Archive for September, 2008

Indecisive Piscean

Okay.

I woke up with worse pain than the day before.

Now, I have a crazy idea of braving the afternoon sun, and jog my way to BBDC.

Yes people, watch out, for I am ready to take on the roads, terrorising other drivers, posing as a threat to pedestrians, and being a hazard to those driver instructors.

Okay, not really.

I am just going there to have my records transferred(bear in mind that the records are almost… 8-9 years ago), and start from scratch again.

I decide to brave manual(like seriously, I must be either mad or PMS-sy).

But I have not decided if I should take on a private instructor or a school instructor.

Decisions, decisions.

Anyone has cute good private instructors to recommend?

Fainting from alcohol

I am bored, restless, and just… too awake even at this time.

So.

I went to google for an explanation of why do I always black out, faint, or simply collapse after drinking.

My record was less than 1cm of red wine from the wine glass, which embarrassed me enough in Harry’s at Shenton Way when I… just fell to the ground, pretty much scaring their patrons.

http://www.iowastatedaily.com/articles/2000/02/02/import/20000202-archive3.txt

Then I read the article above, and all I can say that the above findings are the way they are because they have NEVER MET ME!!!

And I still can’t find the reason why I would react to alcohol this way. Sulks.

The missing piece to the puzzle

It must be a mockery of irony as I typed in this title, my MP3 song list had brilliantly, randomly played the song “The pieces don’t fit anymore”.

I am screwed over and over by my hormones.

I think it is just freaky that few days back I re-read my archives, and found an old post, about a friend who had passed on.

I read through the comments.

Then, one name stood out, which vaguely reminded me of a certain someone whom I met over the course of work recently.

Couldn’t be. I thought. Though I played with the idea that I could perhaps ask the next time I see the person.

I conveniently forgot, and since I am moving on, it is unlikely.

Strangely, the said person added me on facebook today.

We started a short and brief facebook chat, and she suddenly asked if I used to blog under this online persona, since my facebook’s name, is well, related.

I was shocked. And then she mentioned him. Then it hit me. Oh my God. Freaky.

***

At the same time, an old boss called in the midst of the chat.

Impeccable timing, I should say. And it feels strangely surreal to be reminiscing the past one year….

I am strangely emotional today. Though rationally so.

***

A primary-one classmate of mine and I started talking as I responded to his desire to have CHANGE in my motherland.

Speaking of which, it is strange I have at least 5 or 6 adds of facebook friends, all from my primary school in the past few days. Ahhh! Nooo!!

My family had returned to the said motherland today, and I am not sure if I am totally at ease, or the fact that I could ever trust them to my country.

And then, it became a candid conversation.

And a challenge to find the said pictures of me in bright pink spectacles.

I happily decided that a jobless person like me, would go do something about it when the rest of the world goes to sleep(or goes to supper without inviting me).

So, I searched.

The first thing I found fuelled the anticipation.

And it was the first sign that I am someone who stuff my memories at the back of somewhere, never throwing them away.

My primary 2 exercise book! OMG.

Don’t ask me why there were 4 digits there. But I recognised it as my mum’s handwriting.

So, this book is 19 years old, at least.

LIKE SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?!?!

Just as I was laughing at the memories… the ghosts came tumbling out of the closet.

It is funny how fast moods can swing extreme ways.

I saw the pictures of the 2nd ex I.. well, explore adulthood with.

Then I saw the picture of the other ex I bumped into recently, and spoke to briefly.

Then I saw… the ex whom I wrote so much of in the past in the beginning of this blog.

I stuffed them away quickly as I found them.

Then I searched.

Then, I still couldn’t find the one I was looking for.

I searched.

Yet, the pieces of the puzzle… were more than I could take.

Out came Charissa’s first lock of hair(A LOT LEH!), her dried up cord… and many other memories…

Then I found… the pictures of another friend, and I thought of how he had left us, 6 years ago. To be reminded of 2 friends who passed away in one night.. just feels strange.

Then I searched the drawer my brr brr is in.

And. Gasp. I found it.

And then, right next to it, I found this…

….

Signed. Checked. Processed. 10th May 2006.

I swear I could have burst out crying.

I bit my lips with the relief knowing that I was too much of a coward to go through with it.

I should have chucked away memories that don’t belong anymore.

Like not stuff them at the back of the closet, but really, throw them into the bin.

All I did, was to put them back where they belong, and maybe just like the exercise book that serves no purpose other than to remind me of the past, they just might stay for another 19 years.

