Okay, here come the longass post.

I mean, really long. Like, fucking long. So you guys better appreciate it by leaving comments.
And this is from someone who hasn’t slept(again!), and had struggled the night with lotsa displeasure over her resume.

So now, I need a break. Like, you know, let it all out.

***

These days, I would start my days with the Ben Folds Five song, and it makes me feel like a gigglish schoolgirl.

I have been back to my hermit days, and then I realise I am truly, afraid.

Afraid one day I would back to be the ragdoll sitting at a corner.

***

Be careful what you wish for.

You know, God, when I asked for meeting someone nice, who isn’t a manwhore, who is decent looking, and is smart, and respects me, and is witty, and will make me laugh, and makes me feel warm and fuzzy, and is nice to everyone, and loves baby, and is incredibly sweet… and takes great care of me……….and will open car doors for me……….. so that I could date…

I think I wasn’t specific enough.

ONE! SATU! 1!

I don’t know… *whimper*

***

I think I am still going to be a celibated spinster for a long while. Grumbles.

***

I got called all the sweetest and nicest names these weeks.

And then I had the most interesting things said to me in these weeks too.

I had 4 people offering me their shoulders to cry on, which I was duly touched.

I have 3 different people, on different occasions, telling me how I am like a baby.

Tough, but like a baby.

And I hope it isn’t the paedophiliac tendencies in them that make them feel an urge to be protective about me.

But someone mentioned something about an endearing quality of innocence. But ha. Really, what innocence do I still have?

“How can a baby takes care of a baby?” commented one.

“You are a baby,” one affectionately laughed as he said it. You are tough, but definitely need to be taken care of.

What? When have I became a damsel in distress?

In a more serious tone, he said, “Scar, why is it that everytime I see you, you look so alone, so lonely?”

“You are not a bimbo, you know? I keep having this feeling that you are actually much smarter than most people think you are. Somehow I feel you are kinda dangerous… in a mysterious sort of way.”

Another one, on another occasion commented, “You are quite bright. Really. Or else I wouldn’t be able to have a conversation with you.”

His confidence awes me, but yet it is something I really envious of, cos he deserves every right to claim his self-compliments. I wish I could be like them, yet I think I do subconsciously feel incredibly inferior about myself.

Just as I am saying all these, my MSN window, has the 3rd person telling me this, “oh wait…. i promised not to treat you like baby.”

Like…. ooooookkkkaaaaaayyyyyy.

A 4th person told me that my insecurities had freeze-framed me at an age I never grew out of, and possibly, he is right.

But it could be a double-edged sword, isn’t it?

It is funny. I always said I want to be known, to be understood, to have people to take the time to know me.

But, when they do, I get so freaking scared that my natural instinct, is to, run away.

Cos I hate to admit, I do feel a bit mellowed, and become all marsh-mellowish, and it is NO GOOD. I mean, as much as we know it is good to have someone to lean on, but what if, the over-reliance grows and one day you have to do without?

At least, you never do lose friends. Not the real ones anyway.

***

So let me recap the past couple of weeks.

I don’t even know where to start, but it is oh, nothing short of interesting.

Like, how I bumped into Mr KG on New Year’s Eve, and TBB(the guy who had flirted with me for over 2 years, and sent me booty calls which were never answered) too.

And how I jokingly made a new year resolution to the girls on the first day of 2008, and like seriously, be careful what you freaking wish for.

But I shall start…. on how my partying days started.

***

20 December 2007

Feeling utterly bored at home, I took up the invitation to go for drinks with a friend who is back from overseas.

Welcome back, Jeremy. Thanks for being such an absolute darling, and pimping all your friends(and yourself muahahaha) to me.

He was sending me all his recommendations before he was back in Singapore, and I was telling how I would need them as baits to lure my girls to hang out with me.

He really made a long list of recommendations(with pictures, descriptions attached.. just short of giving measurements. Ahem).

I was really apprehensive about getting out of my comfort zone to meet people, you know?

But somehow that night I did.

The midnight trip out was to meet his friends at MOS(the last time I was there… I was 6 months pregs!). I met one of the coolest girls possible, and I could see how they were going out of their ways to make me feel less awkward.

Thank you guys. I really did appreciate it very much.

Music was okay, but I was still too self-conscious to be enjoying myself.

Jeremy picked David up from Cineleisure where he was watching a movie. Original plan was to head to Newton, and because David had suggested heading to Zouk, the guys brutally ignored my very hungry self and turned for Zouk.

At like, 3.30am?!?!

