I finally succumbed to the painkillers again last night, and it was the wrongest choice.

I had the strangest rest ever.

Can you imagine being awake and conscious yet resting and dreaming?

Then the surrealism of reality and subsconsciousness and dreams mix altogether?

I could feel every touch, and even to the sound of passing buses, the clock striking as every hour passed, and I could even remember the dream and dissecting the dream with my alert, logical mind.

Breathe. Shallow. In, out, slow and steady.

I could even remember telling myself how good it feels to have the duvet against my skin, my baby pillow against my cheeks, plenty of warmth, and unexpected whispers of “love you so much..” from an equally unconscious one, despite totally knocked out and unconscious.

***

There was this part that was pretty hilarious when I was suddenly being shaken in my sleep when I was facing away.

My mind was conscious of me being shook pretty hard, and I was too tired to respond.

It was the sense of urgency in the voice laced with ample panic that finally that gotten a response from me.

“Sweets, you okay?! Sweets! Sweets!!”

No response from me.

It was repeated with double the urgency before it stunned me enough before I groggily replied, “I am okay… what’s wrong…?”

I think I might have stopped breathing shallow or become absolute still in my sleep or something, and he was checking if I was having a reaction to my medication, since I always reflected how my breathing became too shallow and how my medication affects me on and off.

Ahem, sorry to disappoint you, I haven’t die yet, giggles.

***

It was an interesting 4-persons lunch after I was asked to join them for lunch. Gave Aunty Dorene and her guest a surprise when I made an appearance.

I can’t say enough how much I miss London, and Rome, and the relaxed and chilled pace had done me plenty of good.

Just like how recently, slowing my pace here and there brought me much peace.

***

My parents are still not talking to each other.

It was pretty funny when tiny issues like milk powder have to be solved with me being the middle person.

Gee.