists of mistakes, it still fits into the puzzle, and what we have here was their mini reunion.

I asked which class they were from, and they mentioned 4H, which I was starting to think that I do know someone from there, yet I couldn’t even vaguely remember who.

They then recited some names of their ex-classmates and people they still kept in contact with. Their CCA, and some common friends we shared.

And they were then reciting people from my school, and then just as they were reciting, recalling, I saw a figure walking past them.

Just then, a memory was jolted awake. I waved to stop them in their tracks (since they were standing), and I started frantically asking, “You all know Sunny? From Chinese High one??”

Yeah, we know Sunny, they were saying.

Then as the figure whisked pass them, he turned and our eyes met. I wasn’t sure if it was one of recognition, and I wasn’t sure if I got the wrong person.

He gave a polite, subtle smile, and I thought maybe he did recognise but just, didn’t want to acknowledge?

Or maybe he had thought it was just some event people.

Or maybe I knew him from somewhere else.

Yadda yadda.

Then he turned away.

Then I asked again, “EH YOU ALL KNOW SUNNY?” I pointed and they were like pretty impatient, “YAH LAH, we know Sunny!“.

Then I realise they thought I was just asking if they know Sunny since they were reciting the namelist.

NOOOOOOOOO! YOU KNOW SUNNY? That guy looks like Sunny!

I wasn’t asking if they know Sunny per se, but okay, fine, in my amazement-fuelled panic, I had wanted to point them to look in the direction but instead, well, kept asking if they know which Sunny I was talking about.

They turned and looked in the direction I was pointing and the chap was now turning in the other direction, and it was only backview they saw.

Then a look of incredulity spreaded across their faces, “Eh, look like hor, a bit leh!” as we stared and bowed our heads to discuss.

It couldn’t be, right? The coincidence couldn’t be that great.

Sunny was exactly the guy whom I was thinking about from their class, just that I couldn’t recall who.

Then, as the chap turned his head to us, he looked at these 3 idiots staring at him, and was looking a tad uncomfortable from the attention. There was no look of recognition. Wrong person, perhaps.

Just then, Kim Teck the brave, decided to raise his hand up slightly to “test water”.

The moment he did so, a flash of surprise litted up the chap’s face, and he went “EH!

At that very instance, all 3 of us, went, “OHHHHHH MYYYY GOOOOOOOOOODDD, it’s him!”

What are the chances, that I was trying to recall the person, and these 2 guys just recounting their ex-classmates, and this guy, a common friend to all 3 of us,  appeared?!

The ex-classmates from TCHS 4H 1997.

I haven’t seen him since 1999, and he had sent me to the airport when I flew to UK, and even Jiali did remember him.

Alas, I was there, and as he acknowledged the other 2, he had totally forgotten about me, before I mentioned about the test tube gift he sent me, and the letters.. and he went, “Huiting!

Okay. Then why did he smile as if he knew me?

Oh, no, I was just checking you out, hahahaha!

Nahbeh.

As we caught up, I joked about how he had put on weight, Yunfeng said he had maintained, and Kim Teck commented he had lost a bit.

Giggles.

I remember back then when Yaolong, Meiyi and Sunny used to stay over at my place, and we even played mahjong.

Apparently he has became his own boss, doing handphone applications, and changed his name to Darius, cos during his stint in US, Sunny is a girl’s name.

By then, the event was drawing a close, and Sunny, Yunfeng and me left together.

We adjourned elsewhere to catch up and were thinking about heading back to west side, but when we reached the cab stand, then did he speak up that he was riding, that drew dagger stares from Yunfeng and me that he didn’t say so earlier.

We ended up at Starbucks and tried catching up with what happened in the past decade.

It was nice.

Very nice.

The coincidence was just… too… awesome, and creepy at the same time.

But that’s the beauty of coincidences.

He was a good friend, and like a patient brother with an old soul.

I could even remember his birthdate as we sipped tea and coffee by the bay.

They said the 2 of them taking picture is quite gay.

It was midnight when we finally bade each other goodbye and making loose promises of catching up.

But it was good.

Very good in fact.

It is always moments and people like that makes me feel.. like I could find traces of the self I miss so much again.

And it has been a decade.

***

Was looking out of the window today and saw nothing except for a veil of white.

