After sending Minibean back to Malaysia on Sunday night, just so she could spent the last hour of 2nd December with my mum, I stood on the train platform and bawled.
I leaned in to give her 2 kisses, to say goodbye, and wish her once again, happy birthday.
I didn’t bring her anywhere on Sunday, despite my initial plans, and we ended up just staying in bed, bonding. She loves to lean in close to me and just snuggle up close.
It was in the evening when we went for dinner, and let’s just say I couldn’t wait for it to be over.
Nonetheless, I know how much my dad had wanted it, and it was his proud moment too.
Her cheeks were flushed and many people asked if I had put on blusher for her. But it seems like they were swollen.
It was a cold, cold Sunday night, and I drew in a breath of relief to finally conclude the whirlwind week, over some teh-o-pengs.
It was cold, so cold.
I need some warmth in my life.
***
It was exhausting when I finally got back home, but my first day back into the internet world means lots of tweaking and installation processes, which honestly, I suck at.
So, I have half-running programs, hanging applications, and plenty of rebooting.
It was like… early morning and I still didn’t manage to get my email to work.
I went to the hall, and sat at the familiar spot before the window. The window was slightly ajar, and I could see the grey skies out there looking intimidating.
And then a cool(almost cold) breeze soothed, I indulged in that personal moment. I almost thought I could fall asleep that way.
It was a nice feeling though I have never felt more alone.
***
I tried to catch up some sleep and then back to troubleshooting with minimal sleep. NOTHING!!
I was feeling very tired, and then, I had my private moment again. This time, it was so sunny and I could feel the warmth on my back, and I thought of getting a tan. I just leaned back and just… think.
I think too much, most people say.
Honestly if I can have the power over the thoughts, I wouldn’t like to think that much. Is it really about self-control? Sometimes I do think exercising the control over your thoughts doesn’t necessarily bring away that awful feeling within. I can always try. I am trying.
It was finally evening when I got to meet the girlies for mahjong since Wanyi is back from Aussie!
Food, laughs, and just brilliant company.
Until it was almost 3am when my parents called me to say that Minibean’s brewing fever hadn’t went down and had spiked up instead.
Parents were having some sort of disagreement since my mum’s paranoia and constant naggings(she loves to accuse me and my dad for being indifferent and that baby means nothing to us), and dad threatened to bring baby back to Singapore so my mum doesn’t get to see her.
I was quite annoyed cos that wasn’t really the way to use her.
After couple of exchanges, the fever didn’t go down and went up despite her medication.
Mum started nagging how it was our fault for bringing her out over the weekend and blarblarblar. We look for solutions, she looks for blame. I tried to get her to sponge bath baby but I am not sure if it was something too ‘advance’ for her.
Dad was paranoid about doctors in JB, and thus, he drove the still very energetic Minibean back to Singapore, and headed for the Children’s A & E.
I joined him there, and I was told her fever was 39.5 degrees.
Was diagnosed to be some sort of viral infection and thus the rashes on her cheeks, and the fever was way too uncomfortable for her to sleep.
She puked when the doctor checked on her, and her appetite was waning too. Dad was so tired and his eyes were bloodshot.
We had to wait around in the hospital till her dosage of medication. It didn’t work as expected and we stayed around until the fever went down to 38.8 before she was discharged.
The doctor gave her another prescription to take concurrently with the paracetemol.
Oh, and er, she was given a MC(?). In my state of delirium, I nearly told the nurse that she is currently unemployed.
I got her back and she refused to sleep until I held her in my arms and pat her to sleep.
She finally drifted off when the day was bright and I was superbly tired.
I am supposed to adminster the medication every 4 hours, and it also means I have to rouse her from her sleep.
Her fever finally ceased, though she just puked all over herself, myself and my bed.
But her symptoms didn’t seem to cease and she is crying more than yesterday and feeling more restless.
But at least she is drinking milk, and managed to finish somemore after she had puked bulk of it out.
I am like a duck.
I can’t quite explain the amount of anxiety, or to show it, but seeing how she is crying because of the discomfort just unsettles me greatly.