***

當 我和世界不一樣 那就讓我不一樣
堅持對我來說 就是以剛克剛

我 如果對自己妥協 如果對自己說謊
即使別人原諒 我也不能原諒

最美的願望 一定最瘋狂
我就是我自己的神 在我活的地方


我和我最後的倔強 握緊雙手絕對不放

下一站是不是天堂 就算失望不能絕望
我和我驕傲的倔強 我在風中大聲的唱
這一次為自己瘋狂 就這一次 我和我的倔強

對 愛我的人別緊張 我的固執很善良
我的手越骯髒 眼神越是發光

你 不在乎我的過往 看到了我的翅膀
你說被火燒過 才能出現鳳凰

逆風的方向 更適合飛翔
我不怕千萬人阻擋 只怕自己投降


我和我最後的倔強 握緊雙手絕對不放

下一站是不是天堂 就算失望不能絕望
我和我驕傲的倔強 我在風中大聲的唱
這一次為自己瘋狂 就這一次 我和我的倔強

***

I swear this hormonal phase is unhealthy…

If I don’t bleed any sooner, I will probably turn psychotic.

I am feeling so fat it isn’t even funny. My favourite past-time is squishing my tummy fats and willing them to go away.

Of course, if I can do that, I will probably be the world’s richest woman, as I will become every girl’s new best friend forever.

Getting fit

With a fresh beginning looming in the near future, my 6 days break began in quite an unusual fashion.

I bought myself a pair of running shoes yesterday afternoon.

I left office at around 7pm with a big bag of my belongings(well I had quite good amount of space, which I was told will not be a luxury for me when I start on my new job), got home, and was surprised baby was still around.

I spent some time with her before she went into the room… then I dressed my smelly self into my running gear, which I had problems locating, simply because I hadn’t ran for a long, long while.

So…. I started running, and running, and running.

The my mini coin purse was bouncing off my chest until I cannot tahan, so I stuffed it into my sports bra, close to my chest. Giggles.

So I ran. I was almost giving up when I neared Clementi, until a call to Effy, with a glass of iced Ribena, a bag of twisties, and rocking to Guitar Hero as promise, I fuelled my run with the song “Paint it Black” running through my head.

I paced myself to the imaginary rhythm, and boy, did I run.

So, I finally reached my destination, which is a mere 10km away, which took me an hour and half to reach. Tsk, I should bow my head in shame for I got breathless so easily, and I was a literal wimp when I passed the forested area, where I had to call several people to ask them to be on the phone with me so I wouldn’t like fall into a ditch or something.

My new shoes didn’t break in well for my right foot which swell during the run, and I have quite bad blisters on my foot now. :(

I reached Effy’s(with the Ribena almost frozen) and it is no surprise which song we started with. And then we played “I hate myself for loving you” and many others until it was past 1am.

I contemplated running back, but I think the option of cab was more appealing.

I got back, and went straight for the shower I had so craved for… and it was a brilliant, brilliant evening.

Though I almost forgot what it would bring.

I had a hard time getting out of bed, feeling the sores and aches, and I had to drag myself out to an event to meet my new colleagues.

I met JD for lunch at Vivocity foodcourt before I carried all my jitters to Movida.

I walked with a slight limp as my legs felt like they couldn’t bend well. And well, I walked like I had too much…. ahem, workout the night before.

Everything went pretty well, and they look like an extremely cool bunch of people, though I was absolutely shy at first.

Eventually, my soon-to-be boss had to shoo me home to have a good rest over the next few days so… that I could be well-prepared for the “madness” ahead. Though someone did ask me if I want to stay for the evening event so I could drink.

I laughed at the idea, and my soon-to-be boss told me I probably would have to get one of my colleagues to “protect” me next time, cos “oh yeah, these guys do drink man“.

Uhm. Okay.

I started to look for somewhere where I could get a pair of goggles, so I could end my day with yet another strain to my very sore muscles(I can’t even walk up and down the steps!).

I met up with Effy at the swimming complex near my place(she lost her goggles on the cab, bimbo! I bought mine and she bought hers again hehe), where we swam more and longer laps at the very cold pool(so cold that she told me I should wear bikini with a layer of paddings next time, before I told her my bikini did come with that…), and we let the mocked waves toss us around with force(oh yes baby, harder), and we went to dip at the baby pool(baby went back this afternoon while I was at Movida… I felt quite, lost).

We rewarded ourselves with a big feast of KFC Zinger and the fabulous iced tea. Woohoo.

Another great, great day.

Things are moving, and picking up, let’s hope tomorrow will be yet another fulfilling day. I have not thought of what to do, but I pretty much have an idea.

Maybe a movie by myself, television/couch shopping, removing the television and cot from my room by myself.

Or maybe, simply wake up after noon, and nurse those sore muscles with a book in bed.

Everything sounds great, though the potential threat of the bleeding might just ruin all the plans.

Butterfactory tomorrow night, anyone? Though I am not sure what hazards such aching muscles in heels might bring. Of course, fun is not on my mind, I am just thinking about, well, building up the tolerance.

The finale

It is almost surreal.

