It was a pleasant weekend.

It was uncle’s birthday dinner at Shangri-La, where I kept conversations to the minimal, and then when the topic was brought up for my plans for this coming year end.

And out of nowhere, the awkward suggestion of getting married to get a flat was brought up, got more unromantic or not?!

We headed over to Aunty Naomi’s, where I put my portable Selphy into good use.

Everyone was pretty amused and awed by the little, mean machine that churned out pretty pictures of the family and Minibean that brought smiles to everyone’s face. Everyone had something to keep, and it kept everyone happy.

They prayed for my back, and suddenly they prayed something that was once prayed for when I was in church camp many years ago, without knowing anything prior to that. Sometimes, faith works in strange little ways.

Got back, popped some medications, chilled, and just lazed. Not forgetting counting coins and be called a genius when I fixed something someone couldn’t. Giggles.

Sometimes seeing ourselves in the mirror and looking at the reflections of what was, what is and what could have been…. all we need is to have a little light on, and a little change of perspective.

And I finally heard what I had been wanting to hear.

Surprises, surprises. Don’t they just take you when you least expected it?

They are not called surprises for nothing.

***

I didn’t sleep early yesterday and woke up feeling strangely awake.

The prayer said before my sleep yesterday did work wonders and suddenly the peace and revelations that accompanied were.. pretty awesome.

Such clarity, and I am not just about to pretend something I am not. There are some people out there who are just out to win, but life isn’t a competition. Never been one to me. I am not in it with you, but I am only in it if you put me into it. And more often than not, I would gladly hand you the victory.

Whichever way which will make your ego swell

Hey guess what? I don’t feel too bad now!

It was almost storming when I left for work today, but I took heart in the comfort of a car ride to be driven to work.

I didn’t experience any of the heat people complained about for the weekend(my colleagues were all talking about it and I was like – huh? Got meh?), probably cos I was pampered by my solitude without giving a hoot to the rest of the world. Very the liberating.

***

Yes there were the bads. The goods are for me to to relish in and for no one else to judge, to speculate, to.. I don’t know, brag?

Thus the locked space, and no guilt and no self-mindfucking of what kind of things will trigger what reactions.

My consistency for past 7 years, and I am not about to change for anyone.

Sometimes I think, I blog about bad, people think why would I do that, but I am not one who just want to paint a perfect picture of my life, or myself. It is not an indication everything is just bad and nowhere near having a glimpse of hope. When I blog about good, it is also not an indication that everything is rosy, because life certainly isn’t perfect.

Nonetheless, it was just good to be cradled like a baby and to be carried onto the bed to sleep when I was too beat to move. Though the thought that flashed past was, “Gee, am I too heavy?”

***

April is concluding soon, and plans have to be made for May.

Can’t wait for Dad to be back for me to finally… make plans.