The past few days had drained the last bare essence in me.

I am not sure why with the amount of fervent searching, I find myself gaining more weight rather than losing it.

I am not sure why with the intense walking, my calves and thighs are not becoming more shapely than they should.

I am not sure why with the fatigue that sets in thereafter, I can find myself awake at 8.45 on a Friday morning, and not able to sleep on more than I should.

I am not sure why with the amount of travelling, my Christmas shopping is not even half done.

I am not sure why that the past 3 days had left me with so much frustration that I was on the brink of stabbing people in the guts for that brief moment of satisfaction before going on with my search.

I am not sure why I had been shopping alone for a few days and I am enjoying my solitude even more than usual.

I am not sure why without making much purchases, I ended up getting broke even before my shopping is done.

I am not sure why my head doesn’t seem to be working today.

And it shall be day 4 of shopping today.

I think I have done enough shopping to put me off shopping for the rest of my …. 2005.

Yes, I HAVE to find whatever I am looking for today, or looking for substitutes for something, and something else.

***

You think without having an idea of what gifts to buy for Christmas is bad?

I used to think so that the aimless walking and searching whilst you exhaust your brain juice was the worst it can get.

That is until the past 3 days taught me what is the absolute nightmare.

Knowing what you want to get, but you just simply couldn’t find it anywhere.

Then you go to Destination A to look for it, they refer you to department X, before they bounce you to department Y, and then deflect you to depart Z. After hours of ping-ponging, then do they refer you to Destination B, where the whole process repeat themselves.

Then you are referred to C, then someone told you to look for it at D….

You walk, and you walk. You feel like a squash ball, cos wherever you go, you hit the concrete, hard, cruel wall, with no substantial, positive results.

Conclusion?

You couldn’t find it ANYWHERE.

And you were told that you probably wouldn’t be able to get it anywhere either, after 3 days.

Then, you decided. You shall try one last shot at it, today.

At the terrifying location of outrageous Orchard.

Obstinate stubbornness is passed down somewhere through the blood, I think.

Well done. Well done.

I am contemplating of bringing myself an oxygen tank as I dive through the maniacal pool of human traffic.

I certainly wouldn’t want to be drowned.

***

Despite the immense agitation that came out of everything, I still had fun doing the last minute mad rush by myself.

The satisfaction of getting something worthy at the end of it, till the process of passing it onto whoever you are getting it for, is nice.

And I wonder if the person is closer to you, the more difficult it is to find something you know the person will like.

I find it the hardest shopping for my girlies, cos I had been trying to shop for them individually, instead of heading into the store and take the easiest way out — ‘Erm, hi, can I have 6 of these in different colours?’.

Anal retentiveness is what they call it, I think.

Though I had probably muttered the worst of cusses countless times throughout the past 3 days, I have a feeling I might succumbed to them even more so, later on today.

O Lord, forgive me.

***

I had long decided on getting something, and something else for SBB this year.

I happily smirked to myself, marvelling my absolute brilliance.

Until, I can smirk no more.

Cos, I might need to come up with a contingency plan, which I don’t have, and unlikely to think up of with the bugging headache.

The headache that made me hit the sacks at 2am last night, wow wee.

And that explains why I am up at 8.30am, but doesn’t quite explain why I couldn’t sleep on anymore.

I had an incredibly weird dream last night.

I was doing my Christmas budgeting in my dreams.

ARGH. And I woke up.

Well, at least I had a much more pleasant dream earlier on, though it is going to sound so warped.

I dreamt that I had a lesbian tryst(!!) with Angelina Jolie.

I kissed her luscious, and I got physical with the buxomy her.

Gosh, where did that come from, really???

As if she would ever wanna bed me.

***

I woke up yesterday after 8 hours of sleep, at 1pm, and muttered a silent curse.

The room was in a gloomy hue, and the splatters could be heard on the glass of the window.

It was thundering slightly and definitely not a perfect day for me to venture out.

Uh-oh.

But I had to.

And it definitely isn’t a picture of good news out there as I could see the sky cluttered with dark clouds at this moment. I just hope I can finish this by noon, before I make my way out to town.

***

I was in search of something else, for SBB.

In fact, I was quite confident of my search, ya know?

Perhaps a little over-confident, actually.

I walked out into the rain(slightly heavier than a drizzle), and had to abandon my plans of lunch cos the rain meant that I couldn’t quite walk the distance without looking an outright mess at the end of it.

Train ride.

(Have to refrain from mentioning the exact places hereon forth, in case the himbo intelligence SBB led him to make out his surprise, which might not even take place.)

I realise how I never failed to be surprised and amused when I am out these days.

Reached town, and was advancing towards the escalator, when this guy in red tee came up to me.

For the first time in my life(honest!), such an incident happened to me.

He spoke to me in Mandarin, that carries an accent that doesn’t sound quite local.

‘嗨， 小姐，我可以问你一个问题吗？’
(Hi Miss, can I ask you a question?)

Feeling a tad puzzled, and thinking that he is a tourist asking for directions, I nodded slightly, and was a picture of bewilderment.

‘我可以跟你做个朋友吗？’
(Can I make friends with you?)

I choked on my saliva at the cheesiness of it, and stared in disbelief.

My moment had finally came.

For the first time of my life, I had finally encountered the classic line of cheese, ever.

I didn’t quite believe there would be any sane human who would still resort to such an god-awful pick up line in these days.

It was obvious that I was left in a darn awkward situation, as he tried to walk right by my side, striking conversations I had absolute no interest in.

He said he is a pure Singaporean bred, and asked me in Mandarin am I an -cough- Eurasian(duh, a bit stupid to speak to me in Mandarin if you don’t think I am a pure Chinese right?), and doubted that I am a pure Chinese.

Erm.. alright.

He asked if I am local, and I replied no. He told me he was out in town alone, and I lied that I was in town to meet a friend.

The moment after we tapped our EZlink card, he stopped right next to me, as I desperately dialed for VampTreSS’ number.

As I was dialing, he asked for my number.

Hi dear, where are you? What time are you reaching?

Huh? Oh, someone is following you huh?

Yeap.

Do you want to meet me there? Okay, I will walk over now.

Actually the phone call went on longer than it did, and I was stalling for time, hoping he would take the obvious hint and scram.

He didn’t.

He stood there and asked for my number again.

-Gasp in horror-

Eventually I said I would leave him my email instead, before I scooted off in opposite directions to his.

And yes, I returned home to see his email in my mailbox, which I cruelly chose to ignore.

***

I started walking around in town, in search of something else.

I went to the place I thought they would carry it, and was told that they did, but they won’t, anymore.

I was devastated.

One of them told me to leave my number, and they would call me if any of something else arrives.

I told him I wouldn’t have the time to shop if the results prove negative, and he promised that he would ask his boss to get a response soon.

Just then, the boss was right before me.

He told me that it was almost impossible for me to get it anywhere, now.

Not in the future, either.

In fact, not in Singapore.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh….

The disappointment was evident.

I frowned, sulked, and pouted like a hurt child.

He told me to try my luck at Destination A(which is out of town), and told me not to kill him if I couldn’t find it there either.

Don’t kill me, he repeated many times(serious!). With bright smiles thrown in, too.

I wonder if my wrath was so evident that he had to plead for his life constantly.

But.. but.. but.. you told me you would have it before I came down.

I whimpered with a soft, quivering voice, as I tried my best to well up dejected tears in my eyes so I could somehow get some hope out of this.

He was apologetic, and said that he would give me a treat the next time round to make up for it.

Damn. I thought he would offer to check for me, but I got a meal offer instead.

That’s not what I want!

I left, with head bowed, and very sore feet.

I shouldn’t have wore heels.

***

I scooted around town to get something for Jiali, and perhaps, looking for other alternatives to replace the something else, which I might not be able to get.

I bumped into Yueyang, who was looking good in a white shirt and work pants, together with his colleagues.

*Ahem*

I scouted the entire mall with them, before they had to get back to work, and I went around hunting alone, again.

It took me couple of hours, before I could finally settle for something for Jiali, before I messaged SBB in glee that, at least the trip wasn’t wasted.

I had wanted to get something for Finicky Feline, and went to the place where SBB told me that I might be able to find it, and realised that the place doesn’t carry any of such, at all.

I was angry. So angry that when SBB called to check on my Christmas shopping, that I didn’t know what to say, and ended up saying, ‘I am so angry. So angry like.. like.. like.. a potato.‘

Duh.

How is potato like when it is angry, by the way?

I was glad that at least I managed to find something I was looking for before I left town.

So glad that I forgot that I haven’t had anything to eat nor drink at 5pm in the evening.

***

I took a train out of town, and stopped by the station nearest to where I was supposed to go, following the boss’ directions.

Since I didn’t have any idea, I blew 4 bucks on cab fare to the secret location.

There, I was met with more disappointment as confusion, fatigue, and clueless salesmen proved a fatal mix.

Especially when I was referred place to place, given mixed directions.

When I finally found the place, I was told they don’t have it either.

Well done.

Right then, it was late, and I had to go.

Shopping mission failed terribly.

Something else, couldn’t be found, and is unlikely to be.

***

The sky started to build up, and it started raining again.

Without a bus stop in sight, I walked in the rain, feet bruised and sore.

I didn’t expect to walk so much yesterday and had unwittingly put on my heels.

I didn’t what bus to take to Tiong Bahru, and decided to walk on.

The walking was killing me. And I still couldn’t see any bus stop in sight.

Until I saw a bridge in the rain that blurred my vision, and ventured up it.

To my absolute surprise, when I emerged from the bridge, the first bus that came along, is a line that goes to Tiong Bahru, and I muttered a prayer of thanks in my exasperation.

Met up with Jiali at slightly past 6, and I was glad to meet up with the babe again.

In fact, so glad that, besides saying that I went home a very happy girl, I just couldn’t think of any thing else to say.

Though this is the 3rd time I meet up with her for 2005, we both concluded that the frequency is higher than any other.

It is odd.

8 years ago, we both first watched a movie together on 28 December 1997.

Titanic.

That was days or weeks after we had became inseparable friends.

The connection, and the telepathy between us left many friends amused.

She, was my first ever female buddy. Like I said before, I had decided to make her my life-long buddy right then.

A different sort. Someone of the same frequency, with that spontaneity in her.

Perhaps because, we were young.

Since then, I left for UK, and we kept in constant contact through snail mails and IRC.

Almost 8 years later, our lives took very different paths.

We don’t meet up as often, probably because our courses of life is different, or perhaps how I often refrain from picking up the phone cos… her significant other doesn’t fancy me that much.

But it is just incredibly touching when you met up with someone you deem close all these while, and realise nothing quite change when you both meet up again.

The chemistry.

The I-don’t-have-to-explain-much-and-you-would-know-exactly-what-I-am-trying-to-say.

It was as if we could pick up where we last left off, and the warm and fuzzy feeling is still there.

We had met up for the Chronicles of Narnia, cos her company had a Christmas event and had booked the entire cinema for it.

I became her date for the free movie, and free popcorn. More than happy to. Not because of freebies, because of the brilliant company.

We caught up over free popcorn just before the movie started, and SBB would really hate to hear her response when she realised who he is.

She burst into fits of heinous laughters, and I followed suit.

She updated some aspects of her life and I was glad to smile at those revelations with a twinkle in my eyes.

She is always the strait-laced one, and me, the kooky one.

She is always the quiet-looking one, who has a sparkle of hidden mischief in her. I am always the wild-looking one, who has a sprinkle of hidden quietness in me.

Somehow, we always bring out the spontaneous nature in each other.

We went into the cinema, and I realised how my 5th movie of the year, is again, watched together with a female.

Bleah.

So sad ah?

And the intriguing Da Vinci Code trailer is out, and I so want to watch it.

***

*Spoilers ahead*

I didn’t think I would enjoy the Chronicles of Narnia cos it is really not the sort of movie I would go for if not for the free tickets.

But, I actually enjoyed it a great deal.

I am not sure if the dishy King Peter(oh no, I am such a paedophile! He is only 18. Or perhaps, 15 or 16 when the movie was filmed) has anything to do with it.

Or maybe the faun played by the absolutely gorgeous James McAvoy has something to do with it.

But I remember the audible gasps from Jiali and I when we saw the adult version of King Peter at the end of the movie.

‘Oooooooooo hmmmmm,’ we both cooed at the same time.

Not bad, at least our hormonal levels are rising at the same pace after 8 years.

Muahahaha.

I have heard how Chronicles of Narnia is Christ-inspired.

I didn’t know why until I watched it.

Lion. How it was slayed like Christ was cruxified. How it resurrected thereafter.

Anyway, I thought the Queen of Narnia was so absolutely gorgeous.

***

I was actually very tired after the movie as we sat down for a cup of tea at the golden arch.

But her presence made it so comfortable that I spoke more than I would have.

We laughed, we pinpointed each other’s denials, and we just… caught up.

She had seen me when I was the tomboyish, ugly one.

I was told not to lick my lips once too often, cos my hair.. and my lips.. well, is sending out vibes.

Though I would have wanted to rush home before midnight, but I didn’t, cos it was just great to be spending time with this old buddy of mine.

From the time I started collecting female friends, I never thought she would outlast everyone.

8 years back, we always said we only know each other for ‘days’ only, because our friendship blossomed really, just in a couple of days.

Then, I left for UK after few weeks.

Now, we could claim we have a thick 8-year foundation.

There was never rivalry. Never judgment. Never jealousy. Never betrayal.

At the end of everything, we just want each other to live life to the fullest, and we want nothing but happiness for each other.

We even talked of how we would be meeting up more frequently if she is single, which I think the boyfriend might not be very happy about us talking about the prospect of it. -Sheepish-

Really baby, I wish you the very best.

Merry Christmas, my very, very, dear friend.

***

She loves cats.

And thus, this.

***

It was midnight, and I relented to raising my hand to hail for a cab.

I reached home, bushed.

I collapsed to the floor, and refused to rid of the jeans.

I rested enough, before I stood up to head for the showers, rinsing away the fatigue.

Still no nice calves.

***

The headache bugged. I went to bed.

I tossed and turned most of the night, and woke up at 5.30am.

I forced myself back to sleep and could no longer do so when it was 8.30am.

I forsee a very tiring day ahead.

In fact, I am not sure if the rain yesterday did something to me.

I am feeling not very well at this moment.

Oh no. I still have to head town to shop.

Oh no. I still have a dinner to attend tonight with a bunch of gorgeous ladies.

Oh no. I still have to party with the girls tonight.

Oh no. Oh no.

***

My adventure into JB on Wednesday was to look for something for SBB, and perhaps, something for the ladies too.

I managed to get some stuff for the guys, but have absolutely no luck with the stuff for the ladies.

I reached JB at 2.30pm, after a half an hour direct bus from the bus stop outside my place.

And, I didn’t stop walking for another 7 hours thereafter.

And, the search for something, failed terribly.

I had reached City Square in search of something.

When I first stepped into the busy mall, I had allowed myself to stray.

Well, there’s quite a bit of time on hand, I thought to myself.

And it is not my fault that MNG was having a SALE.

I thought I could find something for mum or any of my girl pals in it.

And the range of winter clothing screamt for my attention. So pretty!

I told myself I shall not allow my will to waver after I walked out of the place with a red, long sleeved, turtle-neck top.

SBB went WTF when I told him of my purchase.

He nearly puked blood when I told him how I had gleefully took a puffy winter jacket off the rack and walked towards the cashier, only to remind myself that I was doing Christmas shopping for my pals, and that there isn’t winter in Singapore either.

I reluctantly put back the jacket that would have cost me less than a hundred Singapore dollars.

The very same one I tried on, when I was out shopping with FF at MNG a month ago!

Self-control, I have.

So I settled for a RM50 top, which on hindsight, not very practical to be worn here either.

I told myself I shall not buy anything else for myself for the rest of the day.

I managed to do some fruitful shopping for the guys, and left City Square in a haste when I realised I couldn’t find something there, and I was craving for Sushi at Holiday Plaza.

I hopped on a cab with SBB on the phone, and made my way down to the next destination, still looking for, something.

I walked the entire Holiday Plaza, only to realise my Genki Sushi is closed for good, and I had to settle for McDonald’s.

Woe is me.

Disappointed is me, too.

Angry is very me.

I scoured the entire building, and couldn’t find what I was looking for.

I was tired.

I am not joking when I say I walked the entire complex, hunted every corner.

Eventually, I only managed to get a ring Nick asked me to buy on his behalf.

I spent hours there walking from end to end, demoralised.

Nothing for the ladies, either.

I went into the departmental store, and was referred from first floor to 3rd, 3rd to 2nd, 2nd to 1st and 1st to 2nd, 2nd to 3rd.

And I stupidly followed instructions, as the language barrier handicapped me.

The staff were mostly Malay, and I had to gesture to them what I was looking for, which no one could quite understand.

Could someone just pass me a knife? I either would stab them or stab myself to end my agony.

I should be glad no knife was in sight. I am not sure if I should be glad either.

***

I sinned, yet again.

I recalled how my contact lens was running low on supply, and I succumbed to temptation.

The only concrete stuff I left Holiday Plaza with, is a purchase of contact lens, for MYSELF.

Gosh.

No, no. No more. I cannot spend on myself anymore, I reminded myself.

Self-control baby, self-control.

Mission to look for something, failed.

***

I was directed to somewhere else, which I followed the instructions, and jumped onto the cab to.

I didn’t even know where I was heading, and was sitting in the cab for a few extra seconds when the driver had stopped for me.

I was slightly embarrassed when I realised he was waiting for me to get off, and exclaimed, ‘Oh, here is it huh?‘

I ended up at Giant hypermart.

Duh?!

Giant?

What could I possibly get here?