Today is my last day with Toshiba(like seriously, isn’t it obvious enough?), and I have always been a wuss when it comes to goodbye.

Sending out emails, and finding myself at a loss for words.

Nonetheless, it signals a brand new beginning, which I should look forward to.

And boy, what a new beginning. Just when I was feeling a little lost, a little aimless….

… The new company called to ask if I would be free tomorrow, so I could attend a launch event, without knowing I will be discharged from Toshiba today.

So suddenly, I am feeling scared, nervous, uncertain -insert anxiety here- about…… unmentally prepared to meet new people.

I can be incredibly shy can?

And that pretty much means I will be meeting most of the new colleagues tomorrow, and I will be so filled with jitters that I can’t breathe.

I thought I could have a relaxing break, holing up at home, away from the rest of the world, backblogging… but I think the timing couldn’t be more impeccable… just when I was complaining of being lost for the next 6 days.

Now.. I swear my palms are sweating at the thought of tomorrow!

Songs to sing for your farewell

When we stepped into the karaoke, I joked that every song we chose for the night, must be somewhat linked to our departure(since HH and I are leaving within a day of each other).

HH kept saying how I had snatched his glory by leaving earlier than him by a day.

And then, the songs we chose, were very “entertaining” – in Sidney’s words.

And it kinda prompted harmless laughs from everyone.

Now, here, I shall share the song list, for whichever I can remember.
Zhang Huimei – Ji De/Jie Tuo/Jian Ai

Cao Ge – Bei Pan

Li Shengjie – Shou Fang Kai

Zhou Huajian – Qi Shi Bu Xiang Zou/Rang Wo Huan Xi Rang Wo You

Liang Jinru – Fly Away

Lu Qiaoyin – Zhi Shao Zou De Bi Ni Zao

Cai Yilin – Jia Zhuang

Sun Yanzi – Tian Hei Hei

Huang Lihong – Say goodbye

Sammi Cheng – Zhi De/Bu Tuo Bu Qian

Let me recall more, and I will update this as it goes.

“You’re no fun”

So after my previous post, I kinda dozed off.

It was half past 7 when I woke up, and realised it would be too late for any of those things I planned to do.

Feeling absolutely aimless, I spent the lazy Saturday in bed, and resigned to the fact that I would waste another weekend, just like that.

It was 10ish when the invitation came in, and was rejected.

And all it took was a “You’re no fun” reply in response to my unwillingness, and I hopped out of bed, searching for the long-forgotten contact lens case, and started psyching myself for the night out.

Reverse psychology ALWAYS works on me. Tsk.

And then I extended the invitation, and I was ready to pop someone’s cherry(Giggles).

WT turned up within half an hour(after he had been at the hospital since waking up at 6am.. so I supposed 7am?), and I braved his JB-driving to meet up with the rest at Zion Road.

After not seeing WT for 15 long years, it is just strange to see that he never did age. And what’s worse is I feel like an absolute auntie. A cranky one.

Somemore, he Zouk virgin, you know?

Nonetheless, the night was a great one, plenty of pictures to follow in time to come, though I seriously am feeling old to stay out till 5.30am, and going to bed only at 6.45am.

WT had absolutely no problem waking up 7am for his 8am to 10pm work today. I am awed.

My wifey and I had problems sleeping more, as if there is some evil force to keep us awake however tired we are.

And now, I brace for my last work day tomorrow… and feeling a little moroseness washing over me.

Boredom

This is what extreme boredom can cause – indecisiveness.

I woke up and couldn’t decide what to do, especially when Minibean is abducted by my parents to meet some of their peers, for what I call the routine “Showing-off-Minibean” circus.

I was jokingly telling someone that by the time she knows how to write, I am sure she will have her own autograph-sessions.

Feeling a little lost, a little of everything(especially after last evening of activities), I am not sure how to occupy the rest of the day.

Swim? Jog(that means a trip to Queensway is a MUST)? Blade(I searched high and low for the blades until I think Effy was already in East Coast when I finally found them)? Blog(I am doing it now, but I don’t have the scandalous pictures from last night to illustrate the fabulous night)? Grocery shopping and then cook tonight?

Actually you know what changed my plans?

The fact that I was having lunch alone and started to think if I am going to be food-poisoned again.

Then did I realise, the curry I was having tasted… simply strange. I swear it tasted off. And I took quite a while to realise, cos I just kept trying to curry, to make sense of the taste until I finally convinced myself the food had gone bad.

So I am a bit apprehensive of heading any where, except for a swim, or running an errand, I guess.

Though I have an incredible urge to buy an airticket and fly somewhere.

I really want to go US. I don’t know why. London is cool too.

I. Need. A. Holiday.

I even joked to my colleagues that I will be so bored during my break that I would go find them for lunch or go back to pack my table.. or just you know, hang out.

So I still can’t decide what to do and am absolute restless.

