Or that of a very bored individual.

So, you should expect nothing less than the lengthy entry before this, cos yeap, it’s the 3rd day of the Chinese New Year, and I am yet at home, again.

And oh, thanks for taking the time to read my 700th entry.

I will tell of how I nearly lost 1600(yes yes, it would look like singapore dollars one thousand and six hundred only on a cheque) over the mahjong session late last night.

With our smallest ever bet, somemore. 10 cents, 20 cents.

The horrors! The gore! The utter madness!

***

Happy birthday, Qiwei.

I didn’t forget… and it is certainly not because that I have cool, new friends, and I forget the old.

*Hug*

***

It was a quarter past 4 when I finally got up, and a call came in.

From someone I adore much, and is the mum of my once-good friend.

Once, only because time changes things, and we have moved on to different phases, and different priorities in life.

Or perhaps the inferiority complex within me acted up, and shied away from his busy schedule.

Has been 9 years. Wow.

And Auntie is still thinking fondly of me, constantly asking about me.

Her favourite question would be why I had never hooked up with her son, but I know full well that I am never good enough for an overachiever, and to be closer to the fact, I was too much of a guy to him!

She spoke fondly of the past, and how the elitism in my mum limited my social circle to that of people from The Chinese High School, cos she thought it would be good enough an influence to spur me on to study.

I laughed at that piece of memory and how it had ended up making me more of a tomboy.

Chinese New Year. Wow. Perfect shield to re-establish lots of broken bonds over the years, ideal coverup for me to pluck the courage to check on people who are on my mind, but never had the guts to find out how they are doing.

***

I finally rested enough last night(this morning?).

Sleep was scarce for the past week, not because I didn’t have the chance to sleep(oh well, when you do not have any visiting to do, the only sensible thing to do is to sleep those eyebags away), but because I simply couldn’t.

Few days in a row, my sleep was disrupted by the multiple times, every hour. Reason? No idea. But it could be the cigarette stench that leeched stubbornly to my hair, that caused the irritating nausea enough to rouse me awake.

What an irony.

I love and hate the smell at the same time.

Results? I had less than 7 hours of sleep everyday, and I had Nick telling me that I ought to sleep my eyebags away. Darn. Are they that visible?!

But finally. Thank God.

Almost 9 hours since 7.30 this morning, I slept well without waking up much in the midst of my sleep….

What bliss.

***

It is day 3 of Chinese New Year.

I have the record of receiving one ang pow per day.

I saw a lone ang pow sitting on the ironing board as I dragged myself out of bed for some sunshine in the hall.

Dad is presumably back in Singapore, and had left it there for me.

I am not sure why, but it sure looked like a mockery of the reality for me.

My 3rd ang pow, yet it wasn’t given to me personally, and it seemed to lose all its significance.

And perhaps you have thought about the consolation of highly-sugared goodies.

Strangely, I have no appetite and all those have no particular appeal to me. Bleah.

3 days and I have gone without proper food cos no darn place was opened and I am too picky to go for fast food.

Did I mention how I simply resent Chinese New Year these days?

The greater the buzz is, the higher the contrast it is.

Just like how white seems to possess utter brilliance in the midst of loud, intimidating black.

What is Chinese New Year to me now?

***

And no. The year of the woof woof has not made me a lesser doofus than in the year of the chick. Or the year of the gorilla… or the sheep… or rather, any other year. Bleah.

But it has made me a bigger gambler than any other year, probably because er… I never quite gamble during Chinese New Year with my friends in the past.

But this year, there are mahjong, and the constant Blackjack sessions with VampTreSS and the gang.

Alas, the dormant self in me is unleashed once I hit the table, and oh dear oh dear, what a monster they have created.

***

Nick gave a rough gauge that the guys would be meeting up at Charles’ place on Day 1 of Chinese New Year, yet it wouldn’t be anytime before 10pm.

Obviously, there wasn’t anywhere I went after blogging the previous entry, and was home bound throughout the day, and evening.

Out of absolute boredom, and feeling the need to be somewhere just for the sake of doing so, I messaged Denise and Alvin and asked if there would be any mahjong-ing, and I would drop by to make it a chinese new year visit to his family.

It was 8.30pm when they picked me up from the lobby, and there was still no concrete time set for the Blackjack session over at Charles. Nick asked me to call Brian, Brian wasn’t sure, VampTreSS was still stuck at some gathering, so on and so forth.

And yippee, it was mahjong time for the next couple of hours, and I had my first ang pow collection from Alvin’s family.

It wasn’t too dramatic a game, just the way I like it.

Everyone’s chips were pretty much levelled at the end of the 2 hours, and though I was the sole winner, the grand total of my winning was 6 bucks.

***

The directions to Charles’ place were vague and confusing.

No one could give me quite a definite, clear-cut instruction.

Since it was near Holland, I had decided to take a bus from Alvin’s place.

I would have taken my usual 502, but I took 105 instead.

And that, being my first ever time taking the darn bus route.

So, I happily thought I would alight at one of the stops and walk into the housing area(or so I thought..).

But………. *curse curse swear swear* I didn’t know the bus route wasn’t what I thought it was.

Still, it went past Buona Vista, and I safely thought I would be okay, you see.

But….. *curse curse swear swear* it didn’t turn into where I thought it would and I ended up missing the stop and alighted at Commonwealth MRT station instead.

*BEEP* *TOOT* *CENSORED CURSES*

The very kind Mr Nick told me to stay put and he would fetch me from wherever I was.

At first, it was the supposed bus stop Roy had told me to turn into the residential area, so he could just pick me up from the main road. But since the bus didn’t go there, I told him to wait for me at Holland Village instead.

BUT!!! I alighted at the wrong stop and changed the venue to Commonwealth MRT instead.

Well done.

He didn’t know where Commonwealth was, and I told him it was a stop after Buona Vista.

Indeed, he did end up a stop after Buona Vista.

BUT! It was Dover he ended up at, 2 stops away from where I was.

Bleah.

If I took the right bus, I could have reach by 11, but it was 11.40pm when we finally got into the depths of Holland Close(gosh, thank God I didn’t attempt to walk in. It was almost impossible!), and got to where Charles’ place is.

I would like to clarify that I am normally really fantastic with directions and such… it was purely the guys’ fault for the blunders I made.

Ahem.

***

The guys were already there, and there were plenty of new faces I had yet to meet prior to that day.

There was Kenneth, whom I met briefly just before Christmas, a few faces I didn’t put names to, and Tiffany(who was with Bikai) with the charming smile really drew my attention.

A pity she left early. Gee, how suspiciously scandalous with the way I put it.

I guess my luck wasn’t too bad that night.

I had quite a roll with 5 cards that night. 5 times, actually, under the most bizarre scenerio. With 4 cards at 13, 14, or 15, I had to draw yet another to risk losing double, or take a chance at the double payout.

And strangely, I managed to clear with the last card, merely. When I do draw 2 cards at 13, 14 or 15, most likely I would end up not having such luck at all.

Other than that, I had quite a bit of double payouts(can’t recall how much, but say, more than 6, under 10) with Blackjacks by the time the night ended at 5am.

Most of the others had left early. Max and Bibi left around 1 plus. VampTreSS and Roy around 4.

I kept my bets low throughout the night, and supersitiously kept it at 6 after winning the 6 bucks over mahjong.

It was almost starting from nothing.

When Charles and Kenneth were dealing when I first sat down to join in, my luck was fairly good.

It became oddly brilliant when Brian took over to deal, and I don’t recall losing any round, nor going bust from that.

I didn’t even have to take out any cash from my wallet to start playing, and the stash of reds starting coming in, and I was 30 bucks up.

Or perhaps, like what everyone was fervently talking about after he left, that his luck just wasn’t all that good, and he had lost pretty heavily within that half an hour when he took over.

During one of the meet-ups, he had declared how he had won big the years before and I joked who knows I might end up being his jinx. He said I could try in his usual cocky manner.

I swear I was just joking and didn’t mean what I said. And come on, such an innocent sweetie like me could never be a jinx, no? Ahem.

Then again, it is the new year, perhaps what he lost would reap greater returns in other aspects of his life in the year of the pup.

He decided to call it a day early.

My luck was declining at the start when Charles and Kenneth took over again, and whatever I had won from Brian were gone. Zilch.

Slowly, but surely, I was on a roll and I was perhaps, 12 bucks up.

Since most weren’t compulsive gambler, the only familiar person around the table was Nick.

As I took a break and joined the guys at the yard for a brief while, VampTreSS asked if I was wearing red underwear under my mini that very night.

I was puzzled for a while before I got what she meant.

‘Huh? No ah, why leh? I am not wearing any…‘

That drew the ‘no wonder’s from the rest, possibly that provided the conclusion why I had managed to con win Brian’s moolah.

Nick went, ‘No wonder I found a wet patch on my pillion seat.‘

Which on hindsight, hello??? Why would there be a wet patch if it was Nick who pillioned me? Hurhurhur.

No promises if it was any other guy in the group *cough cough cough*.

***

Vamp: We have a new nickname for you!

Mindy: Yeap.

Me: Huh?

Vamp: *sniggers* Mamasan… machiam ah. You just need a ciggie.. the pattern ah.. wah. The posture, the expression.. professional sial.

Mindy: Yah man. All you need is a glass of whiskey.

Me: Huh?! That bad meh?

