Archive for August, 2007

On the way

I certainly hope the previous post had not given him some sort of pressure.

***

I feel my esteem slipping out of me. Bringing my sanity along.

Had dinner at Bugis. And Brian got his Citi Clear Card.

We headed separate ways thereafter.

***

I sent out SOS messages when I was on the train back home this evening.

I was on the verge of crying, and was sniffing back really hard.

I heard JD’s voice and my tears just started flowing, in a very packed train, no less.

It has been a long while since I last took a train home. I have relied on cabs for return trips in weeks(props should still be given to 100% train ride rates when I head out).

Bad day to take train.

I was tempted to grab the very bad sudoku player’s laptop(who was sitting next to me), and finish his easy-peasy game for him.

I kept my sanity, and I didn’t.

I managed to wipe away the tears, but the silly mucus just kept betraying me.

I walked a very lonely trip home and felt the dread upon reaching.

I just put down my stuff, jumped out of my jeans and switched on the vacuum cleaner. My mind was virtually blank and I was like a soulless being, doing things I couldn’t quite recall.

Knowing I have issues, and that he has his own to battle, he came over and cruise me around.

We even had really silly and funny ideas, but then just grabbing a drink and sitting there,  giving each other the occasional comforting hug, aimless, was like the most luxurious break we had.

The silly ideas didn’t take flight due to practicality.

We had supper and he sent me home, leaving me alone to battle with my own demons.

We just stayed beneath my building for the longest time.

I didn’t want to cry, but somehow, I think between the emptiness and blankness, I did.

I could only stare into absolute blankness when he held my face and hushed me from my senseless ramblings that brought forth tears.

He stroke my hair, cuddled me close, held my cheeks, pat my shoulders, kissed my lips, pecked my forehead and nothing seemed to work magic.

I sat there on the tarmac.. lifeless, and thinking back, I scare myself too, for that I felt that I was on the brink of hopelessness.
I didn’t ask him to stay, though I very much wanted to.

***

The previous post was written after he had sent me back.

He called, when he got back.

When he called again…

“Ask me what I am doing.”

“Uhm. Okay….”

“Ask me.”

“So well, what you doing?” I whispered inaudibly because simply, I couldn’t find it within me to talk.

“I am changing and heading out.”

“Huh?”

“I will see you in twenty minutes’ time.”

“Oh…”

“You don’t sound too happy I am coming over…”

Not that. I am just afraid you might be tired. I am just afraid you find it an obligation. I am just afraid.

But yes, thank you. Really. I could make do with that bit of comfort.

And now, the 20 minutes is up. I shall end this post abruptly.

Comfort in the old foe

I could have made do with a little more comfort tonight.

But it wasn’t meant to be.

I didn’t want the hug, simply because I didn’t want to break down, and neither did I want to find it hard to let go.

And I couldn’t be that selfish.

I feel like looking up an old friend(foe) of mine.

Very close to it, actually.

Immense dissatisfaction

I am at a phase in my life that I am immensely dissatisfied with the way it is going, the things I am doing, or maybe, not doing.

***

I didn’t feel like heading out today nor seeing people. Yet, quite a bit was on hand and all have something to do with people in one way or another.

At least I got some of the stuff done, and I am happy.

***

But there are some things in life I am still happy about.

Like the pack of chai tao kuey on the table to greet me when I wake up.

I had a hot cup of Milo this morning as I sat at the mahjong table which is fast becoming my work table, and heaved heavy breaths of stress as I worked.

***

I finished all of my CSI:NY and I feel that my life is seemingly empty these days, hahaha.

I remember sitting in my living room, and it was showing The Eye 2(so glad I didn’t catch it when I was pregnant), and the only available series I have yet to watch is Ghost Whisperer.

Uhm, how apt for the 7th month.

***

The only comfort I took in delight, would be how the first night of the 7th month kicked off on Sunday with a nice, cooling drizzle.

