Archive for January, 2007

Leaving her behind

January 30th, 2007 by admin

I have to work hard for her.I told myself that, and set myself a target to hit. It’s almost an absurd figure, but I have to do it.

I don’t want to leave her behind. I don’t want her to be elsewhere.

It was a terrible night as I try to cope with the sense of loss.

My mum’s joy was my annoyance.

I am worried about Minibean, really.

As much as I tried to sniff back those tears, my resistance was futile.

I sobbed in the dark as she tried to communicate with me, as if giving me comfort, with her gurgles.

The flu was a great cover up.

I refused to cry in front of my parents. I have always refused to. And this time, no way am I giving in either.

I got terribly annoyed this morning when I fed her and I refused to put her down, Mum said, ‘Don’t carry her! Wait she wakes up.’

Hello? I her mother you know?

Argh. I am just grouchy.

My boss’ + SBB + FF + Colleague’s SMSes were supposed to make me feel better, but they just crumbled me.

The house feels so cold and unfeeling as I stepped into it this morning.

Waking up at 6am to head out to Singapore, work, back to JB at 9pm is another option right before me.

And it is seriously tempting.

Or perhaps, work hard enough for me to afford an in-house nanny.

Posted in Minibeanism | 7 Comments »

Hiding

January 28th, 2007 by admin

Have been hiding for a while.But what will come, will come.

Today I spent the most time with her since last week, and I realised how much I have missed out in just a week.

I believe a part of me did try to distant myself from her, so it would make tomorrow’s parting a little easier.

And yes, I have learnt so much in the bank that never sleeps too.

In just a week, the corporate environment already teaches me so much more. And the journey has been bumpy, yet enjoyable so far.

Except that Minibean is constantly in my thoughts, as I wonder if I had failed as a mother, even at such an early stage.

For a moment, I wonder would I be slipping into the dreaded tot-blues. Trust me, when you have to morph yourselves into different characters to take on the world, you really don’t know who you are anymore.

You might even be fearful of yourselves.

The week hadn’t been mean to me in terms of business wise, learning wise, getting to know new friends wise, learning to cope with politics wise, ahem.. men-wise, yet something just doesn’t feel right.

Oh well, except that I feel like crap when I started a slight cough on Monday, which turned into a tummy-muscle-toning relentless cough on Tuesday, which evolved into a sore throat on Wednesday, and by Thursday, I woke up with a fever and my voice was almost irrecognisable and was a tone of husky. Throw in a dripping nose which wouldn’t stop running.

It was bad. Really bad.

Bad, because I couldn’t go near her at all.

I haven’t been spending much time with her, except on Thursday, when I wrapped a clean nappy around my face(cos I couldn’t find a mask) to breastfeed her.

And I haven’t been pumping out much milk. So, yeah, my milk supply is greatly affected by stress, work, and not-so-healthy diet.

My appetite was affected by my cough, since I would cough till the food would be puked out.

No internet access.

Cannot blog about so many people.

Bleah.

And I find myself pushing the world away so I could struggle to stand up on my own.

I awe myself with my own stubborn-ness at times.

I just wanna escape…..

All these brew into a mother of all tantrums, and a poor guy had to endure through the entire wild mood swing from yours truly, despite he had very gentlemanly accompanied me on the train and walked me to the gates of my apartment. And not forgetting trying to perk me up with some dinner cos I wasn’t feeling too well.

With me giving him death stares and silent protests most of the evening.

I was harsh enough to say, ‘You know, you possess this impossible talent to get me on my nerves.’

I got home, thought about Minibean’s arrangements, and I… just cried.

And I even avoided SBB‘s calls that Thursday night, simply because.. I wanna run away.

But his call did make it better, though I always wonder why he seems to have the special radar to my mood swings.

Eh, you install surveillance camera here huh?

I don’t know how I survived the week.

But I managed to start talking to more people, though sometimes I put myself in dangerous positions simply because I speak what I feel too much.

You know it is bad when colleagues tell you, ‘It is okay to say that to me, but don’t ever tell other people that about yourself.’

Not one. Not two. But three. Or four.

And to my mega surprise, after movie with FF and Potato on Wednesday, FF told me I give guys the impression that I need protection(uhm.. NOT with regards to how Minibean comes about).

And my colleague who is like a father-figure to me, told me the exact same thing on Friday, when I lamented to him how all guys should be buried and never see daylight because they tend to over-protect me when I don’t need(I think).

He should understand such angst. He is a father of 4 girls. Hehehehe.

(Nahbeh, Mr SBB just called and faked his voice until I didn’t recognise it. Sounded like some pervert calling me in the middle of the night cos of his poor mandarin. Argh)

Had lunch with a couple of male colleagues on Tuesday.

Met a customer on Wednesday and closed a case.

Returned to work on Thursday late since it wasn’t my duty. It was actually quite a nice opportunity to open up and talk to some of my new colleagues.

I went to SRC to meet up with my manager to do some training, and discussed about how the project went and such. My CEO recognised me and I felt more pressure to perform.

Had dinner when a colleague asked me out for dinner, which unleashed my grouchiness.

I am starting to wonder if I could push all these to… PMS. I mean er… I still haven’t gotten my period….. right?

Friday. Work. Lunch. Got drenched in the rain. Boon Kiat and I gotten a couple of brollies cos we saw 4 bankers were still stuck in Plaza Singapura. Back to office for meeting. Shared a cab with Mun Hoe back to the west. Spoke to a colleague over the phone, before I ended the night with a game of mahjong.

I didn’t leave office till 4.30pm on Saturday.

I walked aimlessly and I found myself standing at the ground floor of the building where my church is.

I went up, and it was filled with familiar faces – those of the youths.

There was a service at 5pm.

Familiar faces. Oddly felt out-of-place.

I stayed, despite the want to run away yet again.

I had dinner with a couple of the youths, before I returned to office to do some paperworks.

It was nice. I finally broke the ice with them… kinda.

(SBB is on the phone now, and he asked about her IC number, in which he responded, ‘Oh, she is the youngest person I know. And oh, she is the youngest person I know related to me.’ What the… very the lame.)

I left office to meet Vamp at around 10pm.

Had dinner.. again.

Had ice cream.

Watched Babel.

Returned home in the rain.

Today. Woke up met my ex-boyfriend who doesn’t look a bit different from 6 years ago. Had wanted to transfer my phone to my name finally, but the wait would take 2 hours.

So I went to get a new phone from M1 instead.

So, Motorola V3 Scarlet(Red), is what I got.

Not bad. My first handphone purchase… in.. er…. 7 years?

I so proud of curbing my urge to change new phones.

My old phone died on me after soaked in some water by the sink, and I have many numbers in my phone memory instead of my SIM card.

Damn.

Memories were also deleted.

And it is almost funny how I couldn’t see what I saw in him back then.

I felt a bit unwell.

Got back home and the girlies dropped by. FF, JD, with her princess, who was utterly lovely.

She pinned my hair up for me when I was breastfeeding Minibean and cleaning her ear at the same time.

It’s very cold tonight.

I miss her already.

Posted in Minibeanism | 6 Comments »

Words that made it

January 25th, 2007 by admin

And many don’t.Words elude me ever so often these days, and I had lost my voice. Physically, and metaphorically.

What could be worse? My phone died on me yesterday(with my contacts inside. I have been calling up those missed calls to ask who they are), and my spare phone battery doesn’t last long enough throughout the day.

Even my SMS voice was muted.

And when I try to think of someone whom I would love to speak to, I can’t think of any.

I am beginning to lose faith. I think bottling it up might be a better way to go.

I am sick. Quite the very sick, in fact.

But sometimes, the mental exhaustion presides over everything, and the world feels like it is gonna crush down anytime.

I am too eager to better myself, like how I promise myself I would after Minibean’s birth.

I should perhaps learn to do it, without battering myself, which I have been doing ever so often.

I closed a sale today. But I know I could have done so much better.

I knew I did well when the banker walked aside, but I could have done so much better when she was around, if I didn’t succumb to my self-consciousness with her around.

I do like her, but I guess because I haven’t exactly broken the ice with many of them, possibly due to my passiveness, or the fact that I didn’t want to intrude, I still do feel slightly nervous when working with them.

All can only get better.

I will too.

And sometimes, unhealthy competition exists to make things slightly more complicated than it should be.

I found my sanity corner somewhere outside another bank, where I could look on to the bank I working in from a short distance.

It makes me feel refreshed as if I was detached from all those conflicting feelings the place brings me.

I thought long and hard.

I realised why I was so harsh on myself. I so much wanted to do things right, do things fast, do things good, because I can’t afford to fall any further.

I am no longer responsible for myself solely, and when Minibean is finally going away on Monday, my world feels like everything has been robbed. Clean, and bald.

I am eager to better myself, yet there are things I don’t want to compromise. And confidence is an issue I have to overcome.

I psyched myself up ever so often before I gave birth that I would bounce back. Many times better. To show that I am made of strength, and fail no more.

To show that.. I am better off.

To show that.. I can shine, finally.

To show that.. I don’t need anyone.

To perhaps even show him that… I can.

To show that.. those lost confidence could be regained…..

Confidence.. ha.

Don’t get me wrong. Minibean does make my life so much better off, and if she did contribute to all that jazz, it is only that I will feel useless when I think she has to be away from me.

I really, really don’t want that to happen.

I question myself how good a mother I am?

Almost incompetent.

I have been at work all these week, and she would wait up for me(or so I believe) before she would fall asleep in my arms/looking at me.

