Archive for July, 2009

Closer

I decided I like the movie when the haunting melody of “The Blower’s Daughter” led me into the opening.

The attractive cast of Clive Owen, Jude Law, Natalie Portman and Julia Roberts certainly did add charm into the movie.

But most importantly, was the underlying theme of “truth“(or alternatively, you can view it as “deception”) in this movie adaptation of a successful English theatre play, though some of the elements were majorly different, and therein hides the little cleverness hidden behind easily-missed significance.

It is a film about strangers.

Hello, stranger.

A new life, a new name, a new city/country, a new face in the crowd. A stranger. Loved like never before. Until the point a part of you died.

“Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off—but it’s better if you do”

4 years later, he has never known you.

Yet, you aren’t who you are. You are just a person who took on an identity from a random moment of serendipity. Or maybe, you didn’t want to be a stranger, but just that no one cared enough to find out.

Was the life before that 4 years your reality, or was that 4 years your reality? Or was that one night, the one night where 2 lost hearts met, that you finally get to be who you are, albeit masked with frivolous seriousness.

When you get back to the real life you had, you became another stranger in your own country, and what awaited you, was a fate that holds no future.

The irony.

It closes with my favourite Damien Rice’s song, like the way it started.

At the end of it, just another stranger.

***

It has been 2 weeks since I last spent a weekend like this, not venturing any further than my bed, and having some marvebulous rest.

Napped till evening, woke up to watch some videos, had dinner, and watched a very talented young miss displaying her emotional blackmailing skills.

Snapped on my retainers and hopped into bed and watched Closer. Then couple of episodes of Nanny.

And I fell asleep early again, before woken up by a bout of ache and cold sweat at 8ish, drifted in and out of consciously till 10ish.

And I believe this is one of the earliest Sundays I have had, operational ready after my daily HK, local, UK, US news updates (yeah, always in that sequence) as I planned a few work items for today.

How did my weekend disappear so quickly?

Ice age

It was a strange, strange Friday.

Unfortunately for me, the days of me locking myself out of my own blog and ended up not being able to update most things at the fastest instance, kinda dampen the enthusiasm a little.

It was a long, long meeting that I dread, but it turned out well when I didn’t have to do something that was out of my comfort zone. Which was funny cos it was “taught” to me during Hanoi, the key to corporate survival after everyone had a drinks or two, and ironically at the same time, it was the opposite what the TKI report reflected about me.

But phew, the episode I dread didn’t happen. Yay! Things are picking up fast and my focus on work has been gradually on track since my return from Hanoi.

Much things have changed since the trip and I walk around the office with a bounce, and somewhat I could hold on to eye contacts a little longer these days. No more shy shy… okay, fine, just a lil. Heh.

Plenty of things on my plate, which probably explains the length of rest I take these days, time I leave office (it is nice in the evening, really!), and the lack of proper updates (okay, fine my site wasn’t friendly to me either).

Rushed from work to Novena and then brought Minibean to SGH for visiting before wrapping up a draining day with a sleeping Minibean in my arms.

***

God really has a wry sense of humor. 50 – 50.

Very funny.

Wah, even like that can be ambiguous.

No. Hmm, uh.. half yes.

Eh. Yes.

!!!!

No.

????

Okay, fine, I don’t care.

Maybe it is a lesson that there really isn’t need for black or white.

***

The evening was spent with Minibean lying next to me, and we watched Ice Age together. I bought a DVD from TS and thought I could utilise my TV, but then had to eventually rely on monitor instead cos the player couldn’t read. Bummer.

After couple episodes of Nanny, I dozed off by 11-ish on a Friday night.

***

Left office to have dinner with YF at City Hall Char Chan Ting before the vertically challenged Jacki joined us for KTV at Marina Square. He was supposed to join us at 10pm after his recent relentless girly whines of how he wanted to go and he “mei you peng you” to accompany him. And then finally we gave in to him, and he turned up only after 11pm (!!!!!).

I got sore throat now. BAHHH.

***

Will spend the weekend completing some work plans, sorting out my sites, and talk about some.. well, interesting topics.

I think I will go back to bed for a nap. :)

It was a nice morning when the little one climbed onto my bed and snuggled herself up next to me. When she left my room, she planted a big smooch on my mouth before she scurried out of the door.

What a way to wake up on a morning like this.

Thanks for the memories

Finally.

I got down to finish all these, and could venture on to other more recent sights and sensory experiences.

Reliving memories the way they were somehow feel… strange. Emotions you blocked out, like the ability to smile at memories given to you by many others whom you no longer have in your life, and frowning when you feel disappointment again as if it was then all over again, all these reminded your capability of feeling… somehow, after not being able to do so for a long, long while.

I don’t know why it is such a relief.

And then, these will be overtaken by the new memories, brought forth by new people, hopefully.

***

Upon touching down in London, we drew in a deep breath of the freezing air as we strutted into the dark openness as the automated doors drew open. The cab driver passed us some pillows and water, trying to get us comfortable for the long ride back to South Kensington.

It was early evening, but the quietness of the night made it seem much more serene, as if it was already much later.

What followed was a very, very sweet ride back, with fingers entwined, hair stroke, and endless conversations that peppered the journey back. Of places we visit, of tease, of banters, of the past, of times we used to share. I remember feeling relaxed, no longer tense. And then, there was the surfacing of the giggles which were seen just few months prior to this, but just not with him.

It was cold, and I was grabbed over. If it was the note to end things on, it certainly was then.

