I am now blogging from my desktop, and replying emails on my work notebook at the same time.

Both are plugged into the modem, and it is just very strange cos I am on MSN on the other, and well, blogging/gmailing on this.

Both serve different functions at the same time, though they could well be the same. Then again, there are differences limitations, and certain levels of comfort.

But it just seem so silly that I am working on both at the same time, isn’t it?

***

Minibean is still needy(and it was nice when she kept asking for me, and I had to bring her walk around the living room, with her in my arms), and still not getting any better. So, I have to bring her to the PD soon.

When I had to concentrate on some emails or give instructions over phone calls, I had to lock my door so she wouldn’t barge in(yes, she is now tall enough, and smart enough to open doors), and hearing her crying for me outside the door is… just.. heartbreaking.

***

Did I mention I have a migraine again today?

***

The office building’s lift landing has a life of its own, I swear.

For the X-th time in the 1 month plus I am here.. the strangest encounters I have.

Okay, yah, the OG incident, and more, obviously.

Like, say, I bumped into Dick Su, who was filming there.

Like, say, I bumped into my Primary 1 classmate who works in same building after not seeing him for… 15 years(we both in same primary 5 and 6 class).

Like, say, how I was returning from my favourite spot in the office building(more on it in a while) with my colleague, he casually asked if I felt cold.

I actually like cold, I replied, and suddenly the mental image of Moscow and its brilliant weather in May came to mind.

I thought of the trip, my only decent trip in the past 10 years, and how I miss it.

Then, when the lift door open, I saw someone, who looked vaguely familiar.

I trying to put his face to somewhere, and I casually brush it off as one of the colleagues from other floors…

But since the Moscow image was fresh in mind, it suddenly jolted something within.

“Hey! You went Moscow, right?” I asked.

He took a while to recover from a slight visible shock, before I said I was the girl on the same flight as him. In fact, we took the same flight back after meeting up in the airport.

Okie, sans makeup, sans contact lens, and sans bangs.

It was so freaky man! I was just thinking about Moscow. And then the adrenaline rush came back as I thought of the common bond – Manchester United.

He passed me his card, and he is a partner in the same law firm(remember what I said about lawyers in my building?) as my primary school mate. What a small world. Really. What a small world.

***

Oh, I found my peace.

However brief.

This is the place I would sit with my legs up on the seat, and bringing my knees close to my chest as I stare into the sky… sometimes getting my rays of sunshine on a sunny day, or the cool breeze I had on this very day when it was cloudy in the evening.

Some peace, and quietness.

This is also the day, when I had brilliant me-time.

The day…

… I could breathe.

I bought myself me-time, by going to work in cab(yes, peak hour), and back to home, in cab(yes, don’t remind me).

Honestly I can’t remember how much I paid for cab fare, but I was just very glad to be away from the crowd, the intimidating human traffic… the buzz.. the fear.

I kept conversation with the cab drivers to the minimal. I remember drifting off to a deep sleep in the cab on returning.

It was a good one.

I had a migraine again, but then I let it manifest itself over the entire course of the day. I didn’t feel the need of painkillers.

Maybe cos, I needed to feel the pain to feel less numb.

My blade was no longer sharp. I need a new one.

***

Be still, my heart. Be very still.

I am in love.

My heart raced…. I swooned… and I was charmed.

This is what the evilness of having a harmless desktop running in the background can do to you.

I am not that big a shoe fan, so when I swoon and have this insatiable lust for something… it sure gotta be something that captures my heart.

I am quite the fussy sort of person, if you haven’t already knew.

And….

OMG OMG OMG. Breathe, Ting, breathe.

How lovely is that?

Alas, as I turned my head around, I saw another one… and the my breathing became shallow…

Almost getting an orgasm already lah(since I think it is the only possible way of me getting one these days).

Gasp.

I can’t decide which one I like more, since they are of such different styles. And both have to come at the same price!

I nearly whipped out my credit card and paid 630 bucks for each pair(on sale!). But, I, being the ultimate stingy ass, would probably just get blue-balled by these and not act on it.

So, I know I would end up with neither pair.

You see, I am such a clumsy wuss that I probably would have tripped in either pair, or that I would spoil them along the way.

Seriously, they should belong to those dainty, pretty, sophisticated chicks who know how to appreciate a good pair of shoes, and do them justice. I will probably make them look cheap, and… probably fall(very badly, I might add), in them.

I seem to be lusting for a lot of unrealistic stuff these days.

It is not helping that it is the holiday season. I wanted to get something for myself(I nearly bought a Marc Jacobs bag in KL – RM 3700 after 50% discount, and when I got back to SG, I still heart the Neo Cabby I never had the heart to buy. Eh! Why ah? Why must there always be a choice?).

It seems that I am buying for the sake of buying, and not really because I need them. In the same breath, I am actually too broke to afford, and maintaining them might be more of a chore than I think it is. And like I said, I probably don’t have the poise to do them justice.

Like my Eva Clutch, which has conveniently went back to the shops after its chain broke under my care. I think the number of months it is going to spend in there, is going to be longer than the time I actually own it.

Yet, it is the insatiable urge to treat myself that is acting on my hormones.

My deprivation must be having a voice of its own.