Archive for July, 2009

2 drafts

July 30th, 2009 by admin

2 drafts are left hanging and I still haven’t got the time to get down to some real blogging.

And I believe it wouldn’t be tonight either.

It started out as a small itch at the back of my throat this morning, before I started with the occasional clearing of throat, before it became more frequent within the hour.

By late afternoon, I was almost coughing my lungs out, with my abdominal muscles reacting to the overexersion by cramping up badly.

Then, busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy busy. Boss bought lunch back. Busy busy busy rush rush rush.. oh shit, late for appointment, shoo boss outta office, walked to carpark, drove to meeting area, met up with client, meeting over-ran… fruitful but many things to do.. breathe breathe breathe cough cough cough cough.. headache came in.

By evening, the friends came and joined me after my meeting ended and I coughed more over a hilarious dinner at Clementi Road.

“I am going to Redhill, near IKEA there, how do I get there?”

So with me as the “GPRS” system in the passenger seat (if I wasn’t too big to fit onto the dashboard, I bet they would put me there with my ear suctioned to the windscreen) we battled the peak hour traffic with another vehicle following behind us.

When we finally reached Redhill area, approaching IKEA…..

“…. Not this branch!” the driver exclaimed.

“HELLO? Singapore only has 2 IKEAs, here and Tampines, and you said Redhill right?!”

“No.. the one near Shah Alam…”

“Shah Alam is in Kuala Lumpur!”

“No.. the one near the one your friends always pull wheelies one..(oh man, those were the days hor, Eileen and Mummy Cat?)..”

“ALAMEEN IS IT?”

“Ya ya!”

“KNN! IT IS BUKIT TIMAH!! WHERE GOT REDHILL YOU TELL ME?!”

And then he proudly declared to the car behind that his GPR(ahem, which is yours truly), failed on him.

Go get yourself a GPS, and then key in “Redhill” and see where the blardy thing brings you. ROAR!

So, we begun our journey towards Bukit Timah Road, through Holland Road, and just as we gonna turn at Clementi Road down to where we were supposed to head…

… “actually, the place closes at 8..”

It was 7.55pm on the clock.

I threw dagger stares “Then we go for what?!”

I called the driver behind, “Michael Schumacher just announced the place closes at 8, so let’s go dinner.”

So we turned into the immediate restaurant right next to the road, and headed in for the carpark.

And then….

……. I felt my side of the car was stuck when it was reversing into the parking slot, before I realised the obstruction was the right side of another car.

“OIIIIIIIIIIII! You just hit a car!”

I was greeted with a “Har?” with the accelerator still depressed in reversed gear.

“Drive there!!” I pointed forward and we stayed in a dark corner for a while.

After some time, the other driver got off his car, and was waved over by me.

I shared the joke and we surveyed the “damage”. Not dent, not much traces, and no damage.

We laughed all the way over dinner and you would have thought only YOURS TRULY would drive like that.

Tsk tsk tsk.

After laughing too much over dinner, I was feeling increasingly warm and uncomfortable, with the cough taking an awful turn, and the nose started dripping, and the throat sore. Then it was a warm night but I was having chills.

BAH!

So I was dropped off at the clinic.

I walked in and asked for a mask.

“Sorry, you have to buy. We don’t give.”

Okay. I shall cough cough cough cough cough cough cough.

Then it was my turn, a young chap was masked as he took my temperature. 37.0. No fever.

Throat sore.

Cough bad.

Nose runny.

Breathing okay.

So I got the flu. Don’t know what kind of flu, but flu.

I got a day MC off for tomorrow, and quickly board a cab to return home cos I just felt so… unwell.

I showered and staggered out of the bathroom, and my temperature went up to high 37s low 38s, even my pee felt warm.

So, knowing how my colleagues are all paranoid after a case of confirmed H1N1 in my office (office very big, so..) and their closed ones belong to the high-risk group, I asked, “So, not swine flu right?“, in case they cruxify me on the stick asked (you should have seen how aggressive they were towards 2 colleagues who were down with flu last week and insisted on going to work).

He stuttered a little and I knew he was going to downplay the severity of the pandemic (like how I am also pretty complacent about it because knowing it could pretty much be just a common flu), and he said he can’t confirm if it indeed is, cos even if it is, there is nothing to worry about, my body could fight it well myself, and most people recover.