I remember when we were reaching London, many of the roads were closed and what would have taken us much lesser time to get back were delayed by detours and U-turns.

Hadn’t it wasted enough of our time?

We chilled indoors with Lynette and Brendan over, and Aunty Dorene cooking dinner for us. I had my head bowed constantly over my notebook to feed my internet withdrawal.

We spoke about work, we spoke about different things. Brendan bade us goodnight and what was left was a heavy conversation which I matter-of-factly told the ladies how I don’t want this anymore, not with spite, but because I do not believe in what they want me to believe in.

They questioned him, I told them I was just tired, cos it seemed like he just wanna string me along, refuse to let me go, and yet refuse to come clean. They questioned him, and I laughed concedingly that he would never dare to come clean for he would think that is the way to fool everyone.

Lynette asked, “Do you think he is really truly that deceitful a person?”

I looked her in the eyes and said with absolute confidence, perhaps taken her by surprise, “Yes, but he won’t admit to you guys. And okay, I give up. I really do. I just don’t understand why everyone is still trying to convince me to believe him, when he is obviously just good at covering up. These chances given to him again and again to come clean… and everyone thinks I am being paranoid. Trust me, he is still that liar he refuses to see himself for.”

Of course, they spoke up for him, and for me, I threw my arms up in surrender and then told them, I know you guys will once again write me off as irrational, but just take it that my choice is I don’t want this, but can he accept my choice?

I walked away from the conversation and I strangely didn’t feel anything too extreme, haven’t it been something I tried to get them to see but they refused to? Haven’t I been doing the same thing to myself too?

He didn’t accept my choice as he came towards me with the softer approach, the trick is, if the aggressive way doesn’t work, the lethal sweet-nothings, hugs, kisses, and fake promises, tears and beggings would somehow do.

If those don’t work, leaping over the parapet from 20th floor might work very well, and would guarantee you to get your way.

Well, that’s the aim of the game for them. To get their ways eventually. By hook, by crook. You see, when you fucked up, always get someone else to bear the consequences for you, that’s the easiest way, isn’t it? Hurhurhur.

That was the night when my emotions were stirred the most. Because some things, can really be too late and turn you cold. And then, you just play along, like how everyone expects you to, and you bid your time.

I don’t expect any of you to understand, of course. Especially not with how things are now.

Back in London, and chilled indoors with a fabulous home-cooked dinner with Lynette and Brendan.

It was a serious talk that I stand firm of what I do not want.

It was late when they finally left, and the thoughts that followed…

The next morning was one that greeted us chirpily as the sun continued to shine.

Aunty Dorene was delivered a spare car to drive as she got into an accident while we were away in Rome. It was a convertible of newer model, and cooler features. Sometimes, we really allow the technology to get too far ahead of us, that we didn’t even know how to start the car.

I just love the random streets of houses, with colours of spring framing the picture.

We went to High street Kensington, spent some time at Zara, and the usual brands, and since I had my field day at Bicester, I was too broke there was hardly any reason for me to shop anymore.

We walked around the neighbourhood and visited Aunty Dorene’s office, watched kids running around, stopped by quaint, little churches, and headed to Four Season’s to eat roasted duck for lunch. It was really, really, really, nice. Nicer than any duck locally!

We dropped by Selfridges again for me to get the VAT slip processed, shopped around a little, before we went back to freshen up a little and headed out for the evening.

Since there was a bit of time, we took the tube and stopped by Westminster Bridge, feasted on the charming view of London with a brownish hue. Absolutely, absolutely, lovely.

The familiarity of taking pictures across the junction to capture the Big Ben, which celebrates its 150th anniversary this year.

I need to dig up all those old pictures… hidden away somewhere.

I wasn’t sure if the half-heartedness to walk round Westminster Abbey was because everything kinda paled in comparison upon returning from Rome.

I used to study the tombs in the Abbey, often having this morbid fascination of the stories behind.

It was the day when Parliament was held, thus there were plenty of police, and big shots finely dressed queuing up to get in.

We followed the map and walked towards Trafalgar Square. I remember the moment in 1999 June, the day after I watched Jacky Cheung at Wembley, I stayed out till dawn before heading back to Croydon to get my luggage to head home.

The cab I shared with Howe Szuan had me sitting on the left, and I teared as it circled Trafalgar Square, with the pigeons flocking to it, as the morning light shone on them.

It was an impressionable goodbye.

This time, the fountains were under construction, and they weren’t alive. Nelson’s column still stood stoicly, and Admiralty arch still see endless cars holing through it everyday.

And the fabulous, fabulous National Gallery which watches over it, had me poring over much of the exhibits, and was the usual weekend hangout place for me and my ex-housemate.

The graffitis drawn by artists on the floor were impressive.

As we were flanked by the buildings as we turned out of Trafalgar, the streets were litted purple by the setting sun, and it was just a very tamed evening.

It was cold too. The coldest day since we got there.

We turned and reached Haymarket early to collect the stall tickets from Her Majesty’s Theatre, before succumbing to the temptation of the warm and cosy Empire Casino nearby cos it was simply too cold.

I used to sit out in the open to have an ice-cream at Rendevous cafe, and was surprised that it was still there, at that corner.

He suggested we sit down to have portrait drawn, but then I didn’t think we could sit still in the cold for that long.

So, Casino was the choice to go. It was almost 7.15pm when we walked back to Haymarket, and deposited everything at the cloak room.

A cool car which got us around. A trip to Selfridges, and walking around the neighbourhood to high street shopping area. The cute doggie at the office. Revisiting the familiar places which past pictures are long lost.