And when those days were unfruitful(trust me, it was tiring and exhausting and discouraging and frustrating when nothing works), I think of how the time could have been better utilised to be spent with her.

Do I even realise she is outgrowing some of the clothes?

Do I even realise she is getting so much meatier?

Do I even realise she is afraid of tickles?

I missed a lot more I believe, in just days.

I can’t imagine when she is going to see me only once a week.

I don’t know.

I am just incredibly angry with myself.

I just want to be… better.

***

It would have been your 27th, Yang.

Posted in Mental Mutilation | 8 Comments »

Not-so-good day

January 22nd, 2007 by admin

Wah. After my previous posts, I received SMSes(wah, they very smart, don’t use comment box one) asking me relentlessly about my date.Eh, but, there is really nothing to be excited about cos it wasn’t a date per se, but more of like hanging out with a guy.

You know, how FF would blog about her dates.

Dictionary.com: a social appointment, engagement, or occasion arranged beforehand with another person.

Then again, the above wouldn’t be applicable since it is not really arranged beforehand, but an impromptu one since I was out in town for church service on Sunday morning.

Anyway. I had a bad day at work today.

I am working with someone whose professionalism I doubt, and that makes my days with the bank miserable.

Work isn’t picking up and this is not going to be good.

I can only cam-whore while I play the waiting game.

Honestly, I didn’t realise the box was behind me, and I thought it is quite a blatant giveaway…

Anyway. Dad called to say Mum might not be able to take care of Minibean cos they might be away for a week in early February, after my nanny leaves.

I was a wee bit stressed, and I teared at work.

Useless bum.

I only had 3 hours of sleep. Grouchy.

I realised I forgot my EZLink card.

And now, coughs are brewing.

And it’s sad to see my milk supply cut to half its usual volume with my recent stress.

But some men(cough).. and a tiny lady cheered me up.

SBB called while I was walking home from the MRT, and asked about my work and Minibean. He remembered my rants over the weekend on how tough it is to be in a competitive environment.

It was nice. I probably felt better after the call.

As I was talking to him, I looked up to my apartment, and saw my nanny standing there with Minibean, greeting me.

It’s so brilliant to be home.

***

My colleague was in the office busying himself with furious scribblings.

I jokingly asked why I didn’t have one of those cards he was writing, and then a series of happenings in the office caused some unhappiness(not involving the banking side).

After a while, I was bored and sat by his table, and was surprised to see an envelope with my name on it. *Beams*

‘Eh? Why my name? For me one right?’

And it was nicely sealed. Impressive.

I hope he didn’t lick it or something.

The multi-purposes-all-in-one(a bit cheapo) card was his effort of trying to cheer me up at work, and his very nice handwriting(never ever in my life would I ever write that nicely. Though I shall say that his Chinese writing sucks) did work its magic.

Pretty sweet, isn’t it?

But, where is Hari Raya and Deepavali?

(Heh, at this point, Minibean just fell asleep after looking on to me typing)

Oh, so who did I go out with on a Sunday from lunch to dinner and made me waited for him?

Let’s just say he is a new colleague(don’t ask me why we went out though we only knew each other for 2 days). Nothing much, really. Just that if I blog about it, people might read too much into it.

And we all know, Singapore is WAAAAAY too small.

Too small for comfort.

(Shucks. She is coughing slightly. I hope I didn’t pass it to her. Damn).

And by now, you might have put one and one together, laughs.

The thoughtful one with graceful scribbles.

Did I mention he has a picture of me(+ Minibean) in his wallet?

That is another story altogether. Trust me, the story is less exciting than it looks.

I am slightly apprehensive now. I am afraid he might have a secret agenda to make my daughter his wife or something.

Muahahaha.

All in all, I think I just bag a very nice pal.

Posted in Pageantry of Decadence | 8 Comments »

Hmm…

January 22nd, 2007 by admin

I went on a date today.Er… well, kinda.

Heh.

No details though.

Tsk. Told ya my blog ain’t private enough.

Posted in Pageantry of Decadence | 3 Comments »

I..

January 20th, 2007 by admin

… Am slightly annoyed cos the post I had drafted when I really didn’t feel like blogging, vanished when Firefox decided to go against me.…. Really have no idea what to write anymore.

This week whizzes past just like this, and the most significant things I have accomplished would be collecting her citizenship certificate from Malaysia Embassy on Wednesday, her passport on Thursday(managed to squeeze in the errand during lunch time), and finally submitted her PR application today.

If all else proceed well, she would be a PR on the 29th Jan, which would be a really good news. But it could mean bad news to me too, since after that, she would be returning to Malaysia, away from me.

The wait time today was short, and because Minibean was with me, I was given a special queue number which was served promptly, despite the usual queue number was already all given out by 8.32am.

I was there a quarter past 11, and left by 12noon.

The hardest part was when I was told to draft a letter of declaration since I do not have a marriage certificate which is essential for the application. It was pretty funny when I had the officer reciting the contents to me, and I tried to keep up by writing them down word-for-word. She had commented on the ambiguity of some words, and asked me to amend it.

“….. The reason ofmy non-marital status is because men out there are too good for me. HA! me not married to the baby’s father is because….”

***

I had a slightly easy early part of the week, but the hectic style picked up towards the weekend.

Dad drove me and Minibean to Grand Copthorne Hotel for Evelyn’s wedding lunch, and it was a surprise to bump into tinkertailor there.

What can I say? It’s a small world after all.

I met up with Cindy for a while since she works there, and her very good friend, ahem, bumped into me at my workplace yesterday.

What coincidence.

I shared a cab home in the heavy rain with my colleagues, and couldn’t wait to get some rest and private time to myself after having only 4 hours of sleep yesterday since I gotta get her PR application done.

The day before, 4 hours too.

Waking up at 6.45am to work is not funny.

***

Minibean has definitely grown so much.

I miss her on the days I work and return home later, so much so that I could forsake my sleep just to cuddle her more, latch her on(breastfeed) more in the night, as well as in the morning.

I scared she forget me, or my smell.

***

I finally took public transport home yesterday.

There was a meeting after work yesterday and.. I can’t seem to find a voice here anymore since I started work, cos I really have much to say, but this isn’t an appropriate place to do so.

Thank God for nice people I meet at work.

I do have some very nice and sincere colleagues, though I must remind myself not to be so passive and shy.

Like what Boon Kiat(I tell you, he is such a nice person!) says, I really need to get out of my comfort zone to be proactive in building rapport.

I really do get tongue tied and speak funnily when I meet new people. I am not kidding.

And because my new environment does have a lot of very, very nice people, they make the transitions and the not-so-nice things so much more bearable.

But I hope I do not end up feeling the need to shy away or to cling on to a floating piece of wood when the waves get choppy.

Contrary to the theory.. this particular bank doesn’t really have that much cute guys. Sigh.

Haha, not that I am there for any.

But the girls are cute though.

***

I officially started on Thursday.

And I almost forgot the term ‘peak-hour traffic’. Even though I had headed out early at 7.50am, a cab came along only at 8.20am, and that is AFTER I had called for a cab when the wait got a little draggy.

I managed to get there in time for the morning meeting, before heading out for breakkie with 2 of the bankers.

The 2 days I was at the bank went by really slowly. So slow that I questioned myself if this is the right track.

It was easier when I took Minibean’s pictures out for a glimpse on and off.

Am still staying positive for the coming weeks.

***

Had dinner with Raf on Thursday, and bought myself a new manual breastpump with some vouchers given to me.

My electric one couldn’t be used properly at work, and I thought a manual one might fit better.

And oh yes, it was good, and causes less pain. Though a lot of the milk does trap in the pump.

I headed off to meet Vamp at the Martell event to chill a little before heading home.

I needed to chill and rant to someone before I go insane.

***

The productive things that got done this week are collection of Minibean’s citizenship on Wednesday, her passport on Thursday(it has a really ugly picture!), and submitting her PR application today.

I managed to squeeze in the errand during lunch time on Thursday, and it was less than 20 minutes before I got it.

Efficiency!

Wednesday was pretty alright, since I got everything collected promptly. Even with the queue wait, Dad and I lunched near my office, and thus, the waiting time didn’t seem that long really.

I was waaaayyy tired on Wednesday after feeling not too well for the first half of the week, and the fact that I didn’t sleep much on Tuesday night.

***

I spent my Monday and Tuesday home and just looking at Minibean lots.

I think I played mahjong on one of those evenings.

Or was it Wednesday?

***

Really nothing much worth mentioning.

Anything else, is not for the public eyes.

And I can’t tell you just how irritating that is.

Posted in Life's Fillers | 2 Comments »

Fever

January 14th, 2007 by admin

Never know how much I love you
Never know how much I care,
When you put your arms around me
I get a fever that’s so hard to bear

You give me fever, when you kiss me
Fever when you hold me tight.
Fever, in the morning,
Fever all though the night.

Sun lights up the daytime,
Moon lights up the night
And I light up when you call my name
And Oooh I’m gonna treat you right

Whoever who talk about labour pains and potpot snipsnip pain, has obviously forgot to warn us about Mastitis, an infection brought on by blocked milk ducts.

I felt the flu-like aches, and uncontrollable shivers from the cold. My goosebumps littered all over my body, and I was growing increasingly uncomfortable on a Saturday night.

I was even contemplating on heading out for roller-blading after feeding Minibean since she was already deep asleep(Damn, very long no blade already. Do I still remember how to?!).

But the sharp pains at the side of my right boob was excruciating. Never did I feel such intense pain on my boob. I even had problems lifting my arms and each step I took was careful, in case the movements would cause the burning-like pains.

