Eh, I know I wanted desperately to write, but then now my blog has bandwidth, I don’t remember what I want to write anymore.

As I am trying to decide where to head out tonight, and getting lazier by the minute.

I can’t post any more pictures from my Vietnam trip cos my bandwidth issue is still not sorted out.

Oh I remember.

I wanted to write about the Vietnamese I encountered.

I wanted to write about… Halong Bay.

I wanted to write about how we were tricked into drinking shitty coffee. Literally.

I ate too much veggies in Vietnam.

I ate too much in Vietnam. Daily buffets and good food and hormonal changes meant stuffing myself silly, and happily.

I wanted to talk about the cruise.

I wanted to talk about the upcoming trip.

I wanted to talk about The Ritz Hotel where we stayed in.

I wanted to talk about my TKI results.

Today is a day of lots and lots of energy, and I feel kinda great to start the day this way, though I know I still ain’t relaxing enough.

Okay, all are jotted down so I remember what to write when the bandwidth is wee bit stable, and that I feel like writing more.

***

As we were sitting at the coffeeshop near my place last night, my anxiety prompted me to tear my nails out. It was a cool night with such comforting breeze.

He wouldn’t be able to go diving soon, he said casually.

And as we caught up, it was such a wry exchange.. we spoke of life with such indifference, almost making a mockery of our predicaments. Of dying, of death, of failures, of fears, of uncertainty… of many.

It was just a simple shrug, and what could have sounded terrible were blinked away effortlessly, matter-of-factly, as if we had mocked them in the face, not giving them an ounce of respect nor fear despite their severity.

Dreamers, we are, he remarked.

I grinned sheepishly and pondered for the briefest moment.

A dozen years ago, what were we looking for? The people around us back then, had found whatever they had wanted.

My first puppy love had gotten married recently.

The stability factor in the people around us, seems to be common, but did our spontaneity and impulsiveness stumble us along the way?

Was it us, or was it just that everyone else was strung along.

Is our flaming passion and the relentless search for that…. something, unrealistic?

It shouldn’t be that difficult, should it?

Simplicity, serendipity. It really shouldn’t be that difficult.

***

Okay, heading out to Geylang for supper now, and I hope I have bandwidth when I come back!

Had wanted to blog yesterday but obviously the tricky bandwidth issue means the timing to write is very tight.

I thought I would never say this, but Singapore is such a cool city and the weather is so fine!

Even my intestines were almost fried by the heat, and I now have a nice sheen of brown to start the new work week.

The trip was hilarious, my selection of pictures to be posted up need to be totally careful or else I might just risk losing my job.

I survived the night where everyone was drunk.

I survived the heat.

I overcame a few fears, which include climbing stairs, eating fish (I ordered a fish dish cos that was all that stall offered hurhur), “take off” fear, and some I shall not mention.

And, I survived without my phone, which I left in the hotel room most of the time, or on silent mode throughout.

Strangely, I didn’t miss it.

I could only smile awkwardly in response to my colleague when he commented on the ceaselessly blinking phone, which totalled to more than 50 missed calls in a single day.

There was not always something to do, but even when there was nothing, it was cool.

I didn’t explore Vietnam the way I would have hoped I did, but still, Halong was an experience, definitely.

We even got asked if we are fashion models despite the bulges on the tummies.

I met interesting people on the junk to Halong Bay.

And suddenly, it seems like the world got so much bigger as you met people from Finland, England, Australia, Denmark and Vietnam, and each with their own story to tell.

It wasn’t a crowded boat, but horizons were broaden as we spoke of the stories we brought onboard.

I met very, very sweet Vietnamese who made my stay a memorable one.

I also met some who caused a lasting impression for a different reason.

Like the Brit I met onboard, hopefully I remember enough to be journalled.

For in this trip, the conditions weren’t the best (try lugging all the trolley thingy, laptop bag and work bag around while roughing it out), yet even when I was feeling absolutely out of it, with every ounce of my energy drained, I managed to find a wee bit left somewhere within me to trudge on.

It was my rehab.

And I did it.

I am just glad to be back, to my comfort zone, and into the kiap kiap embrace of my tweezers.

My armpits had needed those attention, desperately.