The rain was so heavy that the building next to my office was well hidden behind the pouring rain.

I felt a great urge to head down for a break, and as I did, looking out into the furious rain, I could feel the fine droplets making an impression all over me.

Suddenly, I thought of the familiar feeling of how in the thick, white uniform, and yellowed canvas shoes, with a waterproof bag, I skipped myself into the rain with another classmate, and get ourselves drenched within seconds in such rain.

We hopped onto puddles of water, craned our necks and faced up to the rain and waiting for the next bus that would chill our assess off, especially if it was air-conditioned, or add to the smell of dampness in the air of a non-air conditioned bus.

I thought of the office air-con, my socks, my Nikes, and the potential prunish toes, and most importantly, the curious stares from colleagues, I stopped myself in the tracks before I find myself dancing in the rain again.

It was a nice feeling, and it was a good break. :)

Pasta Brava

A drizzly  Thursday evening was filled with so much hormones that the only place I could find solace in, was Siren’s office.

I don’t know why, I just was in a great urge to burst out crying at work, which I did.

And then, the moment I spotted the scarlet mess, I actually was feeling freaking relieved, as if my moodiness found the reason and solution at the same time.

As we strolled down the street to the nearby Pasta Brava, which is my newest Italian food find, thanks to Siren, we spoke of relationships, Europe, and Victoria’s Secret.

The topics came up fast and furious, and I found my abdomen discomfort stopping me from gorging the yumbulous food Pasta Brava has to offer.

Romanced by a lady, and I brought something to the table when I called my parents to find they were just down the street.

The little one joined us for dinner, and she went easy on the ice-cream much to my amazement.

I shall not mention the things I did.

The music. The dancing.

The emo cheenah songs.

The racequeen outfits. Giggles. I like the long-sleeved, midriff, shorts one.

The things I “bring to the table”.

Endless topics spanning from 15 years ago.

Europe.

Chanel.

Salsa.

Pole-dancing.

One minute men.

Small, flaccid, dicks.

Vibrators.

Average of 4 inchers and getting hugs for that. Thanks for the consolation.

The heels.

Fucking annoying, scary roaches.

The “orgy” when someone bailed out when his girlfriend was picking him up.

Charlotte is now working in her company, speaking about how small the world is.

The sleepy man.

Guy-bashing.

The coincidence, that is too much of a coincidence.

River Valley.

Pain-tolerance.

People in our lives.

Meeting new people. It was a pleasure, Ed.

I didn’t even realise by the time we called it a night, it was 2am.

And it still reminded me of a night of singing “Wu Ding” and wondering when we will be heading to the KTV so we could jump onto the couch with our heels and croon to those sappy songs.

It was a pleasure babe. Indeed it was.

And I can’t say enough how I am still buzzing from the high from my Victoria’s Secret shopping spree.

All sale items! Wooohooo! New tops, new dresses, new undies.

My Christmas pressie to myself.

And the burst of yummy colours.

Can’t wait.

I blame Siren for being such an evil influence.

Of doing nothing and everything

It seems like I did nothing, yet I did everything for the past week.

As I finished with my Victoria’s Secret shopping, and preparing myself and my lacklustre wardrobe for the holiday season, the little one couldn’t stop disrupting the session, nor could she stop getting her hands busy with my keyboard.

Yet, she would turn to me and make me kiss her, and when I lamented that I was hungry, she picked up her milk bottle, which she had just emptied, and with plenty of gusto, headed out of the room, declaring, “Mummy hungry! I make milk for mummy!

How to be angry with her for long?

And now she is mimicking my typing next to me on her very noisy toy laptop which is playing the melody to “Mary had a little lamb”.

Today was spent waking up to the lovely grey skies, cooling weather, and passing by the BBQ pit by the pool and see a group of yummy, well built young men having a gathering.

Had dinner at Buona Vista, and my friend asked, “What do you do on weekends huh?”.

I thought hard, it was as if I did nothing, but yet plenty of things, to the point I can’t seem to even start on my book.

Strange as it sounds, I feel as if I haven’t had enough time to finish what I set out to do for the weekend, and am looking forward to the next to accomplish so.

We headed up to Kent Ridge park to look at the “escape vehicle” in the form of the display tank. Chilled for a while before we headed home.

