Someone messaged me today to ask if I am interested in taking up an assignment.

10pm-2am on 31st December for 120.

Oh great, I would already pop by then yuh?

I burst out laughing when I read what I gotta do.

Simple exotic dance. 3 sets.

I would love to darling, for that 120 bucks. But…………… flabby tummy with stretch marks wobbling gyrating sexily in front of a crowd is gonna worth at least 1200, don’t you think? Muahahaha.

***

I am too tired and withdrawn to be blogging these days.

Just feel like holing up somewhere, where everything would become a standstill.

I am nervous, definitely.

After my 3-days course finished, I was aghasted to find out that I have another 3-month course to handle on every Thursday morning.

*Pulls hair out in utter horror*

No one ever told me so.

***

It is just normal that as the tummy becomes attention-seeking that people would stop you for a short chat and such these days.

I realise how I would just burst into girlish giggles whenever they ask me questions that would inevitably grazed the subject of ‘husband’…’in-laws’… especially when they press about preparations, post-natal care and such, and then how I would matter-of-factly reply in a wide-eyed manner that, ‘Hehehe, the problem is, I don’t have any, so have to slowly plan.’

I think I should try the frosty manner the next time round just to freak them out a little.

Then again, I think the defense mechanism just works in a way that I wouldn’t want to put them in an awkward position, and thus, I reacted as girly and silly as possible, that people can take the news in their stride too, instead of replying with a sympathetic ‘I’m sorry.. I didn’t know..’, which is exactly what I don’t need.

People have been cool in their responses so far.

***

I had a weird dream last night.

Rather kinky I might add.

Yet I also dreamt of me pumping out breast milk also.

Gee.

I think I am mad.

But it is better than waking up every half hour for the past 3 nights because I have been dreaming about work.

I am really going mad.

***

I think attending the 3-days course drained me so much that I was emotionally vulnerable.

***

I left office on Friday right after my course ended, to head down to Vivocity where a friend works nearby. I have never even been to HarbourFront, so my virgin trip to that part of Singapore was relatively exciting for me.

I was supposed to meet Berlinda at 6pm, but she was held up by work till 8pm.

I didn’t know the hype about Vivocity prior to that, and was surprised to be caught in a mob of crowd.

And of course, I was very, very impressed by the place as well. Depressed, too.

Can you imagine walking past most of the shops, and you think to yourself, ‘Aww.. if only I can afford that….. wait a minute, I can’t even fit into that!’.

So sad right?

With my freshly banked-in cheque in the bank, I told myself that I would set aside 100 bucks to shop for myself, and perhaps a couple of hundred bucks to shop for Minibean.

The rest, would stay in the bank for good for the hospital bill to come.

I stepped into Mothercare for the first time whilst waiting for Berlinda, and boy, was I charmed.

Everything is soooooo pretty!

So, people, now you guys know what to get for my baby shower. Cough.

But it was utter abhorrence when I found out that a piece of baby clothing is worth as much as a piece of adult clothing, and they can only fit into it for 3 months.

I browsed around the shop, and I am not sure if this makes sense to anyone… but I felt a surge of tears to the brims of my eyes as I cooed over the cute little overalls(especially long-sleeved ones for her to sleep in the air-con room), puffy jackets(a hefty 75 bucks!), little booties, cosy blankets, and this cream/yellow sweater with a bear on it.

I don’t know how to explain those mixed feelings.. of how I could finally afford to buy something new for her as a result of my own means(yes yes, many kind samaritans had helped over the past months, and thus, this is different), yet I wish I could buy everything for her, which obviously, isn’t within my means.

Eventually, I walked out of the shop without any purchase, cos I thought it would be nice to have a 2nd opinion.

I am in love with Mothercare.

***

I stepped into Forever 21, and then got myself many dresses into the dressing room to try.

I am so freaking glad that I still fit into size S.

Eventually, I bought myself a slinky babydoll dress that makes me a freaking hot MILF alright. I would probably wear it out to penguin-walksashay down the streets some time this week. Whee!

And buying something for myself was such a joy that I messaged the entire world that I bought something for myself with my pay, and I am so blardy glad about it.

And I tell you, buying dresses from such places is even more economical than those maternity dresses off maternity shops, and hopefully I can still fit into them after that.

***

I got really tired.

I found myself a seat to sit down in the middle of the mall, and there was this cute little Eurasian boy(Caucasian dad and Chinese mum), say about 4, who was sitting right next to me, with his newborn sister in the stroller.

He couldn’t keep still most of the time, and there was a moment he turned, and our eyes met.

It was almost instantaneously that he gave me a cheeky wink of his charming eyes, and went on to give me a loud ‘Muacks’ instinctively.

My heart flutters slightly and I blushed.

Lord oh Lord, why am I 25 and not, say 5?

***

Berlinda finally arrived and the entire mall was mad.

We went to Sushi Tei and were told that the waiting time would be 2 hours(hello?! It was 8 already!).

We had no choice but to settle for Carl’s Jnr, and the queue was equally insane.

We sat down for quite a while at Carl’s Jnr, until it was 9.20pm before we left to walk around a little bit more.

Alas, Mothercare was closing, and I didn’t get the chance to get some stuff which I fancied.

It was then when I bumped into 3 familiar faces, those of my secondary school mates, one of whom was Zhiwen, who used to sit beside me for 2 years of my secondary school life.