I looked up to Mindy and managed my most innocent doe-eyed look: Where got like mamasan?

Mindy: You should put a glass of whiskey in front of you as you play.

Me: Maria, get me a glass of whiskey.

Mindy: Yes, Mum.

Darn. I should stop looking so solemn as I play.

Yes, I am now recruiting girls under my wings, anyone?

***

I think the most redundant move of the night was when I had an Ace and a 7, which would make up 18. I decided to go for it and drew a 4, which the ace would then become a denomination of 10.

21.

Yay.

Madness.

***

I increased the bet as VampTreSS and Roy decided to chip in on my luck.

We increased the bet to 25(Roy would always go for 10, Vamp would be 6, and I would pool in the rest), and won that few rounds with the increased bet.

We were on a roll, almost, with that few rounds of unformidable victory.

By then, I was seeing the first 50 dollar note on the table, courtesy of KCB, Kenneth-Charles Bank.

At the end of the night, the peak of my winnings was 120.

I went down to 90 when the night concluded as Charles’ luck picked up at the last few rounds.

I won 2 rounds of blackjacks, and decided to cut my bet to 2 bucks for the fun of it to pass time though I had thought of ending it for good.

Good move.

When I placed the 2 bucks on the table, they had 2 Aces immediately, and I lost only 6 bucks, instead of what could have potentially happened.

Phew.

***

By 5, Nick was kind enough to offer me a ride back home, like he did the night before(then again, Toa Payoh isn’t that -cough- far from Jurong, isn’t it? Muahaha).

So on both nights, I had saved abundant on cab fares.

Yay.

Thanks, ol’ chap.

***

Sidenote: Just received a call from Alvin and they had played another round of mahjong without me today whilst I was still snoozing away.

Thank God for the sleepy bug in me.

One friend lost 140 bucks.

*Shudders*

***

I woke up on the 2nd day of new year feeling the same dread I had the day before.

Feeling the same… why-the-hell-am-I-at-home?

I thought of Eileen who once had said that she would come over for a visit, and thought of visiting her instead since it would be more convenient for her that way.

And, I was eager to see my god-daughter!

It was 3pm when I finally went out of home to do my first proper chinese new year visit! So excited and so happy.

Took a bus down and had a nice chat with Meiling over the phone on my journey there.

And finally, I get to see the little bundle of joy, and boy, how much has she grown!

I squealed with excitement when I saw her…. sarong!

I didn’t think there would be still people using one these days, and I reminisced my childhood when I was a sarong-baby too.

Does that make me a Sarong-Party Girl(SPG)?

I even played a little with the princess as she had her bath, and I don’t think it’s safe enough to post her gorgeous nudes here.

Before shower when she was a little grumpy.

Awww… coochy coochy coo.

Baby Rene, godmum Ting and Mummy Eileen.

And yes, I even got an ang pow from the mummy. Gee.

Suddenly, the privilege of being single overwhelmed me. Haha.

She’s a happy baby post-bath!

And she has the making of a model, doesn’t she?

***

I had wanted to make the visit a quick one, perhaps visit Denise at her home too, before going home to change to head out.

Thus, I gathered my stuff and headed out with Eileen and Dave who had wanted to bring Rene out for a walk at Bukit Panjang plaza.

I volunteered to carry the 6-kg(yes, my arms are hurting today) cutie pie in my bosom throughout, and she fell asleep in my arms…

Awww…. it was the 2nd time she did so.

Hey wait. I think it’s the 3rd time.

She did it everytime she was in my arms.

Gee.

How cool.

This time, she conveniently ‘cushioned’ her head on my chest.

By then, I didn’t want to wake her up, so I ended up at their place again.

It was a short catch up with Eileen as she finally have some quiet time to herself.

I did the usual clumsy things I do over at their place, and spilled a cupful of water onto the floor.

Well done.

***

By 6 plus, I bade goodbye to them and cuddled the little sweets in the sarong as she napped.

Visiting, could be nice, and not a chore.

***

I messaged Vivienne, whom I was thinking of, and she told me her 2nd one, a girl, is on the way. Perhaps in 2 weeks.

I was pleasantly surprised and made a mental note that I would visit her then, and I would have another baby to play with.

Then again, when you show that maternal side of you, people tend to have the same question in mind.

When’s your turn? This year?

Oi! Choy!

I am not even settled down with a boyfriend yet, and I guess that have to wait.

For a long, long while.

Or most probably, never.

Yet, this is the most bizarre thing I had gotten this new year, courtesy of Eileen and Dave:

Uhm, yeap, for me.

Why?

Cos the silly Liverpool fans in them forbade Rene to don anything that is of my Manchester United.

So this was from a friend, and they decided to give it to me, for my baby(?!?!?!?!?!) cos Dave had cruelly refused Rene the rights to support a better team.

I hope this overall is still in trend 10 years down the road or something.

Talk about early investment, or something.

***

I spoke about this funny coincidences between Eileen and Viv.

Some years ago when I was still a teacher, Vivienne was my colleague in school.

One day, she suggested that over the holidays, we should go Zouk together someday.

She got pregnant and we never had the chance to party together again.

Some couple of years ago, I went clubbing with Eileen.

After that, she suggested, hey, we should go Zouk together someday again.

She got pregnant and we never had the chance to party again.

So, Zouk someday, anyone?

***

Alvin and Denise picked me up from Bukit Panjang Plaza around 6 plus and we picked up TheProfessional from her place.

Please don’t mind the dishevelled auntie beside her.

We went to Alvin’s place for some sizzling action of 3 on 1.

Mahjong, obviously.

***

Untypical message came in from SBB, and he queried on my haul.

It was a short call, which ended with the typical……. M-U-A-C-K.

Which I ended up with a low, bassy, ‘Um. Okay.’

What uhm? You uhm what?

Uhm.. yeah, uhm… Purposely one, right, you!

Of course, what do you think?

The rest endured a moment of winter and goosebumps as I..

Okay. Fine. Alright. MUACK!

The rest shot me a glance as they held the constipated looks.

I did win a little that evening, too.

It was an evening of mahjong before Alvin sent me back to my place, where I did a superfast change, and headed out of the house for town.

The guys were in town, and I took a train to meet up with them.

Wrong move.

When I got there, only the guys were there, and they were waiting for some others to head down.

In the midst of waiting, they still didn’t have any concrete plans to do anything and I ended up being bored stiff.

Alvin then called to say Lawrence and BK were up for mahjong but they lacked a leg.

The long wait with the guys were fruitless and since it was all coffeeshop uncle talks, I decided to take my leave and head back to Jurong at 1am, only an hour out.

I should not have headed out, since it cost more than a chain of firecrackers for midnight fare.

I was there in 15 minutes flat, cos the taxi driver was speeding down the expressway.

The uncle looked as if he was more than 70 years old!

The cab was the kind that resembles the old cars, and I thought you could only find this kind of cab in Malaysia.

But it was the smoothest ride I ever gotten in a long while, and the air-con was comfortably cold.

***

And yes. The stake was raised to 3-6.

I was almost 100 bucks down.

And I managed to lose only 20 odd, which was a huge relief.

BK decided he had enough and left for the night around 4 plus.

Left with the 3 of us, we decided to play 3 sided mahjong.

With the stakes of 10 cents, 20 cents, for the sake of playing.

When they asked if I would want to play unlimited, and the decision would lie with me.

I agreed, and then said that since it was new year, why not.

Bad move.

***

What I didn’t think of, is the potential of it.

Since it was 3-way mahjong, and only 10cents, 20cents.

Lawrence became restless and was only playing cos he thought it was like random child’s play.

Until….

There was this part when he nearly had the green ‘fatt’, red ‘tiong’, and white ‘ban’, that would make up da 3 yuan.

I won quick, and he nearly beaten me to it, and he would have won by getting the tile by himself.

When he opened the tiles up, we did a calculation, cos it would have been 13 ‘tai’s, and plus the double for drawing the tile himself…

In mahjong, how much you pay depends on how many ‘tai’s.

Never did we expect…. the unlimited would mean:

10 cents, 20 cents, 40 cents, 80 cents, $1.60, $3.20, $6.40, $12.80, $25.60, $51.20, $102.40, $204.80, $405.60, $811.20.

Blardy $811.20!!!!!

No one told me the potential of that.

Since that round, everyone of us sobered up from the shock and decided to put our hearts into it.

It was much laughters from the delirium and the surrealness of the close call.

And the last round, I won by 7 ‘tai’s, and I nearly fainted when I saw Alvin was doing the same thing Lawrence was doing, and Lawrence had all the major north, south, east, west cards, which would have been 13 tais as well.

Blardy hell… and they were so close to winning as well, ya know?!?!

That would be another $811.20!!!!!!

I would have fainted there and then.

And I could see that they were serious about paying if the other party did win…

And my tiles were all horribly messed up that I couldn’t do anything potentially that much.

So, gee, I should be glad.

Eventually, I always gamed with minor wins, and I won 12 bucks from there, instead of declaring bankruptcy at the end of it.

It was 6.30am when they finally called it a day and I walked out into the morning sighing a sigh of relief, and wondered what kind of madness I had gotten myself into.

Kill me. Just kill me.

***

Alright, that’s pretty much a conclusion to my past days of new year celebrations, if you would call that a celebration.

Now?

Hurhur.

Alvin had just called to say he would pick me up in a quarter of clock’s time for another game of mahjong.