And then, there was the nice, little stroll as we headed out for supper on the damp pavements, hand on hand.

And oh, then, there was the call that came in that he disturbed me non-stop throughout.

On a night like this clouded with an air of mystery of the Chinese beliefs, romanticised by the drizzles… some hot loving and a warm body to snuggle upclose to, is just about right.

Security. However brief.

Though the fight over duvet in our sleep, turning away when the body gets too warm for the other to bear, and claiming of bed-territory brought on the realism of what life is truly about.

Nonetheless… it was very nice.

Thank you, Wilson

It was supposed to be a corporate shot, and we had a break in between when they randomly took this(I wearing birkies somemore!). Turned out to be quite nice. :)

Citibank Clear Card

Remember how I wrote about the Citibank Clear Card just few days ago?

Brian called me up to ask me about it after seeing the ad placed at the side(*points to the right*).

I decided to call up to find out more about the card itself(yes, I do already have one clear card from Citibank), since Brian is looking for one to use for company expenses, which is a brilliant idea on his part since rather since it could detail the petty cash outflow neatly too. :)

Anyway, ah-ha, though I had never stated in my blog, but my attachment to a bank for the first 5 months of this year, was quite obviously Citibank since I had taken a picture just earlier on…


It was one of the best learning experiences I ever had, and of course, woohoo, the guys in shirts and ties made my attachment there a too great a one to miss(and of course, ahem, who can forget EBB and CBB?).

Of course, I didn’t quite mention how some silly corporate politics had denied me the chance to join the bank even though, I shall mention here now, that my contract was already in the status of churning out before the plans were halted.

You have no idea how great an opportunity it was for me, for someone who has absolutely no experience and track records, to offer a chance that was hard to come by.

I wanna thank the fabulous PotatomusMaximus who spent hours in Bebe with me(she wanna wallop me for wearing XS and size 0 clothes), just to wait for me to try finish almost every design in the shop(which I didn’t buy any of those haha).

Truth is, if I had less problems getting my credit card approved back then, I would have bought few of those fabulous pieces. If only they had launched the Citibank Clear Card back then I would have had an evening of retail therapy!

But oh well. It wasn’t meant to be.

But it was such a great experience with the ban that, I ended up opening an account with the bank, and am in the process of getting my dad to switch to it too.

It is not an easy bank to work with, definitely, but with its aggressive expansion(I am sure you guys noticed how you are seeing their names everywhere these days) in the pipelines, it may just well be beneficial for the clients.

Not long after, I was trying to get my Citibank Platinum Clear Card(I had opted for it simply because it looks the best despite the SMRT promotions hahahaha), but it was pretty hard since I had my PR status only last year.

Nonetheless, I met this fabulous guy when I was out with Minibean one day, and he was very patient to follow through the entire process for me. He was never pushy and he was consistent with his follow up even though he knew that application might not go through.

Eventually, he still met up with me to get the necessary documents, and followed through with the application.

It was approved on the day itself, and my card was ready on the next day.

(Hohoho. I am smart to remove the details!)

Citibank has a same-day collection policy, and if I had brought down my documents earlier(I brought down at 5pm that day), I could have collected it on the day itself!

And with the perks(remember how I went to Equinox with the Brats and we had like 70 bucks off the total bill?), and how I could have free entry to Zouk(haha! Brian can never laugh at me for not having a Velvet card like he does) because the card gives me free and priority entry. Man, I love that card.

And it doesn’t necessary to be the Platinum card, now, the Citibank Clear Card, brings you exclusive discounts and privileges at over 600 merchants, and you could enjoy the same privilege of entry to Velvet Underground!

You might want to know that it is 1-for-1 at Velvet and Winebar with this card too.

And the one-touch payment system, means your card is tied to your fingerprint, and I like the CSI-ish sound of it. You could just pay with your fingerprint even if you have forgotten to bring your Citibank Clear card out with you(which was what I did just last week).