He said the only way I could find out is I go to the hospital to take a test.

Before I went off, he wanted to say something before he stopped himself, and then continued, “Uhm, if you are feeling breathless at any point, please get yourself to the hospital, as it could be the severity of the symptoms.”

Nice. Very assuring.

I am just gonna take it as I am having common flu and not miss the important meeting tomorrow afternoon.

The MC isn’t of much use since my boss asked me to work from home tomorrow due to a firedrill.

“Don’t need to come in tomorrow…”

“Huh! Tomorrow or for good?” I gave an animated frown that would make Stephen Chow proud.

But it doesn’t stop the emails coming in.

Imagine clearing emails everyday due to a “You mailbox is almost full” warning..

3 weeks of full-on charging next week. August will be my make-or-break month.. Hohoho.

I am having too drugged a mind to actually write the 2 drafts of content I am supposed to come up with.

Woops.

***

Marciano having sales, and I fell in love with another pair of come-fuck-me heels.

Tempting, tempting.

Why like that?!

Too much lust, too little poise and grace and backpower.

It must be the reason why I suddenly became sick. Lustsick.

Bummer. Doubt I can see Dong You and the mummies this weekend cos of the damn flu. -Sulks-

***

It could just be too much escargots/oysters and good food at Hooha! yesterday night for a late dinner.

What happened on the back seat stays at the back seat. Hahaha!

***

While looking at my blueblack today on my arm, I wondered why am I always so easily bruised, before I kicked something and stopped.

I had just walked into a granite wall.

Well done, Ting, well done!

Posted in Life's Fillers | 16 Comments »

Team Caius

July 30th, 2009 by admin

When I watched Twilight, I tsk-ed at the endless gasps and sighs of those horny ladies whose hormones went into overdrive. You could even feel the tension and bated breaths frozen in the air BEFORE the vampires made their entrance onto the screen.

The muffled squeals and all… I was raising my brows and giving those “You kidding me, right?” condescending laughs as my viewing pleasure was disrupted by heaves and low grunts. And the rows of ladies with their hands to their hearts to still them so they wouldn’t leap out or something (especially the one who kept shifting in her seat right next to us, who was an executive female in her late twenties watching it alone, probably for the X-th time).

At the end of the show, fuck, I found myself holding my breath also. Got more wimpy or not?

I caught myself unaware as I was in the midst of some shyshy girlish giggles halfway through the show and wondered what the freak was so wrong with me?!

It was perhaps one of the most interesting movie outings I have ever been to, that emotions and hormones are orchestrated like a symphony, with I-don’t-care-he-is-MINE (deleted to ensure the safety of my being) Edward Cullen as the conductor.

And for the upcoming New Moon.

Gosh.

How Jacob has grown.

I have to keep my mind in check. He is just a teenager and it feels so wrong that it feels so right to feel so wrong..

Tsk tsk tsk.

And of course with the Volturi taking centrestage…

… Let’s get ready for some Team Caius. He has an English accent, ohmyfreakinggoshohdearletmebreathe.

(I just hope he doesn’t make me cringe in a bad way kind…)

Sad to say, I am not looking forward to blatant hormonal display in the cinema which I probably be impossibly annoyed by the disturbing reactions and strange, strange noises from the ladies.

It is even more emotionally traumatising to find myself being one of them. Giggles.

I better get plenty of pantyliner ready when the movie is out, so I don’t cream my panties.

Get ready people, when you walk into a cinema with plenty of ladies watching New Moon, you might find yourself experiencing what Yang Tze theatre is to old men.

Brollies, anyone?

Posted in Pageantry of Decadence | 2 Comments »

Halflined

July 29th, 2009 by admin

A few things happened this morning when I did my retail visit.

I saw the window which was allocated to me being taken up by someone who was working on it.

I was puzzled, cos it was originally mine, you know, like specifically, mine?!

So eventually the other vendor went on to stock it up and I just stood there, bewildered.

Then I realised he was someone I worked together with before in my previous job, so it didn’t escalate into a cat fight.

You know what is the strangest thing? I just thought about this very person just 2 days ago because I was going through my database. I am careful who I think about these days, cos I will never know what will happen 2 days later.

So I one-upped him.

I gave my puppy-eyes, pouted and suddenly, the high-pitch teyh voice magically “come out of glue” (chong chu jiang hu).

“Cannot like that oneeeeeeee… how can you do this to meeeeeeee?”