I was thirsty, and bought myself a drink.

I walked past OSIM and was stopped by the overzealous young sales person.

He tried to recommend me the UZap and his sales pitch was giving me a hard time as I tried hard to stifle my laughter.

As he rattled on endlessly, he then pointed to the poster to drive home his point.

On the poster, it was written, for Tummy, Butts, and Thighs.

He pointed to the 3 words, and said, ‘It is good for losing tummy, butt, and.. Tits.‘

I frowned. I stoned for a moment. I thought I heard something wrongly, as he repeated himself.

I realised why.

He pronounced Thighs, as Tigs.

For a moment, I nearly wanted to say, ‘Sorry, I don’t really want to lose my tits.’

I thought the instructions couldn’t be wrong, and as usual, I walked the entire hypermart to look for something, which is quite impossible to find in a hypermart.

I walked out tired, and disappointed.

I hopped on a cab, and had wanted to go to this place.

I couldn’t recall the name, and said Pelangi.

It wasn’t the place I had wanted to go, though I recognised it as the place I had once been to.

I thought I have some time in hand, and needed to rest my feet.

So it was no wonder, and totally understandable that I had walked into a shoe shop to take a breather.

What is unforgivable is the fact that, I walked out of the store, with a pair of new heels.

Dammit.

I ran out of cash to buy my Christmas presents.

Oh no!

This sucks.

I made a last minute mad rush around the plaza, and something was nowhere to be found, either.

I could have broken down and wail in despair.

By then, most of the shops in Plaza Pelangi were closing, and I was too breathless to continue. 10pm, it already was.

I didn’t even have the time to head back to my JB place as I had initially planned to.

I hopped on a cab that brought me to the custom, only to be greeted by the horrific tons of human traffic waiting for the Singapore-bound buses.

I contemplated to walk across the causeway.

But thank God a bus that arrived shortly had enough spare room for me.

***

Christmas shopping for friends, failed miserably.

Shopping for myself, wasn’t too bad a haul, really.

Wait, what was my main motive for going places these days huh?

Oh yeah, shopping for something and something else.

Someone has to remind me to get my priority right, ya know?

***

The problem is, I had seen things in JB that I would love to get for my friends.

Like the bag I know FF would like.

The ring with the gemstone Vamp will adore.

Or the bling bling Raf would fall for.

Such and such.

When I saw those on the shelves, I picked them up with fervent enthusiasm, and then I realised I had picked things that worth more than 300 ringgits, and were the most expensive stuff amongst their fellow peers.

I simply couldn’t afford.

I can’t help but think how I always have the best taste in stuff.

Though the same can’t be said for the guys I dated.

Muahahaha.

***

I waited for 20 minutes in the warm environment, until the bus 160 finally arrived.

I embarked on a long and excruciating ride back, and was devastated when I had to stand in the packed bus.

I was so glad I was wearing my most comfortable pair of Nike prestos.

Even wearing that, doesn’t stop my toes from bruising badly.

I muttered yet another prayer of thanks when someone got off, and I could finally rest my abused legs.

There was a very interesting family sitting behind me, with this teenager, who struck me as a very filial boy.

He was a bit ah bengish, but was careful to make sure his mum got onto the bus without anyone pushing.

On the ride home, I was eavedropping to their conversations(he was travelling with his cousins, and relatives I supposed, and it was quite a big group), and I was giggling to myself.

He was a joker. He was talking about how many girls have much sexual interest him, but he has never thought about them in that way.

And how he decided not to go for one particular girl cos it would mean making all the others (many, many others, in his words) disappointed.

His family all laughed, and went ‘Eeee yeeer‘ at him.

I could have joined in and smacked across his head. But it was cool to see them talking about such in such a close-knitted manner.

***

I alighted from the bus at 11, and walked a long route home.

I collapsed onto the floor and sat there for the longest time, not wanting to do anything before I garnered enough energy to head for my shower.

I wanted to blog but I was too tired to.

Way to tired.

My legs don’t feel like mine anymore.

***

Tuesday was relatively interesting.

I woke up early to head to town for some Christmas shopping.

Was chatting to Dexter over MSN and he suggested lunching in town.

We got Nick down to join us at Far East, and the arranged time to meet was 12.45pm.

I took a train down, and the guys were worried that I would be late when I was still online at 12.10pm.

I reached before they did, at 12.50pm.

Bleah. Idiotic people.

We lunched at Far East Plaza, and I quite like the food, actually.

Nick with his trademark stare.

And Dexter looking spastic here.

We joked that Vamp would still be sleeping and didn’t ask her along.

Just as we spoke of her, her message came in to tell me that Jane Doe and her would be hanging out, and asked me to give her a call when I woke up.

I called her back to tell her I was already up and was having lunch in town, and would drop by after I shop around for a while.

The 2 chaps returned to their work, and Nick and I took a train to Tanjong Pagar and City Hall respectively.

***

I alighted at City Hall and shopped around for some Christmas ideas.

I walked, and walked.

And then when I was in the ladies, I dropped my lipstick and stained my white dress.

Gr…

It left a blood-like stain, and my dress is gone for good.

Oh well.

***

I did my brows before I walked down to Purvis Street, where Miss Clarity cafe was at.

I didn’t do any shopping cos it would be rather silly to meet up with them when I was actually shopping for them.

Jane Doe,

VampTreSS and

Brian were already hanging out there.

And I joined them.

Apparently, Brian’s bike was sent for repair, and he could only collect it at 7pm, and thus, he was gatecrashing the girls’ day out.

The place is quiet and nice, and with the gloomy weather, it wasn’t too warm to hang there.

We emailed the work-bound Finicky Feline a picture of the 3 ladies, just to tell her what a relaxing afternoon we were having.

Jane Doe so pretty here!

VampTreSS had ordered herself a cute cup of latte.

We were trying to figure out what it was, and the variations came up as ‘Love’(the piscean in me thought it was that at first sight), ‘Cafe’, and since it’s Vamp’s drink, I thought ‘Late’ was appropriate too.

Latte, it was.

The klutz in me acted up again.

To add on to the lipstick stain, I dropped a piece of cake onto my dress.

No wonder I resented white garments.

Smoke couldn’t be seen. But the expression on Brian was a tad lusty. Muahahaha.

The ladies went to get their car into a nearer lot, and they had asked the act-cool one to reserve the lot just in case someone wanted to park there.

His *ahem* pride made him reluctant, and he tried to shove the chore to me. I refused, and we saw the lot taken up.

Oops.

So when another one was freed up, he begrudgingly headed to the lot, as Jane Doe drove her car there. A lorry wanted to park in the lot he was standing at, but his cold, frosty stare had drove the uncle away.

Brian, the parking lot reserver.

Jane Doe left shortly after, and it was left with us.

It started drizzling and the weather became cosy.

Someone was really bored there.

And started snapping away.

Brian and Ting.

Ting and VampTreSS.

***

We headed towards Bugis in the light drizzle, and realised it was just a street across.

I am not sure if it was my imagination or something when the 3 of us were crossing the busy junction, I felt someone smacking my butt or something.

Hmm, how strange.

***

The 3 of us shopped around for a while, and ventured into the very packed and humid Bugis Village.

Brain directed us to this small shop tucked along the stretch of compact shops, where they sell nice, genuine Adidas stuff.

I saw a very nice pair of black Adidas pants with bright pink stripes going for 35 buckeroos and had to take all the self restraints I had in me not to be tempted.

Whee.

I want!

***

It was when we were in Bugis, looking for a ATM machine, when someone stopped in my path.

A gentle-looking, skinny, soft spoken lady.

Hi, are you Ting?

Erm, yup.

I read you blog.

-Gasp gasp gasp-

Oh hi. You are…?

Churra.

Oh! Churralife?

She had left comments in my blog, and I had even received a couple of emails from her.

I giggled nervously, and remembered the fact that I was in a state of paleness.

Eee yer.

Next time wait for me to put on some make up can? So I won’t scare the hell outta you.

Thanks babe, for stopping by to say hi, and it is great to finally put a face to the emails you had sent me.

So nervous, can?

And I am still too socially inept to respond to such situations.

I introduced Brian and VampTreSS to her, before we bade her goodbye as her backview diminished into the crowd.

***

I told them I must make sure I have my war-paint on every time I head out in the future.

VampTreSS joked, ‘I wonder when will be the day when someone will stop me in my path and ask: Hey, are you Vamp? Can I eat you?‘

I rolled my eyes until I heard what Brian had got to offer.

‘I wonder when will be the day when girls will stop me in my path and ask, Hey are you Brian? Can you Bukake me?‘

I shall not elaborate what is Bukake cos I am too innocent for that, ya know?

I am just wondering when will be the day when someone will stop me in my path just to give me a slap.

***

We sent Brian to the bus stop, trying to figure out which bus would send him to where he was going, and I was amused by the 2 brats ignorant ones, when it comes to bus routes.

We bade him goodbye and continued on with our shopping, and Nick joined us again shortly after.

It was evening.

We were hungry and settled for noodles at the coffee shop across the street.

It was there, when Nick suggested that we head down to Serangoon Gardens with him to meet up with Brian and Shulin.

VampTreSS and I decided to scrimp on cab fare, and decided to embark on an adventure.

We took bus!

We searched for a bus stop that would bring us to Serangoon, and changed yet another bus to reach Serangoon Gardens, a land that is foreign to me.

We were so clueless that we asked the bus driver where to get down, and he had asked us to follow this elderly man in orange cap.

Clearly, his instructions worked, and we found ourselves at Serangoon Gardens shortly after.

VampTreSS and I were so proud of our feat, and we actually like the place well.

And yes, that obvious mark is the lipstick stain.

I was too tired to speak, and I was in a zone-out mode most of the night.

After Shulin and Brian left, we were sitting at Cafe Cartel, playing with the camera, again.

Roy had taken this, and I realised what he was trying to take.

The couple behind me.

Eeee yer. Trying to say I am unwanted is it?

So pretty!

Roy took this, and we thought it is pretty cool.

And I think Vamp is incredibly sexy when she pouts.

Whee.

Whilst we were all tired and sleepy, Nick pressed us to act cute for his sake.

I gathered all the energy within me, just for this shot.

And of course, we had a champion for the night.

The undisputable act-cuteness.

I had to secretly freeze-frame a video just to get this on my site.

Now, I fear for my life.

And yes, if you would excuse me, I shall drag my arse out of bed to head to town, now.

It’s thundering right now and I should be taking the chance to blog.

But I can’t. Cos I still have plenty of errands to run.

I don’t like Christmas that much anymore.

The last minute mad rush for shopping is killing me.

I uploaded the pictures yesterday but I was too tired to string them into a read-worthy(what read-worthy?) entry.

I shall blog how I was looking for something yesterday, but after walking for 8 hours ceaselessly, I was a disappointed soul and it was a not-so fruitful trip.

I shall curb my shopping urges and spend on things I had intended to spend on today. Sigh.

Now, I shall dart around town like a headless fly(is that a Chinese-term only?), looking for the last piece of the jigsaw.

If not, I am really going to break down and cry(not literally, just a figure of speech).

I realise how it is the toughest to get things for the people you are closest to.

6 girlies.

And 8 hours of walk, 4 malls in Johor, brought forth nothing.

NOTHING!!!

AND SOMETHING COULDN’T BE FOUND.

Woe is me.

More tonight. I am meeting some lovely people today.

Ciao.

By the way. Happy birthday, David.

What I absolutely detest is, something would bound to go wrong during such crucial time of the year, that would make me a much broker person than I already am.

It happened many times.

And so it is, again, this year.

***

Sorry, I won’t be keeping up to my promise.

There won’t be any pictures of gorgeous babes clad in their skimpy clubbing gears, pouting their lips sexily to spice up the screen.

Girls’ night out didn’t happen.

What a bum.

***

I find it pretty hard to sit still in front of the monitor for the past couple of days. Not sure if it was the book.

Or perhaps, the itch.

Or just perhaps, nothing much.

***

The wind didn’t just ruffle my hair today.

It manipulated my style into a silly mop, which I had tried hard, and unsuccessfully, swept out of my face.

I felt good enough to be in the midst of it, as it carressed every inch of me, almost recklessly.

The 2nd day I had been out by myself.

A short walk really does me much good. In a world of my world, I feel good.

I saw a lot of things along the way. Things you seldom find in this busy, fast-paced cosmopolitan town.

I walked past this old shop, which still has the dark grey, cold concrete floor I used to have at my old place till I was 10.

It sells 2nd hand fridges and televisions, and I saw a mat right at where the entrance is.

On it, sprawled across, was a baby girl, lying on her tummy, taking an afternoon nap.

Right next to her, couple of those 2nd-hand televisions were blasting away on those low shelves.

Her fine, thin hair tousled by the breeze.

Her grandma and dad having a conversation nearby.

I wonder which parent would crease their brows if his/her child is being rested on the cold concrete floor of a shop these days.

I almost wanted to smile at the simplicity of it.

It was all so… innocent.

***

Had dinner by myself at the hawker centre, with the stumpy guy at the stall being extremely nice, again.

For the first time, he asked if the portion was okay with me, and if I wanna add more stuff to my Nasi Lemak. When I declined, he muttered something along the line of, ‘But it’s so little..’.

I have not quite gotten my appetite back, and thus was quite okay with it.

At the coffee shop yesterday, the same uncle who brought me the drink I wanted without taking orders from me last week, saw me from afar, and pantomined if I needed a drink, and he brought me the usual iced tea I had always ordered.

Oddly, at the hawker centre across the road, I would order watermelon juice.

The stumpy guy at the stall, would usually hover around me, waving the drink stall uncle or auntie, catching their attention, so they would come over to take my orders.

He first did it when once, after I sat down with my Nasi Lemak, I tried to look around for people to take my drink orders, but yet, was too shy to speak up cos everyone was buzzing around, and not seeing my soft whispers for their attention.

Don’t ask me why an usually loud person like me would sink into such phases of shyness. I have no explanations, either.

Since then, Mr Stumpy would always quietly get the attention of the stall owners on my behalf(once, he walked up to them to tell them), and I always pretended I didn’t see his efforts of doing so.

I think he had decided that I am just a helpless, shy damsel in distress.

Nice people are all around.

***

SBB called while I had just finished dinner, and was roaming along the neighbourhood.

Couldn’t quite remember the places and stores I scooted in and out of, but I remember walking into the Singapore Pools cos of a minor casual mention on the phone.

I have never bought any numbers for myself on a consistent basis, and the last time I had walked in during one of those spurs of the moment, was perhaps years and years ago.

Wish me luck.

If you are a close friend, pray hard.

Your Christmas surprises depend heavily on this.

***

I am quite gripped by my book.

Quite an easy read for its short and crisp chapters, littered with constant punches.

It is hardly surprising that I haven’t been blogging for these 2 days.

I had tore myself away from it, to do a quick recap, with this post.

So my day has been simple.

Read. Eat. Read. On the phone with SBB. Read. Blogging now.

Not forgetting how I had replenished my lost sleep last week with plenty of shut-eye time.

I slept earlier yesterday. 5am. But greeted the day when it was 4 plus in the afternoon.

Scary thing was, I found myself lusting for more sleep, which I cruelly forced myself away from, by springing up from bed, freshening myself up.

***

Confined myself to the comfort of my bed for most of my Sunday too.

It was almost a similar routine.

Slept at 6am(a great leap of improvement from my sleeping time of 1pm or 2pm), and woke up at -gasp- 5pm.

My disbelief was evident when I sat up from the bed, feeling light-headed and thought I had read the time wrongly.

I was sick.

***

Some weeks ago, over a meet up session with the ladies, we grazed topics that could be quite intelligent, besides the 3-lettered words we are always capable of.

One, was of severe infections, we ladies have to put up with.

When one of them spoke vividly of her worst infection, and another sharing her experiences of the incredible itch, I silently muttered a prayer of thanks that I didn’t have to go through that.

I shall not mention how I was suppressing a smirk of satisfaction and relieve that I didn’t have to go through any of those, in the worst possible way.

I cringed at the scary details spoke forth by them.

Like those of UTI and yeast infection.

I don’t know which is worse, cos I never quite have aggravated conditions of any of the above.

Mild, yes.

I think the glee in me, had brought me karma.

Imagine my horror when I found myself clenching my fist with enough force for my nails to pierce my palm, just to refrain myself from scratching.

Something was very wrong.

Thank goodness that when I was out over the weekend, the itch miraculously contained itself with much obedience.

But, it got worst when I got home, and I found (if you know me, please don’t read this) smashed-beancurd like(quote from Queen of Yeast) discharge when I was using the loo.

I shrilled 3 octaves higher than my normal pitch, and the mirror cracked into pieces.

No, I didn’t do that.

But, I was scared shitless alright?

I mean, yeap, I had yeast infection when I was younger, especially not long after I started puberty when I was 11, but never had it gotten this bad.

I called up my help frantically, and asked the queen for the SOP.

She gave me a few options of heading down to the pharmacy and grimly told me that my condition was bordering the line of the worst possible case, and it would itch like hell.

She warned me not to scratch if I didn’t want it to get bloody(or something to that effect).

And I was supposed to go commando to air it.

Freak. It sure did itch like hell, like the girls said it would.

And the infection weakened me quite a bit, and I later found out why.

I shall never be secretly in glee, and gloat over others’ misery again.

***

Was at the doctor’s instead, cos I needed to get my usual prescription since I ran out of them.

Quite understandably, I walked out of the clinic a much poorer woman.

I was amused to see the medication to stop the itch, is actually the same medication for runny nose.

I can’t see the connection here, but it sure tickles me.

Was given some oral medications to fight it, too.

And something to stick up myself.

I was told my immune system was down, down, down.

