Dad called me on the phone around Thursday midnight to ask if I would like to join him for supper.I had thought it would be a great time for us to talk, but he didn’t seem keen, and I ceased on the topic before bringing it any further.

All I did was to talk about the phone call I had with my 2nd aunt(his sister) over porridge and such.

It didn’t leave me with a good feeling, and I went home a grouchy lady.

I didn’t like the fact that something was obviously up on his mind and yet he refused to address it.

***

It hadn’t been the easiest of days especially with this week drawing to a close.

With bits and pieces from all elements, it proved to be the harshest week in a long while, yet I am keeping it going.

A brief phone call with the chirpy SBB for a while, though my mind was still cluttered by work and the earlier constipated feeling from the supper.

If only things were simpler. But as we all know, “if only” is the suckiest 2 words ever invented to leave room for the ‘what if’s in life.

It was close to 5 when I finally hit the sack, and woke up with a bloody nose. Nose bleed that congested my nose for the night, making sleeping quite a chore. I didn’t like that, certainly.

***

I dressed up for a girls’ night out yesterday since the girls had planned for a dinner for quite a while.

The packed train ride was horrible, before I alighted at Raffles Place to see Finicky Feline at the same station too. We took a train to the God-knows-where Marina Bay(yes Bay FF darling, not South) MRT station, and were stopped by a couple who asked if they were at East Coast Park.

Uhm… far from it, darlings. We are at the south end of Singapore, and your East Coast….. would be a little further down if you don’t mind swimming.

We met up with some of the early girlies who were driving and headed down to Marina South.

Though I brought my camera along because I didn’t want to wait for pictures, I guess the girls were already stiffed from the posing for 3 other cameras and some other camera phones.

So I would be nice, and just wait patiently till they send me the photos.

Till then, I could only rip the already-seen pictures from Jan:

And to answer Jan’s question of which idiot in the right frame of mind would wear white to a BBQ steamboat dinner…..

Ahem, quite evidently, I graduated with a degree in idiocy.

(My face and calves very big with the one in front of me trying to show off some cleavage.)

I am sure Wanyi has more pictures but I have yet to see her on MSN to bug her for them yet.

I don’t really enjoy steamboat BBQ, because I could never eat my fill since I would get sick of the food pretty swiftly.

But it was nice just sitting around with a bunch of lovelies and chat.

Not that I have much to say anyway, hurhurhur.

***

I watched the girlies bowled for the rest of the night, before leaving with VampTreSS and her friend to Ministry of Sound.

She had been wanting to club for the longest time, and since it was a ceremonious night out to celebrate her ahem, 22nd(+ 10) birthday, I made a -cough- VIP appearance at MOS to meet up with Chrissy and Andre.

I chatted to a very nice bloke, Ryan from NTU(no no, he wasn’t hitting on me, but was just a very nice person striking up a conversation since I was at the same table looking bored). It was relatively boring and I left after just a while(sorry darling, didn’t mean to be a spoilsport, I am lacking stamina lah!).

I sat outside the club and people-watch, until I got tired, and took a walk along the pavement, looking at the buzz of the night glittered by, until I got tired, and hopped on the cab with Nick on the phone.

I got back and got into the showers, and got off the warpaint of my face, washing away the lingering smell of the smelly BBQ, and the residue of the night.

***

He was online and we chatted for a while.

Coincidentally, he had seen the picture somewhere before though it was the first time I had.

***

I had a long sleep.

I dreamt a lot.

I dreamt of DT, I dreamt of everyone, actually. And haunted by work, no less.

And I didn’t wake up as many times as I did for the past months.

It was a deep, deep sleep, though plagued by many dreams.

When I woke up, I was encased in my bed, not wanting to move.

I stared blankly out into the space and rubbed my flaky eyes.

The slightest movement brought aches to my body and I felt as if I had been bashed up badly whilst I was asleep.

I just shrimped up and went out for a quick lunch.

Came back, watched some CSI, getting fed up with blogger screwing me up over and over.

I just lazed at home for much of the day though.

Vamp is supposed to meet me, but looking at the time now, which is almost half past 10, I seriously doubt that the night meet-up is still going to be on.

So another episode of CSI, before I find the spare energy to write. More.

It was told to me. Exactly my sentiments.The weather is a terror these days, and I could almost feel myself baking in the heat. No good. It gives me headache.

***

I went for lunch on my own on a Sunday afternoon, and the heat made me so nauseous that I couldn’t wait to get back into my room and rest.