And Minibean was hard to miss.

It became quite an extensive catch up session as we stood by the side of the walkway, until the inevitable question popped up again, and I just giggled my way through with my replies.

As I bade them goodbye and established eye-contact with them, it was as if everything was unspoken of, I felt a great sense of warmth that wet my eyes a little.

It was good.

I was glad I met them.

***

Berlinda was busy choosing a pair of shoes for herself whilst I was busy catching up.

I also tried on a pair of shoes which would be formal(I wore my Birkies to the company luncheon at a hotel last week……) enough for work. My previous pair of flats scarred my feet, and I don’t dare to wear them again.

It was on discount, and still within my 100 bucks budget after my dress purchase.

And whee!

***

We were supposed to talk shop thereafter, but even McDee’s was full at 10.30pm.

Utter madness.

I could hardly stand walking around, and there wasn’t any place for us to sit down.

Berlinda suggested we head down to Holland Village, and we tried to get a cab though I was reluctant to hitch one.

Whilst we were standing by the roadside, a young man was already waiting there, and we decided to stand at a distance away from him, behind him.

Then, 3 very ‘considerate’ Chinese nationals turned up out of nowhere and stood right between the man and us.

They turned towards our direction, and I was quite sure they had seen us standing there.

After the man got on a cab, a lady with 2 young children went up to the position he was at, and Berlinda decided we ain’t pushovers.

She led me to the front and then told the lady that we had been here for a long while, and the 3 Chinese men had cut in.

The lady apologised, and asked if we could share a cab cos she was only heading for Keppel Bay which was just a couple of kilometers down the stretch.

Berlinda very kindly said we would drop them off, and it wasn’t much of a problem, especially she had kids with her.

A cab appeared after a long wait, and the 3 men had the audacity to flock towards the cab which stopped right before us, but the driver wouldn’t take them nor us cos he was heading elsewhere. Berlinda persuaded him to take the lady and kids since they were just heading down the same stretch of road, and off they went.

Berlinda then turned assertive and told the 3 men that we were there first and one of them said we were actually waiting behind, and they were there first until we moved in front of them, as the other 2 stared at her.

Eventually, she insisted we were there first but we had waited a distance from the front only because the young man was already there, and the 3 of them had cut right before us.

Either they were bullshitting us that they didn’t see us, (I am sure, since I was wearing white, I must have blended into the night), or it was an honest mistake.

But anyway, after a blardy long wait(and some cab snatchers), they gave up, and we persisted with me sitting at the roadside.

Seriously, I would have rather taken the train anytime.

Eventually, a cab uncle who was driving his son and wife stopped for us, and sent us to Holland Village.

It was 11.30pm.

We sat around, talked shop till it was 2 plus before I finally left for home, feeling totally bushed.

***

I just didn’t want to go anywhere on Saturday. Hazy and I didn’t sleep well again.

Ended up watching CSI, playing mahjong in the afternoon till evening, and then falling into a short nap.

I woke up, and the usual suspects gathered again for another short game of mahjong.

That was my Saturday. Oh joy.

***

Woke up early on Sunday with yet another interrupted sleep.

Went down to Woodlands by train to my manager’s home for lunch.

Little Everett was so tiny and so cuteeeeeee.

I am really glad to see him so healthy and he was an absolute darling. I didn’t hear him wail nor cry even once during our stay there.

From Woodlands, I headed to Eugene’s at Tampines to chill.

Eventually, he was either on the phone, or wanting to play game, and I felt redundant just sitting there watching television by myself.

Hmphf.. my house also got television.

Eventually I got bored, and I left to rush home for the MotoGP race to start.

It is funny how I had MotoGP on my mind, and I decided that I would reach home in time for the race.

When I reached home, I thought to myself ‘Hmmm, I wanted to come home to do something. What is it huh?’.

I stood in front of the television and remembered it was something to do with television but I just couldn’t remember what it was.

I then went for a shower and forgot about it completely!!!!

It was only until late in the evening, past midnight, when I met up with Chee Keong for drinks that I saw the highlights at the coffee shop’s television then did I recall what I had meant to do when I got home.

And I missed a blardy great race.

The talk with Chee Keong ended only at 5 in the morning, and I guess it was the first time we ever had such a hearty talk.

He is someone nice to talk to.

Then I realised MotoGP is having a repeat.. woohoo. So I did my work, wrote my report while watching Nicky Hayden crashing out and handing Rossi the Championship lead.

***

I woke up multiple times in the midst of my sleep and woke up in the afternoon not feeling too well.

I sorted out some work-related stuff, and then felt a little agitated over how friends, or rather, people you deem as friends, are shortchanging you by trying to bullshit you with blatant lies.

Must be the hormones.

So….

I went to work.

Long meetings make my back hurts.

Paperwork makes my head hurts.

My memory is failing me these days.. and it is from bad to worse. Gee.

***

My manager was heading to the west, and since I wasn’t feeling too well, retired early for the day at 7 plus.

I could feel my gastric acid burning my throat and it isn’t fun.

I am tired.

I have my tomorrow booked, Wednesday morning booked. Wednesday evening booked. Thursday morning booked. Thursday afternoon booked. Sunday morning booked.

Oh dear. My nights are becoming shorter and lesser.

I shall go rest.

Back to blogging when I am less withdrawn.