***

Saturday was great. Got plenty of rest after dozing off on Friday night while watching CSI Miami. So I managed to catch up with it on Saturday.

Awesome. :)

Watched This is it, and chomped down dinner over movie. Hot dog, nachos and pop corns. Watching movie can be extremely expensive, with the food and tickets totalling to over fifty bucks. Seriously?!

Headed to NTUC for a minishopping trip and I was pretty amazed with how many people are into late-night shopping.

And I bumped into Xiuzhao and her “2 people”, and I really did find my soda syrup at the aisle she pointed to me to. By the time I turned back, they already walked off and didn’t manage to catch up much. But it was certainly nice. Like, somehow… feeling warm and fuzzy to bump into them after not seeing them for quite some time.

What did I say about people from my past.

One from 15 years, and her “2 people” from 10 years ago.

I feel like a teenager all over again these days when I chanced upon these people.

And the reason I get so sentimental, is because they were people who definitely went beyond being mere acquaintances.

***

Just had my McDee’s delivered and the little one tried to wrestle my food off me because we didn’t want to hide away and sneaky sneaky eat supper, so we did it blatantly in front of her, and deny her fries and sugared-drinks.

I have to cut down my sugared drinks intake man.

***

Friday evening was one that wrapped up the work week with another session of high-tea, this time at Goodwood Park Hotel, and the standard is very mediocre.

I think scones and tea will do very fine for me next time instead of stuffing myself silly just because I didn’t have lunch.

Got home with my housemate just heading out, and I had wanted to snap a few pictures of him cos I have had requests to post more pictures of him.

He was out today for competition so I didn’t manage to take any over the weekend.

SOON, I PROMISE!

***

Small things like being told my package is mailed out and will be reaching me soon is making me happy like a birdie!

***

I had an enjoyable Thursday evening after a bad start to the day, and maybe I will write more about it next.

What did I say about blast from the past. People from more than a decade ago, slowly surfacing.

***

I just made milk for the lil one and she is trying to make me drink from her bottle cos I was complaining I was hungry.

But I had McDee’s!

Though she annoyed me when she relentlessly asked for the fries, which I had refused her, but it was just utterly sweet of her to share hers when she was finally allowed to have ONE last fry.

Do I have to face Monday so soon already?

And you should be sleeping, little one, not terrorising your poor mummy here!

This shouldn’t be it

This is it, here I stand
I’m the light of the world, I feel grand
Got this love I can feel
And I know yes for sure it is real

And it feels as though I’ve seen your face a thousand times
And you said you really know me too yourself
And I know that you have got addicted with your eyes
But you say you gonna live it for yourself.

I never heard a single word about you
Falling in love wasn’t my plan
I never thught that I would be your lover
C’mon baby, just understand

This is it, I can say,
I’m the light of the world, run away
We can feel, this is real
Every time I’m in love that I feel

Michael Jackson “This Is It” Lyrics

And I feel as though I’ve known you since 1,000 years
And you tell me that you’ve seen my face before.
And you said to me you don’t wnat me hanging round
Many times, wanna do it here before

I never heard a single word about you
Falling in love wasn’t my plan
I never thught that I would be your lover
C’mon baby, just understand

This is it, I can feel
I’m the light of the world, this is real
Feel my song, we can say
And I tell you I feel that way

As I watched the movie, besides being impressed, I was utterly, utterly, moved.

I didn’t know what to expect from the film, but perhaps was thinking people might rain praises on the deceased, just because it was the right thing to do.

There were moments when I was moved beyond words. Perhaps, there was a magical feel to it, like having a voyeurism fetish fulfilled.

Maybe it was that curiosity, of getting to know an almost mystical persona on a deeper level, to be reminded of his talent, which was overshadowed by the relentless ridicules, speculations, sensationalisations, and physicians’ works.

Many people said they were surprised by how… normal he was.

I was just impressed by how…. devoted, sensual, and passionate he was. There was an surprise element of intimacy, which I believe wouldn’t be possible with just anyone.

It could be just because that, I was deeply moved by this man’s talent, this man’s passion which the world had long forgotten.

It could be just because that, at the back of my mind, I was reminded that I was watching a man’s journey to his end, as he inched towards his eventual untimely death.