In the evening, I met up with Mingwei and Cynthia at Jurong East, which I ended up being abducted onto Cynthia’s car, and had a tour of Singapore. Jurong East, Bishan to pick up a friend of Mingwei, Cynthia lost her way and we ended up in the East(Aljunied), before we got to Tanjong Pagar.

Spent some time tormented by hunger before we left for Bukit Timah for dinner.

Mingwei generously gave us ladies a treat at Vis La Vis because of his Foie Gras cravings, and I shared a portion of lamb with him.

I ended up finishing the whole basket of bread. 8, or 9 pieces?

And I was out with 3 diet-conscious people! His friend managed to hold off ANY food temptation, and just.. watched us eat.

After we finished our food, we ordered yet another big, juicy, fat piece of Foie Gras, with another order of Onion Soup.

I walked out of the restaurant like a penguin, before I popped by the Mama Shop to help SBB to get a pack of ciggies, and hopped on a cab for home.

It was 11 when I finally got back home.

He was over for the night.

***

Monday – I woke up feeling totally tired, and caught a cab during peak hour to rush back to office(in the evening) to pick up some documents. Bad memory means having to rush around like this, and causing a huge wound to the pocket.

I went back to my old work place to have dinner with Eugene.

I still find it amusing that I have some ex-colleagues who are totally…. the sort who would make me roll my eyes.

Eugene helped me to build my confidence with my presentation and corrected me whenever I stammered, got tongue-tied, and pointed out my mistakes.

For that, I am deeply grateful.

I only got back at 12.30am after a long, long, long train ride home.

***

Tuesday – Went back to office to do some submission, and handled some paperwork.

Met up with Weiqiang and Junhong at Tiong Bahru in the evening and fulfilled my cravings of Tutu Kueh.

Delifrance food wasn’t that exciting, really.

Weiqiang found my blog, so I can’t talk bad about him anymore cos apparently, he told Junhong about how I was complaining about the inconsiderate bunch of students on the train.

And then he commented my blog is scary, because his friend saw his picture on my site, and he is afraid I would splash his private life across here. Tsk, he thinks I very free huh?

That’s the precise reason why I didn’t want my blog to be known, ya know?

The 2 of them sent me to the MRT station, and I reached home at 10 plus.

Spoke to SBB on the phone, watched some CSI. Uh huh.

***

Wednesday – How should I start? Hurhur.

I went back to office in the afternoon, with my mind heavily bogged by some matters.

I resolved it, kinda.

That, I shall leave it till the next post. I think.

13. 13 months, it was.

It was back to work, before I met up with Brian and Mindy in town for coffee.

Over coffee, it was about names we would name our kids in the future.

Since Brian’s surname is Lee, Quiet, Silent, Bubble are pretty much fitting. Cecil? Cecil Lee. Hurhurhur.

Apparently a common friend’s surname is Kerr, and Mindy had wanted to marry him for it.

Eventually, I thought if I do have a child taking my surname, I shall name her…… Annabelle.

Annabelle Chong!

Whee! So creative, ya know?

Though we thought of silly cute names like Apple or Peach(oh, I was the one who thought of them though), Brian’s tacky suggestions of Tammy(?! Watch too much of the video huh?), Jennifer, Betty…. At least Mindy came up with names that are stylist and nice.

Maybe I should name my child Francesca Olivia Chong Ching Bing and the initials wouldn’t be forgettable(FOCCB).

Maybe, Chong Un Ning Theresa? Cough.

Mindy suggested Chong Rui An Priscilla.

Eventually I think Clarissa is a beautiful name, isn’t it?

***

(AHHHHHHH MY AUNTIE, THE ONE FROM AMERICA IS CALLING ME AGAIN. DAMMIT, I SHOULD NEVER ANSWER MY DARN HOME PHONE AGAIN)

*Nag nag nag nag nag* Asking about my new job and things and such. I bet my last penny that she would bring up the topic of her religion again.

Remember how she called me last time and commented how I can’t get my PR because I wasn’t believing in the same religion as them?

Ah ha! Couple of days after her call, I got my PR. So uh….?

She is sticking her nose into my parents’ business again. Bleah.

I am now telling her I am busy typing on my computer and she just doesn’t get it, does she?

-Sneer-

And she says I am picky with my part-time help. HELLO? My part time help nearly made me fell down twice in the bathroom over the past month, okay?

***

Thursday – I woke up today with my handphone ringing relentlessly.

I was thinking if I could sleep on a little more since I didn’t get to sleep until pretty late yesterday.

Manager called. Colleague called. Everyone called. Messages here and there.

A very nice gentleman decided to bring me out for lunch and I had an enjoyable talk over lunch, at Vis La Vis again.