The lack of fluids and lack of sleep broke down my immune system’s defense.

Bleah.

-50 bucks for present-shopping.

Well done.

***

I know how ironic this may sound, but sticking the pill up myself was way excruciating than the tampon incident in Sepang during MotoGP.

I swear I was almost tearing from the frustration.

I just.. couldn’t.

Don’t ask me why, cos it seems like such impossible feat.

But I struggled for 20 minutes, before 1/3 of the pill became powdery before my agony was ended.

Ouch ouch.

Sore and bruised.

***

Had dinner across the street at the usual coffee shop, before making my way to Bukit Batok West Mall to do some book shopping.

Even the usually quiet mall was bustling with much life, which was something I really dreaded.

Did some usual necessity shopping before making my way to the bookshop, browsing aimlessly, not knowing what to buy.

Returned one of my books before settling for yet another.

Dad called.

I had called him earlier, telling him that my air-conditioner was leaking(gee, everything just has to go against me huh?!).

He didn’t find me at home, and I told him I was out, after a trip to the clinic. He had wanted to pick me up, but I told him I would be back soon.

Back home, he tried to persuade me to follow him back to Johor, so at least there would be someone taking care of me, and that I would eat well.

The thought of being stuck in that emotionless place, put me off.

I rebutted light-heartedly that I am used to the solitude for 7 years and I am still surviving, means that I wouldn’t be found dead in the apartment anytime soon, and he shouldn’t keep worrying about me.

But which parent wouldn’t worry, right?

I know.

He called to check on me again today, and I really do appreciate it.

***

Slept for only 3 hours before I was woken up by SBB‘s call on Saturday 8am.

Following Friday’s pattern, I couldn’t sleep thereafter, and I was awake till… 1.30pm, before I caught another couple of hours of sleep till 3.

I got up for a day of Christmas shopping with Finicky Feline.

The first time we get together since her trip to the beautiful Beijing.

She told me how beautiful it was, and how much memorable memories she had brought back together with her.

I will love the place, she says, cos I speak like them.

No, I don’t.

Orchard was insane with all the crowd. I was pretty much intimidated.

I think sometimes, when I ain’t feeling that well, it becomes a superficial place I couldn’t quite keep up with.

We had lunch at Scott’s, before making our way to Far East and Lucky Plaza for some Christmas shopping.

We managed to get a thing or 2. Or 3.

Not enough.

We jaywalked over to Takashimaya’s side, and we were thirsty.

We walked into Coffee Bean just for the free water, but the flask sensed our evil vibes and went on a strike.

We headed for Kinokuniya, where we spent the most amount of time, searching aimlessly.

Bumped into Adrianne, my primary school classmate and her husband.

I left there empty-handed.

***

There wasn’t much time for us to shop, cos I was bluffed into agreeing to head down Zouk with her for the Canon DV Fest.

Vince had invited FF, and she had asked me to tag along.

Thanks Vince! You were really great in it.

FF and I were looking for the washroom, when someone came up to ask if we needed help. We declined with a smile, and as I walked away, I did a double take, before the surprise on the girl’s face registered too.

‘Eh! Tingting jiejie!’ she called out.

I cringed at the family’s address.

My cousin, who had bloomed into a young lady in junior college.

We were in there looking at E.I.C., who thrilled us more than any of those so-called celebrities did.

Um, and that guy in grey suit, whose name I didn’t quite have the guts to know.

As much as I pulled FF back when she pretended to wanna go up to ask him over, and threatened that I would severe my friendship with her if she ever did that, I guess I would silently smirk in glee if she actually did.

We left early and walked to VampTreSS’ place, where we saw her topless.

Woooohooooo.

Big big.

As FF and I laid in bed together, we all spoke of younger males and I sheepishly admitted that a 12 year-old boy was looking at me on the bus the day before, and I held his gaze inquisitely, puzzled.

Gosh. That’s so wrong!!!!

I sound so sick!

But but but, he stared at me, didn’t he?

I was more puzzled by his intense stare than anything else, ya know?

No lust at all, okay?

And, from the day’s constant gawking at the female species, I have a feeling that I am beginning to feel the lesbian vibes in me rocketing high.

***

Kelvin and Nick picked us up from Vamp’s place, and we all headed down to Holland Village by Kelvin’s car.

I was almost running low on fuel as we sat at Coffee Club, with dark eye rings so obvious that it would put Alex Barros to shame.

Roy saw it almost the moment he sat down, and asked if I hadn’t had enough sleep recently.

Positive.

I mumbled my way through conversations.

I was flicking my tongue during one of those conversations, and someone commented I would be quite good at if I were to become a lesbian.

See, I told ya the force is strong with this one.

Later, Roy made a comment about my tongue and lips that I should make good use of.

I eyed him suspiciously and laughed.

I AM making good use of them.

Just not enough.

*Cough*

***

The smirk and the lick of the lips are emerging more freuquently these days when delicious topics come up.

And we are unaware of such reaction, too.

(Only the girlies would know what this mean)

Oh no.

Tsk tsk.

***

We adjourned to King Albert Park MacDonald’s thereafter.

At the carpark, Kelvin was made 50 bucks poorer, and Nick, 8 bucks.

Woops.

Summon.

I joked to VampTreSS that everyone seems to be losing something.

Season of bankruptcy, indeed.

***

We stayed on till 3 plus, before making our ways back home.

Very tired.

No wonder the 11 hours of sleep.

***

Went out to City Hall on Friday, with only 4 hours of sleep(3pm-7pm), and waited more than half an hour for Raf’s arrival, before we made our way down to Clarke Quay.

Ministry of Sound, you see.

I had quite dreaded the events, as I told Janise the night before, cos I seriously didn’t think I was up to any serious clubbing.

But Vamp was keen and had persuaded me to join her with some of the girlies from the Thumper’s event. I relented, and I had thought of asking Raf down together.

Vamp had very smartly told us that she would only head down, after we check if the queue was long or not.

Quite sensibly, it gotta be absolute madness.

We told her, and she decided not to join us. It wouldn’t make much sense for us to go ahead either, would it?

And it was insanely packed that we didn’t even bother to try.

We had dinner, and sat around for a while for a chat. Haven’t seen her around for the longest time, and it was sure a great pleasure to see her again.

Feroz came to pick her up to head to Zouk, where his colleagues would be there.

Being really broke, I decided not to join, and headed for the bus stop, for the Nightrider home, slightly past 12 midnight.

Didn’t expect my Friday night to be such a short-lived one.

***

I fastened my pace and headed for the traffic lights.

Raf had said she was right in front of Funan IT Mall.

Suddenly, I heard hurried footstep behind me, and a guy sprang from behind, and stood right before me, blocking my path.

Hi, I know you!

Oh no. Sensing he might be someone who reads this space, I instinctively covered my rash-filled face, touched my limp, greasy hair, and shielded my tired, soul-less eyes.

No, no, no. I am not! I am not… (I almost spilled my own name and held my tongue in time)! No no no!

Yah! You are! I read your blog! You are… um.. Ting right?

I relented and ceased to put up a weak defense.

After a brief introduction over handshakes, the young, tall, fresh-faced chap is 20 year-old Victor.

Though you gave me the fright of my life, thanks for stopping by to say hi. I would much prefer that, actually. Heh.

The small talks got a bit awkward cos I am a bum when it comes to social skills, and I was trying to look at the floor cos I was too shy(!!) to look up to him. A

Throw in the occasional nervous giggle, and I was an outright mess.

He has young, boyish looks, and I almost thought he was too underaged to read my blog.

Tsk tsk tsk.

Just right then, Raf crossed over the road, and I introduced the 2 of them to each other, before we bade goodbye to him.

***

Raf and I saw a delicious looking German by the ATM.

Just when I bade goodbye to Raf for good for that very same night, it was just 4 or 5 steps after I gave her a goodbye hug and ventured onto my way, when he appeared.

He wasn’t quite tall, slightly taller than me, and not-too-bad looking.

In fact, he reminded me of a dutch friend of mine.

Yes, the very one who might be reading this right now.

As I was approaching the bus stop, stepping away the buzzing side of Clarke Quay, I heard hurried footsteps behind me, again.

Hello!

I turned to my left and there, he stood.

I smiled politely and returned the greeting.

Where are you heading?

I gave a confused look, and smiled, ‘Home?‘

Is you home faraway from here?

I laughed, ‘Yeap, relatively far.‘

How are you going back?

Er… by bus?

A brief talk later, he revealed that he is actually from the Netherlands.

Ah, no wonder the resemblance, I thought quietly to myself.

You sure you don’t want to stay out?

Nah, I am too tired to, anyway.

I am not familiar with Singapore, may I know where I can go…?

I gave him directions to some of the clubs in Singapore, and since MOS was too packed to squeeze even a bee in, I told him of other alternatives.

I walked on, and I was surprised he didn’t turn to other directions, and followed me instead.

Eventually he asked.

You sure you don’t want to stay?

No, I am heading home.

You sure you want to go home?

Yeap.

You sure you want to go home alone?

Er.. yeah, of course.

I smiled and waved bye before I walked away, a tad nervously this time.

As I replayed the scenerio in my mind over and over again, I realised what he had been trying to say.

He was asking if he could come home together with me.

Eek.

Stupid me.

I tried calling Raf, and then asked her to stay on the phone with me.

Eventually I told her the description of the guy, and she asked if the guy was wearing flip-flops, cos she just saw a guy who resembles Coen walking past her.

I wasn’t quite positive, until when I was on the bus, and saw the same guy roaming along the streets.

On his feet, were a pair of flipflops.

Alright.

Mr Dutchman is cute, albeit a tad too sleazy.

I wonder if I responded that I was taking a cab, would he have asked if he could follow me home.

I was just glad I was on the bus safely, with a nice cosy seat as I took a long ride home.

***

FF was back from China that night, and coincidentally, when she told me about this guy she sat next to on the flight, he ended up to be someone I know, and had blogged about recently.

Very recently, in fact.

In fact, I even joked about me having a crush on him.

Truth is, I had met the guy over a huge group-supper half a year ago, and he sat right opposite to me.

Gee. What a small world.

***

My Surprise broke down on me on Friday!

Surprise, is its name. Given by SBB the person who bestowed Surprise to me.

So sad was me.

I was wondering if water(or whatever) had sept into it and caused it to went into a seizure.

I dejectedly tried to twist it to life, but it wouldn’t.

I understand someone’s(one of the girlies) woe couple of months back.

I pouted and sulked a little, before I rushed to get some batteries out of the camera.

A twist, and it buzzed to life.

I beamed in delight as I held it, and felt its violent force, with more strength than before.

So happy kicked sadness, and happy(and whatever thereafter) was me, again.

***

I really have no idea what to get for people around me for Christmas.

Really.

I am going crazy.

Someone gave me a brilliant idea today and I might do just that.

I think I might choose JB as my Christmas shopping location.

Hehehehehehehehehehehehe.

Anyone wanna join me there?

I shall resolve to wake up at 12.30pm tomorrow.

***

I launched a hunt-down for my old schoolmates from UK.

I managed to locate Mumin and Azlan and some of the others!

So happy!

***

It is the season of sharing again.

Thanks Xiuzhao, for the E-card and the lovely email you dropped.

Thanks Faith, for the fabulous nice card, you never failed to send it through post, these couple of years.

And even Andrea(the nice chap from Italy), had sent an E-card, which brightened up my day, definitely.

Did I mention that, I love wordy Christmas cards?

They never fail to bring avanlanches of emotion.

Alone, but not lonely, was today.

I took a stroll, round the neighbourhood, enjoying the feeling of my fringe ruffled by the chilly breeze.

Walk, I did.

It was a strangely nice feeling.

I strolled under the cluttered sky, and the pretty moon looks as if it is concealed by a bed of blackened cotton wool.

I felt as if the entire neighbourhood belongs to no one but me.

It was 2am. I walked out, to have my first bite of the day. Delifrance from the petrol kiosk across the road would be nice, I thought.

The same route, as yesterday, barely 22 hours forth.

Difference is, he wasn’t with me tonight.

I felt no threat walking in the dead of the night, sinfully indulging in the rare peace.

Peace from within, too.

It was as though I could walk on forever, and I took a longer route to the coffeeshop further down the street instead.

I almost skipped my entire way there. Perhaps it should have rained, and I would have danced instead.

But no, I didn’t want to be mistaken to be mentally challenged, nor did I want to scare the few people on the road shitless since I was wearing white, with a head of dishevelled tresses. I curbed the overzealous pace, and sashayed down the street.

***

My body survives on a bodyclock adjusted to a day’s lag.

Time slept on Tuesday(supposed Monday’s night): 1.30pm.
Woke up at 4.30pm.
Went back to sleep again at 5pm.
Finally slept till 7.45pm. Yay.

Strangely though, I wasn’t quite tired that night either. I managed to hold out till Wednesday 1pm.

Woke up at: 5pm, and I couldn’t sleep anymore.

And you would think I was all tired and maxed out for that night.

No, I only fell asleep at 6.30am, and woke up at 7.30am, without a single sleepybug in me.

I stayed awake from 7.30 to 12 noon, before I felt cosy enough to finally drift into deep sleep.

7.30pm, was my definition for morning, today.

It is Friday morning now, and I am operating on Thursday’s mode.

Subconsciously, I am yearning to run away from Singapore.

Since I have no financial ability to get away physically, my mind decided to roam the world on its own.

I was in Europe the week before, and now, my mind has travelled, and settled down in US of A.

No worries, tonight’s girls’ night out would probably get my arse back to Singapore, and tune my clock back to normal.

Whee.

And yes, I shall hope to splash lotsa eye candies’ pictures in this site, in days to come.

I haven’t been quite kind to you guys, visually, with the constant flood of makeupless pictures of mine.

***

I feared for my life on Tuesday night.

Roy wanted to kill me for writing about him, and posting the picture of him in ecstasy.

I think he fear for his butt’s safety.

Brian passed on a threat that I am a bitch for posting his Evian-sucking gay picture, and that I better take down the picture, before he fulfill the same threat he posed to VampTreSS some months ago.

I think he fear for his lips’ safety. Or butt. Wherever.

Kelvin’s devilish stare was sharp enough to slit my throat when I was happily licking the strawberry and cream flavour Chupa Chups.

SBB called up when I was out with the group of guys, and breathed down my neck.

‘You are so dead when I see you‘

Only because I told the whole wide world how he sang Doraemon in a baby voice, and I don’t think it is a good timing for me to say how he launched into ‘Schni Schna Schnappi’ mode ever so naturally these days.

People, again I say, burial, not cremation, please.

If my body could be found, that is.

Tsk. Guys around me are petty creatures. They don’t grow up, do they?

***

Was hungry and bored. Arranged for supper date(*cough*) with Nick since he was still in the office, working late.

Meeting place was Holland Village.

I waited at Buona Vista MRT for Kelvin to arrive in the car with Nick to pick me up, before picking Vamp, who was at the next bus stop.

Dexter came down to join us for a brief while.

Initially, I was really looking forward to supper cos I was really hungry after not really eating for 2 or 3 days, but after downing a cup of iced Milo, my appetite plunged to a nought, and I didn’t place any food orders.

Breko was closed by the time we went over, and Nick then suggest a place of nostalgia to hang out.

King Albert’s Park MacDonald’s.

Kelvin drove the 3 of us down, and offered us some sweets and lollipops on the way there.

Roy was supposed to meet up with us at the place that brought countless memories of my seconday school days.

I chose one lollipop out of the 2 Chupa Chups, and ripped its wrapper apart in my anxious bid to devour my first Chupa Chups in….. 6 years!

I am not quite a fan of lollipop, cos I don’t enjoy sucking that much. On sweets, that is.

I tend to get bored of it after a while, and I often left my lollipops and sweets half eaten, before I would stop sucking them, and discard them away.

The fury on Kelvin’s face was evident. His face scrunched into an obvious child-like disappointment, and scowled in a boy-like manner, ‘You took my strawberry and cream flavour!!!!!‘

Hell hath no fury like an executive man’s chupa chups snatched.

Woops. I should have chosen the strawberry flavoured one. But.. but.. but.. he didn’t state that he wanted it, did he?

When I displayed immense boredom of the shrinking lollipop later on as we settled down for burgers, he threatened that I would better finish the entire lollipop and not dispose of it unfinished.

I sulked, and reluctantly obliged.

My lollipop was then put aside, as I had my first proper meal of the delicious beef rice burger. Imagine my horror, when I finished my burger, a deep, thick growl reminded me to finish the lollipop that was left to stand throughout.

Boohoohoo.

We sat around to hang out, and I have always adored KAP. I told of how I once skipped school, to meet up with Xiuzhao there, cos that was the very day, something not so nice happened.

I still remember what I wore. A striped dress. With my spikey crew cut hairdo. Oh and the Polo Ralph sling bag I was carrying.

I still remember who I bumped into at KAP. This guy, named Zhizai.

I still remember that morning. I was supposed to have a Chinese Literature test AND a Mathematics paper.

I still remember that morning, I was late for school, and I reached school when it was History period.

I had dropped History, and thus, only few classmates who had dropped the same subject, were in the classroom, whilst the others were having classes elsewhere.

I still remember that morning.

I still remember that morning he didn’t send me to school as he always do.

I still remember I didn’t quite sleep that night.

I still remember I was sobbing at the bus stop, holding my Chinese Literature main textbook to my face, as if I was studying it.

It was almost impossible to be reading it, cos my vision was completely blurred.

I can’t remember if I was in glasses or contact lenses though.

I still remember the very very sweet lady, who was at the very same deserted bus stop with me, possibly some neighbour from the same estate.

I still remember it was 7 plus in the morning, with the faint light of day slowly seeping in more and more.