***

He had stopped by for a smoke break at 10.15pm and recalled this noon’s session which I missed.

I have to mentally remind myself not to get myself into such deep shit later, though the new year’s vibes might do something real silly to me.

Wish me luck.

Hurhurhur.

I am not a compulsive gambler.

Really.

Am not.

I am just… bored.

So bored that I am blogging from his place whilst waiting for mahjong to start.

The deafening silence seemed to be louder last night after I had gotten home from a brief night out with the group.

The night ended pretty early, and I was home by 3.30am.

No one online either.

I took a shower longer than usual as I sat limp in the bathtub, letting the clamorous splattering of water fill the solitude for a while more.

My sole company.

***

It is almost 5 now, and I have just greeted the day, say, 4.20pm.

Made a quick call to Dad and Mum to send my wishes to them, and the other end of the phone was bustling with life, and everything a festive season like such should have.

They decided to go back to her hometown afterall.

The family there is excruciatingly big.

Imagine this.

Mum has 6 other siblings.

Eldest brother(my uncle) has 10 children. Most of them my mum’s age.

The eldest of 10 children has 7 children, so my nephews and nieces are around my age.

The rest of the 10 children have at least 3 children each.

Then, eldest sister has 8 or 9? I lost count.

2nd sister has 8 or 9 too!

Same goes to 2nd brother!

Whee!

My youngest auntie has 3 children, whom I was really close to since they reside in Singapore.

One of them is my female cousin who is younger than me by a year. She didn’t go back this time cos I decided not to, and I believe it is because how we would need each other to deflect the annoying questions of ‘So when….. and what…. and who…’

So you see, the equation grows exponentially.

I am so certain that I won’t go back when I get married.

So yeah, I could hear all their voices chattering loudly in the background and it was a huge contrast of the silence and gloom(courtesy of the dark, rain clouds hanging loosely out there) in my room right now.

***

And no, I am not doing any visiting.

So this is gonna be a long post.

A post of everything since I have nothing else to do.

I knew I don’t need any new clothes.

And for the past week, I haven’t been able to sleep well. Tossed and turned for most nights and I would wake up in the midnoon everyday, and had troubles going back to sleep.

Not sure if it’s the new year’s jitters.

I slept at 8.30am this morning, after a 3-hours phone call with Nick(he probably is the only one in the group who doesn’t need to do visiting in the morning), which we tackled questions on my ‘teyhness’ and the unfathomable phenomenon that I tend to draw lotsa Bollywood lovers.

And that my role in the group is like that of Kelvin’s and Brian’s.

The assclowns, as he put it. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! @#^&!@%#!$#%!$#!#

I don’t want to be in the same group as them, I protested.

I want to be the -ahem- intellectual one, ya know?

***

I managed to let myself in after the bizarre episode, and my days hadn’t been anything short of bizarre since Friday, the eve of eve, which probably takes the pie on bizarre-o-meter.

I almost didn’t want the year of the Rooster to go. Selfish reasons from how it would take another 12 years for my zodiac’s turn scares me to logical reasons like how it has been too great a year that I couldn’t bear to let go.

Then again, when you strip away the sign, it is just a cycle of things that happened which are contained by a frame of time, and things will still move on and change regardless if it’s the year of polar bear or panda bear.

***

I had wanted to go without any new year clothes this year, like I did the last.

Perhaps, the traditional side of me vanquished and I thought of roaming around in town just for the shake of it.

BIG MISTAKE!

Dad was heading towards town, and I asked for a ride.

Happily, I got a free ride to town, and I found myself in the midst of a horrendous crowd of people, that put me off quite a bit.

Hell! It was as if the entire Singapore was in Orchard, and it was proven right to me later on.

Dad stopped at Far East, and I had no idea why I had opted to shop at DFS, though there wasn’t any clothes boutiques there.

Perhaps it was there, I thought I could have some moments of peace away from the jostling human traffic out there. It was a jungle, I tell you.

BIG MISTAKE!

I ended up getting myself some stuffs from Cat and Ben’s Kitty, and my darling god-daughter from Ralph Lauren, and pretty much exhausted my finances thereafter.

I really like what I bought, though I ended up walking away, reminding myself that it isn’t Christmas.

Still! It’s a festival of giving, no?

***

*Gasp gasp* Anonymous commented that he/she saw me at DFS.

And he/she recognised the checkered skirt I was in.

Gee.

Uh oh. I knew it was a big mistake.

***

Just as I was leaving DFS, I tried calling SBB and his phone was engaged for the 3 times I was calling.

Finally, when it got through, he asked how did I know he had called when I am out there in town.

Apparently he was calling my house as I was calling. Quaint timing.

As I was going up the escalator to head over to Far East to trim my brows, I saw a tall, skinny figure right before me as I joined behind her to step up the escalator.

I thought she look rather familiar….

Since I was on the phone, I didn’t quite bother and continued my search in Far East for a place to get my brows done.

Most were full.

I ventured to the next floor and then bumped into the same person again and we walked on.

As I left the building, I saw this guy outside one of the shops, and I remember him as one of the bikers who used to hang out with us, and used to bitch about this certain girl to me. Things between he and us turned bad cos he was some sort of the double-headed hypocrite who, well, messed up people’s friendship.

And an incoming message came in.

It was that certain girl he always bitched about in the past.

And yes, it was her I saw right in front of me earlier on, and she asked if it was me she saw.

I had walked on to Wisma, thinking of checking out Forever 21 when she suggested meeting up.

I was hesitant, yet I thought there wasn’t any harm since I was alone anyway.

You see, I have never met her in person, nor had we even spoken before.

She was a person, I would deem, from the past, and we had known each other by face through friendster or IRC eons ago.

She was alone in town too.

***

I was walking towards Lucky Plaza to meet up with her as I stepped down into the tunnel at Takashimaya.

It was then, I saw yet another familiar face!

Meiling!

I squealed in delight and asked if she was alone, and indeed, she was. She joined me and we both made our way down to Lucky Plaza, to meet Qilin.

***

A little tidbits of information here.

Though I don’t like, nor do I think they would like the kind of association, Meiling used to be the girlfriend of Philip’s close friend.

And Qilin, used to be Philip’s girlfriend too.

In fact, she was the girlfriend before me, and their relationship lasted a grand total of 3 days.

Philip was 22 and she was 16(that paedophile!).

My impression of her wasn’t all that rosy, simply because that she used to be my source of insecurities. She had volunteered too much information to me when we had an amicable friendship online, which the ex contradicted quite a bit.

He then either became agitated or evasive, and the insecurities within me just felt as if he had too much to hide, or that the facts didn’t tally.

Ex then assured me that she contradicted herself too much and I shouldn’t believe in her. Which then, well, of course I gave him the benefits of doubt and seriously doubted her credibility.

So… all those things were in the way.

Now, she is already married, and because how I feel nothing for the ex in that way anymore, it is rather funny to look back how a lot of emotional knots could be untied so easily when just one of the knots is snipped off.

And that is why, I have learnt that how we could see clearly, and not let anyone cloud our judgment regardless of anything.

It is odd to feel totally nothing towards someone whom you once feel wary and sceptical of, and it was as if time did really change much things.

And then you wonder what was there to feel insecure or inferior about because how such comparisons are meaningless.

It is so much more a comfort now.

Interesting.

***

The 3 of us then made our way to Zara since Meiling was in town to get herself a top from Zara.

It drained us well and we ended up sitting down for dinner at Burger King, feeling totally exhausted.

I had quite a bit to share with Meiling actually, but didn’t get the chance to.

It was pretty much an ease to hang out with Qilin too cos she would contribute to the conversations too.

And I was really curious about marriage life and wonder if I myself would ever be able to settle down and I admire her courage to settle down at 21.

***

We headed down to Takashimaya where Meiling needed to return her books.

Right then, Denise and Alvin were also there, and she had messaged me to ask if I wanted to get my brows done.

Yay. I had wanted to, but there was no where I could earlier on, and I jumped on the opportunity.

BIG MISTAKE.

Perhaps the biggest mistake of the night.

We shopped around a bit more in Takashimaya before the 2 of them joined us, and Qilin had met up with her friend, Meiqi, briefly.

Meiqi is really petite and sweet-looking in person and so skinny!

Yeap, she was one of the final contestants in the StarIdol competition or something.

And I always thought I don’t have enough girl pals, and yet I was flooded with an overwhelming load of girls in one single day.

I made 2 purchases that evening.

Simple tops which I don’t even fancy.

Just for the sake of buying something since I am no good with shopping with girls.

I told ya it was a mistake that I was in town.

I saw a dress which I really liked, but it would cost me 350 buckeroos, and I never fail to amaze and amuse myself what kind of exquisite taste I have.

We waited outside True Colours whilst Denise had her brows done, and I finally have some rest time for my feet! Yay.

Bushed.

Meiling was away getting herself some new apparels and I was eager to see what she bought.

I even wanted to try it on for her with the buzzing crowds zooming by us.

And the picture came out scandalously sizzling cos the nude colour top I was wearing was camouflaging well.

But it was too big for me, you know? Hahahaha.

***

It was around that area where Gabrielle saw me.

But it was a shame that she didn’t call out to me cos I would really love to meet the babelicious chick in person.

And by then, I was totally knackered and tired, looking nothing less than a wreck.

***

Was waiting for Denise to have her brows done and I was thinking if I should too.

