Scarlett Ting says:
i just want to be mj wifey and safely tucked away in a small flat in -insert effy’s address-, cooking in the kitchen, feeeding ang moh housemates with durians and play Guitar Hero on the Xbox360 and… a game of mahjong with whoever we chose to bestow the privilege to.while my wifey serve me a glass of iced ribena after a long jog from my place to hers.
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Hurhurhur.
In a conversation with my colleague, who is someone whom I look upon as a mentor today, the book-reader(he reads people like a book, and I wanted to die when he said he could read me like a book) said, “I am not afraid you make the same mistakes. I don’t think you will cos you are too paranoid.”
I reacted with widened eyes, and sheepish giggles, “Paranoid?! What?! Me?!”
Yah, then it hit me.
I am just a paranoid freak.
I swear I could have cringed and slid down the chair as he evaluated me. Brutal honesty brings me back to planet earth, and I SM-ly like it.
And I have another revelation of the day, and it is just cool to have people whom you can *thumps chest* to.
And then I wonder, am I really like what they say, that I have been left to my own defenses for far too long, and it has become my 2nd nature.
Subconsciously, I might not have wanted it any other way.
Maybe it is the survival instinct kicking in.
Maybe it is the black crayon clenched tightly in my palms(did I mention Minibean took a black crayon and doodled happily recently. 4 pieces of masterpiece came out of it, and she needed a shower thereafter. She was happy).
Maybe it is the Angels and Demons burning inside of us.
We wondered what is wrong with us. And then we cheekily deduced we are… flawed in one way. The way I once blogged that we are.
Mahjong kakis will know. 
And isn’t it easy to suddenly.. *poof* and you leave behind a trail of questions you need not give answers for?
Cos sometimes, when I am looking for answers, many people fail to realise I myself, is incapable of giving any.
I wouldn’t be searching, if I can give the answers.
***
Song of the moment:
Come out upon my seas, curse missed opportunities (am I)
A part of the cure, or am I part of the disease (singing)