Okie it might not have worked very well, he could very well be traumatised.

Somehow, I got my space back. Eventually.

Giggles.

***

I was busy answering emails via phone and rushing to my retail space to meet my co-worker, and unfortunately, boss(by unfortunately, I mean I am usually super-nervous in his presence).

It so happened that I was also putting on makeup on my way there.

So meeting, then discuss, then blarblarblar.

Then lunch.

Then boss sent me back to office.

Then back to office when lunchtime is over.

Yak yak yak.

I looked into the mirror and to my horror, I only had eyeliner on my right one, and the other one was mercilessly left out(oh, got pun!) by me.

I have been like that for half the day!!

Now I think back, maybe the vendor earlier was just weirded out by my eyes.

Posted in Piercing the mundane | 2 Comments »

A simple day

July 27th, 2009 by admin

It turns out to be a nice Monday.

There are some rainy days that will make you feel utterly melancholic, yet there will be some that will make you feel all warm and fuzzy.

It is the latter for me today.

I lustily hastily attended my chiropractic session this morning, and checked out the multiple x-rays that showed what I already knew, before I was asked to lie down, and flipped over several times while he got on top of me and pressed his weight onto me.

He pushed my head down and I got all tense, and he had to constantly remind me to relax…

I let out a loud gasp of moan once when he pushed too hard when he was twisting my hips to the side.

I was afraid that I would fall off, but he was reassuring, telling me how he wouldn’t let me, before he supported my weight with his body weight, which kept me balanced as he pushed himself down on me further.

It wasn’t painful but I was wondering if I was gonna survive the ordeal, at all, without my spine broken in places I know not of.

And I was asked to exercise at home. Ahem.

Please believe me that I did not have my thoughts stray as I typed the above. There were people watching when he did all the nasty to me, and at the end of it, as I breathed hard and fast as I sat up, with my hair totally out of place, he looked at me, and smiled, “Are you still with us?”

“I ain’t so sure about that!”

The back compression forced the air out of my lungs and I was wondering if he was gonna break my spine cos it was as if he was doing some ribs-breaking CPR, albeit from the back.

I tsk-ed when I saw his notes on me, “General clumsyness.”

First thought which came to mind, “Wah lau, doctor don’t know how to spell clumsiness”

Of course, plus the fact that I am not clumsy!

***

I was told to walk around for 15 minutes after that and when I did that, I could feel some significant difference to the way I walked, though it probably means some places were feeling kinda strange as I was forced to use some of the long-forgotten, lazy muscles.

As I stood in the open, the big droplets of drizzle rang the alarm, before I scooted back to office for a long day ahead.

***

Today was the day I thought long and hard about my present role, and questioned my ability about it. I am not sure if it is the right job fit, but I ain’t going down without a fight.

My zero experience plus the fact that I get incredibly shy around people make the self-doubt sneaked in, though I would objectively say there are still some traits of mine that might work my way.

We shall see.

***

A colleague of mine linked me to the word, “hot”(I never say! He say one!), and I did a comedic shyshy laugh and replied, “OMG, that is so rare! You gonna make me cry!”

I was so close to making an Oscar-style speech for my Oscar moment.

He then walked into me after we celebrated a fellow colleague’s birthday, and I went, “Tsk! Wah, you purposely one right, cos I hot right?”

He gave me the most DUH look before mumbling to himself, “I should have never told you that…”

I giggled and said, “No lah, indulge me, I don’t get that often can!” I chirped like a little girl.

Of cos, that provided a lil comic relief for the day.

***

There wasn’t anyone when I finally left the office today, a colleague from another department ended up dancing tango with me as I was walking out, and he was walking in.

It lasted for a few seconds before we stopped and looked at each other, and burst out laughing at the brief silliness before we finally got past each other, and the door.

We had never spoken but it was a light-hearted way to end an unusually tense day.

***

I actually managed to sleep very well last night. I don’t usually sleep well on Sundays these days because of the anxiety of returning to work on a Monday and I would spend my awake AND sleeping moments thinking about the tasks I planned out to do.

So my quality of sleep had been horrendous.

I actually managed to relax myself well last night and woke up feeling alright, and the chiropractic session made me feel a whole lot more refreshed with a less achy back.

I finally got to wear heels, and it would be soon before I could return to the sea for a diving trip! Yay.