I still remember her, carrying a Louis Vuitton bag, though I have no idea what brands are, back then.

I still remember her digging into her bag for a tissue, and consoled me. She had thought I was under too much stress for a test that day.

Of course, the uniform would be a dead giveaway. Epitome of insane results-driving.

I reached school, telling 2 of my classmates that I don’t think I should be staying.

I went to look for my then Mathematics teacher, and I broke down in front of him, and to him I wouldn’t be able to stay till in the noon for my test.

He was at a loss as he saw me sob, and he told me to return home to rest. He didn’t ask why.

The same basket(ironically, I met many basket teachers, but I didn’t quite lose any respect for him, perhaps because I feel good about him), who resembles a chimpanzee, asked me to stand in class a few days later(it was NPCC day, I remember, and I was in full uniform), to explain for my absence for the Maths test.

In a harsh and reproaching tone, no less. I felt so useless, cos I didn’t manage to tame the tears of betrayal, and I could only manage to utter ‘But… that day… I… told… you personally…‘

Only 2 or 3 classmates(those who had dropped History) had seen me walked out of the class that morning, to head for class 4L(where he was at) to inform him that I couldn’t attend my test.

I looked around helplessly. Words lost me. With my handicap in English back then, I could hardly fend for myself.

I was made to stand up to give an explanation. I couldn’t. I stood there, and the helplessness turned into tears. Blardy wimp, was me.

He then went into full force scolding, and asked me to ‘tell the truth‘.

I didn’t. I couldn’t. I didn’t know how to either.

The betrayal was almost overwhelming. I felt it was total unreasonableness.

I was made to stand throughout, in my uniform, prominently, for the start(2 lessons), till recess.

Yeap. I couldn’t tell him that I was at King Albert’s Park.

I couldn’t tell him that, it was the very morning when they fought and I saw a trail of blood on the floor.

I couldn’t tell him that I was afraid they might kill each other and rushed home to make sure they were still alive.

I couldn’t tell him that it was the day when I got home, I didn’t dare to step in, and had sniffed in hard to make sure there wasn’t any overwhelming stench that would smell like iron.

I couldn’t tell him that it was the day I didn’t see any one of them around, and had panicked. I called Aunt only to know my mum was in hospital.

I couldn’t tell him that it was the day when she did tests for her injury to make a report against him.

I didn’t want to stay home nor head to the hospital, but was greatly relieved.

I called anyone possible on the phone, but everyone was still in school.

Only Xiuzhao, who stopped a year of school to recover from her condition back then.

As much as I was close to her, we never quite discuss intimate issues back then, and I doubt she was aware of the chilling cool and calmness or the occasional over-the-top boisterousness in me that day.

KAP was a place, distant from school. At there, I wouldn’t bump into any faces I didn’t want to see.

It was also the place I holed up at, not wanting to go home.

No, no, no. Don’t start thinking that it is painful for me to write the above.

It’s not.

It is just somehow a place will bring back certain memories, and it just happens to pour forth as I write about KAP.

I realised I didn’t quite write about that part before(or jot down about that day somewhere for reminisce sake in the future. Hurhur.), and it just ran to my fingers, straight from my thoughts, before I even realised how exudative they are.

***

It was also there, where I met a very nice chap named Adrian Goh from Catholic Junior College, whom I had since lost contact.

It left a sweet memory cos I was studying(or trying to look as if I was) there, when he threw a crushed note onto my table.

***

It was also the place, where I had a farewell meet up with my secondary school classmates before I was supposed to fly off to London.

It was also the place, I had a rendevous with my first boyfriend. Muahaha.

(The moment I wrote till here, I got a sudden impulse to dig for the awfulawesome pictures from the past. Cringeworthy, may I add.)

Hold you breath, peepz.

Oh, and I discovered some pictures, which made me laugh, at the coincidence.

Oh no. I laughed so hard that I can’t quite continue with my post.

Sheesh. I found pictures I never thought I have. I found pictures I never should have. I found pictures I wish I have never taken.

And people who left me memories that are fast-fading.

Sad thing is, most of these people, I don’t know them anymore.

GOD.

And I found evidence that prove that I used to have nice pines.

***

I spent an hour trying to use my digital camera to capture some of the pictures, so I could post them up. Ahh.. you have to endure through my recap before you could finally see them. Hurhurhur.

And oh, am gonna post pictures of SBB and me, too.

Um, somewhat, that is.

Wah, this post really value for money.

***

We sat around KAP, and I was meddling with Nick’s palm top, when I decided to message all those on his MSN list who were online.

I saw a nick ‘Reflections’, and click on his window.

To my horror, I saw the below sentence typed in the window: ‘Dexter says Ting reminds him of Christabel.‘

I gave Nick a vicious stare, and…. ROARRRRRRRRRRRR!

He went ‘Oh shit‘ cos he had forgotten to close the window after messaging Roy, who was sitting right next to us, meddling with his laptop.

Apparently, Christabel is branded as the group’s bitch, and I have heard of stories regarding her, and thus, my pretty worked up reaction.

I definitely don’t look like her, cos she is supposed to be really pretty. Apparently she was with 3 different guys of the group before. Dex was one of them.

I saw Dexter online the day after and interrogated him why do I remind him of her, and apparently the way I dress and my mannerisms.

Seriously, that doesn’t go down my throat well, after how everyone in the group seems to dislike her.

Muahahahaha.

It was then when Roy loaded my site, when he threw me a piercing stare, and threatened to take my life.

Right at that moment, SBB called, and threatened my life, too.

Is my life miserable or what? *Sulks*

***

It was 2 plus, when we finally called it a day, and I left for home.

***

Coincidence.

Or something else?

Just couple of weeks ago, we heard about the demise of La Idler.

I was at the Expat magazine event at Thumper, when FF called me to inform me of the bad news.

I got quite a bit of a shock, and whilst we were standing by the entrance, I passed the news onto the girls with me, including VampTreSS.

Inches away from us, stood the pretty Fiza, whom I couldn’t stop gushing in that post, how gorgeous she is. Yeap, the one I was gawking the entire night.

Few days ago, when I was reading Cowboy Caleb’s blog, I saw him referring to a post, written by La Idler’s friend, which included a few pictures of her closest pals.

And then, I saw, her.

Hope she is taking it well.

How strange, is the coincidence.

***

Speaking of coincidence #2…

My first Chupa Chups in 6 years, coincide with a strange incident that very night after I got home from KAP.

I found someone adding me on MSN, and started speaking to the person, to ask of his identity.

He asked if I speak Spanish, and I answered negatively.

So apparently, he is a Spanish.

He asked to see my picture, and I switched my MSN picture to something that shows my face.

I saw his face on the MSN window, but couldn’t quite make out who he is.

His English wasn’t too bad, and is quite good in fact.

I started asking how did he add me and such, and he didn’t quite answer me.

So, his name is Jorge.

Jorge and Ting started chatting.

So, Ting started asking Jorge what does he do.

He is into competitive motorsports apparently.

I asked of his age.

25, was his reply.

Getting really suspicious, I asked if his surname starts with ‘L’.

He laughed, and asked me to try again.

Then again, it couldn’t be the person I have in mind, cos the person I have in mind, is actually, 18.

Eventually, getting really suspicious, and his picture was really a tad too obvious, I declared him a BLUFF.

‘YOU BLUFFED ME!!’ I cried.

He laughed, and admitted to the prank.

How did you get my MSN, I pressed, and I asked of his collarbone injury, and its recovery.

‘You friend of Pablo Nieto?‘

Ah, everything falls into place, and I know why.

Pablo, next time, please pass on my MSN to Valentino or Marco, alright?

And yes, he is the guy with the surname ‘L’. I doubt most people would have heard of him, though.

Cos he is a MotoGP 250cc class rider, and is tipped to be the most likely to take the championship for 2006.

Jorge Lorenzo.

And yes, he is only 18, and Spanish. He looks like some character out of the Harry Potter movie, though.

Great, I joked.

125cc, 250cc, MotoGP class, and I each have a rider from each category on my MSN. An engineer, 2 personal assistances, and the freight team.

I can start fielding my own MotoGP team, if someone willing to be my sponsors. Muahahaha.

And guess what?

If you don’t know who he is, his helmet shall give you a better idea. It is the famous Chupa Chups design.

Like the one beside me in the picture.

Whee, right on the day I ate a Chupa Chups lollipop.

***

Does it consider coincidental that he is just back from a party and is online right now as I am blogging about him?

And -gasp- a party thrown by Real Madrid soccer team.

Pablo was there too.

And, my favourite Roberto was there, too!

AHHH!! I don’t want to go Italy anymore. I want to go Spain instead!

***

SBB called right at 4.30am, when I finished my conversation with Jorge.

The conversation should have finished by 6….

But it went on…

… and on….

… and on….

Uhm, it was 11.30am by the time the very heated phone receiver went back to its cradle for a rest.

7 freaking hours.

That was the reason why I didn’t quite sleep early on Tuesday either.

***

It was… nice.

The call.

I don’t know.

I just the feeling to be able to talk about everything so frankly and in-your-face is liberating and refreshing.

I don’t usually have high opinions of guys who are involved with me.

Why not?

To me, it is directly proportionate to my self worth. I just don’t think of them highly, if they choose to be associated with me.

Does that mean you don’t think highly of me?

Hahahahahahaha. No… but actually… Let’s skip that shall we?

I mean seriously, perhaps I am just around you at the right place, right time, or perhaps because I am not working right now, and you can have abundance of attention from me.

Or perhaps your quality control ain’t that high.

And maybe, I am just a case of ‘whatever‘.

A friend once asked me, if I am just going with the flow, just because I am just a person who will go with the flow, and not say no. Thus, whatever will come my way, I will just go on, following others’ cue, just because others want things their way.

Sometimes at my expense, just because I think that is the best I deserve.

Are you, sweetie? His voice turned sombre.

I giggled. Don’t know, I answered.

He repeated his question, in a rather serious tone, again.

He knows I giggle only when I have troubles confronting the subject.

I don’t want to think about it, cos certain things I don’t really want to dwell too much into. I would rather not know.

No, I think this is a question you ought to ask yourself and think it over. Are you feeling obligated?

I knew what he meant.

He, and I.

Please, please, please, don’t ever feel so. Tell me, if you ever do. I don’t ever want you to feel obligated.

Don’t know, really. Maybe, no. Not yet.

Hurhurhur.

Quoting you, I am not done with you yet, either.

***

How open are you to me?

I don’t know. But, higher than a lot of people. But of course, a lot of things I wouldn’t tell you. Things about you, of course.

Why not?

Simply because humans are naturally sensitive. I just am very afraid you might take things the wrong way, that’s all.

Another reason, is perhaps because, I don’t feel the openness is mutual.

Tsk. Another evasive male species.

Not that I feel that it should be a balanced equation that how open you are, will directly contribute to how open I am.

It is just that, it puts me at a vulnerable position as if I might sink into a mind game I never want to be a part of.

***

I like talking to you.

Hurhurhur.

I know why.

It is only then you feel you are smarter right?

Must need someone of the other end of spectrum to make the contrast obvious, is it?

Hmphf.

Feeling is mutual.

***

The 3-lettered word was a frequent topic too.

Muahahaha.

Shh….

It was more funny than anything else as we laughed.

Something along the line of the skirt, the picture of the skirt and boots, your rules or mine, fantasies and such, enthusiasm and such, laughing and such, kissing of the neck and such, lips and tongue and such.

***

I don’t see why you have a problem with your esteem. The first time I saw you, you didn’t come across as such, until I spoke to you that night on the phone after we met the 2nd time.

Knowing how the discussion of this topic would always steer to the wrong way, I stayed quiet for a while.

My tone was pointed and sharp when I next replied.

I don’t have any reason why I should have a high esteem either.

You are not ugly, you are not stupid either, you have no reason to be.

That’s the precise reason. I want to be pretty. I want to be smart. Not ugly and not stupid is not enough. And yes, I can’t wait to have surgery done. If I can, I would rather use a knife to cut up my face, so that people will pool in money for my surgery.

Please don’t do anything like this to hurt yourself, sweetie.

Cos when you average looking, people will consider you as ugly. When you are not that bright, people will still have room to call you a bimbo.

The topic never cease to make me get all worked up and agitated.

I felt this.. slight drop in the heart, or a very real squeeze to the chest area.

Ouch.

I fought hard for the tears to stay away, with a fury defiance.

He sensed it and tried to steer the topic away, and it was too late.

I was already one emotional wreck.

I didn’t want to head to town anymore. I didn’t feel good enough to be out in town.

I sank into a morbid silence mode.

He sounded really apologetic when he didn’t want to. He apologised.

Don’t cry, sweetie.

Am not, came the crisp and snappy answer.

I am sorry, I just wanted to help you, but I didn’t know it would actually backfire.

You didn’t do anything wrong, and yet had to endure through my sudden swing of mood, that was probably the spoiler of the otherwise pleasant conversation.

***

Though, I have to say, I am really, really sorry.

I know you meant well.

I know you tried to cheer me up at the end of it.

It was more of my fault, than anything else.

The obstinateness has to go, I know.

I am my worst enemy.

***

The feeling left a very bad conclusion to the phone call when he finally had to rest.

He was making a remarkable effort to cheer me up, but my hung-up didn’t respond to any of those well, even though, I very much want to.

I wasn’t angry or anything.

If there was someone I was angry with, it gotta be myself.

I don’t know what was it that did it for me.

I just grew.. afraid.

I was shaking with emotions within, and I crawled into my duvet, defeated, bruised and shattered.

***

I feel the same snappishness whenever a friend brings up a subject with reference to my low self-esteem.

Or attributes anything or something to it.

I can’t remember anything in recent days that can pissed me off as much as that.

It is like a taboo button, and turns me on more quickly than a vibrator.

And it’s an ugly sight I would rather do without.

Cos I simply detest the cold, matter-of-factly tone of voice that comes out naturally as a shield to put the guards up.

And the next time, I would remind myself to put on a mask devoid of emotions and opinions.

Pandora’s box.

I can pretend to be confident, really. If you want me to.

But that doesn’t mean I have to think the way I act.

***

The pig woke up and woke me up together with him when he called.

And he made me become his alarm clock for him(!!) as he went back to nap for a little while more.

%#$!#%!#

And me? My sleep was disturbed and I couldn’t fall back to sleep again.

Grr…

***

Met up with SBB late on Wednesday night.

He was amused with my fluctuating weight, and that I could lose that much in a matter of days.

Water retention, I say.

Must be.

Muahahaha.

So you see, I am not fat. When you see I am a tad fleshier, I am actually having, water-retention.

***

As always, I don’t know why, I elbowed him in the face, AGAIN.

I can’t remember a time he stays over that I don’t hit him in the face or accidentally poke him in the eyes or something.

The evil one had something sly up his sleeves.

I knew it when he cheekily displayed his selfishness, and left me slightly frustrated.

His rules.

Ultimate evilness.

Fortunately, his plans didn’t work out well as planned.

Lalalalalala.

***

We took a walk in the quiet night to the nearby petrol kiosk to get some food.

The night wasn’t as chilly as earlier on, when I walked out to get some food by myself.

It was the same route.

Most of the time, we were fighting to get our hand on the front of the other’s.

Once, at Jurong Point, he came up with the warped theory that, perhaps if a guy’s hand(the wrist), which is holding the girl’s hand, is overlapped on top/the front of the girl’s, it would show his authority, and that he is leading. Otherwise, it would mean he is henpecked.

I rolled my eyes 360 degree at the theory.

Yet, I realise, very naturally, my hand is always overlapped on the top, and I would leave up our hands to show him with a smirk, and he would fight to throw my hand off his, so he could grab my hand in the ‘right’ position.

Duh.

And I had to fight his hand cos he threatened to lift my skirt as we walked past the security guards.

Duh.

Tsk tsk. That’s low, sweets.

***

We playfully skipped around the petrol kiosk as we browsed for stuff to buy.

Planting sudden, mischievous smackers on each other’s cheeks occasionally.

***

Packed a few puffs from Delifrance before we sat by the pool.

The poolside is pretty, I have never realised.

With the sweet lights of Christmas litting the night, and slight swish from the trickling water from the pool.

I exclaimed with delight when I saw the Christmas tree erected there.

You like the blue lights right?

Yeap! How you know?

Cos, without the blue lights, it it just any other Christmas tree what.

Bleah.

I thought I would anticipate some romantic answers or something.

We played with the pussy that followed us as we sat down, and the very kind-hearted SBB fed the kitty with some of his food.

The kitty rejected the very sinful chocolate donut from me though.

The air was still.

It was actually very relaxing and comfortable to just sit beneath the sky, by the poolside.

It has some sort of… hypnotic effects.

***

Reached back to prepare for showers.

However we were held up slightly.

By the time we finally lie down in bed, it was almost 6.

The bickers, the childish fights and tickles ended, as he threw a duvet over me, and I felt the cosiness of my bed enticing me for some good sleep.

I chose my side of bed by sleeping on the pillow on the right, yet stretch my legs across to the left.

And the horrid man had to grab my feet and tickle the hell outta them.

I swear I could have kicked him just to get myself out of the situation.

I suffered a bruised wrist when he was restraining me in some way(no, it wasn’t anything kinky, honest!), and my yelping in pain was the only saving grace.

He released me, and I sulked.

He picked up my left wrist and planted smooches on them.

I took my wrist back, and it still hurt a little. And instinctively, as if learning a cue from him, I picked up wrist and plant a kiss on it with childish glee, and it worked well enough for me to smile.

As I lowered my wrist, he picked it up again, gently this time, and tenderly pressed a lingering touch on it.

So sweet.

***

He gathered me into his warm bosom and I rested snugly on his shoulder.

His cuddle was firm and tight.