21 bucks for it was in my opinion, insane.

Yet it was Chinese New Year and since Denise was doing it, might as well, yuh?

So I put my name down and didn’t expect to really do it since they had said that I needed to wait for half an hour or so.

***

As we were waiting, we took some pictures, well, just for the sake of doing so.

Meiling! That darling.

Qilin showing off my tummy. Gee, I look as if I don’t have a waist!

Boohoo.

It was then, as I was leaning on the railings, taking pictures with Meiling, when Qilin, who was taking the picture, suddenly exclaimed, ‘Hey! You are wearing a skirt, you shouldn’t be standing next to the railings…‘

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPS.

I thought of the length of my skirt and the fact it was flared, and went ‘Ah!!’ before stepping away from the side.

What Qilin continued to say made me squirm in utter embarrassment.

‘I also didn’t realise it at first, until I saw the 2 ladies looking up from the escalator and were pointing at you..‘

KILL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I looked down and realised the railing was right next to a downward riding escalator, and indeed, saw the ladies looking. Below, there was lotsa traffic walking by cos there is a shop located right below, detached from the main mall.

I caught some people still looking up, and darted their heads away as I caught their gaze.

Uh oh….

Ahhhh!!!!!

*Cringe*

SBB was asking me thereafter what I was wearing beneath possibly because I went commando the previous time I was in it. Muahahahaha.

But nooo.. I wore g-string okay? But darn, it was sheer and those see-through one, you know?

Cough.

Muahahaha.

***

Before Denise was done, the lady told me there was a slot for me.

Since I was getting restless from the waiting, and decided that since it was new year, it should be alright to splurge.

I went in, and they directed me next to Denise, at a chair that was furthest in, right next to the window panel, where I could see the passing traffic out there.

BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG MISTAKE!

Well, I thought people would be minding their own business and wouldn’t really see whatever that was going on, yuh?

WRONG!!!!

It was darn painful as she yanked out my brows, though my high pain threshold meant that I rather enjoyed it.

The problem was, my brow was significantly higher on the left side and I voiced it out to her.

She very patiently decided to neaten it for me, and I wished as hell I didn’t.

Why, you ask?

Just as I sat back onto the chair, with 2 sides of my fringe clipped up in a totally unglamourous way, and a huge cloth round my neck, looking totally silly, I thought I caught something from the corner of my eyes.

The lady continued torturing me with her utterly painful plucking skills, and I took a double take.

My eyes widened with horror, and I saw him looking into the shop but not looking at me.

He was surveying the passing traffic, and randomly looking.

He was waiting, I think, with another guy beside him.

I squirmed. I freaked out.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Right then, the lady asked if I was okay, ‘What’s wrong? You saw someone you know? You are blushing!‘

Yesh, I was blushing from the utter embarrassment.

It was Brian who was standing outside there, and I thought of the deadly possibility that how this would go down as one of the funny scenerios that would keep endless jibes coming my way.

Could the rest of the group be there too?!?!

NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I squirmed and cringed and squirmed.

I caught Mindy from the corner of my eyes too.

Apparently the 2 guys were waiting for Mindy to withdraw money.

The lady was in good humour, ‘Close your eyes, and they won’t see you! Haha.‘

And I silly-ly did what I was told.

I think I did catch their eyes for a moment but I tried stifling the laugh and turned away to close my eyes.

But, I was right in front of them and they were right outside, and there was no way they won’t see me, right?

I opened my eyes and gave the lady a hard time cos I was trying to cover my face with the large sheet…

‘Boyfriend huh?‘ she asked as she turned to see the 2 guys standing out there.

HAR?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!!

The 3 of them then stopped, and were staring at me, without any significant expressions that seem like they were going to laugh at me.

I thought they didn’t recognise me.

But couldn’t be, right? It would just take them another second or so and they would figure out, no?!

And I closed my eyes, and was obviously squirming from the scrutiny, which was the dead giveaway.

The next time my eyes were opened, they were there laughing.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They then went off to get some clothes, and I didn’t even bother if my brows were okay as she said she was done and got off the seat as soon as possible.

Apparently Mindy had saw me and remarked, ‘Oh, that lady inside there looks like an older version of Ting.’

Brian turned and looked and then saw that my expressions were scrunching up and went, ‘It is Ting!‘

*@^#&!@%#!^@%#!@*&#*!@&#%@!

I should have acted cool and I could have passed off as a lookalike, or an auntie inside there.

Grr……

And did I mention that my left brow was screwed up?

I have ugly brows for new year. Boohoo.

***

Qilin, Alvin, Denise and I left for Alvin’s place since all 4 of us stay in the west.

And it was, yay, mahjong night, yet again.

Francis joined us around 11 plus.

We played till it was 4am, before I finally got back the comfort of my home.

***

THE DAY OF REUNIONS

My house was in its worst mess when I greeted the morning at 11 plus after around 7 hours of sleep.

I had decided to forgo the last cleanup of the year cos I simply couldn’t be bothered.

Bra and undies strewn across the floor, plastic bags and paper bags scattered all over, bin overflowing.

Yet I guess the traditional part of my vanquished yet again, and it bugged me enough to get me out of my bed.

And I did the mopping, packing and such.

Now, that explains the backache.

Dad called in the noon to suggest having lunch together, and I gladly obliged.

I had put off this entry(which would have been half of its length) for that.

Dad decided to pamper me, I guess, and suggested Indonesian cuisine, perched on top of Jurong Hill.

He drove there, and it was nice and scenic.

I recalled something and then asked if he had brought me up there for Japanese cuisine when I was a mere kid.

I remember we were having Japanese cold noodles.

And yeap, we did, and he was amazed I could still remember, cos it was almost 20 years ago, when I was perhaps 5 or 6.

Alas, the restaurant was closed, and I was pretty disappointed that I didn’t have the chance to relive that part of my childhood.

I took an extra glance at the place, and it felt good to revisit the place with my dad again.

We could have taken lotsa of pictures.

***

It was then the same old place, Crystal Jade at Holland Village where we lunched.

It was late when we finally finished.

I was tired when I got home, and napped for an hour, before heading for home.

Or rather, what is home to me, by default.

I crossed the familiar causeway, which was pretty empty on a new year’s eve evening.

SBB called just as I was leaving home, and I had officially acknowledge him as my jinx cos in my preoccupation with the phone call, I had forgotten my key.

And, it was the same as the previous time I had forgotten my key.

Both times were the only times in my life I had ever forgotten my key, you know?!

Mum was obviouslly ecstatic to see me.

I remember the last time I went back, it didn’t end with a nice note, with my parting shot of, ‘If you are going to say anymore of such, I would not come back here again.‘

It was somewhat true, I didn’t go back after that, not because of spite, but simply because I feel so much comfort in where I am.

It was a long time, since I last had home-cooked food. They were delicious, as we 3 sat around for a really quiet dinner.

I feel a tad bad, when I saw the made bed, cos she was hoping that I would stay overnight.

I didn’t, just like how I never did for the past years.

***

They sent me to the customs, and I left the book on the car.

***

And yeap, the rest, was probably what you would have read from the previous post.

Bleah.

***

Did I count down on the train?

Haha, no I didn’t.

Cos it was 12 on the dot(yeah, not even 11.59 nor 12.01, alright?) when I reached the bunch of guys, who were monopolising most of the seats at Starbucks, outside California Fitness.

Max joked and asked if I had to be so ‘special’ to make an appearance only at midnight.

VampTreSS reached shortly after with her brother, and the group’s strength consisted of: Max, Bibi, Brian, Mindy, Nick, VampTreSS, Eugene, Max’s brother and girlfriend, Joo Yau, Charles, and Tara.

We all then adjourned to Charles’ friend’s place, which was near Holland Village.

Charles gave me a lift and I had the luxury of air-con and music whilst the others were waiting on the bikes in the dark carpark as we waited for everyone to gather at the carpark right next to Dempsey Road.

***

Barry’s place was like that of a resort, Charles told me.

Oh yes.

When we walked right in, a gorgeous labrador, Snoopy was there greeting us.

He reminded me of Creamy, who would turn over with its legs in the air, for the visitors to stroke, and would piss in its excitement.

It did exactly the same thing.

And to my absolute delight, there were 2 huskies(I want a husky too… *sulks*) as we entered to the front porch, where we were throughout the night, right next to a swimming pool.

I thought of skinny dipping but there were too many people.

And the 2 gorgeous huskies were looking so meek and yet so majestic at the same time…

I felt like abducting one of them home.

***

Day 1 of Gambling session started, as we sat round to play Blackjack with Barry’s mates.

Everyone of us lost pretty heavily with the banker having a roll of good luck.

But it was all good fun, and the company of the guys were too great to miss.

***

But it all ended early at 3 after 2 hours since most people have to go visiting today, and they were not exactly having a good field day.

***

Half a year ago today, something unexpected happened.

It was a path I never thought I would take, and a decision I know for certain I would look back and frown upon.

Since then, I seem to lead a double life with the separation of my sole tinge of sexromance life, however barely, from my usual social life.

I know full well that he would cut a phantom figure that would not cross over to my core life. The kind of ahem, private person he is, and the reluctance of the merger of our social lives.

Well, perhaps with the exception of those who are closest to us.

I am not sure where that stems from, and I am not sure if the explanation of how we would always think it is not good enough(the external factors, or maybe, inclusive of ourselves. Up to your own imagination of what they are) works.