Love Westminster bridge, and the sight.. gee. Unfortunately everything pales in comparison upon returning from Rome.

Walked down from Westminster Bridge, past Big Ben, Westminster Abbey (I remember I used to study the tombs but this time parliament was held) down Trafalgar Square, fountains were closed. National gallery, my ex-housemate and I used to visit with a fabulous collection of art and all.

Drawings on the floor.

Walked down the charming streets backlitted purple by the evening sun. It was coldest day.

Trafalgar. Nelson’s column. Admiralty arch.

Reached Leicester early before the show at Her Majesty’s Theatre, and Casino made us poorer. Ate at casino, maybe jinxed.

The theatre didn’t seem big, but it was surprising the special effects they were capable of doing with the space, and the depth of it was magnificent. Took pictures in the theatre, with velvety scarlet curtains framing the 110 year-old building, though it has been a theatre site since 1700s. Pai kia is me, since phototaking was… strictly sneaky.

Many of the people spoke about how they had watched it for countless time, and it was only my virgin trip.

As the show started, we had a mega surprise when the Chandelier went up just above our head, and of course, how it came crashing down to signify the interval. Such proximity and all, and all the technicalities behind must be some kind of science.

I sang along to most of the song, and imagined myself to be Christine (okay shuddap! I don’t care what you think) like how an ex-classmate of mine and I used to do the “Ahhhhhh.. Ahhh..” to the end of the song in class.

“In sleep he sang to me… In dreams he came..”

The act put together was seamless. The Phantom was fabulous and I could see his snorts dripping, reflected off the stage lights. And his tears flowed freely and his anguished could be almost felt. He was deservingly showered with applause and standing O with wolf whistles at the end of it. I always sympathised with the Phantom, for he was… so alone. In a way, MJ reminded me of him too.

2 years ago, someone left a comment to tell me how great Melbourne’s Anthony Warlow was, and that he was one of the best Phantoms. Alas, he had retired in May from his masked days and I might never get to watch him. Someday, I would love to watch the other Phantoms singing their hearts out too.

But the one who struck me the most was Madam Giry played by Heather Jackson. She was.. just so captivatingly beautiful. Her poise, her voice, her looks. Gee.

During the interval, I was sprung a surprise of a mug to be used in the office. It had meant something for me back then.

We snuck out wearing bare minimal into the awful cold for a fag break, before returning for 2nd half of the show.

Post show, it was back to the evil Empire Casino since the rest were not out for the night, where we ate a burger. But I guess eating in the casino somehow jinxed the luck and we were in the red by the end of the night.

The surprise I spoke of back then. It had meant something back then.

Chandelier right above our head. Phantom of the Opera, with a fabulous Phantom. I could see his snorts dripping and tears flowing, and as they fell to the stage, you could see the stage lights reflecting off them, and it is no wonder he got the loudest applause and standing O at the end of the show.

“In sleep he sang to me.. in dreams he came..”

2 years ago, a reader left a comment of how Melbourne’s Anthony Warlow is one of the best Phantoms, and though I would love to see him, he has recently retired from his masked days. I will want to watch other Phantoms too.

The last full day we had with London was spent heading to Notting Hill, where we had brunch with the ladies at this chichi restaurant which was filled to the brim.

We walked down to Portobello market nearby.

Portobello market is filled with vintage treasures, spans across couple of streets.

It was busy, and had lotsa quaint stuff on sale.

The shop houses that backed up the roadside stores have the most dainty window display. Everything was so vibrant and pretty. It just cheers you up, like that.

Brendan joined us in the late afternoon, and we cruised around, and made our way to Richmond, where we watched the antelopes and deers roaming freely in the park. It was just so… nice and liberating.

I was screaming to be let down so I can pee cos I couldn’t see any loo in the vast space.

We then went to the town to stop by the roadside and see the other side of River Thames. Very beautiful.

We stopped by Cha Cha Moon for dinner, and we scooted off to run around the neighbourhood to print instant pictures, buy a thank-you card, and exercised some quick-thinking creativity.

It was late, and we managed to watch Duplicity though I had wanted to catch 2 Lovers. But Duplicity was one clever, funny movie that I smirked from start to the end.

It was a fabulous movie, which I think everyone should watch. Of course, I need to say Julia Roberts parked her bike at where we stopped ours.

Wanted to extend the night further but YL was already drunk by the time we dialled him. So it was a night of chilling over tea, and plenty of packing, sneaking in some time to prepare the thank-you gift which we presented to Aunty Dorene just before she slept.

Portobello market. Pretty colours. Quaint. Lunch at chi chi place. Shop. Dinner with Brendan. Watched Duplicity. YL was drunk when I dialled him.

The gift we put together as we bade London and South Kensington goodbye. We ran, we cut, we hid, we plotted, a nice surprise that kept Aunty Dorene smiling.

She lined her fireplace with all the pictures.

It was the last day as I tried to blog my last post from London, I heard Bittersweet Symphony on the radio. It was the only day we listened to the radio, and the coincidence was marvelous. Nostalgia, painfully thick.

As we got to the airport, the line to the VAT rebate was so long that by the time we got the rebate, we board the plane just 5 minutes before takeoff.

Didn’t even realise we were on the Airbus 380. Despite the very low flight fare, it was a pleasant surprise when it was the comfortable airbus, and we had an additional seat shared amongst us for me to lie on his lap across the seats.

Unfortunately my KrisWorld was fucked, and luckily I could shift my seat or else I would be forced to watch the system rebooting itself over and over again for the entire flight.