I remember the gift from the NPCC guys, and whipped it out of the drawer.


A blocked milk duct can do such black magic on me.

Fortunately, Mastitis doesn’t affect breastfeeding, and I went ahead to feed Minibean in the wee hours, though it was darn painful and my head felt darn heavy.

Damn sick.

***

We(Vamp, Uncle Jer, FF, Mr Guniang) were supposed to meet up last evening for dinner. When they told me of the meet-up on Tuesday, I was already pretty sure that I wouldn’t turn up(I don’t like to feel extra, you see).

And I was half-expecting Vamp and Uncle Jer to back out too(what’s new!).

Yay! I was right. I wanted to stay home to spend time with Minibean, decided I wouldn’t meet up with them unless they are going to play mahjong at my place. Vamp who had then said would meet up for dinner, changed her plans and said she would meet up for post-dinner programs, and later decided not to meet up at all.

Hehehe. And thus, plenty of space and opportunities were left to the remaining people.

So I spent most of my day with Minibean, seeing her smile excessively, and occasionally making baby sounds to me, as if in response to me talking to her.

It is amazing how it seems like she understood everything we said.

I jokingly asked, ‘Baby where’s your hand?’ and she looked on to me puzzledly.

I then held up her right hand and said, ‘This is your hand!’

The next time I asked, she actually brought up her right hand to hit my left.

Hehe, though it might be argued that she was just moving her hands at the right moment, instead of knowing what is really happening, it is really about what I would like to believe. :)

She wouldn’t stop smiling, and I tried capturing it on video, and I couldn’t resist taking one still shot from it.

I am glad I spent my Saturday at home.


And yes, I sound horrible. Seriously, it will be wiser for you to watch the clip, muted. And you can faintly see her dimple when she smiles.At 5 plus, close to 6, Francis, Alvin and Denise came over for a game of mahjong. With my reluctance to head out of the house, mahjong seems like the best option for me to fill my weekends.I was right. Minibean responded much better to male voices than female! It’s odd since babies tend to prefer higher pitched voices.

She looked at Denise perturbedly, and smiled when Alvin tried to talk to her. Tsk tsk.

After having some attention, she had her milk and drifted off to a deep sleep in the hall, despite us playing mahjong in the hall too.

Like a little worm, all cocooned up.
Awww….

***

Minibean on Friday morning, before she hit the showers.

So sexy huh!

Traffic was a killer on Friday morning. It took me an hour to reach MacDonald House even though Dad had given me a lift.

I got home on Friday, slightly drenched, with the ceaseless rain outside.

Due to some legal issues, I don’t think I can start at the bank till Tuesday. Despite looking forward to start on Friday, we didn’t get to do so, but we were introduced to the branch managers, and were told of expectations and such.

With that, we were dismissed, and I headed to Plaza Singapura for lunch with Kristin, Glenn and Boon Kiat, before we headed back to office.

I wore my heels for the first time, and man, it was comfortable though I wasn’t quite used to the 3-inch height.

I pumped before the meeting started, and was aghasted when the silly pump gave up on me after I pumped one side.

Had to do it manually then.

Went for meeting, which ended late, and I was stuck in the rain post-meeting. Had wanted to talk to my manager over some issues and perhaps update him on the upcoming stint.

But he was so busy with visitors that I decided to go to the loo to pump again, with new batteries. I realised the problem wasn’t the batteries, and I had to take matters into my own hands again.

Before I could finish, I already heard him heading for home(toilet near the lift).

I left in the rain after FF and Janise told me separately that they wanted to play mahjong. What can I say? Newbies always have the zest! I thought staying home on a Friday rainy night with a game or two wasn’t too bad an idea. I got Alvin to join us and the game didn’t start till it was almost 11.

On my way home in the cab, I thought to myself that I had yet to get myself a mahjong table to replace the old one.

But I was looking so wrong to head to the neighbourhood to get a table.

I was wearing a work dress which restricted my gait, a blazer, and my heels, carrying eggs, milk bag, and my working bag.

But I thought I might as well get it over and done with since I was on a cab….

I asked uncle if it was possible to put a mahjong table in his cab, and he told me there wasn’t any problem.

Eventually, I alighted to get one of the cheapest ones, paid for it, and the very nice uncle enthusiastically carried it to the waiting cab for me, as I followed him in the drizzle, struggling to maintain my balance on heels.

Cab uncle carried it off the cab for me, and placed it next to the lobby door.

Even the cab uncle was slightly bemused and told me it would be laughable to see someone dressed like me carrying/buying a mahjong table on a rainy night like this.

Looking the way I was dressed, no way I could possibly carry it to the lift landing despite the short distance.

So, I used the intercom to get my nanny down, ‘Hmm, I need a little help from you. I wait for you downstairs.’

When she approached the door, I gave a cheeky grin and let out a sheepish laugh.

‘Tadang!!’ I beamed.

She laughed and went, ‘You really did it?!’

I had told her several times I wanna get one but don’t know how to carry it back despite the short distance.

And on a rainy night like this, and wearing the most uncomfortable gear, I actually managed to lug one home.

‘Is there anything else you couldn’t and wouldn’t do?’ she asked, amused.

***

I couldn’t wait to get into the showers, and remove my makeup, wash up, so that I could play with the little one.

The smart lass actually turned her head and leaned towards my face whenever I put my face next to her, asking for a kiss.

She did it not once, but a few times, and I just put my cheek next to her, for her to slam her face into mine, leaving a trail of drool on my face.

Awww..

***

I took a long sleep to sleep off the fever.

I woke up with boobs that felt like stones.

I bet Minibean would hurt her head if she were to bump into them.

I drenched my top from the leakage, something that hadn’t happened since early days of my confinement.

I walked cautiously with each step because of the immense pain from the infection.

I decided to ease the pain from the engorgement first before I take lunch.

After the leakage and blockage, I was half expecting a slow and limited flow.

Never did I expect to sit till my legs were numbed, for more than an hour and half.

The pump stopped at 130ml, which is considered rather much these days.

Then, with the pain still lingering, I tried to hand squeeze to ease the engorgement.

And I had my record amount of milk, ever(though some others could easily have such amount, it isn’t the case for me).

8 oz! 220ml! I feel like a cow! Even my nanny called me a cow.

Moooo….

I could almost fill the bottle!

What can I say? Size seriously doesn’t matter.

Miraculously, boobs feel much better thereafter, though the pain from the infection is still here.

If only I could keep up with such supply, and I wouldn’t have to rely on formula.

But her appetite is indeed scary. She had increased her intake to 80ml a week ago, and today, we increased her intake to 100ml.

And sometimes, she has 140ml within an hour.

No wonder her cheeks are getting rounder.. Gee.

And with rates like this, it is highly unlikely of me to keep up with total breastfeeding. Sigh.

Alrighty. Pump time.

Posted in Minibeanism | 9 Comments »

Mad week

January 11th, 2007 by admin

It has been a mad week.Many thoughts.

Many happenings.

Many things.

Every aspect.

But I realise this is the wrong place for me to pen down anything.

***

I finally have the luxury of time to see to some stuff yesterday and today. My posting to the bank was supposed to kick off yesterday, but due to some legal issues involved, it would be postponed to tomorrow instead.

Which isn’t too bad for me, cos I had really needed an extra day to run around to get things done.

And the happy thing is, I can put Minibean on total breastfeeding for the past 24 hours since I can readily breastfeed her, or unhurriedly pump and squeeze(oh, I realise my hands can get more milk than the pump!) to get enough milk for her.

These 2 days have also bled my bank account dry. I bought myself a financial calculator which is blardy expensive(that’s why I put off buying it for so long), and I don’t even dare to use it to calculate the accumulated expenses for the past week.

My expenses for the past 2 days can easily hit 4-figures.

But mostly spent on stuff that I should have gotten earlier on, but putting off the shopping till the very last minute.

Main bulk of it, was spent on a digital camera my dad had wanted, and because I didn’t get him any birthday present, I got it for him when we dropped by Sim Lim Square today.

Of course, I do have another hidden agenda. I told him that he must use the camera to take a picture of Minibean for everyday when I am not around, when she finally has to be placed under my Mum’s care(sob sob).

I think poor Minibean is going to have a hard time. I nearly fainted when my Mum told me how she is going to train Minibean to pee and poo only at a fixed time everyday. I exclaimed she is only a month and half old, and how would she suppose to control?

Then my Mum told me how she had trained me like this too when I was a newborn.

Sadist.

Minibean is a poor thing today. She had wailed non-stop last night but no one had given a hoot about her. Basically, we are trying to get her used to not having us to carry her, and also to get her to sleep less in the day, and less active at night.

She is always awake and alert in the middle of the night, but deep asleep in the day.

Well…………………. we all know where she got that routine from.

Today, she sulked and pouted when I was about to leave home with Dad in late morning, cos she had expected us to be her ‘saviors’, carrying her and giving her ample attention.
Apparently, the air was a little chilly earlier, and she had wanted some warmth from us. Ah, smart one. She is good at giving the doe-eyed looks with her puppy-liked eyes, that never fails to melt me…

I have to resist cuddling her up into my arms to hush her.

Last night when she was in between her heart-wrenching sobs, I nearly wanted to cry together with her, knowing how hard it was for her, as we tried to get her adjusted to her new feeding/sleeping routine.

I hope she doesn’t hate me for ignoring her pleading cries.

***

Woke up. Pumped milk. Spoke to SBB. Went down ICA. Sim Lim. Back to ICA. Home. Lunch. Pumped milk. Blog, or rather, blogging.

