She just cursed that she hopes I will run down by a car.

Get hit when I am on a bike.

Get strike by thunder.

She says she will disown me.

She says she is going to jump down.

She says she will call up the newspaper and television to tell people what I did to her(???), like seriously? All because she is sore cos SHE THINKS I treat the maid better than her.

She says she is going to my office tomorrow to tell the whole world I am useless, lazy, dirty, and irresponsible mum.

Er, though I don’t know how she does that all the same time.

Anyway.

She went into a rage I find so familiar. It seems like I am 16 all over again, the very reason why I know I cannot live with her.

And. She did it in front of my child, something I cannot accept.

I went into my room, and called my auntie, her sister, for help.

I let years of grievances out and let her hear the side of story of what she used to tell people, where she conveniently left out how I was abused by her.

She also used to tell people how useless and naughty I am, when I was a child, the only thing I did was actually, to be never good enough.

Today is the day I regret ever letting her taking care of Minibean. And I am going to change it, at this moment.

And I did what I didn’t do in the past. I broke down and cried, and not let defiance take over.

Strangely, I am smiling and singing to my daughter at the same time to keep her occupied.

I blogged for quite long, so I wondered why didn’t the fucking wordpress even saved a draft.

So I was saying that the equation of having 5 people in the house proved to be a dreadful one, with the drama unfolding so soon into the combinations.

So anyway, it all started this morning when it was such a nice weather to stay in.

When Dad and I were heading out, I reminded my mum of the technician coming today to install a phone line in the hall since the only phone line has always been in my room.

She asked why not install it in her room and I started saying it is also for the maid in case of emergency. She started saying how she would be home anyway, and I replied saying that when she is in Malaysia, and the maid and baby are in Singapore, it will be more convenient.

She got upset.

She started sarcastically saying, “Oh, I see! Baby and maid in Singapore, I return to Malaysia lah.”

Obviously that wasn’t what I meant, and I

…..

Anyway, I am no longer in the mood to re-blog.

The series of things that happened today made me rethink a lot.

I have decided to uproot Minibean, and I spoke to Dad about it. He sounded very down and sad, understandably, but he respected my decision on what is best for her.

I know it sounded very much like impulse, but nah, it is really something I would want to do, to make sure she grows up well and have a healthier environment.