Took off my leggings straight away and I sealed the biohazard before I knocked everyone out with the distinctive smell.

Touched down in Singapore, and everything was in place, and ready.

Airbus 380! Plenty of room as we got all seats to ourselves.

I do not know what to make of this, but the memories finally are churned out, bit by bit. Some were nice, but faked, but then what I felt back then towards the people, were real. Some are more obvious as you thought they are, but there are a lot more whom you probably never knew exist or how they meant to me, because… time went by, and people had moved on.

Nonetheless, the experience, or just what each sight and sound meant to me personally, don’t get tainted just like this.

Bittersweet.

With some, you might have missed, since you guys probably see the obvious and missed out the hidden.

To all, thanks for the memories.

The girl who lived in the dark

A bored Tuesday had me watching this poignant documentary on Discovery Channel, about the girl who lived in the dark.

Wan Lao Yang, her name is.

As the documentary concluded as it crept towards 9pm, my optimism was greatly defeated, and what was left of me was a wreck as I seriously didn’t brace myself for the sad, sad, ending.

That’s why we always need to cushion as our expectations plunge, taking us by surprise.

It could be the hormones, it could just be a pain of a parent, that explains the heaviness I am feeling now.. which is enough to make my breathing shallow.

I stared at the television, soaking everything in, on the brink of tears, thinking, “It couldn’t possibly end this way! It shouldn’t be.” as the credit rolled.

Fate and destiny. Sometimes, we just can’t beat them, can we?

The 9 year-old was living in the dark in 2005, as she had a rare skin condition, accelerated by the fact that her hometown of Wubao in China, was high above sea level, and that meant UV exposure is higher than usual.

And her condition meant exposure to the sun can be fatal, as it spurs the growth of the tumour on her face. Her condition was flagged by a tour guide, who took her pictures and sent the pictures to various specialists around the world hoping to help her.

Here, is her story:

Daughter of a poor farmer from an undeveloped region of Southeast China, Wan Lao Yang was born with a rare genetic disorder called Xeroderma pigmentosum (XP). Whereas normal individuals are able to repair the DNA damage caused by the sun’s rays (UV rays), individuals with XP lack this ability. This leads to mutations or changes in the DNA in their skin, over time causing these skin cells to grow uncontrollably and leading to skin cancer. The only way to protect these individuals is to reduce or eliminate their exposure to sunlight. Early in life, exposure to sunlight had set off a chain of events in Wan Lao’s skin that eventually led to the development of a skin cancer called melanoma.

Every year, millions of individuals are diagnosed with skin cancer and it is estimated that skin cancer claims one life every hour. XP has revolutionized our understanding of the mechanics of skin cancer. Yet, there is a lot more that is not known.

Despite the harmful effects of sunlight, Wan Lao continued to go to school and led a semi-normal life till her condition deteriorated and facial tumours attacked her nose and part of her left eye. The resulting infection caused blood and pus to ooze from the tumours and a foul smell that eventually caused her friends and neighbours to shun her. Wan Lao stopped going to school as the stares from fellow students and isolation became difficult for her to handle. But she still harboured a hope to return to school some day.

When Dr Atherton first saw Wan Lao, he was shocked to see the extent of growth of the tumours. All through his visit, he was struck by Wao Lao’s positive and brave attitude despite the pain and discomfort she obviously endures night and day. How had she managed?

protective_suit.jpgNASA sends astronauts to space each year outfitted with special suits that block 100% of UV rays, equipped with interior cooling, yet light enough to be worn everyday. This type of suit can protect patients with XP from exposure to UV rays that pose a risk to their lives. Wan Lao has been using the NASA suit till recently when the tumours got too big and the hood didn’t fit any more.

Dr Atherton set out with Wan Lao and her father to seek the medical treatment she desperately needs, but has been unable to afford so far. The travel vehicle had to be fitted with UV resistant screens to protect Wan Lao as much as possible during the journey to Shanghai. Wan Lao was looking forward to getting cured and expressed her wish, “to be like other children and make my father proud”.

Wan Lao’s cancer had progressed to such an extent that unless she was operated upon soon, she would die within a year. It was quite likely that her facial tumours had burrowed into an underlying blood vessel, causing cancer cells to travel to other parts of the body and spread the cancer. All these possibilities had to be investigated before Wan Lao’s treatment could begin. Doctors at the hospital in Shanghai ordered biopsies and an MRI scan to map her tumours to enable the surgeons to plan their strategy to treat her. At this point, Dr Atherton had to return home and leave Wan Lao in the capable hands of the surgeons. On his journey back, he carried with him a biopsy specimen that would be analyzed by molecular biologists in the UK and used to understand more about melanomas.

The surgeons told Wan Lao’s father that her chances of survival following surgery were slim, and that even if surgery were to extend her life expectancy, she would still be disfigured. But even with the odds stacked against her, he decided to give Wan Lao a chance at resuming normal life and going back to school.

Following surgery, Wan Lao was left with a big gaping hole on one side of her face. She had lost her left eye and most of her nose. The abdominal skin graft used to cover the hole did not take hold and doctors had to operate on her again to place another graft, this time taken from her thigh. All through this, Wan Lao was optimistic and brave. She told her younger sister on the phone that she will take care of her once she is home. She assured her mother that she is not afraid. After nearly two months at the hospital, Wan Lao finally went home.

girl_who_lived_in_the_dark_1.jpgDespite losing an eye and having most of the left side of her face covered in bandages, Wan Lao was grateful to be rid of the huge tumours and admitted that she is more comfortable and “not as ugly”. Minus the pus and the smell, she was welcomed back eagerly by her friends at school. This little girl had, in a short time, been through an amazing journey. She had not only had the opportunity to get medical treatment, but had also managed to travel to the largest city in China and see places and things she never could have imagined!