I rushed down to ICA with Dad today to get a special pass to extend her stay in Singapore. Thank God, she is given another 30 days while her Malaysia citizenship is on the way. The next step would be getting her passport done once the citizenship is ready for collection. And finally, the PR.

Like how I am always having not-so-good luck, I got to ICA when it was lunchtime. There wasn’t anyone in the queue, and I was served by this lady pretty promptly. Problem is, she was the stand-in, and the authorised person wouldn’t be back till lunch is over, which was 2 hours later.

Bleah.

I went to look for Dad who was waiting for me, and I suggested that we could use the time to head home for lunch, or if we weren’t too hungry, I needed to head to Sim Lim to get my calculator since I am starting work tomorrow.

Sim Lim was near, and we decided the hunger was bearable.

In we stepped to Sim Lim, and I walked out a very broke lady.

But I am happy, cos it has been a long while since I gotten Dad a present. Something he can bring along with him everywhere he goes, and remember me by(Hmm, how does taking endless pictures of me with the new camera sound?).

We went back to ICA to collect her special pass. It would have been pretty fast if not that I spent another 20 minutes waiting for the person to come back. The wait was less than 5 minutes once the very amicable officer returned to his desk.

Went to another storey to enquire about her PR application, and took a form back with me. Hopefully things will sail smoothly hereon forth.

***

Very tired. The weather out there is meant to be spent making out resting, sleeping, reading, or blogging at home.

It hasn’t stopped raining for every day since Sunday.

***

Fortunately, the weather was lenient enough for us to head out in the afternoon yesterday. I was pretty glad the co-ordinator from the bank messaged us on Tuesday to inform us that we need not to turn up till Friday.

Yipppeeeee.

Cos Minibean has her paediatrician appointment on Wednesday afternoon.

I had a very, very, very fulfilling sleep. 11 hours! Straight. Woohooo!!

We didn’t even have the time to do lunch before we headed out.

I was not really keen on staying out post-checkup, yet I thought of how I might not have much chances to be out with her once I am back in the corporate world.

Thus, I suggested to nanny that we would have a girlie day out in town after she was done with her checkup.

My Minibean is no longer mini. She is now 4kg, compared to her birth weight of 2.985kg, and discharged weight of 2.8kg.

And last week, when we brought her to the polyclinic, which was merely 5 days before, she was only 3.6kg. She gained like almost 100g per day.

I remember the days when all the cutie clothes were too big for her. Now? She has to parade them everyday before she outgrows them, which will be pretty soon.

The fast-growing bean is also getting smarter day by day.

I saw how she had spitted out her pacifier(she is not really a fan of it, but we use it to curb her hunger when we warm up the milk), and when it landed next to her face, she tilted her head to the right, licked it, before launching her tiny mouth at it, and picking it up with her mouth.

Without any adult’s help at all!

That happened like, early last week?

She is growing fast cos she is quite a glutton. You feed her breast milk, she takes. You feed her formulae, she is happy too. You feed her water, she doesn’t mind either. I think if I pour vodka into her milk bottle, she would gladly down it too!

She is also getting acquainted with the skills of emotional blackmailing… knowing that she could turn to another person when one refuses her attention or giving in to her.

Smart lass.

She also knows how to kick her limbs in response whenever we adults talk to her, and she would shape her mouth into an ‘O’ as if she wants to speak out and converse with us. Sometimes, she would throw in a smile or two, and rarely, her new skill – vocalising a chuckle or 2. I heard her chuckling in her sleep just last night, though I kick myself for seeing it for myself cos I was at the dining table and not beside her.

Did I mention how she knows how to burp herself? We would just sit her up or prop her over our shoulders, and many times, before we start patting her back, she would let out a satisfying loud burp without our help.

Oh, her farts are incredibly stinko though.

So many things. I can’t believe I have to miss out some phases of her growth once she has to go back to Malaysia.

Once I settle her PR status, I would want to appeal for Mum to be able to allow into Singapore for a month or so, so I could at least be with her for the first 3 months.

As I return to work, I realise how the more tired you are, the more you tend to think of the little one at home.

***

I realised I hadn’t taken any pictures of her crying.

Here is one of her when we delayed her meal, after dressing up for the day out.

After a nice, full lunch, she slept all the way as we took a cab to NUH for her checkup.

It was a pretty alright wait, and everything came back fine. As we were leaving, I saw a newborn with her gorgeous parents. When I saw her, my eyes litted cos she looks so much like Minibean when she was borned.

I don’t just mean how newborns all look alike(after my delivery, I went to the nursery ward and the babies don’t look the same), but the individual features(slitty eyes… and the works, she’s even slightly tanned, like Minibean!), and even the hair!

I asked my nanny to take a look, and if Minibean is still a newborn, they would have looked like twins!

I kinda miss the days when she was small like a kitten… and also the days when she was still kicking in my tummy.

We had lunch at the hospital before we took a cab down to Wisma.

There, I got myself a pair of heels(Sale!) to replace the worn out pair(it didn’t even last me one work week!). I really have to get used to wearing heels again cos my boss would think there is no excuse for me not to wear them since I am no longer pregs.

But my back has to suffer for them, obviously.

Stupid me forgot to use my Wisma voucher.

We then ventured into Isetan, and this cute 3 month old caucasian boy with big, blue eyes were eagerly kicking when he saw us. Minibean is flaunting her charms already.

My nanny then went to get herself 2 pair of shoes, and tried to get me to buy another pair of shoes at Charles and Keith. I am surprised that I was hardly moved to buy anymore, cos I am those kind who would buy a new pair when the previous pair is worn out.

She told me she is the kind who would buy non-stop, as long as she likes it. She even bought clothes of same design, 4 different colours before, cos she simply didn’t know which to choose.

!!!!!!!!

She is definitely the shopper, not me.

I tried on a Forever 21 babydoll dress for the sake of it, and wooohooo, it was nice. I envisioned myself pushing the stroller in it, and thought it would be nice. Nanny tried to get me to buy it too, and I decided against it(tsk tsk, these are the kind of people we shouldn’t shop with!).

I awe myself with my brilliant self control.

Takashimaya was next, I got myself a blazer(sale!) from Zara. Didn’t get myself matching pants to save $, and also that the bank did say before they prefer skirts to pants(??) though I have no idea why.

Couldn’t find a fitting skirt though.

Baby was asleep most of the time, and I utilised the nursing room in the ladies for feeding when she woke up.

Bought a couple of bermudas from Takashimaya sale, before we headed home in a cab, totally bushed.

She woke up and demanded another feed, before she was coaxed to sleep after a long, tiring day.


She was showered with lotsa attention from passers-by, and I was amused when someone said, ‘Hi! Shake hand?’

I was half-hoping she would reach out her hand, before I remembered she was just a month plus old. Heh.

When we were in the lift at the lobby, a Japanese man kindly held the door for us, and couldn’t stop looking at her.

Very handsome, he said. Before he asked if Minibean is a girl or boy. He laughed and quickly said ‘very beautiful’ instead.

He likes her nose, apparently. Alright, Mummy will pinch it more often so you wouldn’t have flat nose like SBB Mummy.


See, I can understand why people mistook her for boy despite her pink ensemble.

And yes, you could hardly see her defined, chiselled jawline like before. She even has a double chin!

But I think she is getting a little fairer. Good, good.

***

After only 3 hours of sleep due to some, ahem, reasons(one of which is Minibean refused to sleep till 4 plus) I woke up on Tuesday feeling strangely awake.

Dad drove me down to the bank for last day of training(perks of having Minibean around since he drops by twice everyday to see her), and I was too lazy to dress/doll up.

I turned up in my glasses, and everyone commented how geeky I was.

When we left the building in the drizzle to head to Suntec(Gee, these days I am always caught in the rain without brolly) for a kick-off meeting where I met many of my colleagues whom I hadn’t met in a long while, we were lucky to have a cab stopping right in front of us. The others had to wait quite a bit and walk quite a distance.

It was a lot of ‘oh hi! You tummy missing already!’, ‘Gee! You are back?’, ‘Hey! How’s your baby?’ and ‘You slim down so fast??’(glee glee glee).

Of course, the boss was asking, ‘Why are you in your glasses today?’. Usually when I am in glasses, I am sans makeup, which means I look like shit and hardly professional.

The meeting was interesting but tiring. It wasn’t a while before I had to excuse myself to go express milk. Suntec toilets are exceptionally smelly and I managed to find somewhere which wasn’t so.

When I left the meeting early(it was held in the auditorium of The Rock), I forgot to bring my milk with me! I had to run back to get my colleagues to pass to me.

Bleah. My milk has always suffered weirdass fate with my muddle-headedness.

I went back to office to pick up some documents, some name cards, before I took a cab to where VampTreSS, Potato and her Potatoman, Lala, Aaron, and babelicious talent Emmelind were at.

Some obscure area in Portsdown area, where the cab driver dropped me off at the wrong place, and I had to walk a blardy long distance to get to where they were. Feet pain.

It was a very, very nice area. It is somewhere where I would like to hide away from the rest of the world.

We left around 7.30pm, and walked towards the main road. The main road was like a ghost town too, and the 3 silly girls(Vamp + Emm + Me) sat at the bus stop without a single vehicle going past.

Finally, a cab stopped by for us, and we finally left the bus stop after a 20-minutes wait.

Vamp and I met up with FF at Ghim Moh for cereal crayfish. I gotten myself some contact lenses which weren’t cheap at all(I saw coloured disposable lenses at NUH, 3 for $59, FreshKon one somemore!).