So don’t do anything I wouldn’t do cos this card would also mean it is darn easy to track you down.

I had a hard time getting all my documents ready, and go through the tedious procedures of waiting for my income tax statement to be mailed to me as I was waiting for my card application.

And now???? Citibank is actually launching its Clear Card, a first of its kind, Citi Clear Card – A credit card for tertiary students or the employed, with no minimum income required!

Are you above 21 and just starting out your career and find that a credit card would be absolutely handy but still hadn’t hit your minimum income required?

Or are you over 18, a tertiary student but below 21 and feel that you are missing out?

Ah ha! No fear, if you are over 18, you could get your parents/guardians consent and you are eligible for the Citi Clear Card too!

That is absolute coolness can?

Of course I am not encouraging everyone to indulge in irrational spending with a credit card, it can be really tempting, I tell ya, though quite honestly, it doesn’t quite have any effects on me.

I am quite surprise how subdue I can be with the card, and my this month’s credit bill is a lousy $400 odd, which, I had tried to use wherever I go, even when I could have paid my McDee’s $9.60 bill with cash, I still opted for it so I could earn points for other perks. So it pretty much summarises my total spending for the month there.

To safeguard responsible spending, the limit would be capped $500, which I think is a very reasonable amount for students and those with monthly income below the normal cap.

And the payment of the bills is so easy. I either log on to the internet, or I just buzz down to any AXS machine for payment. *Snaps fingers* That easy.

Don’t forget to pay your bills!

Most importantly, be responsible with your spending, and don’t let the bills accumulated till they smother you. Bankruptcy is no laughing matter, and you can be surprised at what credit cards can do to you.

We might be calling up the chap who handled my application, and see if we could get a Citi Clear Card for Brian to use for company matters or not, cos it would make petty claims much more manageable.

Sigh. If only the Citi Clear Card was launched earlier, say, last year, and I would have certainly applied for it to tide over the pregnancy, and gotten a cot with the card for Minibean. It is amazing how $500 would have made a huge difference in times of need.

All in all, I am a satisfied Citibank’s customer, and I believe you would be too. Click HERE to check out the coolest credit card in town now, that would definitely set you apart from your fellow peers.

What should I eat at 1am?

The mind feels perpetually empty, and it feels kinda fantastic actually. Though the subconscious doesn’t quite agree, and I had to sleep through a nap filled with work-related dreams.

I even dreamt of Wenmei and it was work-related(GASP!).

Nonetheless, it was a nice evening nap though it got a little too late when I woke up. I rewatched the ending of the episode I fell asleep halfway through, did some uploading of pictures, did some aimless surfing, after I had woken up and realised it was too late to head back to JB(it was almost 11pm).

I wasn’t aware that I was that tired.

Now that mahjong session with the old mahjong legs are off, I guess staying indoors for some blogging catchup seems like an enjoyable time-alone.

I wondered how I would make the trip to Potong Pasir this afternoon, and I was already terribly late. Anticipating the others wouldn’t be early, I decided to jump on the train after the entire village of people didn’t SMS back.

Thankfully, just as I reached Clementi, Justine got me to get off the train, and there, I met up with her and Kenneth, as they had arranged to head to Potong Pasir together. The convenience of the shared cab ride made the trip a pleasant one. I adore Justine. She has an air of innocence that it is almost hard to find. Alas, it is hardly appreciated by people.

It was Everett’s first birthday celebration. There were many kids, many babies, and just a lot of din.

I wonder how Minibean would enjoy it, though the heat might make her grouchy.

The lovely Everett and my manager’s new place. :)

I still remember that he was the 2nd/3rd person there to see the freshly-out-of-labour-ward me cos he was still hospitalised for being a premature baby.

And now, now, look at what a darling he has become.

I sat outside along the corridor because of the breeze and serenity. Wasn’t quite in the best of PR moods, but it was nice, because I like the genuinity of sitting there just saying the unpolished thoughts, without any fear of being judged.

