I think the main reason to my grouchiness these days, besides the fact that my brains are fried, is that I am losing faith.

I used to be so hopeful. Hopeful of people, hopeful of friends, hopeful of relationships, hopeful of the good of people.

I stopped being so.

Someday, I wish the hope will come back to me. Yet I am wary that all the disappointments being hopeful might bring.

***

I can’t believe it.

I am still having a fever, and I still can’t to sleep well.

My doctor prescribed me with 3 days of Ponstan, and it is now day 3.

Don’t tell me I have to see a doctor again for the 3rd time in less than a week.

ROARRRR~

Now, I have to pick Minibean up. I didn’t expect that I am still this unwell.

I had a shower and I was shivering throughout, even though the sun was blazing so brightly just now(not sure about now, but I can hear thunder).

I feel weaker today than yesterday and I feel my muscles and tight and aching.

I am whining about this fever so much that I can’t even stand myself anymore.

Have a great weekend peeps!

After watching the magnificent display of Beijing Olympics’ opening(I certainly wasn’t expecting that much! But Chinese being Chinese being the ones who care about “face value” the most… I shouldn’t be THAT surprised), I am seriously awed.

I should know. I am a Chinese, not a Chinese chinese but still a Chinese, so I know how the “cannot lose” mentality works.

And I would love to see how the English top it off at the next game (wah lau, things there so expensive, and if they import also lagi expensive!).

If you have been to China’s trade shows, you will know that they are well capable of coming up of such productions, there is a reason why so many of our stuff are produced in China.

Economical, good, and innovative.

Besides the dazzling display…

My favourite part was the part where I learnt to pronounce all the participating countries’ names(of course the one announce by the commentator and not the live hosts at the stadium), and thinking to myself how I never knew some of these countries exist. And then you realise, this is about sportsmanship, and it doesn’t matter how sensitive some of their backgrounds might be.

I was silently pleased with myself when I trying to gauge when the teams I wanna see are coming out.

As the countries are lined up based on the number of strokes to the Chinese characters, I was glad my “predictions” came pretty accurate – meaning I still remember how to count the strokes to the characters, as well as knowing the characters to these countries well.

So my toilet breaks were nicely timed.

I enjoyed seeing people of different race coming together, and seeing the excitement of the countries who took part in the games for the very first time, and then knowing how some of the countries are too poor and had never won a medal, but still relentlessly take part in every game, because honour to them, is not to have the most splendid ra-ra opening or the most number of medals, BUT completing the competition itself for their countries.

And now…

After watching the opening, how will National Day Parade match up tomorrow?

Of course cannot compare, I know.

Anyway, I am in bed for the 3rd day in a roll. After taking my Ponstans, my fever still hovers at 38 for the whole of today.

Okay, but at least it is 37.9 now. And cos I already took 2 Ponstans at the prescribed timing, I seriously don’t want to OD myself.

So I am just gonna accept the fact that I am just HOT. Like, seriously, very HOT.

I finally took a bite this dinner, and it’s my only meal for the past 2 days.

And after putting on weight, I am half glad seeing 49 on the scales.

But I am not glad how I am still bed-bound.

And today, I am too much of a chicken to shower. Again.