I love spending time with my girlies :)

***

Last Saturday, I went for the training session which was at my boss’ place since his wife was the one coaching us(the 3 of us going to be stationed out). It started pretty late and I was once again in the East.

We were discussing about the coming stint at the bank, with some of his views regarding the whole thing.

Had wanted to join the rest for another blading session, but by the time we left his place, it was already 2 plus, and we joined the couple for late night supper of soya bean milk and egg tart somewhere at Geylang area.

All three of us took a lift from Annabelle(boss’ sister) who is staying in the west, like all of us.

It was nice, and I finally could get to know some of the agency people better since I know my main struggle has always been trying to fit in to a new environment. And yes, I still deem the place a new environment. Even more so since I am back again after quite a long absence.

I have some thoughts going on.

But this may not be the appropriate place to voice it out.

***

Sunday.

Woke up in the morning for a job I agreed to. A shoot for the launch of a new, exclusive resort/club.

VampTreSS had approached me earlier on and I readily agreed since I had told her I am keen on earning extra bucks.

And since it was on a Sunday… why not?

Problem was, after I had accepted the job, I was informed there would be a meeting back at the company amongst our agency people on Sunday.

But since I already accepted the job, and there was ready cash, I thought I could probably finish up with the half day shoot, before rushing down for the meeting.

The shoot was at yet another obscure area of Singapore, where the rich resides.

It took me a long time to find the place, with my cab fare double of that compared to my return fare from the same place.

The place.. was pretty majestic, as it was the home borrowed from the production company’s boss’ friend.

I walked into the waiting room, where the production team had already marked their territory.

The leads of the video shoot were gorgeous Serena and suave James(whom I commented bears a slight resemblance to Gurmit Singh. Of course, he was much, much handsome-r).

Serena was doing her hair, with Jane and Jessie fussing over her.

The double Js finished up with her, and started doing my makeup and hair.

We waited, as they finished their scene.

This was where my scene took place.

But it was lunch time for the others, so I waited, and explored the place with the owner’s daughter, who is a very impressive 14-year old.

The koi pond, leading to the dining area.

I was very excited when I heard they own 2 huskies.

Whee!

I love the one on the right cos she has got blue eyes!

And they were so excited when they saw me that they nearly dragged me into their shed even though I was standing outside their wooden fence.

I love huskies! They are very strong, and you could vaguely make out the scratches on my arms as they pounce on me as I stood near their fence.

Me playing with the one with blue eye, whilst the other husky was more interested in the red, hot machine.

And yes, I know nursing bra in nude colour isn’t exactly sexy.

Jane, the stylist-cum-makeup artist who has massage experience, teaching me how to massage Serena.

Muahaha, my newly acquired skills, alright!

Nobody to try on though.

And so, I roamed my hands over the silky-skinned Serena… and guys would kill to be in my position.

It ended pretty late in the afternoon, and as I was waiting for VampTreSS to arrive, they thought they would need me for another scene.

I love to see how production works, and I stood around while waiting for their instructions.

Jane gave me a new hairstyle, with my hair straightened!

I miss straight hair!

The 2 darlings who made my day so much livelier! Jane and Jessie! They are really good, and they are from the Face Cafe, located at Holland Village. Real nice people too!

Jane, Eva, Jessie and me.

Yay! Everyone found it unbelieveable I just gave birth a month ago. Whee!

Even James went, ‘is it true?!’.

But sadly, I put on 3kg back. :(

I hate to admit, but I still feel darn conscious and inferior about myself at this stage.

It was half past 6 when it finally finished(though I stayed on for nothing in the end, bleargh), and I couldn’t wait to get home to Minibean, after I did some grocery shopping at the Cold Storage.

I miss the little darling, who was wide awake and hungry when I got back.

I did a little cleaning up before I breastfed her.

The little one, after she was all full and happy.

Woops, blur.

Erm, she yawned.

Finally, a decent one! Eh, but why one eye smaller?

Come, Mummy gives you a smooch.

My little one loves to play.


When I was breastfeeding, my manager messaged me to ask, ‘So what happened today?’, and I told him frankly and matter-of-factly that I had agreed to this shoot and it dragged on. I apologised and by the time I finished all the washing up, pumping, feeding, and babytalking, it was already pretty late.

And I had to prepare for my exam the next day, which I didn’t even start on!

Eventually, I was occupied by other stuff, feeling all maxed out and fell asleep early after a short call with SBB.

I had a fulfilling 8 or 9 hours of sleep before I woke up.

Boss was apparently very displeased with my absence from the meeting. I know where he is coming from.. yet I guess, it would be hard for him to understand that I would just go where the money goes, as well as I was keeping to an agreement I had with a friend. I couldn’t possibly leave her scrambling looking for someone else?

I ended up chatting with my nanny, playing with Minibean, before I realised I hadn’t even went past 2 chapters of my revision yet.

I struggled, and contemplated on opting out. Then I remembered I had to pay for the exam out of my own pocket, and decided to go ahead.

I didn’t manage to read the textbook, and survived on one set of the mock questions instead.

I was late for the exam, but I ‘caught’ enough questions to breeze through the exam.

I heaved a sigh of relief, cos the exam weighted heavily on me throughout the weekend, and I knew I didn’t have enough energy nor time for any revision after a hectic week, and I was expecting to resit for it.

I went around Suntec looking for stuff I needed to get, and gotten Minibean a cellular blanket so she could use when she goes to my mum’s.

I then walked around Marina Square, ran some errands(stupid UOB’s machines were out-of-service), before taking a train back home to feed Minibean.

And.. like I said, some thoughts can’t be bared here.

***

Monday so shouldn’t have rained in the middle of the night.

It started raining just when he was about to leave.

***

Auntie FF braved the rain to visit Minibean and got all drenched. Nanny cooked her share of dinner too and we had dinner together with the rain falling outside.

Minibean was so tired that she didn’t even wake up for her routine meal.

I tested out Dad’s new camera and took Minibean changing into her blue jumpsuit. And gee, she does look like a boy.

Here, Minibean with her multi-expressions:

The usual tongue-sticking out shot.

How do you do that with your lip?

I love this picture of her when she was laughing with her mouth wide open.

Time to change into her PJs!

I love to see her smile. *beams*

Bed time!

***

Gasp.

Someone, asked me out on Sunday when I was doing my shoot.

Then uh, my ex whom I hadn’t met for 5 years plus asked me out too.

If only they knew..

***

I finally passed him the birth announcement box, a gift, a couple of some other stuff and a book after holding them for quite a while.

The scent lingered.. in the room. On me.

***

SBB was scrolling the pictures on my desktop on Monday night when he insisted she is cross-eyed.

I insist, she is not!!

She just can’t co-ordinate her eye-movements yet like any other newborns.

He placed his finger right before my eyes, and I instinctively stared at it with my eyes crossed, and he used it to state his point, ‘See, she has gotten it from you.’

‘Yay. She looks like me, she has the better features,’ he smirked.

‘Nahbeh, saying I ugly huh?’

Yadda, yadda…

‘She has a relatively mature face compared to other month-old baby,’ I said.

‘See, she must have gotten that from you, chao lau(old) face,’ he insisted.

That’s not true.

“At least she has my brains, and that’s all that matters,” I smirked in response.

***

Like I said twice before in this post, haha, some thoughts cannot be revealed here, yet again.

@Y#*&^^#

I keep blog for what?

Hahahaha

***

On a rainy night, a nice, lingering cuddle seems strangely kinda good.

It felt strangely distant as I held my breath.

It felt strangely familiar.

It felt strangely safe.

It felt strangely ha, suppressed.

Yadda… yadda… yadda… blar blar blar…(censored thoughts here)

And no, he didn’t get to see her.

Yet, I was glad, he was by my side, once more.

Posted in Minibeanism, Pageantry of Decadence | 11 Comments »

New Vice

January 6th, 2007 by admin

Wah. I have to get many things done before I start work soon.Like, lose 3 kg? I gained 3 kg back after Jiali bought me Godivas, Janise gotten me more Royce on Minibean’s full month. Oh, did I mention how Dad brought back another 2 boxes of chocolates for me?

My ex-colleague from Playworks had tempted me with chocolates he bought whilst on a trip to Vietnam.

*@*@$&*%$^@%$@&$

My company’s personnel who went through the course with us was pretty surprised to know that I had given birth only a month ago(‘Har? One month can like that ah?!‘), and had joked that he should send his wife to me to go through ‘training’, cos she has yet to slim down after 2 years.

Men ah!

Another thing I gotta do – Get used to heels.

I almost forgot about balancing on heels, alright?

***

I am pretty upset that I am no longer total breastfeeding since I am back at work. But I am still trying my darnest best that she relies on formulae only when there isn’t enough. Hopefully 2 or 3 feeds of formulae compare to 5 or 6 breastmilk.

Exactly a week ago, I acquired a new vice in a bid to lose those flabs, and er, help me to get accustomed to balancing.

It all started when we had dinner on the evening of Roy’s birthday.

Oh speaking of the dinner, I remember walking from Playworks office all the way to Sim Lim in my blazer and all, tormenting my poor feet with the pair of heels I was in.

It was the first time I wore heels in a long, long while.

We had dinner just next to Sim Lim, and quite a few people turned up. Brian, Mindy, Nick, Audrey, Jianmin, Sharon, Tracy, Roy’s brother & girlfriend, Weipeng, Roy and me.

Small and cosy affair.

Roy kept asking why didn’t I like, really asked him for his help to put his name in Minibean’s birth certificate, or that I didn’t ask SBB‘s help since it was the least he could do.

