The numerous blue-blacks (clumsiness disfigures you, really) and scarlet scars (damn you mozzies) are making me very depressed. So ugrrreeeee.

Then again, I always get incredibly grouchy, whiney and unhappy when festive season is round the corner, so what’s new, really?

It doesn’t feel like the Chinese New Year is just couple of days away, and I sure ain’t looking forward to it either.

Just thinking about faces I don’t want to see is enough to turn me off. And don’t get me started on the “Should I give ang bao or not…?” issue. Oh for that, I have decided that I am eligible to collect 2 ang pows. Hehehehe.

Maybe I will just gamble/party my new year away.

Called up Dad to ask about the arrangements, and he said most likely Mum will be back tomorrow (oh no!) or the day after. She probably would be cooking, but we might also drop by my uncle’s place for dinner (fucking oh no!) on reunion dinner night.

I outrightly said I wouldn’t be free then(which is abso-fucking-lutely not true, cos no one is going to be free that evening, isn’t it?) and for the first time in my life, I got the freedom to say NO and it was accepted.

YAY!

I mean, really, I’d rather be with baby and be elsewhere where we both will be happy, then to subject ourselves to stifling and fake “happy family” dinners just because of obligations. I mean, that’s what they say right? You have to start your new year happy. But I certainly don’t need to be extremely unhappy on New Year’s Eve just for contrast sake.

Then, parents are heading to Malaysia on either 1st day or 2nd day of Chinese New Year (just a random mention of how 2 people, CHINESE, who have been celebrating Chinese New Year ALL THEIR LIVES, asked me, “What is Chu Yi?”. Gasp!) and I asked if I could keep baby with me, but then parents are reluctant to do so, citing that the relatives all want to see baby. I mean, I know, she has my genes and is all cute and sweet and lovable, but but but… *sulks*

I still ain’t exactly ready to be facing the extended side of my Mum’s family. They are fabulous people, but then there are just too many people, and too many questions they wouldn’t ask that will make things awkward. I mean, I really don’t know the versions of story my mum had been circulating(her husband overseas), and she might just be overwhelmingly unhappy should I spill the truth.

Can you imagine I have to start giving out ang pows just to cover up for her? That would be fucking funny.

So. Great. I will catch up on SATC and… perhaps finally get down to reading a book. Peaceful week ahead. Yay.

And strangely, though I ain’t exactly looking forward to all the play-acting and pretend to love your extended family when you know they would love to stick needles into a voodoo doll with your name on it, I sure am looking forward to some peaceful time alone.

Just remind me to stock up on food cos looking for food is gonna be a bitch. And I ain’t looking at starting my new year with prosperity burger after prosperity burger however auspicious it may sound.

This year, it is gonna be different from the 2 years before. I have to start my search for a new gambling den.

***

I slotted in my retainers last night after forgetting all about them for weeks. Damn, I think the moolah spent on my braces very the wasted man. What’s with my laziness. Tsk.

***

I am glad to be home and played mahjong with the 2 girlies yesterday. We just played from evening till late night around half past 2 before we called it a night.

I started obsessively clearing out things from my room/hall.

I ended up searching my entire home for food. I must have been really hungry. I finished bah kwa. I finishing love letters. I finishing pineapple tarts(I would have finished them if they were nice). I ate plenty of chips. I think this is the only part of Chinese New Year I really look forward to.

I was just freaking tired last night. Sometimes I just find myself uncontrollably reaching out for a black crayon to destroy whatever that’s drawn on the drawing block.

However much I like the drawing.

And the more my hands are smacked, the more furiously I become. To the point I would just tear the entire piece up.

Maybe I just want to be the perpetually unhappy. When you are perpetually unhappy, you can live without the fear of having your happiness robbed.

***

Despite having to wake at 10 this morning, I slept only at 6.30am.

I needed to get quite a bit of errands done before new year is here. But I decided against them. I even think getting new clothes/underwear/shoes for myself is an utter waste of money, just so I wouldn’t spend. Maybe I should just get new nightie since I am going to stay home. To save money, I will go commando. Hahaha.

But of course, Minibean already has all her new year wardrobe of fresh clothes that would perhaps last her all through 15 days of new year.

I spent my entire Saturday drifting in and out of sleep.

I got home at dawn and baby woke up. We napped together for a couple of hours before she woke up and I chased her around her house with her carrying her Dora bag.

She is amazing. She gives mesmerising grins whenever she wakes up.

I must have had fallen asleep while waiting for my lunch. Dad only brought lunch back when it was 5 plus.

I bade them goodbye (bye Minibean, Mummy misses you!) before I holed up in my bed… and dozed off at 9 plus. It was 10 plus when I woke up.

It is always incredibly lonely when Minibean leaves. The problem is, I find myself unable to be a mother with my parents around. It is almost asphyxiating.

I think I dozed off while watching Mythbusters. And then I woke up again.

Then… I finally slept at around 3am.

I woke at 9am.

And then… I went back to sleep and woke at 3pm.

The world seems surreal when I awoken.

I am just going to be a hermit again. Soon enough.

And I do wish you guys a very peaceful and sweet Chinese New Year.

Be happy.

Oh maybe there is one special day I can REALLY look forward to.

Effy says:
now tiger airways got cheap tix to bkk
Effy says:
u wanna go next mth?
Scarlett Ting says:
tax quite ex right?
Scarlett Ting says:
next mth what day?
Effy says:
incl taxes 150+
Effy says:
i was thinking the first or second weekend
Scarlett Ting says:
hahahaha 1st wkend is 1st mar
Scarlett Ting says:
2nd is 7th
Scarlett Ting says:
are u guys gonna buy me a toyboy to hump hump one time good good?
Effy says:
two time good good
Scarlett Ting says:
!!!! two at one go? *slurp slurp*
Effy says:
one hump two time
Effy says:
or two hump one time
Effy says:
you choose
Scarlett Ting says:
of cos two humps one time
Scarlett Ting says:
one hump two time who hasn’t?
Scarlett Ting says:
but if got one hump 9 times i must try man

So.. Bangkok or Hongkong?

Life’s choices are often so hard huh. Though these are not the ideal places I would like to go, but seeing how much I need to get away, and the life experiences(ahem ahem), and how I could just…. be away and yes… just be away.. and did I mention how much I need to be away?

Yeap. One day I would like to go further. And isn’t it funny how it is even difficult to choose between these places people would always opt to go, simply cos.. maybe my budget wouldn’t even bring me that far.

Hurhur.