I am feeling incredibly heavy-hearted today.

The verdict is out.

I had a closed-door weekend, where I spent most of my time away from the rain, and stayed indoor. Alas, when I overslept on Sunday(woke up at 6 plus in the evening), the parents had left for JB with baby.

The house is incredibly lonely. And I felt a great sense of loss, and was easily rattled by the quietness of it all.

Can you imagine, I was actually feeling afraid like a child this morning, when it was bright and sunny, just because of the renovation work upstairs?

I have been seeing Minibean for the longest time in these couple of weeks, and she is learning and growing so fast that, it will be hard missing all these little milestones. She is now effectively bilingual, I think. She can count 1 – 5, even though she cannot string a sentence.

She can dance, she can boogie, and she is hot.

I think I didn’t say this nor jot this down earlier, but one and half weeks ago, on a Thursday, I came home to realise her looks had changed.

Her right eye’s double eyelid was peeking out, and her eyes looked BIG.

Now, we are all waiting for her left one to start forming and she would be really, really, awesomely, HOT!

So, here I jot it down ah, don’t malign her for going under the knife for double eye lids next time ah.

The double eyelid was there for 1 and half weeks now, so it isn’t a case of swollen eye, so yay!

***

I was not the only one who was down with a bad tummy on Saturday. Mum and dad got it too, and I was just glad I didn’t feed Minibean off my bowl.

Apparently Mum had reused some oil which was leftover from a week ago, which she didn’t know it was from way back then, cos the maid didn’t throw away.

BAH!

So I had the most veggie(which was cooked with the oil).

Then it was raining on Saturday night and with baby with me, I didn’t bring her out to join the girlies at Esplanade.

Sunday was sleeping. Sleeping. Sleeping.

***

Something was decided today.

My half a year with my present company has been nothing but great. I love the people here.

When I decided to give new opportunities a shot, I definitely didn’t expect it to come so soon. I certainly didn’t plan to leave my job so early into it.

I don’t want to be a career whore, you see.

But then again, when opportunities knocked, and when an interview like mine went this bad(we are looking for someone precise, careful and very meticulous, what’s your flaws? “Erm, I am a bit ditzy, a little clueless, quite careless, and can be quite blur”), yet you still get a pay package that’s pretty fabulous(okay, not the best, but I think with my experience and academic background, I should be kissing the ground), and exciting learning experiences ahead, it is hard not to be swayed.

I was swayed.

Yet when I decided to confess I might be moving on, I cried. Not many people would have this kind of confession, but I felt as if I was cheating and couldn’t suppress it anymore.

I went ahead to tell the management I was considering an offer, and told them how I really didn’t bother to find any other jobs since I joined here, but it was just a temptation of fate(DUH I know I know, I say the darnest things, ever!).

I walked out crying.

LIKE SERIOUSLY! WHERE GOT PEOPLE SO PUSSY LIKE ME ONE?!

So anyway, I know the next job will not be this easy for me, and the challenges for someone like me are definitely there.

So, who knows? I should be getting ready for one hellava bumpy ride.

And yes, while considering all these last night, I failed to sleep.

But now, I know, as much as I hate to leave things behind, these 2 years of happenings, should have made me realise that, sometimes, we need to be pushed, to move on.

If 2 years ago, you ask me where I will be, I would not have guessed. I would not have believed where I am now.

Of course, I don’t know where I will be in another half a year’s time, but I know I won’t be too far from where I planned out to be.