I had to go up to this lady whom I had never met, to ask “Hi I have a really weird request! Can I take a picture of your top?”

The rest of them laughed and commented it did sound really weird. But her spontaneity made her a memorable, pleasant lady which I wish I have the chance to meet again. Alas the top was bought in Paris and I ain’t going to fly there just to shop at H&M.

I wonder if I ever would have someone who would fly to Paris just to get me something.

COUGH. Don’t laugh. We were playing mahjong last night and last I heard, it was a true life account. Dammit. I always don’t get such guys, do I?

And the big boss was there with the family and commented how he chanced upon the program when he was channel surfing.  *GULP*

Thankfully Ronald was heading back to the west and saved me the hassle of wrestling with the peak hour traffic when the light was seeping out of the sky.

I must have been really tired.

***

I cut yesterday’s post short because I remembered I have photographs with me that I didn’t load. Silly me.

Photoediting used to be such an integrated, essential step of blogging of mine, but it became quite a hassle after a year ago when things get hectic.

Still, picture says a thousand words, and capture moments that elude you by as time passes.

Brian and I were at Velocity Novena, having a drink at Spinelli’s.

I was very tired, and was hoping to jump on a cab to head straight home. Obviously, with my previous post jotting my glorious 10 hours feat, it didn’t quite happen.

Waiting.

Very tired.

Wenmei reached, then Gary did, and then Brian left shortly after.

Our very dear Janise, gave me a rare buzz after she had scrolled through her phone list and couldn’t find anyone to meet. Hmphf.

And I asked her to join us for dinner since all the others were couple-ly anyway.

She reached, and the guys’ suggested Bak Kut Teh.

Off we went to nearby Balestier and I miss the vegetables with oyster sauce already.

The kiam chai and pig trotter were a little disappointing though.

We had a picture taken prior to this and she was standing at the forefront with me at my, ahem, preferred side. The sneaky one actually deleted it! No wonder I couldn’t find it when I got back and load it!

Been a long while since I last saw you babe :)

Wenmei and Roumin.

I followed Wenmei, Roumin and their beaus back to Wenmei’s place to chill for a while, watching really awful programs on television before I wondered why FF wasn’t returning my call for the planned session.

I had conveniently forgotten her handphone was out of battery.

I reached JD’s thrashed place, and saw a very distressed JD cleaning up the war zone after the new little baby had managed to escape out of its cage and chewed the house down.

It was few rounds of 3-legged mahjong, then 4-legged, then back to 3-legged. The ladies’ stamina are unquestionable. Same goes to their sanity.

***

9th August.

I stopped watching National Day Parade for almost 10 years. I used to be such a fan, until I participated in one in 1994.

Don’t get me wrong. I know this sounds weird, but I always feel like crying when watching, singing those patriotic songs.. I am true-blue-r than true blue Singaporeans I tell you.

I was having dinner alone when the television at the coffee shop was displaying all those brilliance, and I saw the babies in the coffee shop… the combination made me try hard not to weep.

I am such a wuss.

So it was just great that I took refuge at home right after dinner so I could just watch CSI:NY to waste my night away before my knight in shiny armour came to whisk me off for a ride on his horse.

Sounds really kinky, but it wasn’t.

But it was a nice, quiet night to be out, and revisiting places that I used to be so familiar with.

It just got a little too much of memory flooding…

***

I am not sure if I had mentioned, but the mahjong table by the window side in the hall has became a really enjoyable location to be at for long, indepth chats.

I can’t wait for it to be transformed to something more comfortable and more quality, productive time can be spent there.

I got pretty tied up after we got back, though I managed to detangle myself for some chill-down as we sat by the mahjong table, as he enjoyed his cigarette, with me sitting on his lap. We shared a laugh or two when my fat knees got caught at the arm rest.

I slept well that night if not for the early work calls, but having someone springing up from the bed and pulling your duvets just to greet you good morning… the feeling was marvellous.