I think it is good, and the only way it could to make this relationship friendship pretty exclusive without the potential pressure and speculation.

You know, how you could create a while new dimension, when there is only one person, or perhaps very few people exist?

It becomes a very ideal escape route, when you need an emergency exit out of the reality, when a huge part of the world doesn’t reside there.

You see things differently, you behave different, you take on different roles, too.

A playwright, performing in his own show.

That world, becomes what The Globe is to William Shakespeare.

In that world, you would say different things to the same people as you would in real life.

How strange, isn’t it?

Isn’t it tiring? Isn’t it draining? Do you lose yourself in the midst of all the play-acting? What is real and what is not? Are we just too good as actors that we don’t know anymore? Or is it just a place safe enough for us to let the true selves come out without feeling intimidated by the threats of the society?

You would only know, when you exist between 2 worlds.

You see. When you build a castle in the air, it tends to take on a more ideal form, and it becomes a play directed by you, performed by you. Everything is nice, everything is beautiful.

Till one day, that world fades away, bringing along the memories, the bonds, the people, and then you realise, ‘Oh dear! It’s not real!’ and you panic cos of your desire to escape from the reality.

Then, you scurried to look for other people to build another castle elsewhere.

6 months.

It could be a milestone for some, yet, a beginning to an end for some.

Don’t ask me.

Anyhow, I didn’t get the chance to tell you, it has been an interesting, eye-opening, sweet, intriguing 6 months.

Thank you. For that I could grow that comfortable with a person again, without feeling judged.

Happy Chinese New Year, too.

***

The problem of talking on the phone with SBB, when I am right next to Dad, is such.

On my way to JB, I was on the phone for half an hour with him before he went for his reunion dinner.

I updated him on my silliness on the day before, and how my friends had perhaps seen the worst of me, and I would expect the jokes to come swift and heavy.

The heartless one thought it was funny.

Damn.

Talk about compassion.

Right before the call was ended, he gave a cheery and enthusiastic ‘MUACK!‘ into the phone.

I sheepishly kept a straight face, suppressing a beam as I lowered my voice to 2 octaves lower, ‘Hmm okay, muah muah..’

‘Why I muack you, you never muack me back?‘ he said in his almost trademarked baby voice. (Gee! Cringe-worthy)

I giggled and then retorted, ‘Uhm, my dad next to me, you know?!’

And of course, in his usual cheeky self, he would want to push it further.

Why you never muack me back… hahaha

I ended up laughing real hard, and spelt, ‘Ok ok… M-U-A-C-K! M-U-A-C-K loud loud okay? Yay.‘

Sweetie.. do you remember that night when I…..

I so knew where he was going.

*^@#$!@#$!#$!$#!

Basket.

I swear my eyes were moist as he pulled off from the driveway.

I had grabbed the bunch of dangly keys from his hand and made a dash up home.

I unlocked the door, before I ran down to return to him my bunch of saviors.

It was just for that couple of minutes.

He pulled off from the driveway as I turned my head once more as I watched that sedan go.

***

Happy Lunar New Year everyone.

I wish everyone happiness, plenty of wealth, and abundant of great, steamy, lusty, fabulous sex.

It’s the year of the bitch, you know? So, all the more I should fulfill that part of me.

***

I had been wanting to blog about yesterday, and today.

I had even condensed my reunion dinner in Malaysia to a short affair and rushed back.

Dad and mum dropped me off in Malaysia’s customs, before heading back to my JB’s home.

When I was at the customs, I realised I had forgotten my Connelly’s book.

Darn.

***

When I was on a cab back(yes, I was THAT eager to get home, and decided to splurge), I realised I forgot my keys since dad was the one who locked the door today(I had put it in my Gucci carrier when I went out in the noon, and had forgot to transfer it into my casual bag).

@(*#%#!%@*!(#*!@(*#^^!@$#!%#@#!@(#*&*#@%

*CURSE CURSE SWEAR SWEAR*

I was thus stranded.

And the damsel in distress(as Mindy kindly put it, though she later concurred with Dexter that Idiot was a more apt address), made a call to Dad, who had been looking forward to a well-deserved rest.

Dad drove all the way down from Malaysia, just for that couple of minutes, just so his stubborn daughter could spend the New Year away from them, in what she deems is her comfort zone.

I was stranded for an hour, cos he was stuck in a jam.

I then had a strange craving for a fag as I slumped over the bench at the breezy lobby, and was rather regretful not having enough ringgits earlier to get… well, you know.

I then kicked myself for forgetting my book, or else time would be easier to pass.

Right then, my only companion, my Mp3 player, decided to die on me and I was left dwelling in my own solitude.

SBB called to check on me, and the heartless one had the audacity to laugh at my plight.

Boohoo.

My new year’s eve is such a miserable affair.

Boohoohoo.

I did the smart thing of messaging everyone greetings and realised how tedious a chore it actually is.

Dad finally reached, and he DID NOT even mouth a single word of grumbles, and was actually laughing over my silliness.

I… don’t know what to say, really.

It made the night, which I had thought to be so cold and chilly, to be spilling with warmth.

Thanks, Dad.

He should be on his way to JB now, as I sit here.

He had fetched me back to JB today, ferried me from home to the customs, and then to Singapore, and back home again.

And I am ashamed that I am making him doing all these when I know how much he had wanted to rest.

Really…

Perhaps I should stop before I get too sentimental on new year.

Alright.

I am supposed to meet up with the guys now, and I shouldn’t be blogging if I don’t want to spend my new year in the train’s cabin.

Enjoy yourself everyone, and indulge yourselves in the most pleasurable liberations!

I swear this is the last screw up I am allowing myself this year!!!!!!

Which is cool.. cos it is the last hour of new year.

I dread Chinese New Year.

I really do.

It is a season that always highlights how unaccepted and rejected a being I am.

I totally resent family gatherings.

Saying Chinese New Year is not my favourite holiday is a gross understatement.

***

I was 17 when I first had a quiet new year.

I spent it in France.

Though I had my parents there for reunion dinner with me in London.

When I was 18, I had fever for a few days, but it was one of the best and cosy New Year, ever, for me.

It was spent with Tiffany, Ken Shin, Howe Szuan and Sam.

***

Years on, I didn’t quite remember enjoying much of my new year….

***

I only have the gambling sessions(which I hope to win everyone big big) to look forward to.

Maybe, the ang pows too. But with misers as relatives, I highly doubt so.

A week or so ago, dad asked, ‘So, have you gotten any new clothes for the festive season?’

In a nonchalant voice, I replied negatively.

‘Do you want to get any?

I expressed total disinterest, and thought there wasn’t a need for.

In a conversation with SBB later that evening, I spoke of that incident and then it hit upon me that I had thrown with an invitation to shop right in my face, and I turned in down.

Yeah, Dad wanted to give me a couple of hundreds for shopping yet my absolute dispassion stuffed that chance down the chute!!!

Arghhh. Bummer.

I could have used the money for other purposes like.. saving up to get myself an iGallop or something.

I saw the commercial of iGallop and it made me blush.

I decided to name iGallop my ultimate fantasy and it would be really nice if you guys decide to chip in some buckeroos to give it to me on my birthday.

Woohooo.

By then, sure as hell, I would get myself some leash or sturdy raffia string, or some cable ties.

VampTreSS kindly offered that she would sponsor me scotch tape.

What for, you ask?

Hurhur.

To attach Surprise(yes, my dildo has a name, courtesy of SBB. Now, it makes me wonder if he has a nickname for his wee-wee too. *shudders at thought*) right in the heart of the seat, of course.

I would very much love to attach a picture of Surprise here, but I didn’t think you guys(especially guys, who would get their egos hurt) would take it well.

Ask Janise, Joey or maybe Serendipity.

Janise and Joey had a glimpse of it in real life, and Serendipity had asked to look at it through the webcam.

Hurhurhur.

I decided Surprise is too shy to be exposed here.

And oh yes. If I do fix it onto the iGallop, I would certainly turn it on as well.

Ah yes, Surprise vibrates too!

Lessons went on well yesterday, and as usual, I had fun and Francesca is a brilliant coach. She’s a real tesaro(treasure, the word I learnt from Paolo).

***

I was real tired after the lesson, and almost dread the journey home.

A couple of painful blisters, results from the vanity of wearing heels, were tormenting my feet.

Yet, I had a date with the ladies that very night.

Though it was said that they would meet up first before my lesson was over, it didn’t quite happen as change after change took place whilst I was still in class.

I was almost tempted to make a straight dash home on the train before the call came in near 10, say, 945pm.

But it has really been a long while since we had a girls’ night, and I stopped at Commonwealth to take a bus to Holland Village, to meet up with VampTreSS, FF, and MissWhiney at the coffeeshop.

Mr Butch joined us slightly after my arrival.

***

I was so tired that I was paralysed in my seat.

When I am tired and staying out, I tend to overstay because I am just too lazy to move.

I had so much will to leave for home before midnight so I could save on transportation, but I was really too tired to move.

FF and the Butch left before midnight, and the 3 of us adjourned to Crystal Jade, before moving back to the coffeeshop after Crystal Jade closed at 3am.

It was 4am when we finally made our way home, and yes, I took a cab. Sigh.

***

Precise reason why I am confining myself to the comfort of home today.

Which was pretty fruitful.

But I am so proud of myself that I fought off the temptation of any food yesterday!