Am I still cuddly?

Yeap.

Damn. That means I am not losing enough weight.

***

I thought you are not meeting me today?

Uh huh.

Why sudden change of plans?

Don’t know.

Why don’t know?

Sleep, sweetie.

Don’t want. Whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy? Hahaha.

You want me to tickle you again huh?

No. Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?

He pounced up and grabbed my feet again as I put up a vehement fight against the evil one.

***

Hmphf. I shall not give in to violence. Why sweetie?

He stayed silent for a while. I pressed again.

Why sweetie?

Nothing.

Where got nothing one? Tell me… Why you so evasive one?

Don’t know.

Hmphf.

I turned away, and he stretched out his arms to grab me by the waist to pull me back close into his embrace.

That feeling was kinda nice.

I turned back and continued the irritating interrogation.

I know! Must be horny right? Muahaha.

Hahaha, ya, ya, ya.

He was laughing as he gave the answer. Still not satisfied, I pressed again.

He refused to give in, and I decided to bring it up myself…

Actually, is it because you felt bad about this morning? You don’t have to, you know? Really.

He didn’t quite answer.

I sprung a kiss on his cheek, Thanks sweetie, I’m sorry about what happened, and thanks for being so sweet, again.

Hmm, really, you don’t have to, just because you feel obliged to, or the guilt in you.

Unless you are saying you ahem, miss me, then it’s a different story. Muahahahaha.

***

I tried to stay awake this time, alright?

And I did manage to stay up longer than the previous time, instead of snoring immediately in his arms.

***

I sat up and took a peek at my phone.

7.30am.

Huh? Only an hour’s of sleep?

He was already awake, too.

The 2 of us felt as if we had slept for 8 hours, without an ounce of tiredness, and were immensely alert.

We checked the other phone to make sure we didn’t get the time wrong.

We ended up bickering and he started to make a grab for my feet again.

Evil.

There was a part he stole my baby pillow, cos he insisted that I didn’t need it since I don’t hug it when he is around.

It was then, when he saw Janise’s MSN window open on my monitor, and he snuck a peek at it.

I panicked and pulled him away from the computer, and tried to cover his eyes.

In my desperate bid, I tore his glasses from his face.

He tried to restrain me again, and I struggled out of his firm grip and managed to press the ESC key.

YAY.

I am smart.

Ting won.

There was this part when the tickling got a bit too much, and we both ended up falling onto the floor.

So silly.

Muahahaha.

The silly boy slammed me back on the bed by force.

This is what bored people do when they couldn’t get back to sleep.

I sat by the side of the bed, breathless(no, no, no, we didn’t have any hanky-panky, alright? Honest!), and I suddenly recall it was the very same position I was sitting and someone snuck in a kiss just because he thinks ‘the lips very inviting’ some few months back.

When the adrenalin died down, it’s trigger-happy time.

Why do I think I am getting too much sun these days huh?

When he was using the computer:

And yeap, that’s the side of the shoulder I always fall asleep on. Muahaha.

I set high contrast and he is still so darn fair.

Freak!

Oh well, yet more pictures of yours truly without makeup, in ghastly shade of pale.

I wonder who is paler though.

Tsk tsk.

It’s his arm in the picture, not mine.

***

There was this part when we were bickering yet again, and he made a comment about me which I couldn’t quite remember what it was.

Which of course, was one of those kiddish bickers, and bantering.

In my feeble attempt to rebutt him, I have no idea where it came from, I actually said, ‘You.. you.. you… Coca Cola calling Pepsi black.’

He looked at me incredulously, and asked, ‘Sweetie, are you hanging out too much with those friends of yours(he read about how lame they were in my blog)?? You are becoming lame, too!‘

He gave a real hearty laugh and went to grab himself a drink in the kitchen.

Grr…

***

By 11.30am, I was getting really comfortable in his arms and was gradually falling asleep.

He left, and I tucked myself snugly under the duvet for a good 7 and half hours of sleep.

He called when he was out for lunch, and I was in a delirious state that I couldn’t quite remember what he said.

Maybe something like he didn’t manage to find the beef rice burger I was talking about.

Hmm.. weird.

I went back to sleep.

***

So, everyone is curious how SBB looks like, no?

Now, I shall present to you… SBB……..

NOT!

Yes. Yes. From the lips, you might have made out that it was indeed, yours truly.

Am I cool, handsome, suave, cute, good looking or what?!

And yes, the secret is thus out.

I had surgery done to remove my little dickie, and I am indeed, borned a male.

Thus, I look like a tranny like someone had said in the tagboard.

Boohoohoo.

Muahahahaha.

But seriously. Gosh, I am such a threat to men if I am born a male!

I even more handsome than SBB, okay?

Leaner, too.

And I was tanned, alright?

And the defiance in my eyes, is evident.

Seriously, of all pictures from the past, I adore the ones of me looking like a boy the best.

I mean, compare to those below, everyone can understand perfectly well, why so.

Hong Kong, with Mum.

This picture is ha-ha-ha funny.

It was when I was 14, taken when I was at the Institute of Mental Health.

Um, no, I wasn’t there for any stay or such.

In fact, I was there with The Professional and another classmate of ours, for a Science project.

It was the reason why I got myself a voice recorder, still working, and sitting somewhere in my room.

I don’t know why, but I laughed at how I stood there, and my face is invisible to all. It looks like I am some kind of patient being interviewed anonymously or something.

O Gosh. Please, please, please, don’t ever put this picture on the front of my hearse. I swear I would spring up from my coffin and tear it up.

New Zealand is beautiful, but can someone just push this freak down the hill or something?

I had to turn my head away, so the little goatie wouldn’t lose its appetite.

And yes, KAP MacDonald’s toilet.

Another memory of KAP, just days before I was supposed to fly off…

With Jiali.

I barely knew her for a couple of months then, but back then, I already knew, I would make her my buddy for the rest of my life.

My classmates from River Valley.

Woops. This is what you get, when you have a bunch of History students. Hurhurhur.

Screwed up brains.

Very screwed up brains, I might add.

I think I am starting to make sense why I wanna return to London. I wanna correct all the fashion booboos I had made in the past.

*Cringe in disgust*

Since I left my trace in Paris, I should go there looking all chic to erase all the shame and embarrassment from years before.

Seems like I had developed the habit of sulking and pouting very far back.

Where are my boobs huh?

One of the most fun things ever during my stay there. A barbeque withmy schoolmates.

The pity is, besides Howe Szuan in the background(2nd from left), I am no longer in contact with anyone of them in the picture, anymore.

I would love to re-establish contact with them, really.

Me and Tiffany in Blue Lagoon restaurant. Disneyland, Paris. And yes, my butch nature was still very much etched in me back then.

Me and my housemate, Evon.

England expects every man to do his duty.

And I have no idea why did we climb up there just to show how Jackie Chan would never choose us to star in his movies.

That is Eugene, someone I had only met once there. Evon and I brought him around, and took some pictures for him.

Since then, we lost contact of him.

No, it is not because I kicked him down Nelson’s column at Trafalgar Square, and that I won him in our Kung-Fu fight.

I remember he stays somewhere in Bukit Batok, and is a real smart guy.

The road was closed.

Silly people.

It snowed, one day, in April.

Me in my night dress, with a thin cardigan. Madness!

My only Caucasian crush, ever. My classmate from Biology class. Austen or something. This picture doesn’t do him justice, really.

International evening, it was. My very nice pal, Mumin, from Sudan.

We had since lost contact too.

He once firelifted me from the field, cos I was trying to tackle him for the ball during a game of soccer. Hahahaha.
My last day in London. I was heading to London to watch Jackie Cheung in concert, and bumped into Mumin and some classmates at the train station.

Knowing it would be the last time I see them.. it was quite emotional.

This shows that you should never get drunk when you are over at Ting’s place.

Shihao and I. I lost contact with him, too!
An acquaintance. My memory of him is fading fast as well.
When I got back from UK, my face was pretty flat, and yikes.

This was during Hwachong prom, which I crashed, without even paying for it(Shh…).

I thought it was cute how I found a few scattered pictures of me and people whom I barely know.

And yes, the last picture of the awfully sweet girl, which you probably would recognise, is now a popular DJ with a local station.

And the quaint thing about the series of picture is… hmm, oh well.

Oh, and the injury to my leg when I got involved in a road accident that left me permanently scarred.

Hurhurhur.

Great.

It’s already 3.

I wonder how am I gonna survive tonight.

And I sincerely wish everyone will sleep well after the gross pictures of my younger days.

It is never my intention to cause such extreme trauma and mental disturbances to you.

Sleep well, all.

And its joy.

I am very happy these few days, and I am not sure if there are some things I had already came to terms with.

But all’s well, and I am looking forward to 2006 with abundant optimism.

Whee!

***

I have just graduated from the world-renown college, University of Toa Payoh, the Faculty of Social Sciences, with a PhD in Psychology of the Twisted Minds – Discernment of Acute Lameness and Terminal Corniness over the weekend.

The intensive course, revision and examinations had exhausted me to the max.

Professor Kelvin Tan, Professor Nicholas Tang and Professor Roy Tan had drove me to the brink of insanity heights of erudition with their professional insights to the Philosophy of warped humour.

Associate Professor VampTreSS Q, who has worked closely with the above mentioned deans for 13 years, had kindly imparted her proficiency of Filtering through the Crap to me, which complemented the core course impeccably. Thus, I graduated with a diploma in Crap Filtering to top off the prestigious degree conferred on me.

Her accumulated studies over the years, with the indepth researches done with fellow professors, were rewarded with the birth of the theory to Twats Management, which made the course perspicuous.

Rule of thumb – Gauge everything with a 10% scale. Believe in only 10% of what was said.

My eyes were either constantly rolling or narrowing with contempt whenever lectures and case-study were conducted. And after 30 hours of mugging and sleep deprivation, my efforts were well paid off.

I hereby would like to thank the above-mentioned academicians for their ruthless jibings relentless patience when dealing with a student with learning disability like me.

Yesh, my learning disability is what is widely known as -cough- intelligence, and the occasional gullibility.

The convocation was held at the University of Toa Payoh last Saturday, with an overwhelming attendance of 11 people.

***

12 December.

He needs to be reminded of tonight.

Tonight, he had seen more clearly than before.

He needs to do his examinations.

He needs to run away from here, and he needs to leave.

And yes baby, if you are reading this right now, be reminded, again.

Go to somewhere where your heart is, and perhaps only then, you know who you truly are.

I wish you… abundant of blessings.

***

He is a pipe dream, isn’t he? It wasn’t a question. He remarked as he ask of the favour.

Uh huh, indeed.

Don’t we all wish we are younger?

But, we could all look beyond that. I learnt that today, when a sudden revelation hit me.

And ironically, that song by David Tao is randomly playing on the MP3 again.

Do be reminded again, you will get there, in another year’s time.

Soon, baby, soon.

Hang in there.

***

Time is 4am, and I doubt I would be able to sleep anytime soon. Not with the horrendous amount of sleep I accumulated since last evening.

I only slept for 4 hours on Friday night. Or more accurately, Saturday’s 11.30am to 4pm.

Since then, I was awake till 7pm of Sunday. Hyperactively, I might add. And I slept for 2 hours, drifting in and out of consciousness, covered in a coat of sweat, before waking up at 9 plus.

Deprivation of sleep + 27 hours of uninterfered perkiness.

I got home right at midnight last night, feeling a surreal influx of adrenalin, that had kept me awake for most of the day before.

My brain was working on a hyper-overdrive, and couldn’t seem to slow down nor rest itself.

I should be darn tired, but I just couldn’t find enough exhaustion within me to fall asleep. I finally fell asleep at 2.45am, with my brain still very much on alert-mode. I could feel my body giving in to the fatigue, but I was 3/4 conscious and aware of my surroundings, that caused much discomfort as my body engulfed in an internal battle with the obstinate mind, each wanting its own way.

I woke up at 10.40am, when some mortgage banker from Standard Chartered called up, looking for Dad.

A cold call, I supposed.

I replied in gibberish and he gave up. He should be glad that I didn’t chew his head off from my blissfully fulfilling sleep.

I sat up at my computer and saw SBB online, and we spoke on the phone for an hour plus, most of which I was in a state of trance, before I headed back to sleep at 12pm.

1.45pm, and the shrill from the house phone woke me up once again. I reluctantly reached out for it and the darn phone stopped ringing.

My handphone beeped ever so softly, and it was SBB.

I was still in a state of delirium, and the phone dropped, and bounced off the floor when I was talking on it while lying down.

Don’t ask me how did I manage such a great stunt, cos I seriously have no idea.

***

Ouch. OUCHIE.

What did you do, Sweetie?

Nothing. *whimper whimper*

So what silly thing did you do this time?

I flicked my duvet up, and the handphone flew up into midair, I was lying there, and the phone fell onto my throat and my collar bone. Damn, does it hurt.

Why didn’t you move away?

(Actually, the truth is I was too lazy and too slow to move away) I did cringe slightly.. it was supposed to land on my chest, and it ended up on my throat. Bleah.

So brilliant.

But.. but.. but…

***

Was catching up on some topics of irrelevancy.

-In high, sardonic pitch- Oh guess what sweetie, you are my new-found best friend! Hurhurhur. -dry, evil laughs-

Of course, when I said that, I am up to no good.

Hmm, I thought I am your lover, when did the status change to best friend?

When Christmas is round the corner, perhaps? *GRIN*

***

Yadda, yadda, yadda. Topic was brought to blogging.

Am I very different from my blog persona?

Somehow, the 2 don’t seem to go together for me.

Hmm, why so?

No conclusive answer.

A while later…

Tsk. You should be honoured that you are the only one I ever left comment for on blogs.

Oh really?

Yeap. I never did comment on anyone’s blog. Period.

I am sooooooooo honoured. Duh.

Ya, you should be what.

Eeee yer. Darn egoistic.

Sweetie, you said you would give me the password by the end of this month.

I caught the ruse almost immediately.

No! I didn’t. I so, so, so, so wouldn’t say such a thing.

You did! You promised, he insisted with babyish righteousness.

No, I didn’t. I promised I would give it to you some day, but not when! Tell you what, I will give you the password in exchange for another 30……

Shh, I won’t tell you what was that I asked for.

Hurhurhur.

***

2 hours later, when the phone call ended, I was eager to jump him back into the duvet to grab another fraction of rest, but it was barely 2 minutes when I shut my eye, and after SBB had hung up, that my handphone beeped again.

It was Eileen.

She called to ask if I was around, and that they were on their way home from Tuas, and might drop by. With baby Rene(Jiayu).

Yippee.

I scrapped my plans for a short nap, and crawled up from my bed.

Dave, Eileen and the baby reached shortly after.

I learnt how pampered the little princess is. In fact, she is never short of affections, and that the moment she is rested on the bed, or whoever is holding her is sitting down, she will start to yell and bawl in protest.

Apparently, she would only be appeased when someone carries her, and he/she has to constantly walk around with her in his/her arms.

So when they put her down on my bed to change her soiled nappy, the signs of irritation sprung up almost immediately.

Furrowed brows, wrinkled nose, and the face scrunch into a look of misery as if my bed was a nailbed instead.

I started chiding them for spoiling their daughter a tad too much, and they shouldn’t have given in to her demands whenever she wails or cries. Cos, that is the precise reason why she is highly pampered now, and wants everything her way.

Tsk tsk.

Her cryings didn’t stop, and apparently she wanted her milk.

And I fed her.

Um, no, not breast feed, thank you.

I awed myself when I realised how I, who never quite have any experiences in taking care of newborns was almost a natural when Eileen passed Rene into my arms.

I didn’t even display any usual signs of clumsiness when I sat her up after popping the nipple of the milkbottle into her mouth skillfully, propped her neck onto my hand, and burped her.

It was almost too natural.

The 2 cursed that it shall be my turn next, and I touched and caressed all the wooden stuff in sight.

I am thankful that they have yet to acquire the jinxed mouth, like I do.

I thought it made more sense when they said I could probably become a part time babysitter or some sort.

They had even wanted to bring me home to bathe their baby.

Heh, the picture is a tad too blurred.
Frontal profile + no makeup + camera’s flash = eye bags, flat nose, is too scary.

Look at the precious darling in my arms.

The moment she finished her milk, she threw a tantrum to show that she didn’t want to be burped. And the one who had just chided the parents, immediately stood up to bring the baby for a walk around the house, coaxing her with all the tender loving care I could muster.

The parents shot me 2 pairs of rolled eyes when I didn’t heed what I had preached to them, spoiling Rene further.

Her bright eyes closed and she quietened down to sleep.

The moment I sat down after much coaxing and walking, convinced that she was asleep, she immediately could sense that I wasn’t walking, and opened her eyes, contorting her face into a picture of misery, and burst into fresh wails.

It was then, I started swaying my body while talking to her parents, to bluff her into thinking that I was indeed standing up and walking.

Muahahaha.

I am such a cheater. Apparently Eileen had said that when she does that, it didn’t quite work on Rene. But I was such a professional bluffer that she slept on well, only opened her eyes, giving me a threatening stare of protest, and I would start swaying with her in my arms again, so that she wouldn’t start wailing again.

They left shortly after, and didn’t stay for long.

I crept back into the bed by 5.20pm, and the next time I opened my eyes, the horror struck me.

It was 9.30pm.

Darn.

No wonder I am still blogging at such twisted hours.

***

It was 4 in the afternoon on Saturday.

Someone was scheduled to browse the apartment, and dad was home.

I got up, showered and such, and the property agent was late. She was only here with the prospective buyers at 5pm.

Headed out with Dad for dinner. And subsequently, he dropped me at a bus stop before heading back to Malaysia.

Didn’t manage to down much for dinner, and I realise how poor my appetite has been these days.