***

I had a good Sunday, with an utterly sinful dinner. Crabs, oat-meal prawns, sambal kangkong, and chocolate thereafter.

Watched Liverpool defeated Singapore by 5-0(which I once witnessed Newcastle did equal damage), while trying to complete some work, but of course the evil root of procrastination probably needs to be tamed. It would have been nice if I could wear my jersey with Owen’s name printed at the back and attend the match live.

I was telling someone how I used to have this affinity with Liverpool fans, and I tend to date boys who are Liverpool fans (perhaps looking at their ego bruise gave me some kind of SM high), and I should be at the stadium more than anywhere else last night.

I finished the first season to Lie to Me, and am now very attached to the characters, especially the lead whose looks remind me of my colleague. The mental chess game he plays is oh-so sexy. The lead, not my colleague, by the way.

It was a nice Sunday, which I felt like welcoming myself back with a big placard.

*Beams*

***

I felt kinda good and stayed in the office till late today, before strolling in the cool evening to Coffee Club to curb my craving with an Alfredo.

I wonder if people OD on chilli.

I had so much chilli from last night, till this noon(dousing my macoroni soup with chilli padi), and then in the evening finishing the chilli all too soon.

But it was great sitting in the open, watching the life seeping out of the office area as it got later.

The air was almost cold, and damp, with those sexy songs (Kissing a fool..) playing in the background, and I was just reading magazine in the quiet night, before I called it a day and got on a cab in the negligible drizzle.

There is just something about tonight… that makes me smile.

***

I got back and did my laundry, thinking of making use of the breeze tonight.

There is just something about tonight to make it a lil dreamy, a lil fuzzy.

And no, it isn’t my cute chiropractor lah.

***

While in office today, I was given an exclusive glimpse of the censored pictures from the Hanoi trip. I found myself muffling myself with my hand to my mouth throughout.

I was then warned not to ever upload it to my blog/facebook.

I think it would not only be my job at stake, I could even be silenced.

Let’s just say, those who missed out… are really missing out.

I really love this bunch of people, though I can’t say I am close to them, but they have taught me the most.. I am perhaps one of the youngest and certainly the most clueless, and yet I will always remember how awesome and capable this bunch of people are.

I am gonna snuggle under my duvet and do some reading right after hanging up the laundry.

And I might finally get down to posting up Hanoi’s pictures, and perhaps the pictures of joyous occasion over the weekend.

I am hoping yet another positive day tomorrow, though I know for the next 2 days I will probably be under plenty of scrutiny for my upcoming projects.

Well, that’s life. I shall take it as it comes.

Posted in Life's Fillers, Perk-me-ups | 2 Comments »

Beyond comprehension

July 26th, 2009 by admin

I had wanted to blog lots over the weekend but the bandwidth issue pretty much means that whatever words that were crafted in my head probably went back to their graphical form.

This would have been a really happy, happy post.

It would also have been a really mundane post.

It could also have been a picture-filled one.

It could also have been a senseless one about the dreams I have been having.

But I woke up with such heaviness that is beyond comprehension.

It was a news I got from Effy when I returned from a day of celebratory events. A wedding, 2 birthdays.

It wasn’t long before I found all the highs are wiped with the sadness of the news of Yasmin Ahmad’s passing. They couldn’t be serious, could they?

And somehow, this feels personal… it feels as if it hits too close to home. It is not being hit by the mass, public grief like what Michael Jackson’s death had been.

And for some other personal reasons, it is just strange, strange twist of fate that the news came.

We lose a rare gem, whose wits and charm are not only oh-so inspiring, but also constantly pushing the envelope with her storytelling style, touching on topics people feel inclined to shy from, and highlighting issues little ventured by fellow directors. In a country where I originated from, it couldn’t be easy, at all. I could only imagine the constant battles she had to fight just to trudge on with what she believed.

And she sent one common message in all.

Her passion for love. Her passion for everyone to love. Without prejudice. Her passion to trigger people to think about how to love.

If you have had the chance to meet her like me and other privileged individuals around the world, you would have known what a character this amazing lady was. She handled criticisms in her stride, with poise, and her sensitivity.. she had eyes that read you, and read your stories. Even if you were just sitting across the room at a far corner.

She connected with people, and she was personable. She embraced her sexuality.