***

8th August.

Ah ha! I was saying we did take some pictures of the shoot that was done.

The pretty Japanese place.

Woohoo, if only I could done up my place like this.

I love the chairs.

They served us free drinks, and their hospitality was superb.

I particularly love the red chairs which became our props for the shoot.

The BRATs.

Don’t ask me why Brian looked so high with me licking his you-know-what(finger, duh!).

My darlings came down to help with the shoot. Thank you!

Awww… the Yakuza of BRATs, with the hardworking photographers behind.

And to be absolutely fair, here’s the hunk of BRATs. Look at the little jerk of the hips, the sexy pout and the.. uhm, brolly. F1 should be considering using brolly boys instead. Hot ah!

(My life is officially at risk)

My lovely ones.

Who had been absolutely great helps despite of the jitters, nerves, and edginess that flew all over the place.

I think he is very camera-sensitive, or that he is very confident of himself after his hair is dyed. Muahaha.

Getting ready for the group shot. All in power-black suits.

Waiting.. and waiting.. before the final member rushed back after he left the building.

Whilst we were almost packing up, the 3 naughty ones, Wilson, Roy and Brian, started to get trigger happy. Wilson and Roy were armed professionally(pun intended since there was a Smith and Wessen prop-gun for a shoot), and Brian took my digicam for the paparazzi effect.

I have no idea why but the picture captured me when my eyes were half closed.

Corporate shoot, darling… not corporate por.. oh well.

Mahjong marathon

10 hours of mahjong is just too much of an obsession.

Especially when the last round ended at 5.30am, and just when you thought you have enough…

And then… “Actually we should have played for another hour, then there would be no midnight charge…”

So we did. We scrambled to the store room to get the table and chairs out right after we had packed them into just minutes before.

Thus another hour of 3-way mahjong.

To think that I had lamented how tired I was, throughout the day, and that I was in a perpetual state of daze.

A meeting back at my office(it is scary when random people just come up to tell you that they saw you on television), and then I was so fidgety throughout cos it was so mundane.

Finally, Brian picked me up to head towards Novena Square to meet Wenmei, and then and then and then… I shall leave the recaps till tomorrow with pictures.

You know.. I am so maxed out these days that I hardly find it within me the urge to blog.

I will try. Tomorrow :)

Photoshoot for the company

Thank God for fantastic friends who helped out today at the shoot my company required.

I love love love love love the pictures taken. And I think my colleagues really had a great bargain for such quality, though I guess their cluelessness of the market price might not strike them so.

It was a mad rush. Expectations were changed, and thank God for these people who had the fabulous gift of dealing with the last-minute requirements thrown in.

The long-hours, the demanding preparations, and limitations of time and space. I am just so proud of the guys.

Thank you Roy, Wilson, Ken, and Brian.

Whee! Many many pictures taken today and I can’t wait to see them lor. I can’t believe they made me look like corporate bitch/slut…. Bleargh.

But it was great fun working with them, though I know I shortchanged them quite a bit. Hehehe.

I can’t wait to see the candid shots.

Besides that, I have so much picture I have yet to upload after spending 2 days with Minibean. *Beams widely*

So many pictures, so adorable, can?

Winding down on a holiday eve with the girlies playing mahjong, after an excruciating long day(I woke up early to do hair treatment today!) is a joy.

I had a boo boo today when I had forgotten all about my work skirt(I wore shorts and birkies for comfort sake and kept my blazer, shirt and heels in a paper bag) after I had ironed it, conveniently forgotten to put it into the paper bag.

Luckily today National Day, so everywhere got sale! I love my new skirt, 23 bucks from G2000.

I just jumped into my skirt, threw on the blazer, and put on my heels right at the car porch(at the entrance, no less), and I think I would even awe Superman. Evil Roy and Brian kept pulling up skirt just to show others my cute little pants. They even suggested I wouldn’t need to change into skirt since I would be taking upper body shots anyway.