How does this story end? Soon after her return, doctors in Shanghai found out that Wan Lao’s cancer had spread to her lungs. Two months later, having realized her dream of going back to school, Wan Lao died, leaving behind a legacy that provides hope to scientists and cancer patients worldwide. Her biopsy samples and tumour cells have been cryo-frozen and will be used by researchers to study the mechanisms of skin cancer. Wan Lao has immortalized herself by contributing to the advancement of our understanding about a disease that afflicts millions, but that still remains more of a mystery to us than ever.

The last words ended with her saying how she had wanted a prosthetic nose/cheekbones so she could look normal, and then she would want to study hard and go to school, so that one day she could go university, be someone useful… and then her wish of getting married one day.

The dad spoke of how they had came so far and all he could think of is that he was thankful she was alive.

The mum spoke of her relief and envisioned a future for Lao Yang.

The documentary ended with the announcement of her death in 2006.

I stared at disbelief.

She was so brave, so so brave.

Her father just wanted to save her life and signed for the approval for the surgery.

Everyone had so much optimism.

Sometimes in life, everything can be too late, even if it was just a small step so.

Cultural differences

I always like traveling for the people I meet, the places I see, the sensory experiences, the stories I imagine, and how just a simple conversation with anyone could be so enriching.

The Brit I met on board and I spoke about Hamsphire, and how he knew Croydon very well cos both towns are of proximity. He had quit his project managing job to go around the world in 17 months, and he was already into his 4th month of wandering. He would be flying home in couple of weeks’ time to chill for 2 weeks, before flying off again to where he left off, and continued on with his journey.

I marveled and display envy openly.

That’s what some of them worked hard for.

It costs him 20, 000 pounds, and of cos, another 10, 000 for emergency backup.

Then, there was the Finnish who gets discounted tickets since he worked for the airline, and he spoke of the places he had been to, and how Vietnam had changed drastically in the past 15 years.

The Australian teacher who just got back from Sa Pa, spoke of her grown daughters.

The Danish family with 3 confident, young boys, who introduced themselves and gave us firm handshakes when they joined us onboard in the middle of the sea, somewhere, out there. They were well-mannered, and really sweet boys, and they enjoyed themselves by jumping into the jellyfish-infested sea from the roof of the junk. And then I thought of the conservative, sheltered way Asians bring their kids up.

The Chinese couple who were on business trip and gave us a chance to hone our mother tongue.

The Vietnamese guide who mistook us as cough, fashion models (cough blind cough), and shared his personal stash of green tea with us, and chatted to us aplenty, giving us backgrounds to his cultures and all.

We spoke of different things, different cultures, had meals together, and it was nice.

I learnt things I never did know, and my narrow horizon just broaden, somehow.

I dealt with the hottest weather I ever encountered in my life (okay, I remember the Australia heat some 16 years ago, but it wasn’t humid like that of Hanoi’s).

I felt so small in the big, big, world out there. I might never have the time, money and chance to see everything, or be everything, and the impulsion of letting my instinct guide me along, is becoming stronger.

Reading NatGeo isn’t helping much either.

Round the world ticket is cheap leh!

***

I am glad to announce I have put on weight from recent days of good food and a growing appetite.

I chomped on a burger, followed by a huge scone during a 3 and half hour meeting with my boss yesterday, and he gave the strangest laugh as he looked on to me munching non-stop.

I just had a set lunch after having an ultrasound done, but am now craving for scones again.

Bah. I missed a session today.

***

Seen and heard:

- It was Changi Airport on a Tuesday morning, when I was queuing up to enter the gate, scanning the load of stuff I bringing on board. My colleague let me go before him and then just as I was about to step forward to place my bag onto the strap, this man hopped right before me and placed his stuff onto the moving belt. As usual, I just stared blankly in shock. Tsk! The audacity! My colleague loudly said to me, “Eh, don’t jump queue can or not?“, which I suppose was said to me but subtlely aimed at the guy before me. Of course the chap was too deaf to hear any of such, or maybe he just didn’t understand English. Just as I was moving forward after he was done, a flood of people from the back suddenly stepped before me and followed what the chap did.

I widened my eyes in mocked horror, and looked on to the aggression helplessly, before the immigration officer saw the wooden statue of horrified Ting, stepped in and asked all of them to queue up.

I had to be careful not to be jousted as I made my way into the flight.

- The flight was taxiing when the lady beside my colleague took out her phone and started chatting. Stunned, she asked the lady to switch it off, and with some help from the younger lady in front of them, and some gesturing, the lady begrudgingly kept her phone.

Just when the plane was revving its engine, ready for take off… *RING RING* and the lady’s phone rang.

My colleague, understandably panicky from the horror stories/myths of aviation, and some other passengers had to intervene to get the very annoyed lady to switch off her phone.

- To anyone wanting to travel to Vietnam, please note that some of their old notes are already not in use anymore. Beware of cab drivers who insist on you to use 100, 000 dong note, so they could give you change. We learnt it the hard way after being given some of these old notes as change. So yeah, we got conned.