Took a bus to Holland Village, darn proud of myself that I didn’t succumb to a cab.

It was 7 when I reached Holland Village, and I went to the 2nd hand bookshop to grab myself a read, and holed up there till the shop closed.

Took a walk down the stretch of bustling street with a brisk pace, enjoying the evening by myself.

Saw the ever-friendly waitress at T.C.C., and popped in to say hi.

The utter sweetheart deserves a mention here.

She invited me in for desserts since I was roaming aimlessly alone, and insisted that it would be on the house.

I could choose between a pot of tea, or a dessert.

Can you imagine that the chocolate fanatic in me actually rejected the offer cos I really didn’t have the appetite to eat or drink anything else?

So sweet of her, isn’t it?

When I declined, and said that I should make a move, she asked if I had applied for the T.C.C. card yet, which I didn’t cos I had discarded most of my receipts.

She immediately took a form for me to fill on the spot, and offered me the membership card.

She is so brilliant that she litted my slow-paced Saturday night.

I waved goodbye to her, and promised that I would be back before Christmas.

***

I dropped by Essential Brews to say hi to Hongsheng, and met his girlfriend for the very first time, and she reminded me so much of Jayaxe‘s So Cute.

After a few verification questions, I was glad they weren’t the same person. Hahahaha.

She is such a sweetheart too. Shortly after I sat down, she got me a glass of kiwi smoothie tea. I gasped in utter amazement when she told me she is 19. Didn’t know Hongsheng has become a paedophile. Tsk tsk.

Had quite a long talk with them before I left to meet up with VampTreSS at slightly past 9.

***

I then took a cab to Killiney to meet up with VampTreSS who was already waiting there, and we headed down to Toa Payoh together, to Nick’s place.

The arrangement was that we would meet up for a movie marathon, and the supposed turn up was 3. Vamp, Nick and me.

We got there earlier, and sat at the coffee shop beneath his place cos he was still out.

The air was pretty chilly for the night.

Shortly after, we were told that Kelvin would be joining us, their friend, Ah Boon, would be joining us too, and Roy would be joining us later, too.

Whee. The more the merrier.

As we were waiting for VampTreSS’ food order, we saw an incredibly adorable feline.

Darn gorgeous, I tell you.

I was once told how if a person who adores cat, that would say something about his character.

I was never a fan of cats, until this year, and I wonder if it was due to a change in character or something. Heh.

The little darling’s side profile.

And I shall dedicate these pictures to Lingshen, who experienced a recent heartache after his mum(yes, I agree with his conspiracy theory actually) plotted for the adopted cat’s sudden disappearance.
An upclose look of the cuteness of this little being. Look at the cow-like patches on its limbs!

Awww…. and the gentle, innocent eyes.

***

It was Godfather Trilogy night.

I have never watched the film before in my entire life.

Nick had planned for the DVD marathon, which was estimated to last more than 10 hours, since each movie would be around 3 and half hours, after he had read the book which I had recently passed him.

I heart, heart, heart Mario Puzo’s writing.

Apparently, Nick fell for the book as well, and we had vaguely planned to watch the movie(since Miss Ting has never watched the show before) last week, but had to postpone the arrangement cos he was down with a bad flu.

Shortly after, Ah Boon joined us, Ferris and Shulin turned up as well, and Kelvin reached just in time for the beginning of the show.

Nick let us tried some of the pasta Serene cooked, and it was utterly brilliant. But my lack of appetite meant that I took little of it.

Max and Bibi reached halfway through the show, and left before it was finished. Roy then joined, and Joo Yau was the last to reach, and stayed till the end of the show.

Toa Payoh Cinema.

Nick was being irritating(yes, you were) by discussing much of the show, when some of them have never watched the show before. Spoilers are NOT fun!!!

Though I shall admit that the movie followed the book pretty closely. But, the book gives room for more vivid imagination, as well as more space for the plot to develop, and I find myself enjoying the book more than the movie.

I especially like the part in the book when the author built up to Santino’s death. I was quite shaken when I read it, and actually teared. But the movie didn’t have the shock factor as much as the book.

And perhaps because my mind had directed its own version of the movie, and the sorrow from Don Vito Corleone wasn’t as chilling as the one in my mind.

Nonetheless, the movie is indeed, good. No wonder so many people claim it to be their favourite film of all time.

Halfway through the movie, Nick gave us some odd facts that we realised were a truckload of bullshit.

When he tried to convince others that why did Michael Corleone regained his good looks eventually was because his wife insisted he go for surgery to correct it, or else he wouldn’t want to do so, everyone thought he was in one of his lame moods again.

I giggled, cos I know what he had said was true.

It was then we realised how ugly Lucy Mancini was in the show, and Santino’s wife, Sandra, was so much more gorgeous, and everyone found it illogical that he would fall for her.

He then spoke of how the reason is because Santino is known for having a gigantic manhood, and Lucy has a huge you-know-what to accomodate him.

He was greeted with ‘Yeah, right‘ and ‘stop bullshitting‘, and I was giggling yet again.

The crap he had given earlier on had made everyone believe in him no more. And he would point to me and said, ‘Don’t believe, you ask her!‘, which I would nod and responded how it is indeed in the book.

With friends like this, you need a very good filter, to filtrate which are the nonsense, and which are facts.

And now, I know the exact reason why Al Pacino and Robert De Niro are so HHHOOOOTTTTT. Cos they were indeed freaking drop-dead gorgeously sexy when they were younger.

Ooooooo.

And when they spoke in Italian in the movie….

OH.MY.GOD.

***

By the time the first movie finished, it was already 2, Ferris, Shulin and Joo Yau decided to adjourn elsewhere.

Joo Yau did agree that the movie was crap, and the book is way better. Comparatively, I am sure.

And the 2nd DVD was popped into the player.

Shortly into the film, my lack of rest overwhelmed me, and I fell asleep for 15 minutes.

I was told that I didn’t snore at all, except for the deep breathing.

I told SBB how I didn’t snore despite being so tired, and how it is odd that he always insist that I snore when he is around.

Now, I know why they branded 15 minutes of nap as powernap.

It was indeed powerful.

So powerful that I think the rule should be that everyone require not 8 hours of sleep, but 15 minutes, a day.

After that 15 minutes, I carried with the less than impressive 2nd instalment of the trilogy with full attention, and felt the same chill and disappointment when Michael divorced Kay, and eventually ordered the killing of his wussy 2nd brother.

I actually liked Fredo’s character in the movie than the book.

Eventually, before the film ended at 5am, and I went into a hyperactive mode, jumping around, pacing up and down the hall, and looking for food.

We thought we saw the sky as misty, only to realise that it was raining across the road, but the rain had yet to hit this part of Toa Payoh yet.

The studious Ting.

Nerdy nerdy nerd nerd!

Oh, compare this to the picture I found in Roy’s phone(tsk tsk. I joked that he must be secretly in love with me cos I found it in his phone and he didn’t send it to me!)

The night at New Asia bars on Dexter’s birthday.

Make up does wonders, doesn’t it?

The night view from his open balcony. So nice right? I also want to move to Toa Payoh.

(Dad had thought of moving to Jurong West and I gave him the most vicious stare ever, saying that Jurong is isolated enough, and Jurong West is even more so!)

Shortly after the picture was taken, the rain hit us, and turned the night into a cosy, enclosed one, as we scrambled to close the windows.

SBB called at a very apt timing, just after the 2nd film’s credits rolled, and I was checking my mail on Nick’s computer.

I holed up in his room and chatted on the phone for a while before venturing into the hall to find a mess of people strewn across the couch/floor.

‘I…. see…. dead… people…’

Since I was still darn energetic… I annoyed the hell out of them by posing with them for a picture.

One of the sole survivors of the night.

The 3 awake ones were bored, and we started playing with the sunglasses found on the table.

I learnt why people who didn’t sleep well or put on makeup worship sunglasses.

Look at this, at 5.40am in the morning, without makeup, without sufficient sleep, and in an absolute fatigue state.

Wah! I shall now be a fan of sunglasses. Can someone buy me such retro looking ones for Christmas? Very much appreciated! Hehehehe.

Even with flash it still exudes such glam-factor!

Ah Boon seems to carry the retro look darn well!

Nick showed us the right way to don a pair of sunglasses. We should be giving a menacing scowl to look cool.

The epitome of narcissism and absolute boredom.

Then, I tried on another pair of funky retro sunglasses, which I thought look fine too! Can you imagine we sat around the table till 6.30am, just to play around with the sunglasses?

I was bored enough to lit a ciggie but found the taste absolutely repulsive, and started coughing. Um, gee. And I almost forgot how to inhale. So I didn’t manage to finish it either.

We sat around, bored, and went into Nick’s room, leaving the 3 corpses lying there.

So they decided to upload Roy’s snoring clip, and I decided to be narcisstic yet again. Alas, the fan made a mess outta my hair.

It was 6.40 in the morning. And I realised how my face slimmed down a little. Muahahaha.

It was then I joked that we should be playing mahjong or something, and Nick said that he has a set of mahjong lying around.

We decided the others were too dead to join us, and settled for a 3-persons game instead.

And since the others were outside, we decided to play on the bed instead.

Ah Boon was the newbie at the game, and we had to be extremely patient whilst waiting for him, but he actually won big a couple of times round.

Tsk tsk.

Our stakes were really small, 5 cents – 10 cents.

I lost heavily in the beginning, and joked that the winner shall treat breakfast.

I think the conspiracy soon came up. I kept winning the the guys kept losing.

Eventually I wrapped the game up at 11am in the morning, with 9 dollars of winnings, which was rather impressive with the small stakes.

And yes, I lost them promptly when the rest woke up around 12noon, and headed down to the hawker centre for breakfast.

Strangely, I wasn’t in a daze at all, and I was even alert enough to catch the gibes and tauntings coming through.

Gee.

Eventually, we sat around in Nick’s place thinking of where to go, what to do, and I thought I should be returning home before I was too tired and lazy to go back that I would rely on the cab.
They managed to convince me to stay, and declared that I was abducted for the day, and I could only leave when they called it a day.

!!!!!!

Kidnap!

Death sentence-able, you know?

But they were kind enough to offer me dinner and cab fare home, which I took up neither.

We were then into a mode of endless chatters, which some were pretty lame, and some were pretty insightful.

They then launched into a lame mode to wind me up by saying they had said something me and sent it to my email.

Silly me actually walked up to the computer to want to check my mail and the guys burst into chains of laughter.

And they started saying I am gullible.

Hello? I am not gullible, I am just a trusting person, alright? Hurhurhur.

(Whee, raining heavily out there right now, and it is such a blurred sight out there. Tip-tap, tip-tap on my window. So nice!)

Nick then brought up how I had asked him out of all the people I have met or haven’t met in the group, who is most likely to be the person I would get along with.

His answer came as a surprise, cos it was someone I haven’t quite had the chance to interact with the group, and I seriously do not know what kind of chemistry(or perhaps, the lack of) I would have with her.

He said since I adore girls who ride, I most probably would like her.

He then told the group that he thought I would get along well with Mindy, whom I had met briefly, only once, on Vamp’s birthday, with minimal interaction. Or quite a shame, almost none.

VampTreSS thought otherwise, and thought that I would get along with Kelvin’s girlfriend, Michelle, whom I have never met before. I curiously pressed on to ask why, and interrogated Kelvin why he had never brought his girlfriend out.

I saw this sneaky, cheeky exchange of glances, and odd stifling of smirks between Vamp and Nick when I said that, and I grew suspicious. Hahahahaha.

I was curious why the group thought that I would get along with the girls better, cos from experience, girls normally would hate my guts(or the lack of) more than anything else.

The group decided to wind me up by saying I am stupid/bimbotic, and out of nowhere, said that, ‘You are like Brian, you know?‘

For a moment, I wondered why. Then the realisation hit me when they started labelling him the himbo, and the stupid one of the group(or rather, act-stupid).

So when I said something lame, or didn’t sound too bright, they would launch into a ‘You are so Brian‘ sort of attack, where I will protest vehemently cos I didn’t want to be labelled stupid.

Then I just went into (since they say he is stupid, I don’t think he will read blogs, right? Hurhur) I-don’t-want-to-be-in-the-same-league-as-someone-you-guys-deem-as-stupid.

I started questioning if they think that I am act-cool, clumsy, stupid, bimbotic, or such, and they turned the table around and accused me of thinking of such of Brian.

………………

Eventually, it was forced-to-tell-the-truth time about my opinion about the one who was used by them to wind me up.

I have nothing against gayish metrosexual stupid act cool Brian seriously. Though I did admit I thought he was a tad act cool, er, act(yes, core word is act) stupid, but still, seems like a not-as-cool, and deeper person than he really is.

Just a casual observation from the first couple of times I met him.

Then, Nick decided that I would get along the best with Brian cos our frequency is low down there, and we are most likely to click since we are equally lame.

Hello?!

Muahaha, we then decided that Brian must be sneezing non-stop somewhere out there throughout Sunday afternoon.

I think they are just jealous of my good looks(*cough* What good looks?) when they said that.

Ah well. I forgive them.

***

They kept me in suspense of this talk they had of me some couple of months ago, at Roy’s place.

Kelvin, Nick, Mindy, Roy and Brian were present.

After constant pressing and after the jitters made me find fagging like the most natural thing to do, they ended the agony of keeping me in suspense(suspense kills me more than truth, actually).

It was a night where I heard, it was someone’s *cough* mood swing that prompted the discussion.

Apparently they had wondered if I was a bad influence on Vamp, or if my presence was pulling her away.

Eventually, three votes to two.

Three said no. Two thought otherwise.

Bleah, and I got myself jittery for no reason cos they had used it to wind me up, and see me getting all curious and exasperated to know the truth.

SO LAME.

Ironically, that was the period of time I saw the least of VampTreSS. How strange, eh? Heh.

***

They then scrutinise how broad and thick my….. no, not my lips, but, my tongue, is.

Roy then commented how it would be good for.. duh, blow jobs.

Then VampTreSS rolled her eyes and then said my lips themselves, are already made for such.

Great. Now I have the great tongue and lips combination.

I wouldn’t really know, would I?

***

There was this part when I was looking all stoned and slow, and said something lame, when Roy gibed, ‘Stop behaving like Brian.’

I sulked and asked, ‘Am I that bad? Or is Brian really that bad? Muahaha.‘

He then went into how Brian is actually not that bad, and he feels he has hidden intelligence. When I said that I thought he seemed to act-cool quite a bit, he started saying how most people in the group tend to act cool to those new to the group, and to the group, Mr metrosexual is never cool.

‘You are new and you don’t know him well, so you won’t see what we see him as, so we have never see him as cool.‘

So I decided to decipher that as I have hidden intelligence. Muahahaha.

And perhaps he meant that in the act-stupid sense as well, and then he said something which made me raised my brows, and eyed him with suspicion.

‘You should get to know him better,‘ he said, and I gave him a look of bemusement, cos he started launching into how I wouldn’t understand some stuff, and ended up confusing me further.

‘You need to f**k him, then you will know,’ he suggested.

‘Or else you won’t know him one,‘ he continued tenderly, looking out of the window into a far distance.

I froze for a moment and stared at him in disbelief.

‘HAR? Um, that is too much to do to know a person huh? Is that your personal experience? Muahahaha… Don’t tell me you……‘

I stifled a giggle, and wondered why did Roy know so much….

Now we know why Roy knows Brian well.

Maybe cos, Brian sucks well.

Hence, Roy’s look of ecstasy.

***

Okay, so eventually I realised what he meant by f**k, was more of lecturing Brian to his senses, in his face, when he does something silly.

I still thought… literally, you know?

***

They then asked me a series of psychological test questions, and asked me to think of a body of water.

I thought of mist.

I was then asked to use 3 words to describe.

I thought of mysterious.

Non-conforming, as in, it doesn’t conform to the norm.

And free. As in free-spirited, freedom.

I thought of the 4th word, which was everywhere, anywhere.

Eventually, they then revealed it was a question on how I view sex.

Of course, the response of free and everywhere was….. the butt of jokes again.

Of course, mine are not as powerful as Nick’s answers. Waterfall. Everlasting and on and on and on and on going strong. Muahaha.

***

We left the flat for a while around 5pm, whilst Nick grabbed some sleep.

I was hence, the last woman standing from the long night.

We went to Toa Payoh town central and believe it or not, that was my first ever trip to Toa Payoh.

We walked around and packed some dinner, and my lack of appetite bugged me further, and I decided to skip dinner.

We decided Nick is officially a jinx.

When he had wanted Kelvin to help him to withdraw money from his POSB account, we realised the bank had moved, and it was boarded up.

He had wanted to have Delifrance for dinner, and guess what? It was boarded up as well.

He had wanted Kelvin to help him to buy his usual brand of ciggie, but by the time we arrived back at his block, the provision shop at the ground floor, we closing up, and we had to drive out further to the petrol kiosk to get his fags for him.

Jinx, you are, NICK!

***

We strolled around NTUC Toa Payoh, and it wasn’t at all pleasant cos Roy lost $100, which he had just collected from Singapore Pools.

***

We finally left for Nick’s place again, and reached back around 6 plus.

I reposed on the couch, and slowly drifted into some thin sleep.

One thing about me is, I can’t sleep with fan, and in smokey places. I tend to fall sick when that happens.

And I have to have a blanket over me, however warm and hot the weather is.

And I ended up sweating non-stop and felt the couch sticking to my skin.

Throughout the 2 hours sleep, I was told, yet again, that I DID NOT SNORE!

Not even when I was dead tired or whatsoever.

So I really suspect if I really did snore when SBB is around.

Well, SBB insisted that I did, and justify by saying that he always relaxes me well enough, and maxes me out enough…

Duh.