These guys are hardcore, I tell ya.

But Zouk was closed, and we all headed to Newton instead.

David took over the wheel as Jeremy had a couple of drinks, and the 2 of them sent me home before heading back.

***

21st December 2007

I met up with Iris on a rainy Friday to head to Clarke Quay for a party at China One.

We took a train(so proud of myself!), and strolled in the drizzle. I admire that lass loads for she is one tough cookie, and an incredibly hot mama too.

MILF alert!

She takes great care of people around her, and that is just one of the amazing things about her.

Serene, Sandy, Iris and me!

I was just in a mood to camwhore.

Me and the very cute Herbert.

And the very adorable Elliot. Who was at the receiving end of endless sarcastic remarks for the night, and relentlessly insisted he is indeed a very nice guy, but often misunderstood.

Okay, Elliot, I believe you. Really. Honestly. Like, seriously!

In the mood for Chrrriiisstttmaaaasss.

Pictures with the guys before I left for my 2nd destination for the night.

I have known this girl for years! We met when we did an ad together for Organics in 2004. Man, 4 years! The lovely Serene.

I bumped into David just as I was leaving for Zouk from Clarke Quay, and he just reached Clarke Quay when I was about to queue for a cab.

I would have joined him at MOS, if not for the fact my soon-to-be-kantung friend was back from London for a short trip.

I swear I could have died from walking 1336457 rounds in Velvet just to look for him.. and.. cough, Mr KG(yes yes, the guy whom I had a crush for like a decade).

I had butterflies in my stomach okay!

Me and Yaolong, my primary school classmate. Can you believe it? We actually bumped into each other when we were in a small, deserted lane in London back in 1999. Like, literally, before we realised who each other was. The world is really small.

He was back for a short break, and I can’t wait to visit him in London some day soon.

Mr KG and him tried to get me to join them at St James, but I decided to pop over to Zouk to look for the guys instead.

And… I think it was my first time in Zouk since the horrendous episode when I was emotionally-blackmailed to go up the podium in my hideous outfit(with glasses and makeupless no less!) on mambo night(throws stares at JD).

I actually had fun!

Jeremy and Chloe.

Look where your hands are going Jeremy…

Well.. uhm.. I guess that’s why these guys have no girlfriends. Or maybe, it is precisely because they have no girlfriends……

David and Ti-En.

Ti-En and I.

Joce, the incredibly charismatic chick.

Evidently, someone had made me drink alcohol.

The hairy-chested Jew(giggles) and I(what the hell? I was still clubbing at 4.09am? I thought clubs close at 3am…? Okay, that was MY time, like long long ago).

But not everyone was still sober.

Amazingly, I bumped into many old friends there. Nostalgic, alright.

Shukun, the guy who once held the record of the longest phone conversation with me. 8 hours. Until it was broken. Like. Oh well.

We knew each other back we were in NPCC, yet it was through the late Shubin that we got acquainted. It was 1996. 12 years!

He was working at Citibank when I was attached there earlier in the year.
The cute ‘little boy’ who isn’t quite a little boy. He is of the same age as me and I look like his mother beside him man.

And oh yeah, I bumped into Paikia there too!

And yes, at 5am, I was still out partying.

Someone pulled me out of Zouk, before I waited for Jeremy and David to share a cab home, and it wasn’t long before I saw daylight.

***

I woke up “early” to head to the warzone(read: Orchard during festive season) for some shopping.

I met up with Herbert and Elliot for a short while before I continued on with my festive shopping.

David was about to pick me up when a very bored JD decided to ask me for a little bit of company. Like, you know, cos FF was busy, and then she very lonely, and then, you know, I cannot let them down, and then you know, I cannot don’t play mahjong with them…

So I decided to hang out in town a little bit more, before I headed over to the party location.

Then I bumped into Mr KG and his girlfriend as I headed up to the cab stand. My heart was racing and I could hardly breathe. But I wasn’t the only one with drama.

And what in turn to be a dread for her, became an….. eventful, fruitful… fateful night for her.

We headed to Joce’s place for a Christmas party, where we met a lot of new people, and some old people.

10 minutes after stepping into the apartment, “Can we go soon?” Before I knew it, she was making friends with EVERYBODY, and finding old friends among them.

7 hours later, she was still very much in the house, and I was the one freaking out from meeting people(tears, baby, tears).

Damn. I think they enjoyed it more than I did, alright?

The pussy looking up at a pussy of a pussy.

Okay. Confusing.

That’s a cat having an upskirt glance at Finicky Feline.