- On the return flight, when everyone was strapped to his seat, and the plane was picking up speed for ascend, this lady in her 50s, suddenly stood up and started walking up and down the aisle. The air steward flustered and raised his voice for her to sit down, an advice she failed to heed. So he had to quickly unstrapped himself and rushed to her to  get her to sit down and wear her seat belt. After he had returned to his station, and the plane was just taking off, her younger companion from another aisle turned to watch out for the steward before unbuckling herself and moved across the aisle to a couple of rows behind to change seats.

- I held my breath on the plane when one of the passengers started coughing relentlessly.

I think I am start to brew a cough……..

- Vietnamese women are gorgeous, sweet, demure, and have the greatest smiles. Vietnamese are mostly very humble. The service staff do not speak good English, but just be a little patient and you can see the amount of effort they put in. They are really a sweet bunch. I think the staff at the Ritz Hotel(hohoho!) really left a fabulous, fabulous impression.

- Because of a last minute change, the whole bunch of us had dinner at Bobby Chinn’s, which I thought I wouldn’t have the chance to check out this trip. Thanks Irene for the heads up and brilliant recommendation(though it was my boss’ idea for the last minute change of venue)!

I so wanna marry a half-Chinese, half Egyptian now. So hot lah, with the distinctive widow’s peak…

And yes, the highlight wasn’t the food, but because coincidentally,  Bobby “the man” Chinn was in the restaurant and he came by to the table to say hi.

So hot lah. Giggles. He just returned to Vietnam after popping by Singapore, he said.

Then I saw him on the magazine yesterday, attending LV launch. Speak about coincidence.

***

Over dim sum supper last night, I was told my shift to my new domain hasn’t been all that smooth, apparently due to the 10MB of database of text (pictures not inclusive at the moment) accumulated over the years.

Woops.

Upon visual inspection, I was told I probably don’t need a boob job, before I cautioned him not to be fooled by the hormones and fillets.

Honestly, I am apprehensive, and I ain’t sure. I have people who egged me on, and some (normally those who don’t understand the woes of the small nehs haha) objected to it.

But then a part of me just want to do it so that I don’t look back and think about how I should have done it but I didn’t, and what it would have been if I did.

Somemore not say I got budget, but then got instalment plans and subsidies lah.

Okay, so tomorrow if I have bigger nehs, you will hear about it!

I don’t remember

Eh, I know I wanted desperately to write, but then now my blog has bandwidth, I don’t remember what I want to write anymore.

As I am trying to decide where to head out tonight, and getting lazier by the minute.

I can’t post any more pictures from my Vietnam trip cos my bandwidth issue is still not sorted out.

Oh I remember.

I wanted to write about the Vietnamese I encountered.

I wanted to write about… Halong Bay.

I wanted to write about how we were tricked into drinking shitty coffee. Literally.

I ate too much veggies in Vietnam.

I ate too much in Vietnam. Daily buffets and good food and hormonal changes meant stuffing myself silly, and happily.

I wanted to talk about the cruise.

I wanted to talk about the upcoming trip.

I wanted to talk about The Ritz Hotel where we stayed in.

I wanted to talk about my TKI results.

Today is a day of lots and lots of energy, and I feel kinda great to start the day this way, though I know I still ain’t relaxing enough.

Okay, all are jotted down so I remember what to write when the bandwidth is wee bit stable, and that I feel like writing more.

***

As we were sitting at the coffeeshop near my place last night, my anxiety prompted me to tear my nails out. It was a cool night with such comforting breeze.

He wouldn’t be able to go diving soon, he said casually.

And as we caught up, it was such a wry exchange.. we spoke of life with such indifference, almost making a mockery of our predicaments. Of dying, of death, of failures, of fears, of uncertainty… of many.

It was just a simple shrug, and what could have sounded terrible were blinked away effortlessly, matter-of-factly, as if we had mocked them in the face, not giving them an ounce of respect nor fear despite their severity.

Dreamers, we are, he remarked.

I grinned sheepishly and pondered for the briefest moment.

A dozen years ago, what were we looking for? The people around us back then, had found whatever they had wanted.

My first puppy love had gotten married recently.

The stability factor in the people around us, seems to be common, but did our spontaneity and impulsiveness stumble us along the way?

Was it us, or was it just that everyone else was strung along.

Is our flaming passion and the relentless search for that…. something, unrealistic?

It shouldn’t be that difficult, should it?

Simplicity, serendipity. It really shouldn’t be that difficult.

***

Okay, heading out to Geylang for supper now, and I hope I have bandwidth when I come back!

Bandwidth maxed out

Had wanted to blog yesterday but obviously the tricky bandwidth issue means the timing to write is very tight.

I thought I would never say this, but Singapore is such a cool city and the weather is so fine!

Even my intestines were almost fried by the heat, and I now have a nice sheen of brown to start the new work week.

The trip was hilarious, my selection of pictures to be posted up need to be totally careful or else I might just risk losing my job.

I survived the night where everyone was drunk.

I survived the heat.

I overcame a few fears, which include climbing stairs, eating fish (I ordered a fish dish cos that was all that stall offered hurhur), “take off” fear, and some I shall not mention.

And, I survived without my phone, which I left in the hotel room most of the time, or on silent mode throughout.

Strangely, I didn’t miss it.

I could only smile awkwardly in response to my colleague when he commented on the ceaselessly blinking phone, which totalled to more than 50 missed calls in a single day.

There was not always something to do, but even when there was nothing, it was cool.

I didn’t explore Vietnam the way I would have hoped I did, but still, Halong was an experience, definitely.

We even got asked if we are fashion models despite the bulges on the tummies.