***

I dozed off with my glasses on, lights on, probably at 6 plus in the morning, before I was jolted awake by the awkward sleeping position at 7 plus.

It was past 4pm when I finally woke up and I was well-rested.

Was reading the news for half an hour before Mr SBB called, finally at a friendlier time that didn’t rouse me from my rest.

Spoke on the phone briefly for more than half an hour till 5.30pm and I went back to the books for some reading.

***

I had a dinner date earlier on today.

I would really want to type a tediously long entry about it, cos it could have been the best dinner I ever had.

I have so much to absorb from the dinner that I should leave an entry about it till later.

I jotted down the points almost immediately the moment I reached home, afraid that any bits from the dinner would slip away from my poor memory these days.

I don’t want to leave out anything that was said. Not even the tiniest bit.

I want to write a story.

His story.

For now, I should go sort out my thoughts, read a little, relax a tad, surf a bit, work my brain a while, before I could digest the evening’s conversation.

Warm and fuzzy.

A simple Thursday.

I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

***

It has been chilly for these 2 nights.

So very much so.

Br….

They say, Pisceans are the ones with this wonderous thing called ‘intuition’, which brings forth the ‘sensitivity’ in them.

I have no idea if that’s true, cos astrology is not one of my beliefs.

Then again, I am not sure how to explain this.

I was watching this afternoon chinese medicine related program(WOO YEAH BABY! I woke up at 1pm this afternoon! I am normal!), which was featuring this preggie lady and how her mother-in-law brewed birds’ nest and ginseng, which would provide lotsa nutrients for the expecting mother-to-be.

I suddenly craved for BOTH birds nest and ginseng as I watched the fortunate one supping away dantily.

I sulked at the thought of the near-empty fridge, and how my brunch consisted of a cup of hot tea and some munchies only.

I retreated to the room for further reading, though I felt the tad of tiredness similar to that of a jet lag’s.

Woo yes, I dozed off for half an hour at 2.10am, until SBB called again at 2.45am.

I was already spewing words that didn’t quite make sense, and I went back to sleep slightly past 3am.

Quite expectedly, I woke up on multiple occasions, and thank God, had no problems getting back to sleep a bit more, until it was 1pm.

I have resoluted not to sleep after 6am from today forth….

Then again, it is Chinese New Year soon and I believe the long holidays would mean crazy gambling hours that would last through days and nights…

Hohoho.

***

Oh, I was talking about intuition and sensitivity, wasn’t I?

Well, you see, Dad had forgotten to bring his keys out with him today.

So, he called to say he would drop by for a visit and needed me to be around.

When the door bell rang, I was appalled to find his hands full of bags of goodies.

And within, 2 mugs of Birds’ nest awaited me.

And yes, with ginseng somemore!!

Mum had brewed them for me.

Did I mention that Mum is piscean too?

Just like I am.

***

With Chinese New Year round the corner, I am expecting to have a real quiet one, since most friends would be busy with visiting and such.

And Mr Nick, very kindly suggested a money-making scheme for me, which was exactly the same thought I came up with right at that moment.

Prince of Egg Tarts… says:
eh u no visiting?

Tingism. says:
who i visit?

Prince of Egg Tarts… says:
dunno… no one? visit my family lah

Tingism. says:
hahahah can! got ang bao?

Prince of Egg Tarts… says:
then look for brian’s family, then roy’s, stef’s, ah tan’s

Tingism. says:
i shud visit ur family, stef’s family, tan’s family.. everyone’s man!

Prince of Egg Tarts… says:
exactly!!! take many ang pows!

Tingism. says:
eh!

Tingism. says:
great minds think alike.

Tingism. says:
hahahahahaha

Prince of Egg Tarts… says:
hahahaha

Tingism. says:
yah yah how can i forget brian’s one also since he so rich

Tingism. says:
then who else

Tingism. says:
mindy shud be also rich

Prince of Egg Tarts… says:
charles

Tingism. says:
den somemore same surname(oh yah we share same surname leh!)! maybe get more leh!

Prince of Egg Tarts… says:
max

Tingism. says:
den ah.. charles oh yah oh yah, that one cannot miss

Tingism. says:
max!! wooyeah

Tingism. says:
jooyau!!! must!

Prince of Egg Tarts… says:
ferris (even tho he isn’t in town)

Prince of Egg Tarts… says:
yah yah yah!

Tingism. says:
muahahaha u accompanying me right?

Prince of Egg Tarts… says:
siao ah? i have to do my own visiting leh! u so free thats why i recommend u do this!

Tingism. says:
……

***

My home is relatively a picture of peace when Chinese New Year is round the corner.

Not surprising, since I am the sole being around, with the companionship of few baby roaches(%#^!%#^!% *grumble grumble curse curse* I found yet another 2 carcasses of baby roaches today!).

Since I am staying on my own, and that pretty means that my mercenary friends would have no intention of visiting me, cos I am no ang-bao dispenser, and my parents are staying elsewhere, so they won’t be giving out any either.

I have no idea what was going through my parents’ minds when they decided that these will come in handy:

Evil. Ultimate evilness.

Do I look like I can finish all these by myself?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Then again, I already finished the bak kwa, and one tub of chips already. -gasp in horror-

The pineapple tarts wouldn’t last long, I can assure you.

And oh yes, the yellow mug and metal tumbler have nice ginseng birds’ nest within… -smirking with bliss-

Did I mention that I am contemplating on going on a diet??

Sigh.

Chinese New Year… -dread-

‘See how much you mum dotes on you?‘ he said.

I nodded. Ever so slightly.

For once, I finally ‘excel’ in mahjong.

Though my mind is not with the game most of the time, cos it was on the verge of shutting down.

Thus, am not going to contribute much to this post.

This feeling is strangely familiar, and reminded me how I had endured through yesterday with the identical state of trance.

And yes, after the 9+am post, I did head straight to bed on Monday morning.

Alas, less than 5 hours later, I was wide awake and my attempts to coax my body to rest a wee bit longer failed terribly.

I didn’t even have the concentration to start reading..

And I took the dreadfully long train ride to Novena for my language lesson, which I didn’t absorb much of with my fragmented mind.

Oh, I bumped into Chrissy and Ivan at United Square just before my lesson started, and it reminded me how long I haven’t been meeting up with Chrissy together with the rest of the girlies.

The adventurous decision of going without makeup wasn’t too ideal on hindsight. The brazilian guy in the class asked if I was there last week cos he had failed to recognise me.

I shall try not to frighten them too much the next time round.

Having a teacher who is a fan of Rossi, meant that ‘Signor Rossi’ is a frequently used name when she constructed sentences, and it would set off the stars and adoration in my eyes.

The train ride back was excruciating with a trainful of people, and me trying to keep my eyes open without dozing off.

Bumped into Lili, one of my favourite secondary school classmates.

I tried to nap upon my return from class, but didn’t get the chance to, at all.

I did contemplate of having an early rest but a chain of interesting events and topics, and a couple of nice company kept me up the entire night till I dozed off unawaringly at 7am…..(will illustrate more the next time)

And a silly booboo made me wake up at 8am… (will dwell more on this the next time)

And in my delirium, I was caught unaware… and I succumbed(ahem, would divulge more next time).

And it was 9plus when my battered and abused body surrender to the fatigue, but I woke up barely an hour later, before I went back to sleep for another 3 hours.

And it is blardy not enough at all okay!!!

Was blardy tempted to take a nap but I didn’t get the chance to.

I think it was MSN chats from 4.30pm forth till 7pm, and getting to know the emotions amongst the closer girlies.

Until the usual suspects called to suggest a quick game of mahjong at 9pm.

I bet they regretted it cos I was the only one who went home richer from the game. 32 bucks richer, I might add.

So here I am, finally home at 1am, and feeling totally drained.

Who knows, I might just be totally knocked out for 12 or 14 hours.

And I am reluctant to let myself to hit the sack now simply because I am afraid I might wake up at 5am, unable to get back to sleep again.

Or maybe I should.

That should tune it back fine.

Actually, seriously.. I have no idea why am I posting this post.

I have no idea what I am churning out either.

You know, it’s like you are typing something without really thinking what you should type, and the more you type, the more silly it seems and the more you are aware that you might end up typing things you shouldn’t type for the public to see?

It is like I feel like there’s nothing substantial, and yet I want to blog something nice, you know?

It is like I am feeling totally silly now but yet I want to make myself to sound like the most intelligent lass around, ya know?

Okok, I better go, before I start to say things I shouldn’t.

I might end up exposing the darkest secrets of everyone around me. Yeap, those they had told me to swear my life on, that I wouldn’t tell anyone.

I might end up revealing the identity of SBB by posting a picture of him to sabotage him.

I might end up divulge my -gasp- weight and -gasp gasp- vital(definition of vital: destructive to life. Oh yeah, indeed it is. To keep up with it, I destruct my life) statistics.

Gee. No good, no good.

I really should go before I start posting my nude pictures or something.

Did I mention that I saw yet another baby roach just now, which I killed without mercy.

I flooded it with water before washing it down the drainage.

Oh well.

Oh, SBB just called.

Since I already am running out of things to say in this post that makes great sense out of nothing, might as well.

So night, all.

Buonanotte. Sogni d’oro.

Did it finally rain?

Strangely, it did. The moment I wrapped up the entry, the first smack on the window alerted me the arrival of the pretty heavy droplets.