Her hands illustrated her points as she waved them around energetically. Wow. So full of passion. Her animated, unabashed admittance of how much of a sentimental person she was. She not only told stories with her productions, but also as a person.

You would enjoy watching her as she speaks. Full of grace, animated, smart, charming, sensitive, encouraging. Even dramatic. Absolutely captivating.

That day. That moment when we stepped in. The moment my heartstrings were tugged when the series of Petronas ads were aired. I sniffled in the dark. Then the moment. And thereafter, when she came up to us and spoke to us. Call me shameless, but I truly believe that that evening, we were probably the group she enjoyed talking to the most. I remember we spoke about where we came from. She made me proud to be a Malaysian, which is a rare sentiment.

She posed for a picture and candidly did a rapper-style gesture, and passed us her card.

I remember walking out to grab a cab that evening in the drizzle, Bananana quipped, out of the blue, something along the lines of.. “I am glad we came for this.” as an afterthought.

It struck me because, there are few moments in my life, that people usually say that as an after-sentiment. It sounded like a declaration of how it had given us something to bring along. People usually say, “I like the show…“, “I like the…“, “That was good..” as a topic-fueller to feedback, to chew on it. I don’t know how to explain, but there is a deeper meaning to it, as it probably gave us a deeper meaning to us too.

I don’t know what to say, though the sentence “This shouldn’t have happened” is probably the one keep replaying in my head on this Sunday morning. It is like a friend had left us.

Thanks to Rinaz, I managed to find a clip to part of the interview with Yasmin the day we were at the Screening Room for the launch of the Family ad.

Rest in peace, Yasmin.

Another talent, gone too soon.

It is beyond comprehension. It just seems a little unfair.

Posted in Making Sense of Life | No Comments »

The big headache

July 22nd, 2009 by admin

I can’t remember when was the last time I have such a mega migraine.

It is probably not the worst of the lot on the scale of pain level, but the side effects that flanked it are bad enough to ruin two, good days.

It started with a long journey of travelling as I scrurried round the island these couple of days. By the time the day ended, the throbbing, sharp pain was starting to make me feel a tad weak.

Light-sensitivity made it hard for me to sit before my monitor long before I get nauseous.

And strangely some brain activities (okay, I know they are usually simple, but still, got some okay!) are somewhat affected. I had difficulties forming some words or structuring some sentences.

It went away briefly for a while last night finally, but this morning I woke up with left side of my body feeling numbed all the way to my toes, and I felt void of energy as I was shivering, and was feeling kinda delirious.

The sharp pain persisted and suddenly as I type until here, it throbbed again and I stared at this sentence for a good few minutes not knowing how to continue or what I had intended to write cos brain connectivity seems to go haywire.

Anyway.

With the condusive weather, and barely energy to get out of bed, I called in for an MC.

I woke up later in the morning still feeling the terrible throbbing, and went to see the doctor in the afternoon.

I got horribly cheesed off having to wait one and half hour despite me trying to beat the lunch time crowd.

And the doctor was one of the worst and irresponsible doctors I ever visited, who would shout for his patient’s name before the door closes as the last one left the room. So sometimes even when very, very muffled, he would not stand up (leg broken, is it?) to go to the door to call for the patient even if no one knew if it was him/her he was calling.

Before I could recite my symptoms, when I said the word, “migraine” in my first sentence, he started writing painkillers prescription and asked me about my allergy before letting me go on.

He cut me off midsentence when I tried to continue to list the symptoms, and brushed me off. “Did a doctor tell you it is a migraine or you call it a migraine?”

I go to him for what again huh? Someone remind me, please.

I waited one and half hour for this?!

He seemed quite impatient when I tried to tell him other symptoms (which I want to get medication for) cos he didn’t seem interested in listening, before saying, “okay, you take the painkiller and see how.”

I didn’t even feel like waiting for my medication when I walked out.

RRROOOOAAAARRRRRR.

From my wrath, you probably guessed the doctor was grumpy and not cute, which explains there was no plus factor to make my wait worthwhile.

And the fact that I still felt much of the pain when I got back that I was pretty delirious and couldn’t keep my eyes open.

Woke up from the nap with yet the same splitting headache and not feeling much better (okay, at least I can blog now) despite the lousy painkiller.

Was trying to do a planning slide but can’t seem to put a thought together before it is sliced by a sharp throb.

Oh well.

I think I need a chocolate treat. Just in need of some sugarsugar.