The Japanese restaurant where we did most of the shoot is a cosy, pretty place to dine in, too(though whilst playing mahjong, cable television showed a very very cheesy commercial of it).

Okay, chill time.

I miss my bayyyybeeeeehhh.

Can’t wait to share her photographs with you guys.

Did I mention she said her first words?

That ingrate. Tsk.

And when she saw him that day, she muttered it again whilst looking at him innocently, and someone should have just captured the momentarily stunned expressions on our faces as we looked at each other, frozen with…………… whateverwordyoucanthinkof. It was quite hilarious, really.

No wonder my parents have been trying to correct her, teaching her “gong gong, po po” instead after they first heard her muttering it.

Then again, babies then to say that first. Just that she doesn’t say that when she was with me, but when he was around, she suddenly said it, which made the moment all the more a priceless one.

“Paa…. paaa… paaa….paaa!” she squealed in delight as she flapped her hands up and down in excitement.

“No baby… it’s maaaaa maaaa maaaa maaa,” I patiently corrected her. Hahaha.

Waking up today…

… There isn’t any cute, adorable, doe-eyed, absolutely heart-melting creature watching me sleep.

As I flickered my vision and greeted the day, she wasn’t kneeling right at the end of her cot, with her hands holding on to the wooden bars steadily, and flashing me a captivating smile.

Imagine the awesome surprise I had yesterday morning, as I leaned close to the cot, and she was already up, playing quietly, entertaining herself whilst Mummy was still snoozing away.

The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes, was her kneeling by the cot side, looking at me. And yes, she saw me awake and immediately beamed me a smile.

I wasn’t the last she saw when she slept on Sunday night… but I have heard all about it, from him, of how she had fell asleep right in his arm.

Just really random

I scrolled through my phone’s namelist this early noon when I had wanted a lunch companion, who would probably be free to walk around to scout for a cot, amongst many other things with me.

I scrolled through the hundreds of names, and then I did it a second time.

It is pretty sad that I simply couldn’t find anyone whom I feel I wouldn’t impose on.

Thus, I went to Jurong Point alone on a Saturday noon, before Dad was supposed to pick me up to head back to JB.

Dad asked me what time I would be free and I told him I would be done around 6pm, right after I picked up some work stuff. Eventually, I decided I want to return to JB earlier, and I told him I am ready and was waiting for him at home.

He got back only at half past 8, and we made a trip to Jurong Point to get a new cot, which ended with me only getting some beddings for Minibean, 2 cans of Similac, and me buying Dad dinner.

Dad even did his shoe shopping.

It is no wonder it ended late and Dad would drive Minibean out tomorrow morning instead. I hope he doesn’t bail me out, cos he was supposed to drive her out THIS morning.

:(

Anyway. So without the new cot, I had to rush home to clean the old one up, change the beddings, and try to tie up the broken side instead.

Can’t wait to see her tomorrow. Parents have been saying how much she has grown, and she had even tried to climb out of her cot and her walker already. This lady is a real adventurous one, I tell you.

***

Sorry sweets, I didn’t manage to give her a kiss on your behalf, “you must remember to do it with that grin on your face” didn’t happen either.

***

Looking at my sidebars, and there are 2 advertisers(Nikewomen & Citibank) which I personally feel, are brands that are close to my heart.

Since I was a teenager, all I had believed in, are Nike sneakers, that would survive me everywhere, and anywhere, and I even went through a crazy phase that I collect nothing but Nike shoes.

And when the ever-lovely Prestos came out, I was first to rush to the stores to look for the different colours and designs, and indeed, Nike is a brand that brings back so much old-times memories…

I still remember how a precious pair bought by my Dad at IMM(I remember it was Deepavali, and I got pissed off with my mum, and I got freaking blacked-out when we visited Dad’s friend who offered me a whole wine glass of undiluted, neat X.O.) was stolen when I wore it for the first time to head to Edward’s place.

Damn the thief. Argh.