And I was, very full.

Foie Gras, Aglio Olio, Duck, Durian pastry, and a very nice warm, chocolate cake.

I feel fat now.

I got back home and spoke to my manager, the first I had heard of him in a long while. Since the birth of his son, actually.

He sounded so drained, tired and… I don’t know.

It wasn’t quite the man I knew, and he was at the hospital with his elder son, though his wife is already back home recovering.

I wish their family the best.

***

Returned a couple of work-related calls, and it was almost late afternoon.

Returned SBB‘s call.

“What does exorcism mean? In the context you used?”

I checked up dictionary.com, and thought the definition was pretty wry. Hurhurhur.

I took a nap to rest my sore back.

Tomorrow there will be a morning meeting, and I dread thinking about waking up, especially with my insomnia lurking.

***

This week seems like a pretty hard week.

I bled. I fell short of production which means I might not get paid. And well, we said our goodbyes.

I didn’t manage to buy what I had wanted to buy by this week, before the discounts end.

My body isn’t holding up well, and I feel… quite inadequate.

It seems like it is heading towards a downward spiral.

I like the picture in the previous post.

‘So that day.. the thing you told me, so what’s your plan?’ I was munching the durian he brought back as he asked casually on Tuesday night. With a smile, alright.I sheepishly smiled and said being financially stable now is my main priority. I intend to stick to my job for a while, because of the accountability I have towards my clients too.

‘Uh by the way.. how old is your friend huh?’ Hmm, for the first time, Dad asked me something about SBB.

Another sheepish answer, and that was about as much as he asked.

***

I finally had some ample sleep today when training session was cancelled by my manager.

But work still haunted me in my dreams. Just like how SBB haunted me in my dreams too. I had been walking so much these days that I actually felt the stiffness in my calves.

To illustrate how bad it was, I stretched my legs out when I was sleeping, and my muscle tensed up and cramped.

Bugger.

I was so tired from the past 3 days, that I just nonchalantly used my left foot to apply pressure on the pain. I actually concussed out before the pain subsided, hardly stirred from my sleep.

I was that tired.

9 hours of sleep was pure heaven.

I made some calls from home, drafted out some stuff, before making my way down to office(reluctantly peeling myself away from the monitor and my cosy bed) to get some documents.

I thought I would have to head back in the morning, so had left some stuff in my locker.

Damn.

I printed some stuff in the office, work some calculations, before heading back to Jurong East to meet up with Finicky Feline for dinner.

There was a very nice JC girl on the train.

Finicky Feline and I had dinner at KFC when I saw 2 familiar faces walking past.

Wenhong and Guobang, whom I last saw at the NPCC chalet last week, and Rosemary’s engagement.

Jurong East was a place where we hung out so much during our secondary school days, and I don’t remember heading back there much after I graduated out of there.

Yet, I met the 2 of them there.

After I had met up with FF, I dropped by where they were to sit down for a chat. We suggested sitting down elsewhere, perhaps a cafe to do some catching up, but realised there wasn’t any place.

I am not sure who joked about Kbox on the 3rd floor, and the impromptu suggestion was snapped up.

We took a lift to the 3rd floor, and we emerged to the Fuji Ice Skating palace that the 3 of us spent most of our weekends at during secondary school days. What thickened the deja vu was also the fact that the jukebox was playing this Faye Wong song that was aired quite often in the rink back in our school days, a decade ago.

I commented how it was Connie’s(our fellow NPCC mate) favourite song for a while back then.

I stared at the rink for the longest time and then giggled at the memories how we used to fall together in that rink as we picked up ice skating.

How…. nostalgic.

Kbox used to be the bowling alley we spent our afterschool hours at. I recounted the days when we used to pass papers around in class to write song lyrics to pretend as if we were jotting down notes, and once I had this piece of paper full of song lyrics and my mum had mistaken it to be some love letter written to me.

I remember Wenhong was the one who wrote those lyrics, cos Guobang’s Chinese not-so-good. Muahahaha.

I remember the 2 of them to be the off-key kings, and I brought up the names of their favourite songs back then.

I think they stared at me as if I was some sort of freak because I could remember what they could vaguely do.

Eventually that dug out lotsa old songs we had fond memories of, and they sang the songs I remember them singing off-key, and boy, a decade does make lots of difference.

We laughed, we talked, and I felt like a 15 year-old all over again.

The only hit of reality came when we spoke of our new happenings in life.. and that we realised how life, has changed drastically for each of us. A reassuring grab of the arm from Guobang offered some kind of sensitivity that I didn’t see in these guys back in those days. Wenhong bought me Tutu-kueh as if to pacify a little girl.