I met interesting people on the junk to Halong Bay.

And suddenly, it seems like the world got so much bigger as you met people from Finland, England, Australia, Denmark and Vietnam, and each with their own story to tell.

It wasn’t a crowded boat, but horizons were broaden as we spoke of the stories we brought onboard.

I met very, very sweet Vietnamese who made my stay a memorable one.

I also met some who caused a lasting impression for a different reason.

Like the Brit I met onboard, hopefully I remember enough to be journalled.

For in this trip, the conditions weren’t the best (try lugging all the trolley thingy, laptop bag and work bag around while roughing it out), yet even when I was feeling absolutely out of it, with every ounce of my energy drained, I managed to find a wee bit left somewhere within me to trudge on.

It was my rehab.

And I did it.

I am just glad to be back, to my comfort zone, and into the kiap kiap embrace of my tweezers.

My armpits had needed those attention, desperately.

Premature ejaculation

As my roommate chirped a sweet goodnight to me, I quickly saved my draft and shut my notebook in the dark room.

Bah, then did I realise I published instead of saving the draft. Thus, the previous entry got posted prematurely without the flesh to it.

Will probably update it and give it the conclusion I had desired.

Day 2 started out with a heavy breakfast, and then trying on the clothes before we utilised the scorching sun for a morning in the awesome pool before lunch.

And I thought we were on a work trip! The jeans and tops I packed are pretty redundant since most of them are attending the meeting with slippers(which I bought myself a pair!) and shorts.

The pool was cool and now makes me a little sleepy on a lazy afternoon. I am so not made for leisure trips, I get restless and need programs and action-packed activities..

It is a surprise to see another nice day again.

As I crawled into bed last night and disrobed, I heard loud swoshing sounds and rushed to the balcony. The rain came pouring down furiously for 5 minutes, before it subsided to a slight drizzle. I thought the rain was going to last like how it did for a long, long while in the past week, but it didn’t.

It was a bright morning with the serene lake greeted us.

I feel better this trip after getting to know my colleagues better. Easy banters of “spare tyres” and how most of the girls in the team are all skinny and flat, we traumatised the chaps with talks on padded bras, and on the contrary, the chaps in the teams all have bigger chests than us!

We were trying to name a skinny chap in the team but couldn’t think of any. Giggles.

We will have a lakeside chill session later tonight, and hopefully I would save myself from the alcohol battle tonight.ill

Considering all attending have 2 bottles of alcohol with us, it seems set for a bloodshed.

Till then, tata.

City of peace

Day 1 in the city of peace, and the roads are anything but peaceful.

The rain in Hanoi finally stopped to welcome us with plenty of sunshine, and the evening is cool with strong breeze.

Watched part of Duplicity again and it reminded of the time we watched it 4 months ago and what a hilarious irony it is.

Had wanted to catch 2 Lovers (cos it reminded me of Sliding Doors, one of my all-time fave) back then at the cinema but they didn’t have the slots, and thus I settled for Duplicity, but it was such heaviness watching 2 Lovers (I didn’t expect the dark element in the movie) that I had to watch Bride Wars to level out the heaviness.

A couple of other great shows on KrisWorld and Gran Torino is one of those I would wanna catch.

The room has a fantastic view which I am just chilling and watching into the vast lake, and talking to my colleagues by calling out across the balconies even though they are one floor above, with the breeze teasing my hair.

This is exactly the view from my room.

The night is so peaceful, so beautiful, and the moon is so bright tonight.

The free and easy day had us scrambling through the busy streets of Hanoi, shrilling as we tried to cross the road. The key is, close your eyes, and walk across without looking at oncoming traffic.

Pretty tiring day with all the walking, an am just alone in the hotel room, since my roommate, whom I had only met once and  never spoken to, is on a different schedule from me, and probably won’t be back early.

Strangely, Hanoi reminds me of Russia.

And I am actually starting to get a bout of homesickness, and it is only day 1!

Will upload the pictures (very subdued this time cos mostly colleagues and plenty of walking… and not much sight) when I get the chance to, which probably mean quite soon since the schedule isn’t very packed.

Meanwhile, I shall catch up with my daily news and email clearing.

Ciao Pompeii, Ciao Italia

I don’t like packing.

There’s just something about it that seals my comfort zone with it.

I don’t sleep well before flights. I am not sure if it is anxiety, or just plain excitement that got in the way.

Thus here I am, in a scurry to conclude (or rather.. crawl towards concluding) the series of memories-recapping, as I probably have much to blog about in the coming week.

And what’s more, probably at a new location too. :)

***

It was supposed to be the day of Florence.

Just the day when we first reached Rome, I had mentioned about Pompeii being one of the places I have always wanted to go, cos I am just so intrigued by what I had read about it since years ago, but I had no freaking idea where it is.

A quick browse on the pamphlet lying in the hotel lobby made me discover that it was a possible destination, with a day tour to Naples (Napoli), routing to Pompeii.

A nice place, or somewhere I have been wanting to go for the longest time?

The dream in the dreamer took over, and a trip was quickly booked via the hotel, and had us set off at 6.15am in the morning.

It was a freezing morning, and I remember having a hot cup of tea, sitting on the metal chairs outside the cafe watching Rome coming to life as dawn’s curtains were drawn.

I kept pushing out my breaths and watch the mini clouds formed, wrapping my icy hands round the paper cup.

What begun was a 3 hours-drive to Naples, and we saw the scenery took on a transformation.. from a city of pure, genius art, to nature’s art.