Jeremy, whom I got to know through the Xbox360 launch I attended 2 years back, was there as well, and he happens to be David’s ex-schoolmate.

Hurhur, my date for the night.

The chef for the night.

The other David.

Gorgeous Su. Who plays mahjong!

Ti-En and me.

Sweet Chien Yi, JD, David and Nick.

Dom who picked JD’s Christmas present. They are the OCD bunch.

I love this picture. Just so cute.

David, Nick, FF, me, JD, and Chien Yi.

We were supposed to head back to JD’s for mahjong before her extended smoke break became, uhm, super extended.

I think she nearly choked on the smoke, like, really.

Must be the fact that the 2 chicks were so fixated on the guitar game. Or.. making new friends.

Some new friends…. I think her name is Adele(?), if I remember correctly, JD, and Nick.

The same girl again with JD and Ti-En.

Many other pictures cannot post cos I didn’t edit FF’s face out.

Uh huh uh huh.

JD also gave FF and I our Christmas presents there. I got a Chao Ah Lian bag which goes linglinglonglong wherever I go.

But I love it!

Lesson of the day: Don’t meddle with fate.

***

Then it was Mahjong on 23rd December over at my place with Uncle Keith(aka Maria the eternal nag), Melvin and Ti-En.

I had FF screaming as she ran out of my room, cos I had conveniently forgotten about my brr brr on the bed.

So pai seh! Lucky not when the guys were around, or else I would just shrivel and die.

Keith and Melvin provided quite a bit of comic relief, though our fanciful languages could almost make them blush.

Don’t ask me why I am giggling silly to myself as I blog this.

***

24th December – Played mahjong. Blogged about it already.

25th December – Went on a date. Giggles. Blogged about already.

26th December – It was a nice song. A nice car ride home.

After a cosy nap later, I went to some part in Pandan Road for a casting, before I met FF for furniture shopping. I didn’t quite last long enough since I was very very tired.

With the girls at the casting.

I met up with the girlies for drinks at Holland Village Breko’s where we met up with Jeremy for a brief while, before we continued with drinks.

I left for movie at VivoCity, before my time of the month showed its first sign and I scurried home instead of Zouk(I missed Mambo!).

So pain. I don’t like.

***

So my party night didn’t quite work out, and I headed back home to chill.

I think I slept in for most of Thursday. Honestly, I don’t remember.

But one thing for sure. I played mahjong.

Oh. I remember!

Jeremy and Keith came over and picked FF and I up. Keith dropped FF off before the 3 of us headed to Fong Seng for supper.

The 2 old men didn’t quite manage to stay awake so Keith dropped Jeremy off before he sent me back.

The poor chap then made his way back to, gasp, Loyang.

Uncle Keith is a nice guy.

***

I took a train to Bugis for a meeting, before I rushed to Newton where Wenmei and guys picked me up to head to her place for a potluck gathering.

Yay! Lihui was back from Shanghai! I miss that babe man.

Don’t ask me why I had such a hiao pose.

I love these 2 girls!

And of course, the ever lovely Uma.

Uhm.. with Huiling.

Lovely hosts for the evening.

Huiling, Ting and Uma.

Okay, I have no idea why this picture is like this, like really. I was just tipsy and laughing. And it isn’t hard to tell from the scarlet hue that I had 2 sips of alcohol.

Ah.. much better picture

I have been snogging…. A LOT of people.

Knowing them for so many years, and I don’t think I have ever missed a single Christmas gathering with them.

I think if Lihui is a guy, I would fall for him big time.

Peining was there, with her new beau, and he was grilled by us, which made her all gigglish.

The girls at the party. Peining, Huiling, Uma, Roumin, Ting, Eileen, Lihui and Wenmei.

Thanks girls, for everything.

And you know what I mean.

For many good years to come.

All of us!

David and I then went over to fetch JD who was just 5 minutes away to head down to.. yup, Zouk!

I bumped into Roberto! After 2 years, he is still looking damn yummy. And he introduced me to 2 of his taller, more gorgeous friends. Be still my heart….

At Zouk with Jeremy and David who was sitting on his lap. These guys damn gay I tell you.

And the ever gorgeous JD, who finally succumbed to my pleas to go clubbing.FF was home sleeping early.Zouk was quite packed that day, and besides playing 5-10, I did little else.

Went for supper with David and his friends, before I insisted he drop me off near his place to hail a cab(me ish no need babysitting).

29th December 2007

I got back and crashed for the night, before woken up by a phone call telling me that I had given him wrong number.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPS.