Oh well.

But Kelvin said that I moaned(!!!) in my sleep, and asked what did I dream about.

I don’t moan in my sleep. Hello?!

Okay, fine. I mean, I do whine/purr a little when I sleep, which SBB verify that I do. Bleah.

Must be the weather too hot.

When I woke up, my hair and body was soaked in sweat, and it was incredibly uncomfortable.

Kelvin left after a slight while, and I stayed on till 11pm, before it got too late for me to venture home by public transport.

I walked to the bus stop, and was glad that there was a direct bus I could count on.

And I felt a tad sickly. I did something I would never do.

I bought myself a bottle of mineral water, and downed 600ml of it at one go.

I boarded the 157 at around 11.20pm, and was still energetic enough to stay awake throughout the ride.

I realised how Toa Payoh is so near to Jurong. Only 35 minutes of bus ride, and I was home.

I could smell how much odour I carried with me, no wonder no one sat beside me throughout the ride.

I am so proud of myself that I didn’t succumb to a cab ride. Yay.

I did myself proud, and I deserve a pat on the back.

But I did leave my lip balm before at Nick’s place, and my lips are cracking badly without it.

***

Spent a good deal of my Monday sleeping and recuperating, and I almost forgot I didn’t quite eat.

Strangely, my appetite is still at a low, and I didn’t even finish the instant noodle I cooked past midnight, which was supposed to be my first bite.

And now, looking at the time, I doubt I am see much of my Tuesday by the time I wake up.

Heh, but still, I will have some work to finish off when I wake up to greet my Tuesday with full force.

It felt like secondary school days all over again.

As if the end of year period is compulsary to have some sort of chalet, where we stayed up all night, playing mahjong, watching television and such, to see who has the best stamina to stay up throughout the night.

Cool.

***

Did I mention it was slightly strange when I met this guy whom I lost my first kiss to when I was 16?

He didn’t quite become my boyfriend cos I thought I was too young then(muahaha, yah, that was what I really thought), and I had someone else in my mind(oh yes, Mr KG, was in my mind when I was 16! So juvenile of me).

And he had placed such high importance on qualifications that his constant naggings of how important studies are, turned me off, bit by bit.

Okay, to be fair, I was a rebellious teen, so we had a great divide in our thoughts, and he was the nerdy, studious type.

Anyway, oh yeap, what was strange wasn’t meeting him, but to see him with his girlfriend.

Now, I wonder, would he tell her who I am?

Gee, gee, gee.

I never quite remember seeing nor aware that he has a girlfriend since 16, and am quite happy for him, really.

But then it’s odd.

That the past snuck up behind me, and I stuck out my tongue mischievously and went ‘WOOPS’ at the thought of the past, as it was the most embarrassing that ever happened to me.

By the way, did I mention I remember him as quite a good kisser despite it was his first kiss too?

Muahahaha.

Alright.

Enough of such.

Have a great start of the week, peeps.

Schni Schna Schnappi! Schnappi Schnappi Schnappi!

Yeap. I have intelligent friends who teach me the most brilliant stuff in life, making the smartest conversations with ample substance that would put rocket scientists to shame.

Wednesday night was scary.

The weather was scary.

***

It was 2am.

Where’s everybody?

I don’t like thunder.

*SULKS*

I don’t like lightning either.

*SULKS SULKS SULKS*

I just don’t like the suspense of something that takes me by surprise.

I got so jittery and fearful of the night that I jumped back into my room the moment I stepped out of it, because of the flickers and booms that came one after another.

I thought there isn’t any roof over me with the swooshing of the heavy rain, crackling of the sky, and howling of the wind oh-so aurally clear.

I dove right into my bed and sulked under the duvet.

I sulked so much that my frownlines are almost becoming permanent wrinkles.

I scrolled my MSN list and realised not a single soul was online.

Um, there was one. But he was on the plane(gee! Planes have wireless these days! How amazing!), and in his words, ‘running out of batteries and can’t recharge on the plane because lame plane has no outlets‘, and I lost the only alive person at such ungodly hour.

Darn the airline. They should have outlets if they are offering wireless.

And you know how bad the fear is when you palms are constantly wet, and you thought you are going to hyperventilate anytime soon.

Then you know it is REALLY bad, when you have a mental conversation with yourself, ‘I want to sulk!! And just push me any further and I will cry.‘

The sulking was really bad with the loud, fierce, hostile growls, which followed the consecutive blinding flashes that illuminated the entire room.

I wanted to sleep. But it unsettled me so much that I would get too nervous to have some proper rest.

I closed my eyes and indulged in some, um, rather provocative thoughts in the dark, that I was hoping would bring my attention to elsewhere.

But the repertoire of lightnings and intimidating thunders didn’t cease.

And then, the unexpected shrill from the house phone had to make me jump slightly again.

Did I mention that I don’t like the shock from nowhere?!

Okay.

Great, at least that means that there was still a single soul alive out there, and the comfort is very much welcomed.

God bless his soul.

***

Hello Sweetie!

Hello. What’s up.

People who know me will know that whenever I am tensed or jittery, I would sound unusually rigid, as if something is stuck up my arse, and that I am exceptionally snappish.

What are you doing?

Ummm.. Hmm… Um… Isn’t it raining over there?

Drizzling slightly, yah.

Argh. It’s thundering here, and there’s a constant flashes of lightning here. I am sulking real bad. I went into the living room to get a glass of water and got so scared that I ran back into my room, jumped into my bed and sulked, sulked, sulked!Hmphffffffffffff…….. *add in wails and whines*

I launched into a series of laments before he even got the chance to react, venting my snappishness(schni schna schnappi! schnappi schnappi schnappi!) in a chain of grumbles.

Awww.. so pooorrr thhhiiinnnnggg.

What?! Trying to be sarcastic is it? Grrr….

(Told ya I am snappish when I am nervous)

He laughed.

Can you imagine?! The heartless one actually laughed?!

I squirmed and squealed slightly when there was yet another flicker that illuminated the room, followed by a lagged, soft grunt.

I thought you are only afraid thunder?

No, I am afraid of lightning too. I am just a coward who is easily scared by the suspense of things that take me by surprise.

I answered with a wee bit of childish tantrum that wasn’t directing at him.

Oh, you mean something like my tongue?

Muahahaha. Yeap. And that too.

Yeah. Why else would I scramble under the duvet in utter, complete, downright shock, when he unexpectedly leaned in to make me lose a 2 bucks bet to Finicky Feline more than 4 months ago?

Not bad. At least I loosen up enough and was tickled by that comment.

Maybe the next time I need to take my minds off things.. I should…

As I continued on the sentence, my voice trailed off, as he suggested almost a tad too matter-of-factly, covering the last part of my sentence he had failed to hear, ‘Maybe the next time whenever you are fearful or when there is a storm, you could give yourself an orgasm to take your minds off things, and I am sure you will have a good sleep.‘

Fear + Thrill huh. Very funny.

I laughed at the suggestion.

Cos the exact part I had said and he had missed when he interrupted was, ‘…. I should perhaps indulge in some self-pleasure or something‘.

Great minds think alike huh.

Muahahaha.

Does it really take fear away?

Bleah.

I will tell you when it works.

***

Well, considering that you fell asleep within seconds in my arms on Monday morning….

What?! Did I doze off so quickly again?!

Yeah, the moment we lied down…

Gosh. What? I did that again? Tell me I didn’t snore…

Well, the usual, you know? Of course you did.

WHAT?! AGAIN? Why do I always snore when you around huh?! I got fall asleep so quickly huh???

What’s new, sweetie?

It must be a figment of your imagination. Maybe I never did snore, but you insist so. Damn. I shall never fall asleep before you do, again.

Um, sweetie, that was what you said the last time too.

&@%#^$!%#!

I am sure it doesn’t mean that you bored me to sleep everytime you are around.

***

The conversation went on for another 40 minutes, with the occasional squeals when I cringed to the sudden burst of lightning penetrating past the curtains.

Schni Schna Schnappi, Schnappi Schnappi Schnappi!

I crooned.

Darn. Someone just left a comment in my blog, right when I thought I had the song erased from my mind. Oh no…

What is that shee shaw shee shaw?

It is Schni Schna Schnappi!

I corrected him with child-like righteousness. And I launched into the song again. Gee.

Ahhh can somebody stop me!

He laughed.

It is as addictive as the Doraemon song, you know? Eh, good news is, this will be easier for you to learn.

Hahaha, is it? 如果我有玩具猫，我要叫它小叮当…..

I froze for a brief moment. Absolutely speechless.

OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD.

What?!

Where did you learn that from?

From you lah! Who else?

***

Rewind to Sunday. I was lying on my back, with him next to me, leaning on my flabby tummy, with his elbows propping him up.

Sweetie, how do you sing the Doraemon song again?

Hmmm, lemme think. It is 如果我有玩具猫，我要叫它小叮当…..

Wait wait.. repeat. What does it mean?

I repeat the lyrics with a passion only found in dedicated Chinese teachers. Ha!

It says, if I have a toy cat, I would name it Doraemon.

He mumbled something to himself, and muttered the lines, before launching into 2 sentences of awkward sounding Doraemon song with numerous breaks in between.

Well done! Not too bad.

Never did I know I have encouraged another freak, like me.

And to think he could mouth it so completely and wholesomely this time round!

Oh no! What kind of monster have I produced?

***

Uh-oh. What have I done?

He launched into replay mode. With the babyish, act-cute voice, no less.

如果我有玩具猫，我要叫它小叮当…..

Oh no. I am traumatised. Can you record it or something and send it over to me as a sound clip? Perhaps I can play it when I.. you know.. hahaha

I took a cue from the sound clip which the guys had deemed sounded like Japanese AV clip.

No! Don’t want! You will end up laughing so hard halfway through your business that the dildo will most probably fall out or something.

True, true.

Sorry people, for the brutally honest, explicitly frank transcript of the conversations.

Tsk tsk. You have heard nothing yet.

Went on to chat about nitty-gritties, before he did a little coaxing that I should hide myself under the duvet, throw a pillow over my eyes, so I could catch some sleep in the midst of all the lightnings and such.

I felt like a child(eeeeee, I am such a bum) with all the everything-will-be-alright-don’t-be-scared-okay–sweetie? talks with the mellowed, gentle voice.

Strange enough, the lightnings and thunders ceased the moment the phone went down onto its cradle.

Yay.

Peace at last.

***

Friday is yet another bland affair.

Just like any other Fridays.

Realise how I tend to shy away from dressing up and extensive travelling to town area on Fridays, when everyone would be meeting up, painting the town red and such.

I have got no life man.

Hit the sacks around 5am last night. Had wanted to wake up in the morning.

Imagine my horror when I realised it was 5.30pm when the delirium wore off.

I didn’t even realise, nor did it even feel like I had slept so much.

Must be the chain of weird dreams that drained me that much.

I realise a dreamful sleep is indeed tiring and exhausting.

The worst thing is to get emotionally involved with the dream.

I sat up from the bed after one of the dreams had ended. I remember how it was of my mum saying something like, ‘I had wanted to abort you, but your dad felt that it’s a life we are talking about, and we made the wrong decision of giving birth to you.’

When I sat up, the first impulse was to ball up and cry.

I pulled the duvet under me, cuddled my baby pillow tighter than before, and the fatigue overwhelmed me once again.

In my trance, I thought I reminded myself to call up my mum to ask her why did she do that. And that’s in reality.

Then, I sank back into deep sleep.

Strangely, the odd dream continued, with other people who had graced my life previously, taking on their cameo roles in my dream.

I am sure all weren’t pleasant. I sat up from my sleep again, feeling the awful dread in me.

It could have weighed down my entire day, with that leftover feeling.

I was concussed once again.

The dream continued itself. With someone, whom I feel extreme guilt towards, in it.

In the dream, I was running away from her accusing stares, as she pressed me for answers.

I didn’t like the dream and forced myself to wake up, feeling an incessant urge to bawl.

I fell back into deep slumber again.

And yes, the dream continued!

How freaky.

And yes, I think I dreamt about blog readers, and such too.

When it was 5.30pm, I got a rude shock and had to take a while to separate my dream state from reality.

And yet, oddly, the first dream with the scenerio of my mum, stayed.

I erased all the other scenes.

But yet, that one stays.

***

Felt a great urge to call mum.

Just to see how she is doing.

Knowing me, that is something I haven’t done, in years.

And I did, when I was walking down the neighbourhood later in the night.

No answer.

And a slight dejection rushed through me.

***

Spent some time working on the computer for the first few hours of my day.

Vamp, Roy and Nick called to say they were meeting up in town. Didn’t feel like heading to town, and just wanted to stay around west side area, and asked them to consider Holland Village instead.

A recluse, I am.

Alvin and Denise(hey babe, hope you are feeling better already *hug*) called, and they suggested a short round of mahjong(what’s new?).

Went out at around 9pm, and took an extensive walk around the quiet neighbourhood.

With the dream bugging me.

Not exactly the dream. But the residual feelings…

***

Eventually, I was duly informed that they had ventured down EAST instead of coming to WEST.

The audacity!

So I was left without a late-night program at 11 plus.

I even MSNed with the guys who were at East Coast MacDonald’s from Alvin’s computer. Next time they should get a webcam and I would feel that I was physically there with them.

Hurhurhur.

Alvin managed to get another friend to continue with the game, and the night dragged on till 3.30am.

20 bucks poorer.

Whee.

***

Finally slept at 5 plus, and greeted Thursday 1pm in the afternoon when a call from Denise came in.

She was down at the pool suntanning, and asked me to join her.

In my usual lazy fashion, I took some time to get out of bed, washed up, before changing into my bikini top to head to the pool.

I was barely in the scorching sun for 5 minutes, before I felt the sting in my skin.

One thing about me is, I have extremely sensitive skin, and I get burnt easier than tanned. Thus, I casually draped my top over my face to relieve the prickly rays.

Imagine my horror when I got back home 15 minutes later, to find that I had can-you-believe-it, sunburnt my nose!

5 minutes in the sun, only!

The redness was so distinctive that I would have been mistaken for Rudolph especially with Christmas closing in.

Bleah.

***

Saw the previous entry on his blog. Tapped on the phone.

Reply came swiftly. Operation was already over.

Ai yo, what happened?

Get well soon.

***

Met up with Denise again for lunch at the hawker centre nearby.

We were too lazy to get onto the train on a hot Thursday afternoon, and ended up succumbing to the cab instead.

Off to California Fitness, we went.

Yeap, you heard it right.

Ting went to the gym!!!!!!

Can you freaking believe it?

My first trip there in 4 years. I remember how I was at my slimmest, 43kg when I was last there, with the intention to gain some weight.

I was reminded by the staff that my membership is already 7 years-old.

Wow.

Now?

I weighed myself right after my (short)gym session yesterday, and I do not know whether to be pleased or devastated to announce that I am now 53kg.

Well, 2 kg below the 55kg I was few months back(well, the agency, SBB, Mr David, and quite a few others had been telling me that losing 5 kg would be good, and now I have 3 more to go).

I am so proud of myself that I finally got my ass(fat one, I might add) off to the gym. Whee!

Thanks to Denise, cos I wouldn’t ever go to the gym alone for the lack of motivation.

Yay. Outside the gym. Makeupless with the red burnt spots on my face. How nice. How ghostly.

Basically, my physique is utterly unfit. I gave up jogging after 15 minutes, and felt like puking my lunch out just after 10 on another machine.

I still heart the abs machine the most.

Muahahaha.

We spent yet another 10 plus minutes in the sauna, having senseless and mindless conversations, trying to get pass the time in the sauna.

I still remember how I had immense cultural shock when I was in the changing room, cos everyone was just walking around in their nakedness, and some of them were rather disturbing.

Not the oh-you-have-such-a-great-bod-that-it-is-disgusting-cos-I-am-jealous kinda disturbing but holy-moly-I-hope-I-will-never-end-up-like-that kinda disturbing.

You know what I mean?

I didn’t know where to put my eyes back then.

Though I know for sure that many eyes were on me, shooting dart-like glances at me, cos I was so absolutely thin back then.

‘Why the hell do you come to gym for? To mock at people like us?!‘ I could almost hear the screams from those accusing stares back then.

Now?

It is: Welcome to the club, baby.

And a new addition to the disturbing scenes.

Anyway, by the time I was done with a nice relaxing shower, it was 6.40pm.

Woe is me. My face was peeling badly from the afternoon sun. And I was only out there in the sun for a quarter of the clock!

Was 6.50pm, while I was blowdrying my hair when SBB called.

Wooo. You would like the sights I am seeing now. Naked women. Lots and lots and lots of naked women.

I shall not mention how he had the most incredulous tone in his voice when I told him I was in the changing room of my gym, ‘What are you doing at the gym, sweetie?!‘

Oh. Maybe I was there for a teabreak since water cooler’s water is free.
Oh. Maybe I was there to shop for new clothes.
Oh. Maybe I was there to look into the mirror to make myself feel fat.
Oh. Maybe I was just there for a free shower cos I wanna scrimp on the shampoo since I am so broke.

DUHHHHHHHH.

I am glad we made a fast enough exit cos the gym was busting with the off-work executives coming in.

Almost didn’t recognise the executively dressed Alvin standing at the entrance, cos I had only seen him in dowdy, homely singlets over our constant mahjong sessions.

Oi! Wah, you look different. Do I look like I lose weight?

Um, yeah, I was kinda hoping that I would look like I lost plenty of weight after my gym session, you see.

Long way to go, I guess.

Bade the sweet couple goodbye, before I sashayed my way down to Borders to meet up with VampTreSS and Nick, at the arranged time of……. *drums roll* 6.30pm!