And this documentary, was one set out to realise the unfulfilled dreams of not only Michael Jackson, but the bright-eyed folks who were one way or another, looking for their chances to shine.

This is your chance to shine, go on! We’ll be right there with you,” encouraged the King of Pop, when he had finished his singing, and he went on to gave his suggestion on how the young girl with the guitar could go on improving.

Of course, if you are somewhat cynical, you can’t ignore the fact that it also realised the dream$ of the hungry vultures in the form of AEG Live. But hey, the film would be one the world would like to see, and I believe, MJ would have wanted it to be the final gift. And it was tastefully done to do somewhat some poetic justice.

There was appreciative claps at the end of the film, perhaps because, they saw the love, the passion in the perfectionist who was gone too soon.

I was truly, truly fascinated. It was almost like a trip to the Disneyland. I don’t know how to explain the feeling.

It would have been a magnificent show, and I was glad there were footages like these for us to use our imagination to paint the frills to the what could have beens.

I was just slightly disappointed without hearing Heal the World nor You are not alone.

There were moments.

Like whenever he sang LIVE and it just blew me away… I would have thought, most would be lip-synched, but this man is all about quality. I thought I would hear him panting away with his voice cracking in between breaths, and screaming for an oxygen mask or something for his age. No, his voice was bloody AMAZING.

From the smallest element of how each instrument should accompany him, he was there to give his gentle input.

He was there to have fun like a little kid when he was on the cherry picker.

And the part when I thought he was singing brilliantly and he was apologising he was conserving his voice, and asked for understanding.

And there was the part he told everyone not to “force” him to sing all out (cos he was conserving his voice). Though there weren’t audience, the crew were all engaged by his sheer talent, and he felt compelled to perform for them.

He was surprisingly engaging for someone who the world had assumed to be totally detached from reality.

That little smile when the lights faded out for “They don’t really care about us”.

And how the dancers put their hands in the air when he sang “I’ll be there”, it was almost irresistable for me to put my hand in the air to do so.

And his hands. I don’t know why, I was just drawn to watching his hands.

It was a group dream to be made into reality. If you just feel the team spirit, everyone’s heart and sweat in it… it is just a shame that the world had to miss it, but was lucky enough to catch a clear glimpse of it through This is it.

The moment he charmed everyone with his moment of Billy Jean.

I believe the moment he moonwalked while singing Billy Jean decades ago, was the moment he triggered the dream in every dancer-wannabe.

And there was magic in the air as the dancers watched him, even though they were not part of it, like they were in many other instances.

It was like watching their hero, and they all look like children… again.

An icon shining on the stage where he belonged.

Even though it was of his rehearsals, I believe his rehearsals’ quality blatantly outshine the quality Live concerts of artistes these days.

He didn’t even cut corners with his rehearsals, asking for repeats, saying that’s what rehearsals are for.

Music is truly in his blood and to see his creativity at work was intoxicating.

I can’t say amazing enough.

And oh man, those moves. I was prepared to feel uneasy with awkward moves, but I forgot to pick up my jaw with Billy Jean, which I believe those who were there would have felt the same way.

Of his passing, there were many reports, but here’s one from the dancer:

Dancer recalls Michael Jackson’s last day of life.

The pop legend that Daniel Celebre rehearsed with gave no hint that he’d be dead within a day

What was Michael Jackson’s state of mind 13 hours before he was pronounced dead?

“He was happy, he was smiling, he was laughing with us,” remembers Daniel Celebre, who was a principal dancer in the superstar’s This Is It comeback tour.

Celebre had been rehearsing with Jackson in Los Angeles “for three months, eight hours a day and he always danced full out. His energy was amazing, man.”

In fact, on June 24, the last day of Jackson’s life, director Kenny Ortega staged the show and “we ran through the whole thing and finished at about 1:30 in the morning,” Celebre, a dancer based in Toronto, recalled in an interview yesterday at the midtown BDX dance studio.

“The feeling was unbelievable. Michael was at the top of his game. People who had known him for years said he’d never danced better.

“We even ran `Thriller’ for the first time in costume and the people from wardrobe were in the audience crying. They told us `You guys don’t understand how amazing it looks.’”

When asked if Jackson seemed tired or under strain, Celebre shook his head emphatically. “Every day he looked fly, but that day, he was better than ever. He looked young, man. His form was so perfect.”