I did a boo boo again! I once did that to someone and I did it again! It was a mutual friend whom I told him to message me where they heading for supper.

I waited and waited and waited and waited. Message never came.

Then I knew why. Oops.

Uh.. PKB(MUAHAHAHAHAHA name contributed by someone unexpected. Don’t ask me what it is. I won’t say.) had gotten my number while at Zouk and he had misheard it.

And he thought I was trying to be mean, when I thought he had intentionally not messaged me.

So.

I headed out to meet the girlies for dinner, and we were excited because Potato is finally out of her poxy phase.

And this is how we welcome her back.

And I could feel her saliva and lips wrapping around mine, and she could feel my teeth cutting into her lips.

JD and me.

And of course many other censored pictures of FF which are very pretty but I cannot post.

Potato and I played what JD called “The longest game in history” simply because I can never quite hit a ball straight.

And I challenged Uncle Keith? I must be reaaaaaallly joking.

But at least he made it the fastest game in history.

We girls had fun for the night, before we hopped on a cab and did our favourite activities, mahjong!

I giggled throughout the night. Don’t ask why.

We played till really late before I was half cursing how I would be really dead the next morning cos I had to wake up early for work.

***

30th December 2007.

Woke up at 7am for work, and then waited for my ride to pick me up.

28 bucks of cab fare without surcharge, from Jurong to Punggol. That was my Sunday morning.

I felt sick just because of the cab ride.

Fiona is an incredibly sweet girl, unassuming and genuine. I like working with her.

I was almost half dead from barely any sleep. 2? 3 hours?

I bumped into so many people I know! Kaiming! The closeted Manchester United fan.

Fiona, me and Cordelia. We tried so hard to stay positive throughout the day man.

She damn cute right?
Aww.. if only this is my car.

Break time!

I think we had most fun from camwhoring.

The day seemed to breeze past so easily despite we getting really dehydrated.

We even bullied our ‘boss’.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I bumped into Poo!

The little boy who worked with us. Very nice and sweet chap. Thanks Jack for making the day such an easy one for us by being so utterly sweet.

Too bad I ain’t exactly a paedophile. Heh.

Just saw a familiar face, Chee Siong.

And we just take picture with anything and everything in sight.

And we did everything and anything just to take pictures.

We did work very hard, alright?

Finally, we wrapped up the day early, and a very kind Miah Thye dropped us off in town. We even received a free Ferrari tee each which retails at $69.

I was wandering around in Plaza Singapura being really bored until SKB called to ask if I wanted to do dinner together.

And then, I realised the entire world(FF, JD, and Jeremy) were all at Plaza Singapura.

We ended up having dinner at Holland Village after a very confusing discussion.

Tsk tsk.

I have evil friends. Evil friends who wouldn’t stop giggling at the mention of NPCC and Boys Bridgade.

Jeremy, PKB and I ended up heading to Cineleisure to watch I am Legend. David was supposed to join us for movie but he couldn’t make it in time.

I was part of the movie as I nearly dropped popcorns onto other patrons, and that I was stuffing tissues into my ears after Keith offered me some.

The sound effects were terrible. But to the guys, my reactions that led to their bruises were much more agonising, or maybe, entertaining.

And I cried when Samantha died

Whoever suggested to watch the movie ought to be shot!

We dropped by SDB’s place to pick up Jeremy’s books. We sent Jeremy home before PKB and I sat by Fong Seng until… 6am.

I was awake for 29 hours before I finally went to sleep on New Year’s Eve afternoon after a long phone call.

I slept for merely 4 hours, waking up with a bad migraine, before Keith picked me up to head for dinner at Novena. We had Peranakan food before we picked Rachel up to head to MOS.

I actually went out makeupless before I felt too self-conscious and dashed to put on a bit of makeup.

Rachel and I.

Rachel the beauty queen.

I think I was pretty out of it throughout, cos I was simply too tired. We counted down at MOS, and it was in a function room so it was pretty much without the sweaty crowd.

Rachel, Keith and I.

The guy who beat me at pool. Or rather, the guy I stupidly challenged to play pool(stop laughing, Jeremy).

Alvin, whom I bumped into at MOS.

The guy who stole my new year’s first kiss.

Some very nice and friendly girls at the party.

And then and then, we headed to Zouk. I was already pretty tipsy.

JD!

JD was there with Booboo, and I was pretty much swaying from side to side, and Keith had to buy hotdog for me so I wouldn’t be that tipsy.

Jeremy gave me a new year kiss too!