So, did I end up taking a nap?

No, I didn’t.

Did I finish reading James Patterson’s Big Bad Wolf within the hour I had set aside for reading?

Yes, I did.

Did I end up having a game of mahjong with the usual suspects after dinner at Jurong East Central?

Ooo yeah, yes, I did, too.

Did I lose money over the mahjong table?

Hell yeah, I did!

Did I reach home before midnight in a state of trance?

Hmm, half-half for that. I did reach home by 11.30pm, but I was still too alert to succumb to the enticing bed.

Did I find yet another baby roach?

Oo yeah, and I exterminate it before it could grow. Hurhurhur.

Did I have a fantastic shag with a warm body to snuggle upclose to?

No, I didn’t(hurhur, FF, now you owe me 2 bucks!).

I fell asleep by 2am with my baby pillow, only to be roused to consciousness by my stubborn body at 3am.

I forced myself to sleep, only to wake up at 4am.

Then, 4.30am, only this time, it was the usual interruption of the house phone that brought me to a refreshing state of total soberness.

Not so perfect as the ideal I had in mind, was it?

By 5am, I was yet again bouncy and jumpy, going beyond the first page of Veronika decides to die, by Paulo Coelho, one of my louts I lugged back from the bookshop yesterday.

Did I take a break?

Yes, I did.

Did I heed what SBB had said, ‘Okay, limit yourself to 6 chapters only and go to bed, alright? You need all the energy you have tomorrow. I expect you to ride me You have lessons in the evening.‘

Uhm, no. You see, Paulo Coelho’s books have no indications of chapters and such, so I had no way of keeping track.

I had finished the book… and perhaps, just maybe, there are only 6 chapters to the book?

I seriously cannot remember. Heh.

By 7am, I was growing increasingly restless and took an hour’s break of random aimless meaningless stuff, before I carried on reading.

So, 50 minutes on, I finally finished yet another book.

Yes, I did prefer this book to Eleven Minutes.

Veronika committed suicide because she felt neither happy nor unhappy, and it was as if life has nothing to live for.

She survived an overdose of sleeping pills but was confined to a mental institute where she was told that her heart has failed and she was given only days to live.

She was counting down to her death.

Yet, the threat of death spurred on her will to live, as she found emotions she had not confronted in her 24 years of life before, and realised the other Veronikas within her, that she could have loved, instead of the one-dimensional identity that she grew hate with a passion.

And, her fight for her survival, her fight for each day of miracle touched hearts within the institute, where many of sane minds took refuge from the reality they so fear by isolating themselves from it.

These very sane people, found the courage to step out into the world, to accept that they are all mad, in their own ways.

It is a book about fear.

It is a book about madness.

It is a book about how when you are in a group of mad people, you could freely admit you are mad, say things you normally wouldn’t dare freely, and everyone would just think that it is just right that you should behave this way because you are diagnosed ‘mad’.

But it is also how you liberate yourself in such situations, to find that part of you that you never knew exists, and how good it is to finally come to terms with it.

I am mad, as I have always have known.

I like how one part defines madness. About how it is just people who find it hard to communicate, to express themselves.

No doubt I like this book.

***

I should be sleeping for the lessons this evening, yet I am tempted to pick up the book by Ian Rankin, or perhaps, Michael Connelly.

I think in a way, I seem to reflect and absorb books that trigger my train of thoughts faster, though I still prefer the no-fuss thriller/suspense, which probably have more of my attention, and I would go on to the next book on the shelf without lingering sentiments left hanging as my mind would drift back to the contents of the other books.

I deem that as utter madness as I attempt to finish 3 books within 24 hours.

Perhaps, like what the bookshop owner was telling me, books are better than guys, which I had silently twisted it to my own interpretation of books are better than sex.

Ahem. Especially when I am now very celibated you know?

And yeap, they last longer too.

Oh dear oh dear, and they keep me up for 24 hours, maxing my stamina too, ya know?

Don’t ask me why do I keep rattling about books these days.

It is boring and repetitive, I know.

I think in a way, they are my emergency exit out of the reality these days as I detach myself from the real world.

The other reason is that, I have learnt quite a bit from books these days, from all genres, but yet I couldn’t quite put to words the feelings the books have brought forth.

Thus, I would do a slight mention, and as I read back these entries in the future, I could relate this phase of my life with the familiar feelings of what the books had offered.

Or maybe, one of my brief phase of obsession that will dwindle when my interest wears off bit by bit, tad by tad.

A twisted sleeping pattern had kickstarted my day the way I wouldn’t have liked it.

Yet, the chain reaction that it offset had brought me tiny gleeful episodes, bringing me closer to my definition of a perfect Sunday.

Perhaps, I am drawn by the simplicity of it.

One day, when I am engaged with too many things on my hands, or a possible career, I guess I would have wished my Sundays to be like today.

That is, if I have the discipline, which is highly unlikely.

Yeap, how odd it is for this to be coming from me in late noon 4pm, which had been the earliest start of my day for a long while.

Well, considering how I had woke up at 8pm last night after finishing my previous entry on Eleven Minutes(strangely, when I met up with the girlies, they had all remembered the part about the book I would name One Minute, and it goes to show the kind of things they zoom in on when skimming through my blog), and only retired at 8am.

I could have slept on, if not for the fact that I had prior arrangement with VampTreSS and Finicky Feline that we would spend a girls’ night out Battlefielding.

I was THAT tired.

I have no idea why I was still so tired after a round-the-clock sleep.

Plans were swiftly made, and a meeting time of 9.30pm was set.

It was no surprise that Finicky Feline and I ended up catching up(I haven’t seen her for the longest while! When I last met up with her, I was barely out of my Battlefield virginhood, ya know?!) as we sipped beverages from 7-11 and munching Breadtalk buns on the staircase of Peninsula Plaza, waiting for VampTreSS’ arrival, which was accompanied by Roy’s, an hour, ten minutes later.

Finicky Feline obviously didn’t catch on the game well, and the heat in the LAN gaming place wasn’t doing well to my system especially when the residue fatigue still leeched to me.

The poor connection as we played the internet game meant jerky pictures, and I was growing increasingly uncomfortable.

FF and I ended up playing other forms of online games, surfing, and pretty much doing things we would have done online when we are in the comfort of our own home.

I ended up sulking to the attendant at the shop, and lamented the heat was bad.

I almost managed to get him to take a file to fan us, and he suggested(sans rolling eyes) that I might as well get a giant leaf for him to do so.

If he would, I might really have scooted out of the joint, heading for the nearest tree.

4 hours passed, and I was growing increasingly lethargic.

Dad called at 1am, offering a ride home and I was darn tempted to do so.

But I didn’t.

Finally left at 2am, together with FF, and got home too tired to even head for the showers.

I collapsed to the floor, and gotten the usual phone call from Mr Lover upon reaching home.

I packed my room a little(trust me, nothing is quite visibly different, cos its still a blardy mess), and finally settled down for my read, near 5am.

Spent the next 2 and half hours reading, before I dozed off at 7.30am.

Woke up at 9.45am, and I forced myself to sleep.

And slept, I did.

Alas, the body system wasn’t adjusting well, and I woke up at 10am(that 15 minutes felt like hours!), feeling so freshly awake that I knew instantly that there wouldn’t be any chance that I would get back to sleep.

@*^#!^%#%#!#&!@#!

And thus, my day, started at 10am.

Note to self: Pop the pill, the next time.

***

On a fresh Sunday, I greeted the day at 10am.

I would have gone to church if I had woke up a tad earlier, something I miss and missed doing, for the longest while.

I sat up and no surprises, plunge right back into my book.

At 11, a thought shot through me and I dialled up for an appointment to do a little ‘maintanence’ work.

By 11.30am, I did the best a girl can manage: brush, wash, moisturise, change, pop in the contact lense, slap on some makeup, pack, and zoom out of the house within 15 minutes.

I realise how foreign the sun is to me.

***

I did something I haven’t done for a long while.

Making someone important happy.

I called her, and I was immensely insulted when she asked me who I am.

Well done, first, he didn’t recognise me, and now, she doesn’t even recognise my voice.

Bleah.

OI! Your own daughter’s voice you also don’t recognise! Tsk.

I said with mocked impatient.

Of course, the bewilderment was clear in her voice, and she was quite to question my motive.

Nothing. Just calling just in case you complain that I never do call. I did call you a few other times at night, but you were never around to answer.

Her genuine gladness was evident in her usual direct manners, like a naive, sometimes ignorant female, she has always been, ‘Really? I am so happy that you say that!‘

I can almost imagine her ceaseless silly grin.

We chatted.

Mother and daughter chat.

A decent chat, which is rare.

She was in her usual unabashed manner when she declared that her birthday is coming soon, and queried what I am going to get her.

I almost gave her a sneer over the phone.

It went on with lots of her usual preachings(which I nodded with dread though she couldn’t see it) and questioned myself what have I got myself into.

Oh yes, and those silly questions like, ‘Have you gotten a boyfriend? No need so fast also…‘

Note to self: Don’t do it too often, no good for the eyes from the constant rolling. Then again, might as well make it a routine to make her happy.

And what she says is always contradicting.

AND!

It is no good for the soul.

I seriously didn’t to hang up the phone or take her comment with good sport when she said with the most serious tone in her, ‘You should settle down, 30 already you know?‘

I chose the latter, and responded with an incredulous laugh. 30?! What the hell.