The countryside with occasion sights of old castles rich in history and speak fascinating stories…

pompei1

When we finally reached Naples, the city found by the ancient Greeks, and the city where pizza was birthed!

The view of Bay of Naples was simply… breathtaking.

We were given a short tour of Castel Nuovo, where the kings used to reign.

As we were touring the city, a black dog started following us, as though it was chaperoning us, and as I squatted down to pat it, it flipped onto its back and leaned its head up as though wanting to kiss me.

But as though we were still intoxicated with the charms of Rome, Naples didn’t manage to rouse that much excitement.

It was half an hour more before I finally saw Pompeii – The lost city, in sight.

It was lunch at some Victoria Hotel with the rest of the group, and we were seated with a family of Canadians from another tour group, telling us about their lives, their adventures with their now-grown children around the world as the father was a diplomat.

They also spoke of their love for Rome and the must-visit places and spoke of the excitement of finally visiting Pompeii.

And then. We stepped foot into the ruins, with the non-threatening Mt Vesuvius framing it in the background.

In 79 AD, it had erupted and killed 5000 of the 20000 population, burying Pompeii under 60 feet of ash. It was unearthed in 1748, by an accidental discovery. Evacuation works can be still seen at the site till this day.

Although it is probably mostly ruins, but to walk down the carriageway built 2000 years ago, and being awed by the “technology” of the people, envisioning their last moments… is truly an experience. Not to mention how much of the architecture, art and relics are still very much intact.

pompei2

Double storey houses were already “in” back then, the temples with its majestic interior and pretty sculptures can still be seen, albeit in ruins.

pompei3

The part I anticipated most and couldn’t stop talking about are the casts of the victims buried in the ash.

When the site was excavated, lots of skeletons were found in vacuum of spaces, etched in the ash. It was then realised the space was what encapsulated the victims when they were dying, and as the ash hardened, it created a mould of their bodies.

Plaster was then injected into the hollow spaces, and what turned out were eerie casts portraying faces of death.

You could see how their bodies were struggling, as they died from the fumes, and the agony evident on the casts that captured their expressions as they died.

The public bathhouse is well-preserved, and we could see the big, marble tub, and the area where there were statues on the walls, which used to house massage oils and such.

I was sitting on a water-catchment thingy which I supposed was for the horses to drink along the carriageway.

The little humps on the road are actually pedestrian walkway for people to cross the road since the road would be wet or muddy. Like zebra crossing!

pompei4

And oh my! P O R N on the walls from 2000 years ago! It was the “geylang” of Pompeii, with tiny cubicles of stone beds.

Some are so short and I wonder if their acts would be limited. But judging from the visuals on the wall, they very well knew what they were doing.

The bakery oven was very much intact, left behind by one of the many bakeries which served the city with fresh bread.

In the casts found, one of it was a dog. And seeing the casts, could be very disturbing.

Try to make sense of the above picture. Haha.

Unfortunately, we didn’t have the chance to visit the museum in Naples, or there would be more of the casts/items unearthed on display there.

It was then another 3 hours ride back to Rome, where we stopped by Cassino for a short break, in the midst of the countryside. Absolutely beautiful.

And the day slowly dimmed as the bus stopped us at a street near our hotel after taking us around a short tour of Rome at night, and we stopped by at the pizzeria opposite the street to pack some pizza.

I tried making a conversation with the Italian waiter in a mixture of English and broken Italian. Damn, I should have brushed it up before I went there.

From a day of extended walking, I was just glad to be showered and hidden in the room with the stink from the shoes reminding me of the day of long, long, walking.

***

Bidding Rome goodbye was no easy feat.

Woke up to the new day still wanting to absorb as much of this mesmerising city before heading to the airport.

Upon exploring Rome alone just the day before, I know returning to Basilica di San Giovanni was a must, since I didn’t manage to go into it.

We walked into the Palace of the Holy Steps, where there were plenty of people worshipping, and we choreographed a picture to look as it.. well that they were worshipping us instead.

So much for vanity.

Then it became a routine that every place we went to, we would look for praying people and pretend to be the innocent tourist browsing at the structure, and the other would snap.

Of course, the cheekiness would be punished with the people promptly stand up just before we could snap it.

pompei5

I was particularly taken by the statue above cos it was so intimidating, yet the details are so immaculate.

One thing about the cathedrals is that all the confession booths are so pretty.

Took a picture in St Peter’s Cathedral but I think I didn’t upload it cos just too much pictures to upload (I have to skim down from 1000+ gasp!).

It was then a fast and furious trip to Santa Maria degli … fillintherestofthenamehere. It was an old church dated back to 1500s which means The Basilica of St. Mary of the Angels and the Martyrs.

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It was a nice wrap to the trip to Rome, as we ran across the junction, bypassing the fountain of Naiads in the centre.

Everything about it was just majestic, and the non-striking exterior hid plenty of gorgeous structures within it.

Rushed back to check out of the hotel by noon by the metro, before I do what I always do when I am overseas – write a postcard to Minibean (my Phuket one never made it back though).

pompei7

It was the most Italian way to watch the shedding leaves, alfresco-style outside an authentic Italian cafe, sipping tea in the cold, and watching the array of colours from the flower shop opposite the road.

Slowing the pace was the way to go. So much peace, so much fulfilment and gladness to be finally here.

I will be back, someday, I know.

Rome. Venice. Florence. Nice.

Hailed a cab and headed back to the aeroporto, and once again, chewing on the high Italy has left me while looking at the vast out there.

Lovely.

Just lovely.