Man! These boys did grow up! They are no longer the insensitive little geeks boys I hung out with back then.

I used to hang out the most with the 2 of them back then, doing projects together, and I had even been to their places back in those days to rush projects, where their off-key singing made a lasting impression.

Wenhong’s brother who used to run around with his baby bolster when he was a mere 5 year-old is now a teenager in secondary school.

Changes. Amazing.

We even would have forfeits for those who score higher marks during exams and tests. 1 mark = 5 push ups. Wenhong would always be the one doing for Mathematics. I would always be the one doing for Chinese/Chinese Literature.

Alas, Guobang didn’t advance together with us onto secondary 4, and I remember bawling back then.

Guobang has joined a bank and be in the same trade as I am, and Wenhong has just stepped into the workforce with his job in DSTA.

We finally finished terrorising each other with our horrid singing at 12, and the coincidental meetup wrapped up with Guobang dropping me off by cab.

The next meetup….. I wonder when will it be.

It was nice. Very nice.

***

I was at work early yesterday(Tuesday), and mornings really kill me.

A few pleasant surprises here and there on a Tuesday brought smiles to my face.

I met my dentist Dr Ng about 4 or 5 years ago, and though she only saw me once or twice before she referred me to Prof Ho, she had messaged me out of the blue yesterday morning.

I replied her and told her I was well and sent my regards to both her and Prof Ho.

Prof Ho was the doctor who did my dental surgery 4 years ago, and the 2 of them are now running a dental training centre at Paragon.

She asked me how I was doing, and perhaps I could drop by when I am in town.

Since I was in town, I decided to drop by and say hi.

Amazingly, they still remember me, and Prof Ho even remembers meeting me once at the prawn mee shop at Lavendar.

He is the darling professor from NUS whom everyone used to tell me how he was popular with ladies from young to old because he is so charming whenever I lamented about the long-waiting time at the dental clinic.

Apparently tai-tais and aunties loved to take their time to tell him their sob stories, and perhaps that was why my waiting time back then was always excruciatingly long.

The one-stop dental centre is brilliantly impressive with the top dentists for all services under one roof, and a world-famous orthodontist would soon be joining them on board.

It is also a training centre with programs for post-graduates, and they were approached by Warwick University to spearhead this project.

And being their patient, I can tell you they are definitely not only good at what they are doing, but also brilliant people to be around with.

I left the clinic to meet up with a very nice friend whom I got acquainted through blogging.

It was our first meet up and we went for a nice, fulfilling dinner at Spagheddies(bleah, however way you spell it).

He passed me a handwritten note, which are some stuff he had drawn up for me. I was… touched. It was such a sweet gesture.

As we chatted, I was just talking about this Dutch friend of mine to him, and how one of my client’s son shares the same name as this Dutch friend of mine, and I thought the name is really nice.

We shopped around Takashimaya post dinner and I saw something really nice and I really liked.

But when the salesperson came up to us and said, ‘Oh, the good thing is it comes with a vibrator and it is very soothing cos it gives the effects like petting patting…….’

I had to bite my lip and look elsewhere, and walked away to snigger hard.

We walked around a bit more, and it was really fun.

But I didn’t buy anything though.

I mean, buying a ‘vibrator’ in front of a new friend… is a bit what right? Muahaha.

We sat in the open, in the midst of Orchard, and chatted on the bench, with drinks purchased from 7-11.

It was a long talk, before we walked to Heeren to get a cab.

Suddenly my phone rang, and yet, it was another pleasant, pleasant surprise.

The Dutch friend I brought up during dinner, called.

Alas the overseas connection was pretty bad, and it was muffled most of the time. But nonetheless, it really did add to the feel-good factor I have about the tiring day.

I haven’t heard from him for the longest time, and hearing him updating me about his life was a joy.

My new friend then sent me home by cab.

It was a nice, relaxing evening.

***

After my previous post, things did pick up a lot.

I think it was just one of those days when I needed to let it out.

Right after my post was posted, the one thing that somehow…. brought me some unexplanable comfort, was just a simple sentence said in the call we had.

I was told I won’t be the only one working hard.

Yet, I dismissed it with a change of topic almost immediately, because the topic is still too tender for me to handle. I had to fight back emotions, which I was simply too tired to do.

I appreciate it though. Very much.

It was the thoughts that count, though I am not banking on the words said taking the form of reality.

Thank you.

And many other people who had been worried. I know.

Another morning tomorrow. My morales have been going up and down these days, and my self-doubt has officially taken over.