***

Hmm, the results of my 5 x-rays will come out only next week. I had the radiographer trying to tie my hair for me cos I suck at it.

***

Have some leave to clear before September, despite my pathetic number of annual leave, and if boss allows, I might want to accumulate it for a long, long trip end of this year.

If not, after my current project, a short backpacking trip might not seem too bad an idea too.

Let’s see where my spontaneity brings me this time.

Of course, time to fix my back if I wanna shoulder that backpack.

***

On a sidenote, Taylor Lautner really bloomed.

Gee, how many more days before he turns legal huh?

***

Yet another note.

The dangers of keeping a tube of sunscreen and a tube of deep heat in your bag at the same time is…

- When you are looking for deepheat at night for some soothing, you might actually be wearing sunscreen in the total darkness.

- But it certainly beats when you walk into the hot sun in the morning, and wondering why your cheeks are burning, and your eyes are blinking excessively as you feel the sharp, intrusive pain.

Posted in Life's Fillers | 2 Comments »

Back-killer

July 20th, 2009 by admin

I know I haven’t been exactly kind to my back, but helping out a friend to check out fashion-related sites for an upcoming “project” of hers (stay tuned, peeps!), kinda made the sloth-shopper in me slightly tickled.

Okay, fine, the sentences above when put together simply don’t make sense.

Switching windows with my heart thinly spread is absolutely not bringing my focus back to this space.

As I was saying, checking the sites make me have this impulse to reach for the credit-cards with almost zilch bandwidth for anymore of my impulse spending.

And I have been lusting for the things that probably I shouldn’t even be thinking, for my poor back’s sake.

Ah, if only my lust for bags could remain consistent.

I have a weakness for Marciano shoes after I had a very good experience with my CFM pair(the trippings and clumsiness are my own doings, not the poor babies’ fault). Okay, that’s besides this pair of over-the-top Alexander McQueen I tried on in Bicester. With my pink tights, seriously, you cannot get more CFM than this:

Okay, and also the one when I said I was in love with both the Valentino and Giuseppe Zanotti shoes I once blogged about (I too lazy to link).

Then again, those are probably more realistic after I finish paying off all the instalments of debts.. but I still can lust right?!

SO.

I saw something I really like.

Then it became, I saw some things I really like.

Then, became, I saw some things I totally love.

Then, became, wah lau, I wanna go fix my back so I can buy!!! Like NOW. Fix my back that is, not buy.. not so impatient…

… but of course I am thinking if I buy now and then I will have an incentive to go fix my back, and my right, shorter leg lah.

But, you tell me, when you see something like this…… HOW CAN YOU NOT BE TEMPTED?! I saw the silver version first, but when I saw the red Tam Heel, it was like a match made in heaven… like Windows 7 is to PC (ahem).

And then…

This one is in my dreams, of course, and I don’t think I will spend the kind of moolah on shoes.

But this pair of Louboutin damn pretty can.

And I am in the mood for some outrageously vibrant CFM shoes..

I probably can only lust for shoes with ankle support unfortunately.

Such shoes can be good flyswatter in real life, when you just wanna fend off those strange, strange, strangers.

Gotta be real careful so you don’t kill anyone with them when you are angry. Not only because they are preciously expensive (and the fact you have to part with them if you go to prison, then how?!), but I bet it would be much more fulfilling to aim straight for the groin.

Wah, so many, I shall go do some shoe soul-searching now.

PS: BBG (Bubblegummers) have the nicest shoes too.

Posted in MateriaLust | 15 Comments »

Sinful Sunday

July 20th, 2009 by admin

Homecooked meal. Checked.

Heavy nap. Checked.

Work. Checked.

Laundry. Checked.

Email. Checked.

Hot tea. Checked.

Not staining my bed. Checked.

Spanking the lil one (affectionately). Checked.

Watch people play tennis. Checked.

Lie to Me. Checked.

New dress. Checked.

Blog. Checked.

Armpit hair. Plucked!

Postcards from Hanoi. Received!

Avoid conflict with mum. Checked.

Another long planning session ahead…. ZzzZzzz

Wrapping Sunday up with an early night (ahem, by my standard), right after a sinful dosage of Popeye’s.

Posted in Life's Fillers | 2 Comments »

TKI

July 19th, 2009 by admin

It stands for Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument.