Every evening Jackson and the dancers would say goodnight to each other. That night was no exception. “We always hugged. I said `Hey Mikey, I love you,’ and he said, `I love you too, bro.’”

And that’s the last Celebre ever saw of Jackson.

The next day is a hard one for the 24-year-old to remember, because it ended a longtime dream.

Celebre was born in Nobleton, Ont., from “a large and close-knit Italian family.” His mother took him to jazz and tap lessons at the age of 4. Soon he was into hip hop, breakdancing and his favourite, electric boogaloo, “which I tried to do just like Michael Jackson.”

He did lots of club, promotional, TV and movie work, playing opposite Hilary Duff as the dance double for the male lead in the climactic scene of The Lizzie McGuire Movie when he was only 18.

But in 2007, “I stopped dancing, for personal reasons. I wanted to be the best dancer I could be and all people wanted were the stunts I could do. `Can this guy spin on his head? Can he do the flip?’ Of course I could, but I knew I could be so much more than that and so I just walked away.”

His father had taken over La Salumeria, the Italian deli on Yonge near Davisville, so Celebre joined him there. On April 10, he was “slicing some mortadella” when he got a call from his agent in California.

“I know you’ve been turning down every job I’ve offered you for two years, but you always said the only person you’d come back for is Michael Jackson. Well, you’ve got an audition for him tomorrow. Get out here.”

At first, Celebre resisted, but his father said, “Daniel, you’re going on the plane tomorrow. Hurry up.”

He was giddy with excitement, rather than nail-bitingly nervous.

“Everybody else on the line was stressing out. I just kept dancing. `What are you nervous about, people?’ I’d tell ‘em. `This is Michael. Let’s have fun.’”

They whittled the dancers from 500 to 250 and finally to 10. After he made the last cut, he met Jackson.

“I shook his hand. It was huge, man. He had the glasses, the hair, the black suit. We stood there and I thought, `You’re nothing but love, man.’”

Celebre loved the rehearsals and hard work that made everybody better and better. And then came June 25.

“We were all sitting in our dressing rooms, ready to start rehearsals. I was watching a clip of Mikey doing `Ease on Down the Road’ from The Wiz on my computer.

“We never had the TV on, but somebody had put it on ’cause Farrah Fawcett had just passed. Then we started to get the news about Mikey…. People were running down the halls screaming. Some fell to their knees. Everybody was crying. Everybody.”

The rehearsals were filmed and will now be released as the much-anticipated movie This Is It on Oct. 28, but Celebre hates recalling the funeral, the memorial, “all those things that rub my nose in the fact that he’s gone.”

Celebre prefers to recall the first day of rehearsal.

“He told us he was taking us on an awesome adventure … and he did.”

The energy came from passion, because I believe no amount of painkillers could fuel such… ironic as it sounds, life.

Alas, however big this film be, it could never be the epic the genius architect could well be accomplishing.

And try as you might, there will be moments you find yourself blowing away the sugar-coating, to see the reliance on the painkillers, the torment of pain and the constant need to fend off people out to exploit him, and living a life of never to be understood.

Hi-tea Sunday

Last weekend was one of good food.

It started with entertaining some US guests on a rainy Saturday evening, and a filling dinner at Oscar’s, and speaking of funny airline stories since one of the guests is an air-stewardess.

We also laughed over raccoon stories, and how they witnessed a pair of dating raccoons which went on to spawning in their backyard.

It was later adjourned to outdoor, sitting in the damp, moist night, over Earl Grey and coffee, and a delicious plate of ice-cream.

Sunday was back to Conrad Hotel, though this time round, it was high-tea. I can’t believe how some people have the luxury to do so every afternoon, though I must admit, it sure is a way to enjoy life by slowing its pace and enjoy sinful, sweet pastries.

I love the big plush chairs.

I love the scones and lemon bread.

Love the sandwiches, though I didn’t manage to down much cos I was feeling kinda sick on a Sunday, of all daysss!!!

Ham sup uncle Edy!

Feels like Mother’s Day.

Victoria!

And the 2 edys:

Such a cute, perfect match.

Lovely.

Okay, today is a day I don’t feel like talking much yet.

I am done with this post.

-Takes a bow-