Had a hearty dinner at Jurong Point last night, and I got home hungry enough to finish another bowl of rice.

It was finally nice to talk, though… I have to say it was a lil constipated and what I had wanted to say never quite really gotten out right like how I would like it to be. Over fags and bubble tea.

Ever since that night of outburst, no tears, no nothing.

I have told myself this is the pick-myself-up week and things are indeed picking up -beams-

Walk on, baybeh, walk on.

Still a little daunted by minor incidents here and there, with the family and all minute, tiny little agendas here and there, but all in all, I am finer than I thought I would be.

I still feel a little hollow at times, and there are places which are still raw which I refused to venture into, yet at times I would sneak in there to just make myself feel the pain enough to remind me the reason to be tougher and angry.

I know it is still building up somewhere, which I am ignoring, but I know given enough time, it will soon go away.

And then comic relief came when we were sitting down on steps, and a guy in white shirt and pants came up to us.

And his opening sequence made me just blink and… I have no words to describe my expression, really.

I tried hard not to burst out laughing in front of Wifey, and she was sniggering as I was dying of embarrassment. I could have burst out in tears.

And then, the follow up statement.

“Are you married?”

I was half tempted to just blurt out “I have a 2 and half year old daughter in need of father figure, do you think you can manage?”

And in Wifey’s words, I was “dishevelled and was peering through thick glasses”.

He looks like a pervert. Those very decent, meek looking kind.

After he walked away, I ranted, “Can anything be stranger for me, ever?”

I always say God has a sense of humour with me.

We went on to shop(dying to buy something) and I want to head out in my new curtains!

I played Word Challenge again till it was really, really late. I finally figured out the switch to next board function and realised I have been trying so hard for nothing lor!

I had strange dreams last night, again. Not the spiritual nightmares, but just unpleasant dreams.

I woke up with strange sounds outside my window before I realised painting work is going on (note to self: stop strutting around naked!).

Dad woke up late too and I had a lift to work, and my notebook is still not ready and I have to make do with the silly spare sets.

The amount of health security deployed outside my building is…. excessive.

We went to Sim Lim for walkabout, before having a heavy lunch which accounts for a major food coma.

I feel like taking a dump, and feel like going home to do so.

I am just totally random. Woohoo.

Colleague and I were discussing how to double our money and he took one a 50-dollar note and folded it into half “Nah, doubled”.

It was so sadly funny, oddly lame that I burst out laughing.

I want to have $100,000 savings in the next 4 years, which was what he said is considered “decent savings”. I half contemplated to head to casino and place my entire savings on black or red.

But I don’t have the gambling luck. I am never one who has luck, so I am not going to take the risk, nor the chance. I have taken enough with my life, I think.

Time to get out of comfort zone, and embark on a journey of true, genuine change, and search for the self I have lost.