Oh well, the thought of doing everything at the same time seems quite appealing too.

The farewell I

I went to work the way I always should this morning.

Walk to MRT, take train to Queenstown/Commonwealth, change to bus, cross the road, pass the tunnel, cut through building A, before arriving at building B.

I was late, but it was a quiet morning on the roads, just the way I liked it.

Mum fell sick, and had yet another bout of tummy upset, woke up early and asked me to help her to find medication.

I couldn’t find any.

Baby was up early, and she leaned against me, cheek-to-cheek, as I squatted down next to her.

She is an understanding chick now. She waved to me and gave me a kiss just as I headed out of the door, instead of bursting into tears like how she would, in the past.

***

The trip to the doctor’s yesterday.

When I took this picture, he asked what was I taking.

And then he said, “Why don’t take me? Take me lah.”

I think I was so random that he was taken aback.

Yet when I took his picture, he became camera shy. Or maybe he was just showing me the ring on his finger.

Oh well.

And when he tried to tell me to buy the supplements, I asked him how much. And I turned it down flatly. “Money wise huh,” he said. Frugal, baby, frugal, or you can call me cheapskate too.

***

On Wednesday, I had lunch with the colleagues at IKEA.

And this will be one of the things I miss. IKEA lunches.

The afternoon was great, cos I bumped into Jiali, my loveliest buddy whom I haven’t seen… since… since.. since…. I don’t know.

It was great seeing you again, babe :)

***

Oh, and my farewell lunch at Vivocity yesterday.

Obviously, I stayed away from the 1-For-1.

It was just a small luncheon with May, Audrey and my 2 bosses.

The food was pretty good :) And it went pretty well with my queasy tummy.

And… my farewell gift. Hahaha.

A cough, 512MB Palachan MP3 player.

Nevertheless, it is an absolute cutie :)

Palachan! Today we have a new Palachan in the office!

And I think I can call it Balachan(giggles).

I naming it after my nickname, okay?

***

Though Monday is my last day, my table is still in a state of frenzy, as if I have no intention to leave at all.

Basically the sphere of influence goes all the way to the other side of the table, into the cabinets, and under my desk.

I have been asked by so many colleagues, “ARE YOU REALLY LEAVING?” with my very “busy” desk, and I dread of the day I have to pack everything. I might need a van.

And I always thought I am a pretty stream-lined person.

***

Lunch was at….

And of course, we would go there for ….

Which is totally wrong……. because, I got food poisoning, remember?

I didn’t even manage to finish my food.

And you know what is the most horrifying thing of all?

No biscuits!!!

And to think my colleagues were saying they were thinking of giving me 10 biscuits as farewell gift, which I excitedly say I wouldn’t mind receiving.

My disappointment was a loud, audible, “HUH!!!!” when I saw the sign, and I swear I sulked pretty badly.

I am PMSsy, and that makes me an incredible sulk when my cravings are not met.

They decided to give in to my demand of having Muthu’s curry(wahahahaha) for farewell dinner tonight, but I think think think, feel feel feel.. I think I will have bunk in the bathroom for the night if I make such an unwise decision.

***

Okay. I just squealed in the office again.

Because the phone this time fell to a very sensitive spot when I listening to radio, to the point I jumped in my seat, and tried to unplugged my earphone from it when the messaged came in with a buzz.

Brrr… brrrr…..

I fumbled, and I accidentally dialed back.

Now I very smart, I place the phone on the table. And it just buzzed without any incidents.

My colleagues were wondering why I giggled until like that.

But it didn’t brr brr long enough.

***

Anyway.

Other random pictures.

I saw these shoes while buying my knee band the other day.

So absolutely cute can??!

The one in the middle is from Adidas, the the right is from Nike. Sooo cute, I tell you. I went ga-ga over them.

And I think the sure sign that I am PMS-sy. I saw a pictorial book of first 2 years of babies.

I saw the first couple of pages, I needed to compose myself in Borders before I start to tear.

Like seriously! Got more emo or not? Then as I continued on, I realise it will be just another 3 months before Minibean is 2, and it will be yet another phase of her life.

I read through the book, and I realised how fast she had passed each phase, braving on intrepidly, and became the pretty princess of the family on her way to conquer the world.

***

So.

The swim on Monday evening :)

My wifey’s feet, and mine :)

Food jinx

My tummy is still churning and aching from yesterday.

When I called home, Mum said that she and the maid both went to see a doctor earlier, cos they were both down with food poisoning. Well, now, make that 3 of us.

Like seriously???!!!!!

AGAIN? What did they do this time?! Don’t tell me it is a case of recycled oil again?

Suddenly homecooked food instilled such intense fear in me. My home is not my safe haven anymore.

To the point that I seriously contemplating of taking over the cooking responsibilities.

You see, no one can complain of me poisoning them, since, they are already doing so to me anyway.