Besides testing our survival instinct during the kick-off, the other interesting highlight is having our conflict solving/management skills dissected.

I held my results awkwardly, not unexpected by the analysis.

Unfortunately, we had to actually head out to the large area outside the ballroom, and gathered before the sign that says which of the 5 groups we belonged to.

I was silently thinking that I might be the only one to be in the group I was in. Bummer.

Seriously, I was quite the typical one in my group, until my boss, and my senior in the same department(okay, in our department, there is only my boss, her and me) strolled towards the group, and I pointed at them and giggled silly.

We had to jot down when do we use “avoidance” as conflict management, I declared, “When you see your boss nearby.”

With my department being known for its brilliance, I started feeling, ahem, just a lil better about myself to fall under the “Avoiding” group, apart from Collaborating, Accommodating, Compromising and Competing. All of us use a bit of each at different times, but the core one is just the one you tend to sway towards most of the time.

Hurhurhur, I got lowest for competing, which kinda explains my lose-all attitude.

We had to go to other groups to see what they had written down about their strengths, and it was funny when we went up to the “competing” list, and we waved a diva-style dismissal and pooh-pooh their notions.

I thought long and hard about when I use avoidance.

When I don’t know if what I say will aggravate the situation more.

When I think what I say is not of importance.

When I think I don’t know how to handle.

When I think, I am not needed in the picture.

When I think, I might be met with the dejection that will hurt darn lot.

Or maybe, just so it will blank out things so it will hurt less.

Sometimes people try hard to avoid people, avoid memories, avoid reality just to get by days easier, some out of choice, some just out of helplessness, some just out of exasperation, some just out of the need for space, some just out of.. some just.. I don’t remember.

I remember I went speechless recently during a presentation. I just froze, and words ran out after a night of preparation.

I packed my stuff and for a few days avoided my boss, though there was nothing personal, and I went to work in a room so I could feel somewhat safe in an enclosed environment.

To the point he came up to me to ask me if I was afraid of him. I thought for a while and gave an earnest nod with widened eyes.

I thought of the friends I just shied away when.. I had much things to say, but never gotten to, cos I have no balls.

I thought of days I lock myself in the room so to avoid confrontation with my mum.

And then I realise I would rather be Collaborating than Avoiding.

I don’t know why, but like I said to a friend before I headed to Hanoi, that perhaps in a strange presentiment, that I might find something unexpected.

I actually found part of myself unexpectedly, though I had dreaded the trip. It was just a simple, sweet, sweet case of serendipity. Don’t we just love it?

I found the energy level I had lost, overcame a little fear of public speaking, be a lil adventurous, and just totally liberated.

I looked into the eyes of some people whom I avoided eye-contact most of the time.

And the unmentionable things that happened when everyone was intoxicated and I lived to tell the tales (hahahaha! If  I wanna keep my job most probably I can’t tell). Let’s just say seeing the guys running away from a drunk to avoid being dry-humped from the back was a common sight on that fateful night.

I laughed a lot during the trip.

My pace was slowed during the trip.

My horizon was broadened.

A damaged part was healing well, not just superficially.

For that, I am thankful.

And pictures coming soon!

Posted in Making Sense of Life | No Comments »

Lie to me

July 19th, 2009 by admin

This is a must-see for all ladies, and a series you probably wanna bar your men from watching.

Am just hooked to this, and plus the reading up I had done regarding body languages and movements of eyes, it pretty much sets a pace of a series with ample potential.

Do you know that when someone looks to the side, it doesn’t mean he is lying? Someone once told me this is how she catches lies, and I know she ain’t the only one.

I know it doesn’t work that way. The person would just be conscious about it and the more he won’t look anywhere. A liar would look you in the eyes, so he could observe if you are taken in by the lies.

I am also conscious of my habit when I recall things I tend to look to my left, trying to dig deep into my memories. I was like that with my counsellor in respond to his questions.

(I am tempted to tell my counsellor I am turning lesbian, just to see how he would react, I might just do so on my next session. He is from the church infamous for being homophobic, you see)

Anyway. I particularly enjoyed the scene when they wanted to recruit this lady who has exception deception-reading skills and they asked, “Do you have any special deception training?”

“I’ve dated a lot of men.” came the reply.

And the male employee in the company who has radical honesty and would always say the truth, even why he was late.

I like the series already.

Posted in Senseless Quickies | 8 Comments »
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