I shrugged. I really don’t know.

I joked to Roy that I would probably ask for a share of his fortune if he were to put his name down on Minibean’s birth certificate, and he was smart enough to say that if that were to happen, he would suggest a DNA test.

Bugger.

I then joked that someone at the table would have similar strands of DNA to Minibean, since they are related.

It took a while for them to figure out that my cousin was actually at the table.

Mindy and I scrolled through some of the pictures Roy took of Minibean on Christmas Day, and there was this particular picture of her throwing up her milk that ahem, roused our interest.

I thought it looked rather suggestive, and Mindy added on that with 2 dogs next to Minibean, the picture seemed rather……

We hurhurhur-ed at our sick minds, before Brian came over and exclaimed, ‘Eh come on lah, she’s just a baby! You guys are sick!’.

*Cough*

After dinner, we strolled to Breko’s over at Bugis, and coffeed.

I assaulted Roy in retaliation after he made a silly joke about me, that he felt so raped violated that he had told me not to blog about it.

Muahahaha.

I could still remember how the others were laughing and shooting me approving looks when it happened that I thought I had done something reaaallllly wrong.

Eventually, that started off a chain of motherhood-related topic, especially when I fished out the breast shells, breast pump funnel from my bag.

They even challenged each other to taste my milk. From the milk bottle, not direct from source obviously. Alas, no one dared to take up the challenge.

I told them how baby cries, or hot drink would engorge the breasts and make me leak, how breastfeeding would delay the start of menstruation cycle, how the nipple would swell up to fill up the funnel passage when pumping, etc.. etc.. etc.

Honestly, I think the rest were more traumatised than anything else. Muahaha.

It was then, when I was invited to join them the next day, on Saturday, to go rollerblading.

It was exactly 4 weeks from the day Minibean was borned, and I was hardly out of confinement yet.

I actually… was enthusiastic, since I had never bladed before.

I remember trying on Renee’s(if I remember correctly) blades at East Coast chalet many years ago, and then I was so out of control that I sat down to remove it almost as immediately as I stood up.

After that, even though Philip left me a pair of blades, I had never wore them cos they were of huge size.

And it was strange that I actually felt like picking up blading when I was late into my pregnancy.

So I agreed to meet up with them on Saturday at East Coast.

I had asked Roy to help me to buy a tin of milk powder(freaking expensive I tell you), so I would actually get it from him when I met up with him at East Coast.

They had suggested that I should cycle whilst they blade, so that no one had to wait for me.

But since the bicycle shop was closing, I made a decision to brave the wheels instead.

I was hugely traumatised right after I had put on the blades(or rather, they had helped me to put on the blades).

I threw on the wrist guards and knee guards, and tried to stand up.

So clumsy can?!

The rest decided they would leave me at the rink as they bladed to the other end of East Coast.

Boon stayed behind with me, and coached me a little.

Then, I suggested that we go and look for them, and possibly meet them at the midway as they were blading back.

I managed to blade a little, and started to struggle on the blades when I approached the humps.

Boon patiently helped me with it, and held my hand every time we approached a hump.

I nearly fell once and Boon was quick to pull, tug, yank, and jostle me back to balance.

We bladed for quite a distance, and met Brian, Mindy, Roy, Max, Jianmin and Sharon who were blading back.

They were surprised I even made it that far, and some tried to make me lose my balance. Evil.

Boon boon is good master!

We got back, and rested for a while, before I was charged enough to want to conquer my fears again. Basically, I am just very bad at balancing.

And Brian very nicely suggested that perhaps I had picked up blading relatively faster, simply because I am clumsy in real life… Bleah.

I managed to got through the first part of the night without much hiccups, and not a single fall.

Mainly because Boon would grab me by my armpit to hold me up, Brian would wrap his arms round my waist to maintain my balance, and Roy would grasp my sweaty palm tightly when I had panic attacks to guide me through.

Brian tried to blade backwards in front of me and held out his hands to pull both my hands along to gain momentum before leaving me for dead getting used to the pace. Roy would then give me more confidence as I upped my pace with someone pacing me.

The rest then started to stroke my very inflated ego, complimenting how fast I was picking it up, or that I was a natural.

The problem is, I have no idea how to come to a stop!!

And not forgetting I have never been good in anything, nor in any sport.

2nd part of the night was when I put on a pair of pretty and fast blades… and that was when all the horror begun.

I was trying to get used to them in the rink when I couldn’t come to a halt, and I reached out for the metal railings.

Alas, my blades went under the railings, gave way and I slipped, falling badly on my buttocks and my back.

Hilarious sight, I tell you. I simply laid down on the floor flat, and looked at the sky, savouring my first fall.

I tried getting used to it while Mindy took my hand and tried to teach me how to turn, and how to stop.

Brian tried telling me to T-stop when I still have blardy no idea what is it about.

Roy refused to let me rest by the railings.

I got monster coaches.

I bladed with the rest and ambitiously tried to conquer the journey from McDees to Bedok Jetty, with a couple of horrendous slopes in between. Not to mention those evil humps.

I always saw how easy it was for the others to do it, but never knew how tedious it could be.

I had no idea how I fell the first time round on the blading path with Roy next to me. I must have had lost my balance while I was having my thoughts faraway and stood up without bending forward.

They then tried to teach me how to stand up, which was an utter bitch to master.

They left me there, and made sure I got up on my own as other park users looked on.

It was almost 3am, I think.

It was relatively okay until I reached Bedok Jetty, when I finally conquered the journey.

Yay!

Alas, when I was approaching the jetty, I couldn’t stop and the others had to come to my rescue.

Whilst preparing to take this picture, I lost my balance and fell. On my knees.

As I stood up, I fell again!

Bleah.

Then as we were leaving Bedok Jetty, my blades were caught by some irritating crap on the road, and I fell again!

I must have fallen 5 or 6 times that night, but nothing really major, cos they were either silly falls on a straight, or just losing of balance when I was stationary.

Bruise and scar free!

Still, I couldn’t stop.

It was 6 when we finally got back to McDees, and my feet hurt like a bitch. I was sweating profusely, and I could feel myself covered in dirt from the multiple falls.

It was when all 4 of us were resting when Roy suddenly asked, ‘Your dad didn’t ask anything about SBB?’

Of course he did, just that when he sees that I don’t really wanna talk about it, he would stop probing.

‘If I were your father, I sure will ask one and sure want to see him one lor.’

He did meet him before but just that it will be darn awkward if he does see him again, no?

He then turned to them and said, ‘I imagine ah, if I am her father, I sure feel damn sucky one. Then I imagine if I am SBB, I also damn sucky. Then I imagine if I am her, even feel more sucky and crappy lor.’

I shrugged and giggled it off.

I am sure no one is having it easy.. but we all have to make do with more important things at hand, no? :)

***

Best thing? I couldn’t shower cos I was still in confinement! Eeeks. Dirty hair, dirty body. Yucks. I wet a hankie and the hankie turned brown and black.

!!!!!

I reached home at 6.30am, cleaned up myself, pumped milk, and took a towel from the drawer and spread it on the bed.

I slept for only 2 hours before I got up to prepare for Minibean’s first month.

Thank God I could shower with the herbal water after I woke up.

Sheer bliss, I tell you.

How does bliss look like?

Heh, just like this.

(Took this whilst she was asleep and smiling to herself on 22.12.06)

***

I looked forward to the next blading session, and it took place on 2nd Jan, which probably was one of the most down-on-my-luck days in a long, long time.

After some arrangement, I met up with Brian, Mindy, Marshal and Roy, so that I could pass them some cakes and stuff since they couldn’t make it for Minibean’s first month.


Minibean’s minicakes!

The moment I reached East Coast, it was raining, and the floor was thoroughly wet.

Yet, they didn’t want to back out, and I gamely took up the challenge nervously.

Right after I put on the blades, I felt as if the familiarity of confidence which I had the previous time round when the day ended eluded me once again.

I pondered if I should wear my elbow guards, and I was then told by the guys that they weren’t that necessary, and it shouldn’t be a problem to go without them.

I struggled to keep myself balance, and the worst thing was, I needed to pee.

Despite my whines that I wanted to take them out and head to the loo, Roy denied my pathetic whimpers, and told me to try to go to the loo with my blades on.

!!!!!!

Evilness.

Mindy then assured me she would help me, and the 2 of them guided me by the hands as I threaded the wet ground towards McDees(I wasn’t even in the washroom yet!).

I predicted an incredibly long night ahead.

I finally managed to get into the handicapped toilet, and wondered how it would be like if I were to fall onto the wet, dirty ground of the washroom.

I held on to the railings for my dear life, and Mindy closed the door behind her.

I stared at her, ‘What?! I will have psychological barrier one you know?’

‘Ok, I will just turn and face the door and listen to my iriver,’ she said.

The toilet was relatively low, and it was wet and dirty, and there wasn’t any chance I could practise my gung-fu knee-bending skills over the toilet bowl whilst on blades.

So, I had to blade(more like roll) over to the basin, grab some toilet paper and wet them.

Mindy had the honour to wipe it for me, wipe it dry with dry papers, as I passed her the wet-toilet paper.

Finally, I struggled to remove my bottoms with one hand with another firmly holding to the handles.

Then, I remembered to take off my wrist guard, as I waved it to Mindy who was facing the door.

I then found myself unable to get up to wear my shorts.

Mindy offered to help me to wear them(!!!!!) and I was too shy to accept it.

I mean, hello?! I had my shorts down to my knees, and I shy okay!

Then when I stood up, I had only one hand free to wriggle myself into my shorts. Muahahaha.