My mum is good with numbers, she surely didn’t forget my age, she knows my age, but she just rounded off 25 to 30.

Suddenly, I hate my Maths teacher for ever teaching me what rounding off is.

And, hello? Who is the one who tell me not to be ‘so fast’ with settling down…?

And she was the one who drove me off the phone, after considering that the phone bill would be expensive.

Wah. So rare. Must buy 4-D today.

***

12.30pm, I was there for my impromptu appointment, and left at 1pm, feeling neat and refreshed.

Note to self: Do not read and walk on the streets of Orchard. You might not see the traffic lights changing.

And you might be blinded by the direct sun rays hitting off the white, glaring book.

And the others will take you to be a weirdo, strutting down with firm steps, not looking your way.

I made a direct dash to Far East, hoping to get my brows trimmed.

But the temptation of the 2nd hand book shop was too great, and I fell for its trap.

The Sunday would have been much more perfect if I hadn’t overspent my original budget of 20 bucks by bringing it up to 30.

Bad, bad, girl.

My memory must be failing me.

I walked straight to Orchard MRT station, forgetting to get my brows plucked.

Might as well. The 10 bucks would go into my books.

Note to self: Are you crazy? You read only 18 books in 2005, and what makes you think you can finish the 5 books you lugged home today on top of the 5 books Anonymous Y lent you??

That’s 10 books in total.

Alright 8, since I already finished one, and going to finish another in an hour’s time.

I could have lug back another 5 more if I could afford.

And, I managed to stick right to my budget today.

I forbade myself lunch, and not even the fanciful, flirty snacks from Old Chang Kee.

Oo, after getting the shampoo I so need, I headed straight for the control station after a whirlwind ‘shopping’(it is almost shopping to me, though I wasn’t the least enticed by the mannequins’ fashion sense) trip, and headed home, by train!

Yay.

Got back, and the property agent was at the lobby with the potential buyers.

So coincidental that dad came out of the lift we were going to take.

Note to self: Not everyone appreciates seeing your brassiere and colourful panties lying around the living room.

I went straight for the vacuum cleaner right after the last batch of viewers left, and dettol-ed the entire place.

Note to self: Use gloves, darling, if you don’t want those fingertips to be peeling like today.

And don’t ever take out your contact lense with dettol-ed hands.

***

Doing the house chores was almost therapeutic.

But seeing the dead carcasses of baby cockroaches after baygon-ing the bathroom in my parents’ room was not.

Note to self: Find out how many nymphs a case of cockroach eggs produce. Subtract the number of corpses found today(6) and hunt down the rest of them.

Every single one needs to be accounted for.

MUST!

***

Lunch was nice.

It wasn’t quite lunch, but dad warmed some chee kuey for me, as I sipped a can of green tea.

It was just nice… to talk to dad, to spend just this little amount of time, feeling taken care of by him..

Sunday is beautiful, because of him.

And her.

***

And hmm, signed some papers.

I have no idea how, but supposedly, I am a director of some company.

Hurhur, as if it means anything.

***

So, on a Sunday, I reached home at 3pm.

And at 5, the skies outside darkened, and a rain threatened to pour.

Though the 1st slash of droplets has yet to hit the window, the rambles had warned me enough.

I like it when it rains.

The sun has given me enough blush and sweat today, and as I am safe in my duvets… I wish for a storm out there.

***

Potentially, this is what my Sunday might continue to be.

As I finish churning this post of rubbish, I would dive straight into the book and finish it in an hour’s time.

A game of mahjong awaits, though ideally, I would have loved to settle for a nap.

Who knows, I might spend the evening with a game of Battlefield, before snuggling up to a warm body which dispenses sweet kisses and cosy cuddles on a late Sunday evening….

And whatever actions that follow up in the throes of passion.

Then, I would doze on in secured embrace and sturdy arms to replenish the sleep I lost.

How nice.

How perfect.

If only.

It was near 2 in the afternoon when I finally succumbed to some shut-eye.

I have no idea what kept the adrenaline pumping, really.

I started on a new read, of fantasy genre(I am a fantasy virgin, can you believe it?) right after the previous post, listened to my Italian language audios, chatted on MSN to people I seldom speak to, and roamed my mind to things….

Everything, actually.

It was 6 plus in the evening when SBB‘s call roused me to consciousness, and I am silently cursing tallying that it was probably the 5th time this week he had done so.

But it was good, I had a prior date that was arranged earlier in the morning, which I could have potentially missed, and the call came at the time which I had intended to wake up, 6.30pm.

I am sure as hell as that I would have slept on till 10pm….

The call ended at 7pm. I got changed, dilly-dallied for the longest while, got out of the house for some dinner, and walked around the estate for a while.

On my way to the hawker centre, I saw the cutest quartet of Giapponese(Japanese in Italian), looking sweatingly atheletic… and absolutely yummy, walking towards my direction.

So tall.. so cute… must be 18 or 19 years old!

*Wipes drool*

Come to mama, you babies…

I took a shy(and slight) glance of the one to my right as I sliced right through the group when they walked past me.

Dishy. Yummy.

And the walked right into my estate.

Muahahaha, time to get to know my neighbours or something.

***

I went over to Mr Anonymous Y’s place and in a seductive tone, I asked, ‘Do you mind if I climb onto you your bed?‘

That, prompted the start of my scanvenger hunt almost immediately as the tension and heat built up.

Basically, I was there to rob him, as I saw him generate some handsome income on the internet.

Not exactly true, but close enough.

He had very generously loaned me 3 books say, in April last year.

I was there to return him the books, and also, was given the full access to his library of 300+ books, to pick 5 to borrow again.

I had to climb onto his bed to get to the cabinet, where I found many books that I thought I would love to read.

But then, that would have taken the toll of books to 10, and I had to ditch some aside, so I could come back for them the next time round.

And, after reading my previous post, he recognised that I am now learning Italian, and lent me his set of audios so I could make full use of it.

What a gentleman.

I went off within half an hour with a plastic bag spilling with 5 books and the CDs, some of which had been purchases I had been eyeing for the longest time.

Off the bus, I went, towards Alvin’s place, where a game of mahjong awaited.

And the excruciating bad hands meant that I had wished the game would have ended earlier.

It finally did, near 1am.

Alvin very kindly sent all of us home, and we dropped by the nearby coffeeshop to grab some bite.

And guess why am I still awake?

It was 3 plus when I decided to pick out one of those loaned books.

I have just finished reading it at 7am, and thus…………..

Screwed up sleeping pattern man!

And it is evident on my face lor!!!

I have 2 painful and scarlet zits on my face, and it certainly have made me feel like the sexiest and most gorgeous female ever lived. -snarl-

Argh……………………..

Then again, I am thrilled. My reading speed has upped.

And please, keep me away from the next book, before I would miss the Battlefield game tonight.

And even if you do keep me away from the next book now, keep me away from it tonight, so I won’t shrink back into my shell and refuse to meet up with the darlings…

Actually, I just ain’t feeling too well.

***

So angry.

I saw 3 baby cockroaches in the bathroom!

Sheesh, I am worried that some Mama Roach had given birth somewhere I know not where, and I am in for big shit as those goddamn creatures breed and grow.

Dad, can we move out before then?? Please?!

Oh well, guess I will trade my baby pillow for the insecticide to be etch in my embrace for the next few weeks or so.

***

Paulo Coelho’s Eleven Minutes. I had chosen it over Veronika decides to die, which I am quite adamant of making it my next Paulo Coelho read. Uhm, that is if The Alchemist doesn’t entice me before then.

I have been wanting to read his books since I was recommended his reads for the longest while since 2002.

Seriously, besides those specific genres of books, I hardly would switch my taste, cos I don’t consider myself an adventurous reader.

But I did.

Somehow, I think I did enjoy part of the book(mostly the beginning), though sometimes it becomes a tad bizarre for my liking…

Or too preachy.. too… theorical… too.. I don’t know.

Yet, somehow, there is something in it.

Something which I saw, that reflected a part of me, as if it was a rediscovery.

In the book, there was a repetition of the repelling word, Love.

No no, it’s not a romance book, but a book of what is love(oh cringe) to the main character in the book.

Yucks, how I hate that word.

It draws the cynic out of me, really.

And it speaks of an intellectual Brazilian prostitute, from her infant thoughts of love, that gradually took on other forms as she grew up.

There were some stuff I obviously don’t agree with as the author slipped in a lesson or 2 about life(or gee, Heaven forbid! Love), but yet, I could identify with certain thoughts of hers, as to why we are often cynical, afraid, fearful, and constantly submitting to the emergency exit of memories.

I like her attitude. Of how her insatiable quest for knowledge, and how she deluded herself into layers of denials so that she would always see positive light in her predicaments.

Yet, she wasn’t afraid to admit what she doesn’t know, and not pretend who she is not(well, not in the emotional sense, that is). Or how she could identify how she was drawing herself out of her character, morphing into the Innocent Girl, Femme Fatale, or the Understanding Mother, whichever that was required out of her, yet incapable of following her own advice(aren’t we all like that?).

Eventually, she had to concede that she wasn’t happy, and was constantly searching for… something she couldn’t concretely point out.

The book, certainly, is an engaging one.

And yes, Eleven Minutes, had meant to describe the actual deed of fornication.

Though most probably, if the book is written by me, I would have named it One Minute, or something close.

I will be kinder.

Three.