I woke up this morning with her right next to me.

She burrowed her head into me, and rolled onto my sides, wanting me to hug her.

She leaned on my right shoulder sometimes, before she would toss and turn, with her back to me, so I could cuddle her from the back(coincidentally, that’s how mummy loves to be hug too!).

She would fit her face closely next to mine, and blinked her pretty eyes at me, and then just stared at me.

I kissed her face repeatedly to say “Morning baby” in my still-drowsy state.

I had an arm under her and I would bend my elbow to roll her closer to me, occasionally give her a tight squeeze.

It has been a while since she woke up next to me, like this.

And laughing myself silly after she tried walking around in my heels last night(and she didn’t even trip after wearing it for a good 15 minutes and walking around!!), had her calling out for me to carry her… without others trying to vie for her attention.

Gosh. It was such a pretty night.

I felt a great sense of peace today.

And with that, we woke up to get ready for church service.

She loves it there, and I felt the peace within again.

She sang, she danced, she praised, she prayed, she worshipped, she coloured, and she even attended a party of a baby’s first birthday.

I miss going to church.

Though she got cranky in the afternoon, possibly from having too little sleep, and she scratched my face. I ignored her, until she said sorry to me with the sweetest grin(which doesn’t show she is truly sorry at all, yet you just can’t fault her for anything with that smile).

How do you say “I love you” to someone with so much emotions that you constantly have tears in your eyes, and you have to hold your breath to say it…? I have no idea, for I never thought this is possible, either.

And you stare.. and you stare.. and you observe each and every inch of her face… studying her features.. and it brings such pain and peace.

It just aches me when I think she deserves so much more, and I wish there is more I could do.