I finally washed my hands and heaved a sigh of relief.

Wah. Mission accomplished and the guys were duly amused when they knew how I struggled in the toilet.

***

The first sign of trouble started when I crossed the dreaded hump again.

This time, no nice Boonboon around, and they wanted me to try it on my own.

I slided backwards cos I had not enough momentum, and I panicked.

My blades gave way, and this time, I fell flat on my face, with my ELBOWS getting the full impact.

Did someone tell me elbow guards weren’t necessary?

Boohoo. My elbows bled a little as they scrapped the road.

Remembering the road was wet, my tummy, shorts and top were wet too.

Mindy bladed back to get elbow guards for me, which was really wise cos they were my savior from further agony.

I joked to Roy, ‘Why ah? Why my tummy got wet, not my boob ah? That means my tummy more protruding than my boobs right?!’

As we bladed ahead, I was coming down a slope, and was pretty much short of confidence.

Yet, I tried to hold my breath as the others left me to deal with it myself.

I could see myself steering far towards the left, and there was a family of caucasian coming to my direction.

I was approaching towards them, and I shifted my weight a little so I would avoid colliding with them.

I was pretty confident of clearing the slope as the guys looked on, when I suddenly saw Brian facing me right in my path, blocking my way as I came down on a pretty high speed. Of course, I had yet to learn how to stop, and I could only close my eyes and brace myself for the impact to come.

He had thought I would hit the family of people, which included one old lady with a walking stick. He was so sure that I wouldn’t clear it that he had wanted to stop me(so hero huh.. Grrrrr…).

By right, the ‘correct’ way would be that I lean my weight onto him as I fell forward, but I had tried to counter the impact by straightening my body up, and it became that his weight tackled me to the ground, which brought on the chain effect of him falling right on top of me on his knees.

I landed on my bum, and hit my tail bone as I laid flat on the wet floor. I could feel my shorts and back damp.

My hair was 45 degrees from the ground, and I looked up to him, whimpering, ‘What were you doing?!?!?!’

WWF huh?!

I dropped my head onto the road with ample resignation and just didn’t know to laugh or what.

I didn’t have to fall!!

He then said how he was so sure I was going to hit them, and the others just told him they saw me steering away and I would have cleared it.

And if I knew I wasn’t going to make it, I would have shouted and screamt(like how I had done so much of the session on Tuesday) for help.

Er.. by the way, what were they doing on the blading path huh?!

And as I stood up, the patch was drying up.

Not bad, I was ECP’s mopping rag for the night.

***

The next fall came when we bladed beyond Bedok Jetty towards SAFRA.

We were coming down a slope when it was too high speed and I knew I was going to fall onto the grass.

Somehow I lost control and couldn’t steer and I just straightened my body(I so shouldn’t have done that).

I fell hard just before I reached the grass, landed on my bum(which bounced off the ground upon impact), and got my bum and pot pot dragged a few metres on the road before it came to a complete stop.

I could feel something stretch below, you know?

I sat there for the longest time, trying to clench my pot pot muscles to feel if there is any sharp pain.

What if my stitches fall apart ah? Does that mean I would have… hmm nevermind.

It was pretty painful on my bum and I had this stinging pain. I sat there for the longest before I stood up.

As I continued blading, I could feel the stinging pain with every glide I made.

I had terrible road rash on the back of my thigh.

I had another small fall just before the upslope towards SAFRA, where there were stripes, which I landed not-so-big-impact on my knee guards.

I was pretty tensed throughout the entire session, and we finally bladed back from SAFRA, stopped by this blading area where Brian tried to take jumps, and the others trying out new stuff.

I just wanted to rest my poor legs.

After multiple takes, Roy finally managed to take this shot for Brian, with me and Marshal looking on.


Next session, I would be doing this.

Yeah, right.

See, even Minibean doubts my ability.

I love her Blue Steel looks.

***

I was pretty apprehensive when going down this particular slope, and didn’t feel comfortable doing it alone. I pleaded with the rest to help me. Basically, my fear was that I would trip over something, and not that I would lose my balance.

I didn’t stop calling out for help, which of course, didn’t come.

Right then, my blades gave way when something littered on the road had jammed one of them.

That was when I tripped again when it wasn’t slow, and I super-maned as fell flat on the front.

I skidded for a distance on my right, engorged(WAH DAMN PAIN) boob, and the right knee guard.

The impact shifted the knee guard a little, and the top of my knee scrapped the floor.

The impact to my boob was so painful that I immediately flipped over to my back, and I laid there to let the pain subsided for a while.

I didn’t know to laugh or cry, but I knew I did both.

‘I hate slopes…’ I whined as the rest looked down on me.

Basically, the reason I fell is exactly what scares me.

Stupid twigs or stones on slopes.

Most of all, stupid, silly me. I am always so crap at picking things up. Very useless, you know?

***

There was yet another slope as we headed back, and I didn’t want to go through it alone.

I was like crying out, ‘I don’t waaaaaaannt.. I don’t waaaannttt’ like a kid, and I panicked till I actually teared.

It was near Seafood centre when I exclaimed in the midst of anxiety, ‘Even I give birth I also never cry lor!’.

They asked if giving birth or blading more difficult, and since I am really lousy at sports, I shall say.. blading.

And they were saying I look a complete wreckage with my dishevelled hair, stressed face, dirty clothes and bruised body.

‘You look like you just emerge out of a war.’

Yah, comfort woman, right?

***

I finally got to rest at McDee’s and couldn’t wait to get off my blades and let a little room for my feet to breathe.

I had countless battle scars, and was dying for a drink.

I refused to get to the locker to get my stuff, and Roy kindly helped me to do so since my key was with him.

As I got off my blades, and looking an utter mess from the session, Roy came back with a bad news for me.

He had lost the key and my bag, wallet, key, I/C and shoes were all in it.

!!!!!!!!!!

He started saying how it SOOO wasn’t my day(pretty obvious huh), and I probably would have to get home barefooted if they couldn’t find the key.

The light at the end of the tunnel was, Marshal was with us, and he stays in the west, and I could possibly hitch a ride without going up the cab without money and looking remotely like a ghost.

Marshal then drove us back to the skate park where we stopped for quite a while, and the 3 guys became the search party for the night.

But the news they brought back was grimmed.

Fortunately, Brian kept my phone with him, and I had my phone to call my nanny to tell her I had a small ‘situation’ that I would need her to open the door for me.

And I heard Minibean crying in the background. Woops.

After dropping Mindy and Brian off, I struggled into the front seat(wah, the bum was feeling stingy from the raw wound, like as the knee).

I walked off from the car, and my nanny opened the lobby door for me via the intercom, and before I walked to my door all bruised and dirty, I could see her shadows.

I looked like I was robbed!

I was jolted wide awake in the showers whenever water came in contact with my elbows, knee, and bum.

Wooohooo. One kind of happening.

Pumped milk, spoke to SBB(I swear he was gloating), slept, and embraced the next day with sore back, and stingy wounds.

2 hours of sleep…. only.

***

I had no dressings over the wounds, and it was such a wrrrrooong move.

During lunchtime, I finally got myself some dressings for the knee and elbows.

My elbows felt much better cos my blazer didn’t graze them as much. My knee’s rawness subsided too(my movements were so restricted with the knee and tailbone pain that nanny joked that I looked worse than when I had my pot pot sew during my confinement).

The worst was the wet wound on my bum, which stuck to the dress everytime I sat down, and I had to peel it away everytime when I stood up.

I had to hold my breath everytime I did so, and it would become a wet wound again.

Ouch.

I had to rush to East Coast in the rain after I did some baby essentials shopping(breast pads, and wet wipes, cooler bag) to collect my belongings cos both my ICs were in my bag, and my original plan of going to Malaysia Embassy to do Minibean’s passport was delayed.

I had originally fretted over the tight schedule that if I didn’t settle it by Wednesday, there would be so much hiccups to her PR status. I had a talk with the bank’s staff and he was helpful to let me take an hour or 2 off the compulsary course on Thursday.

Alas, on Thursday brought on more bad news regarding the procedures, and I could forsee it dragging much longer, and might have some complications(more in the next post). So frustrating.

That would mean I might have to miss work on some days so I could sort them out soon, which is not exactly a good thing with a new work environment.

Ah well.

Anyway, that evening I lugged along so much stuff with me when I finally reached home, and it was blardy tiring.

Fortunately, I got home and changed the dressings, and all wounds got so much better and dried up by Thursday.

Boohoo, hopefully I have no scars, cos because of the fall, I had to give the job next Saturday and Sunday a miss.

Roy joked that my life just has to be so hilarious so ‘eventful’ so that there would be things for me to write on my blog.

Uh….. true, or else this post wouldn’t have taken place, eh?

***

On days like this when I can just stay home and tie up some loose ends, it is a luxury that I can just let her suckle me for every meal.

Yum yum.

Posted in Life's Fillers, Perk-me-ups | 4 Comments »

Life stories

January 5th, 2007 by admin

Finally, a day when I could spare some time to do some updating on this lacklustre blog.For the past few days, I have met a lot of new people, as well as knowing some of the people around me a little bit more.

I have heard 2 stories that kinda intrigued me, especially with the life experiences of 2 very different persons, one of whom is my confinement lady, who is now my nanny, and another, a trainer for the course I was on.

One, top of the corporate ladder, another, a lady with primary 3 education, whose colourful life experiences is nothing short of drama.