Joce and Melvin.

I bumped into Weipen who gave me a new year smooch on the side of my head, though it was more of a comfort, than anything else..

Thank you. Really. Thank you.

I bumped into Sherry and Jasmine just as I turned my head. How coincidental!

Did I mention I like guys in shirts? Heh.

The night ended early for me after I got too emotional and tired, and I decided to flag a cab instead of telling the guys I was leaving.

Cos I know them being very nice them, would rather cut short their partying and send me back, which wasn’t quite along the way.

So I snuck out and headed to board a cab SDB called for me.

Oh. I got a new year kiss too! So shy.

You know, I really shouldn’t be blogging when I am delirious, cos I really have no idea what I am typing about anymore. Let’s just hope someone might make sense of whatever I am typing.

Oh. Where did I stop?

Oh, New Year.

I cried all the way home on the cab. It felt fucking terrible.

I got home and was very tired. I fell asleep and I snored. I remember much of those that happened, but I wish I don’t.

***

I forced myself to head out of home due to the unpleasant memories, and Keith picked me up to head to a family dinner.

It was a nice Christian family, and everyone was warm and kind.

We chilled out at Siglap before we picked FF from her place to play mahjong.

We played till 7am. I lost many many.

Dad came home at 7am.

Another call came at 7am.

Another call came in at 8am.

And PKB called at around 10am and then… I went on a date at 11am.

I was forced out of my bed. Like, literally.

Okay, don’t remind me how I cried myself silly for so many days.

It was no wonder I slept for 16 hours straight that night. I stayed home for most of 3rd Jan’s, and woke up to have a cup of hot tea on 4th Jan.

And of course… Martin’s birthday night where I got myself really sloshed.

And….

Here are the evidences of the wild night we had.

Can I have a dozen of these to give to my guy friends?

We were all bored and yawning at this point.

You cannot see her face, but at least you get to see her cleavage.

The birthday boy!

FF and I when we were still sober.

He is incredibly sexy, isn’t he? I am talking about Douglas O definitely.

Still very sober but the music perked us up.

I have no idea why all the pictures have me smooching someone.

Us and the birthday boy.

FF is Chao ah lian, and is rude. We are her friends. We are nice people.

With Martin’s friend, MJ, who we took picture with simply because his shirt is very uhm, ah pek.

Showing signs of boredom.

And then..

Sex on the beach for the bitches!

That was perhaps the stupidest thing for me to suggest in order to get FF to stay longer.

A toast to the birthday boy.

Guy in ah pek shirt is also David’s friend.

Then I was mad enough to have another.

And another.

JD and…. I know not who.

David and FF.

JD and David and FF.

Alcohol does this to people…

And this..

Rave reviews, anyone? Giggles.

Together they make Chindian babies.

And then, I was out of control.

It was just one of the many scandalous and embarrassing pictures.

I was humping everything I saw.

Like, uhm, the chair.

FF. Uhm. I think JD humped my leg.

Uhm okay.

Uhm okay.

Er…. Okay. -cringe in embarrassment-

I look pretty decent here.

I am still okay!

Though the paparazzi ain’t giving up.

And we gave them something to cheer about.

But really…

What the…

… hell are these pictures doing in my camera?!

And it is really, really, really, really not what it seems like.

Though this was really me at the end of it.

For those with toe fetish.

Happy birthday Martin!

Someone thought it was my birthday cos I look more sloshed than you are.

***

David sent me home and made my bed for me. Never do the laundry just before you head out for drinks. If you do laundry, don’t drink. If you want to drink, don’t do laundry.

Cos in your state of drowsiness, you still have a nagging thought of fitting your bed sheets.

He gentlemanly tucked me into bed before he went off. And I think I drifted off to sleep less than 10 seconds after he walked out of the door.

And when I woke up 2 hours later with Charissa greeting me, I cringed badly at the thought of what had happened the night before(the video! The horrors!).

Oh somebody should just shoot me.

But thank you guys, it was perhaps one of the most liberating nights we had in a long while, and it was damn fun.

Oh. Too bad it wasn’t captured that JD grabbed my face and planted a full snog on my lips.

No tongue though.

I think that’s about it from me.

I can’t believe I have stayed awake just to finish this redundant post.

I shall sleep at 8pm and wake up tomorrow morning.

Goodnight all.

Oh. Instead of counting sheeps, I counted the number of pictures. I think there is an estimated of more than 140 pictures in this post.

I might be wrong, since I am like, delirious, I couldn’t possibly count, can I?