I suspected my trainer is not straight. From the way he referred to his love as ‘my other half’, and how his passion is of arts, gems(diamonds, darling) and some really deep stuff. Somehow, I feel that his personality tells a very interesting and sad story.. and as I tried to figure him out during the absolutely boring training(I was so tired that my head was dipping and swaying, how embarrassing!).

At the end of it, my mental bubble had pieced the information he revealed about himself, and figured how he just want to lead a fulfilling life.

Oh, and he loves Hermes and Tiffany & Co. Is meticulous about service, and has a really sharp, acid tongue.

Yet, somehow, the emotions came flowing out constantly when he talked about himself. He is a man who talks lots about his experiences, his feelings, his achievements openly.

It is not often when you hear someone who loves archaelogy talking about exploring a cursed Egytian tomb, and then ended up having his family and his other half dying one after another.

And then, he was alone.

How he bounced back, and how he nonchalantly said, ‘Well, but that’s life isn’t it?’ as he gave a wave of dismissal with his finely manicured fingers.

He said he feels he is a very strong person.

Somehow, I nearly wanted to tell him, ‘Why is it that you came across as such a vulnerable person to me?’.

***

I got to know my nanny so much more after I could openly talk about Minibean, and such.

I respected her a lot as I piece together the information of how her life had been.

She was married when she was 15, to a man 20 years her senior because her mum abusive hated her so much and made her life so miserable that when a man came to ask for her hand, she agreed to it readily.

She had spoken candidly about how her mother was mean enough to say her eagerness to married was because ‘she couldn’t wait to be shagged’, and how the neighbours in the kampung were merciless with their speculations of how she must be pregnant and such.

As she related, she animatedly shrilled as she recalled the nasty things said, ‘That’s total injustice! I was still virgin on my wedding night okay?’.

She had 4 children by the time she was 20.

When her youngest daughter was 4 months old, she was widowed after her husband was bitten by a snake.

She had to take care of her 4 children, and she had no choice but to take whatever money she had with her, leave 3 of her children with her parents(stepmother, since her mum passed away when she was 20 too), give away the youngest one to her uncle, so that she could come to Singapore to work hard to survive her children.

It was years of hard work before she decided not to stay in Singapore.

She returned to Malaysia, JB, when she was 25/26, when she had no idea what the place was like.

There, she found a job and worked from 10am-8pm everyday, and eventually thought she wanted to take up another job to make ends meet.

And that was when a friend stepped in, and suggested her to be a karaoke hostess.

She couldn’t hold her liquor well, and she had to learn to do so.

And that, started her life as a nightclub hostess, and ended when her children reached 17, which was 6 years later.

There, she knew her children were sensible enough to know what was happening, and she thought it wasn’t appropriate of her to continue working there.

She brought her 3 children over to JB from her kampung.

From there, she started working at coffeeshops, food stalls, a total change from the time when she was a hostess.

And the children were sometimes not understanding, because they were always thinking that she didn’t care for them.

She spoke fondly of her daughters, and how her youngest daughter, 21 this year, is going to get married.

She is rebellious and has always feel that she was abandoned, cos her mother would rather keep the other 3 than to keep her.

She said she had wanted her to have a better life, to have somebody who can provide better care for her, but had overlooked how it could have impacted her psychologically.

I see a very strong and loving mother whenever she talks about her children.

And I tried to give her the perspective of a child cos sometimes, she seems confuse, and couldn’t understand why her children would react the way they did when she genuinely cares for them, or when she nags.

Then, with other bits and pieces, I figured how when she was 30+, she was pregnant with her then boyfriend’s child. He was married though.

He was selfish, and his reaction disappointed her.

And that, she gotten him to drive her to the hospital for an abortion.

Since then, if any of her friends were in the same situation, she would strongly suggest abortion, simply because most of them would end up marrying irresponsible men, or struggle on their own.

She had another obsessive boyfriend back in 2000, and to avoid him, she made plans to come to Singapore, and that was when she had started her stint as confinement nanny.

We chatted for quite a bit tonight, as I sat there, breastfeeding Minibean.

She told me how she had been poor, and money is indeed important to her. And that’s why, she would want a guy who can provide for her.

She then asked questions about the Father bean, and after seeing his picture, concurred that she is a miniature of him.

***

I was out with the girlies for dinner yesterday after my training ended.

Training dragged till so late that I was getting a little impatient. We were on the verge of being dismissed when a couple of people had raised some objections and the ‘discussion’ went on endlessly.

I then just walked out to pump milk, and when I got back, the ‘discussion’ was still going on, holding us back.

Oh, did I mention how I had pumped milk during lunch hour as well, and when I was about to cap it back, the whole bottle of milk slipped from my hand, and spilled onto my blazer, shirt, skirt, and was dripping onto my shoes?

And well done, I had white trails of milk flowing down my all-black ensemble.

I wasted half a bottle of good milk. And I can tell you, breast milk is so precious that each, single drop, counts.

Still a klutz.

Oh yes, I met up with the girlies for dinner after that. I met up with FF first at Plaza Singapura, where I bumped into Raf!

So coincidental!

FF and I then left for Chijmes, where Mrbudak was already chilling at Cosafe(which er, is pretty bland and not as ‘exciting’ as I thought it would be), and where Micamonkey came to join us later.

The 4 of us then headed to Hog’s breath where Tetanus(atinydickblip), JD and her SYT were already waiting.

Our raunchy topic turned mrbudak on, and possibly did so to the man on the next table too.

The man was leaning in so close to our table that we could have asked him to pull his chair over to join us.

And poor MrGuniang who was on speaker with us had his measurements made known to the world.

Dinner was great.

VampTreSS and uncle Jeremy came down to join us, and it was a very joyous affair before JD-Bitch is flying off(aww.. we will mish mish you).

Potato!! You were missed okay!

Finally, I left for home after a long, tiring day, doing milk delivery.

***

New people.

More new people.

Next week, starts another phase of my life.

I am very fearful, indeed.

Because I might be meeting people whom I am most afraid of.

The corporate people, and people who might be too competitive for my liking.

A pressure cooker, is where I would be.

I was assigned to a branch that would make, or break me.

The largest branch with the most potential.

And my schedule for the week is daunting.

After 2 full days of training, I have to wake up early this morning to rush down to Malaysia Embassy again.

I had needed to extend her stay cos her passport would not be done in time.

But damn, the Embassy held back her birth certificate and my Malaysia identity card.

And I would need her birth certificate to extend, since it would be the document that link her to me.

Dad insisted that we should head down to try our luck.

Despite my vehement protest, Dad drove me down to Singapore Immigration, which was a total wasted trip.

My mood was further dampened with the unhelpful staff, and overwhelming crowd.

I was given a number with 260 queue numbers before me, when all I wanted to is to do a simple enquiry.

I was smart enough to go straight to the counter to ask the staff, rather than queue to wait.

Eventually, what I thought was correct, without the birth certificate, who the hell would know she is my daughter or not?

Fortunately, I was smart enough to put a photostated copy on the dining table before I left for home, cos I had needed it for polyclinic registration.

We rushed back home to fetch my nanny and Minibean, cos she had to go down to Choa Chu Kang polyclinic(darn, Jurong’s under renovation) for her 2nd dose of Hepatitis B jab.

The wait was pretty okay though.

There was a funny moment when I was feeding her in the feeding room and she suddenly moved away.

Woohoo, the milk sprayed out. Muahaha. For a distance okay!

Just as it was her turn to take the jab, she was a little hungry and wanted milk.

I breastfed her as I waited for the nurse to get ready the needle and such. When the nurse was ready, I stopped feeding her and she started to get real cranky.

She scrunched her face up as she couldn’t find the nipple, readying herself to wail. Right then, I had to hold her thigh down for the nurse to jab her.

Right as the nurse was going to jab her, the restraints on her made her all ready to bawl.

She started forcefully kicking her leg, and tried to wriggle it out of my hand. Trust me, her leg power is damn strong. You could even see the line defining her thigh muscle.

Right then, she burst out crying, and the nurse jab the needle forcefully into her thigh. She flexed her thigh muscle really hard and started kicking.

Ouch. I see also ouch. Imagine you are moving your hand or leg when the needle goes into you.

Her face was a bright shade of scarlet as she wailed out really loud.

The injection was over in seconds, and then I let go of her limbs.

The funny thing was, the moment the needle was drawn out, she stopped crying and the creases on her forehead ironed out in a split second, rather than like most kids, who would cry non-stop after the trauma.

I think the brave little girl is not afraid of pain, but is resentful of restraints + hunger.

I spent quite a bit of time with her today, making up for the lost time for the past 2 days.

Then, I slipped into a deep sleep from 3pm to 7.30pm in the evening while waiting for a call from my manager, who had probably forgotten about it.

So tiring can?

I woke up and stayed in the hall with her right till midnight.

Wednesday – 2 hours. Thursday – 5 hours. Friday – 4 hours. The number of hours of sleep I had are definitely not enough!

***

I forsee busy, busy week. I have to reschedule her checkup at NUH next Wednesday cos there is no way I could make it.

I am supposed to have a training session tomorrow. I am also waking up early to head down to immigration for yet another long wait.

Sunday I have some work at 11.30am.

Monday I have an exam, which I have yet to start on revision. Blardy hell.

Tuesday, training, and meeting.

Wednesday, briefing, and start of work.

I have to remember to call up NUH to reschedule her appointment to Thursday…

Friday, work.

My fall on Tuesday had meant that I would not be able to take on the job for next Saturday and Sunday. :(

But for the lost income, I would have some rest and some quality time to spend with Minibean.

Ah well.

Posted in Life's Fillers, Making Sense of Life | 3 Comments »
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