By the time Nick and I saw the approaching VampTreSS and Roy, it was… *gasp* 8.45pm.

Hurhurhurhurhur.

I was smart, I went zapping in and out of shoe shops, browsing at the wide arrays of knee-length boots(I love the suede, beige ones!), darting in and out of boutiques irritating the hell outta sales assistant by taking 10 pieces of clothing at one go into the trying room and not buying anything, squealing in delight at the dainty winter fashion, moaning at my inability to afford them, swooshing in and out of shops, maxing my brain out, milking for Christmas ideas.

Basically, just sashaying down the streets to strut my new skirt(tsk tsk. Rule of thumb when going shopping: Go in a skirt, so you don’t have to wriggle out of your jeans which is absolutely irritating. If you’re in your jeans, it gives you the perfect reason to buy a skirt!), or should I say, looking for boots/bags/top to match it.

And I am supposed to be broke.

Muahahaha.

And, I managed to squeeze into a XS-sized short skirt at Forever 21, alright?! *Punch fist into the air victoriously*

But er, I didn’t buy the skirt.

Nick was reading The Godfather by himself when I located him in Borders, and VampTreSS was nowhere in sight.

Of course, you guys already knew that she only appeared at 8.40pm with Roy in tow.

I bumped into Mel, from the band L.G.F., and it was a brief exchange of smiles and nods. And I was thinking to myself that it is pretty swift that it has been a year since I first saw his band played.

And perhaps, he did recognise me from pictures, since we didn’t formally meet before.

The 4 of us scoured the entire bookstore for books, and I had wanted to get an easy read out of Emily Griffin’s Something Borrowed, but it costs 26 buckeroos.

And I felt cheated that there wasn’t any sale at Borders as expected.

Bleah.

Somebody should just give us a pair of glasses each, and we would be the perfect nerds!

And I was reading an Edgar Allan Poe hard-cover collections, which costs only 16 bucks!

What a steal.

I saw this guy who was squating right next to me, looking for some book on the left side of the shelf behind me.

I didn’t think he was looking up my skirt or something, but I was having this Ally McBeal that if he was, I would give him a kick with a lift of the heel of my sneakers.

Then, for a 2nd time, I saw that he was kneeling right next to me, but not looking at me.

I walked away to the right side of the self, just in case I was blocking his way.

Was bantering with the guys when I suddenly moved away and wooooooops…

I didn’t see that there was indeed someone squatting right behind me and my leg had flew into him.

And you guessed it, it was the same gentleman wearing blue long-sleeved shirt behind me.

As we lingered around the same shelf again, I moved towards the left side of the shelf again.

Just before we made a move from Borders, he squatted right next to me again.

We moved away, and he went to one of the shelves right at the back of the bookstore.

Hello?! Sir? Next time be more sensitive, can? Be conscious of your surroundings, before you choose a place to squat. Beside a girl wearing short skirt is certainly not appropriate.

***

Dinner was at Cream Bistro, and I had no appetite or whatsoever after my day at the gym despite being extremely, downright hungry.

And I saw a familiar, sweet face. That of (Jiechuan, your favourite!) Kewei, the backup vocalist for David Tao’s concert.

Dexter joined us shortly after, and we adjourned to Rouge to join Leon and friends thereafter.

The original plan was to head down Holland Village, which would have been the more ideal choice for me to sit down for a cosy chat(nearer too!), cos somehow, I really wasn’t in the mood to be in some place noisy and dancey(wah! How flabbergasting, coming from the party animal herself).

In the car, I was abused by the ungentlemanly Dexter, and it was only our 2nd meeting!

Tsk.

Gentlemen are scarce in the market these days.

***

Rouge was a place of utter boredom.

Band was belting out songs that resembled lullabies.

I was just sitting there cos it wasn’t a condusive environment to make conversation. I was almost falling asleep.

And for the first time, I learnt what is called, ‘Wing-man manoeuvre’.

Apparently, I have to thank a certain Korean teletubby for it, though I have no idea who he is, nor did I speak to him at all cos he was talking to VampTreSS. His presence made the guys explain to me what wing-man manoeuvre was about.

Muahahahaha.

But there was this point, I was pleading with Nick to talk to me so I didn’t have to entertain anyone(so desperate, was me).

To the point that our conversation was something like this:

Nick: Brakalashuadushejudeporshekadesh
Me: Kilakudinohnescapisco blarblarblar.

Well done.

We left slightly after midnight, and headed to Coffee Club for supper.

***

Whee!

And I made my trip to the gym go down the drain.

The irony of it is, Coffee Club is just right next to my gym, a haunting reminder of how I shouldn’t succumb to it.

But the cake is so pretty that I couldn’t resist!

Nick’s cup of coffee.

All of them were getting tired and almost falling asleep, except me, who was high on adrenalin from my -cough- new and healthy lifestyle. Perhaps the sugar-high from the log cake helped too.

If someone had dared me to jog home, I would have done so, though I wouldn’t think it’s a good idea to do so in a skirt.

Brian joined us slightly after 1am, and the group stayed on for another hour or so.

Before Nick called it a night, he educated us on what is ‘Fake the donkey‘, which they very nicely suggested that I should eduate my readers as well.

It got a tad too suggestive that I was laughing too much, blushing, giggling shyly, I might add, that I couldn’t quite remember what was being said.

I tried the search on yahoo, but garnered no results, so I think they were faking me with the fake-the-donkey theory.

Moral of the story is, get yourself side mirrors when doing *cough* doggie-style.

I have such nice friends, don’t I?

Before long, VampTreSS and Roy were getting too tired, and the group dispersed for the night as the guys headed towards their bikes.

Haven’t been in town for the longest while, and I am starting to get fascinated by the fanciful lights, stuff and people on the streets.

***

A message came in when I was with the group at Coffee Club.

SBB.

Apparently, he was in town with his friends too.

Met up with him for a brief while after the rest had left for home.

Quite evidently, he fancied the skirt, and commented that the skirt fall into the same league as the maroon skirt I have.

I curiously asked what kind of league is that, and I rolled my eyes at his answer.

‘The I-want-to-grab-you-push-you-onto-the-floor-and-shag-you-on-the-spot league’

Um. Right.

Just a pity I wasn’t in boots, right?

Muahahahaha.

Me, and my new skirt, with boots, without…… *cough* socks beneath.

Okay, pretty sad that I don’t have the pair of boots I fancied.

So, if any nice souls decide to get me Nine West boots for Christmas….

My feet is 23cm, 9 inches in length.

Okay, am joking.

Took this picture only because Junita said that my feet size is small, and I got curious with its exact size. Since there are different measurement of sizes across the globe, I thought this would perhaps be more accurate. Heh.

Anyway.

I really wonder if SBB has any kind of fetish for short skirts, especially with nothing underneath boots or something.

He led me by the hand into 7-Eleven to grab some bites and drinks, before we leeched around the carpark right next to the MRT station to smooch cuddle flirt tease make out chat for a while.

Dark. Only illuminated by the pretty, glittery Christmas lightings in a distance.

I flipped my back onto the back of his bike, heaving a sigh of relief with the release of the burden.

Stop touching my cellulite.

He traced his lips down the sides of my neck, and I extended my neck at the slightest touch of such. I felt his lips inching towards the shoulder, and he brought up his hand to run his fingers down my arms. Utterly sensuous. He brought me closer as he leaned in for a pretty intense kiss. His tongue probed fervently, and mine was only happy to flirt in response.

A hand slid down my back, along my spine, ending up at the waist band of the skirt. He parted me from him, and eyed me suspiciously. I shrugged with an evil glint in my eyes.

No Ting, no thrashy novel mode.

I walked towards where his bike was, and he followed right behind. Right then, I felt his touch. I turned back with mocked offense and gave him a warning with the widened eyes. Hmphf, what do you think you are doing? He pulled me towards him for an embrace that could well have suffocated me.

Woops. Stop Ting, stop.

Standing behind him, embracing him from the back, I reached southwards, and caressed lightly, before moving one hand beneath his shirt, and danced my hand frivolously acrossed his body. I nibbled his ear slightly, behind leaving a trail of kisses with the tongue and lips…

Would you want me to do the same back to you too? He asked a tad sardonically. I smirked and skipped away before I was at the receiving end of the game of tease. You are so dead when I see you the next time, he threatened.

I laughed at his threat dismissively. Cheekily, no less.

A group of bikers came into the carpark, and I was absent-mindedly walking in the direction where one of the bikes was moving in, and he caught hold of me to move away in time.

He supported me by the waist and propped me onto the rider seat of his bike, as he finished his ciggie. I was busy wondering if my clumsiness would topple the bike over, before my weight would.

Short skirts and bike really don’t go together.

He placed his hand on my thigh where the skirt couldn’t cover, and slowly ran it up. I could feel his tingling touch as his fingers probed.

Nowadays when I launched into thrashy novel mode, I kinda think it’s pretty hilarious…

The time was getting later, and he finished his last ciggie, before we were caught in the last embrace.

I rested my head on his shoulder, and was getting a tad sleepy. It feel kinda warm and comfortable lying my head comfortably in his neck, sniffing the familiar scent.

I could almost feel the effects from the gym, and the long day taking their toll on me, and the hug was reassuring.

I tightened my grasp around his neck, and he tensed his arms around my waist. I snuck a quick peck on his cheek, and caught a smirk flashing across his face.

What’s with the smirk? I interrogated circumspectly.

As I felt his fingers in between me all of sudden, the realisation hit me. My being tensed. I gasped and grabbed him by the arm as I rest my head comfortably on his shoulder, hugging him closer. One, then two. And we broke away for yet another lustful kiss, before his hand slid away.

With a narrow of his eyes, the smirk broke into a grin, ‘Now, that’s why I was smirking. Something for you to remember me by when you are on the cab.‘

I narrowed my eyes and responded with a scowl, before walking to the nearest waiting cab.

***

The cab driver was rather funny. In his thirties, I would suppose.

On a bad day, he would have been irritating.

When he swerved the cab, and the plastic bag holding Vamp’s Edgar Allan Poe’s book glided across the seat, he thought I had a pet hamster in the plastic bag, and it was running around.

When the cab exited from the expressway, he struck up a conversation and nearly swerved into a biker accidentally.

He was really apologetic and kept waving to the rider to express his apologies.

It was then, he glanced into the rear-view mirror once too many times.

He started telling me that his friend just called him on the phone when I boarded the cab, cos the friend was the cab driver right behind him, and saw me boarding the cab.

Apparently, his friend had wanted to ferry me instead.

So when he was exiting from the expressway, when stopping at the traffic junction, he was trying to have a good look at me from the mirror.

Duh.

Then he told me what his friend had said.

Then, he tried to play matchmaker.

‘My friend is very young. He is not married. Not bad looking, you know? He wants to know you.‘

(Shortly after, just before the cab turned into the estate, SBB called, and when I related this to him, he said, ‘You should have told him: Uncle, just now you got see the bike coming out? That one younger and cuter.‘ Muahahaha.)

I gave a very polite, ‘Oh is it?’ and gave my social laugh.

He then said the next time I am in town, late at night, I should look out for the plate number 332X and it would be the friend who called.

Why? Next time he would send me back for free is it?

Like that I wouldn’t mind staying out in town till past midnight every night.

Muahahahaha.

It was then another chain of conversations that started with ‘My friend said…..‘

When turning into the estate, he started saying, ‘Wah.. you rich girl, stay here huh?’

Wrong thing to say. I absolutely detest it when staying in a private apartment means rich.

‘Many Japanese stay here right?’

‘Yup, I have many Japanese neighbours.’

‘Are you a Japanese?’

‘Huh?! Do I sound like one to you?’

For goodness sake, we were conversing in MANDARIN, mind you.

‘Oh no lah, I thought your dressing looks like Japanese schoolgirl.’

!!!!!!!!!!!

I where got so cute?

Hello?! Do I look like a Japanese to you? Do I look like I was retained in my grades for a decade or something?

White top. Skirt. Sneakers. Gym bag.

I was speaking Mandarin, alright?

Chinese.

Just when I was about to pay for my fare when he finally stopped, he stared into the rear view mirror and said he wanna take another few good looks at me before I alight. So I was digging into my wallet with him staring at me with full concentration via the mirror.

Huh.

As I was paying, he joked that I better ‘quickly run’(as in get away from the cab sooner) or else he would want to look at me more, and perhaps drive me away.

I was slightly more at ease, since SBB was still hanging on to the phone.

When he heard this, he joked, ‘Of course he wants you to run faster, so he can get a good view with your skirt flapping as you run.‘

I mustered the sweetest of smile I could, and said thank you, before I got off the cab.

No, I didn’t get a discount or anything.

Darn.

***

The phone call with SBB lusted lasted for a while more before I finally felt ‘relaxed’ enough to end the night.

Well, with someone singing Doraemon to me over the phone, of course ‘relaxed’, no?

I am pretty glad that I woke up without an ounce of muscle ache.

Okay, fine. Just a teeny weeny bit.

Problem with waking up at 5.30 in the evening is that I am freaking awake right now, and I feel like going for a jog.

Did I say that my stretch marks are awful and I have plenty of them?

Argh.

Decided to break this post away from my other post, cos it seems to be going on forever with its combined length.

And I doubt I would finish the post anytime soon if they are merged together.

So, here, I shall post my random snippets of the week thus far.

***

My my. These couple of days seem excruciatingly long, but yet whizzed past pretty swiftly.

I seem to have a problem…. recalling.

Sigh. I feel so detached from my reality that there seems to be a different realm I exist in, and everything seems so foreign to me when I have to sit in front of the monitor, absorbing my reality, and recapping it.

Especially when there really isn’t much for me to remember, except that I had been exceptionally sulkish these few days. And it’s not even PMS!!

Remembering. I almost forgot how painful the word can be.

Anyway, there isn’t much remembering to do, either, since there isn’t much I had done over this week, except for nursing the slight tummy bug and muscle aches with plenty of rest.

Bleah.

Like how I finally had ample rest last night when I retired slightly before 2, after a phone call with SBB. I slept through the night and was flabbergasted(rather glad too, I might add) to find myself greeting my Wednesday at 2pm, which means I had slept for more than 12 hours!

Especially when it was pretty much quality sleep, without much interruptions, besides the countless odd dreams that bugged me endlessly throughout. And it’s already 3.30 already.

***

Oops. Time-out for a while. Call coming in.

***

Darn. Someone just hung up my call accidentally.

Basket.

Such a dum dum.

***

Santa Dad dropped by yesterday after returning from his Hong Kong trip.

Happy, happy is me.

And that will give you a glimpse how flawed I am.

Thanks daddy.

I had this evil intention when I saw Dad holding a bottle of CK Eternity Summer perfume.

My penchant for perfumes stirred the evilness within me.

That’s for mum, dad quipped.

I held back, thinking how glad she would be knowing Dad had bought her something too.

I tell ya, despite her being a difficult person at times, she is pretty easily contended when we get her stuff. She would wear the brightest of smiles whenever she receive something from dad, or me, which is pretty, -sheepish- rare.

Like how she would wrap the Ferragamo wallet I got for her(back in the days when there was income. Sigh) with a cloth, and put it into another cloth bag whenever she uses it.

What I heard is, she seldom uses it, for the fear of flawing it with scratches and such.

Come to think of it, I did take after some of her traits.

I have some stuff in mind for my Christmas wishlist, and SBB and I were discussing that perhaps I should write to Santa or something.

SBB very encouragingly said that I should spell Santa with a D or something.

And I am contemplating to write my letter to Santa in Chinese, and place the letter on the windscreen of my Dad’s car.

My justification? When Santa parks his truck at the carpark to make some delivery… he might stroll past Daddy’s car, no?

Makes sense, huh?

He then said I might as well put it on my blog just in case Santa reads blogs, too!

This goes to show the kind of lame conversations we have.

***

Dear Santa,

I need a professional camera. Actually, a new digital camera shall suffice. I need a palm top to replace my old phone. I need a trip to Europe. I need a new nose, new pair of boobs, liposuction, and facial reconstruction. I need makeup too. I need new clothes(oh yes! Yes! Yes! I am lazy to shop, so would you please do it for me?). I need new reads too. I need a laptop, too. More sexThat Bulgari ring I had been eyeing. A pair of pretty, princessy Nine West shoes. Or sexy, knee-high boots(size 4 and 1/2 please). Bags! Bags! Bags! More perfumes. I need….. actually, SBB did a calculation for your convenience. Drop me a US$20, 000 cheque and all’s well.

Thank you.

Oh, and I love you, too.

***

Had planned to head down to Borders today since I heard there is a sale going on. Since the guys are meeting up tomorrow, I shall postpone my plans to tomorrow then.

Whee.

Another day to be spent at home, just like yesterday.

Perhaps I shall sit down to send some proper emails out.

Right after I get some dinner for myself.

If some car knocks me down or something, I would appreciate a fund set up in memory of me, and that my blog entries would get published into a book or something(Gee, how many volumes would that be?).

Since my entries are exceptionally long, I am sure more funds would be required.

Pass on a copy of it to my parents would be nice, too.

No biggie since they don’t understand English. And I think they might be interested to know about my sex life.

But nah, since I am no close friends with the big shots at Tomorrow.sg, I don’t think I would have the privilege or anything like such.

Just make sure those who come forward to say they are my close friends, are indeed, close to me.

Those who resort to namecallings to defend my name, um.. I am not so sure if they are my friends, you know?

My friends all very civilised one.

That one I can count on.

And my friends not editors from Tomorrow.sg, so it’s okay, I think.

But darn, that means I will have no book.

Cos, my friends wouldn’t be able to afford, unlike:

‘If you don’t like what we do, dont donate. We dont really need your money – among
the editors, we can fork out enough money.’

***

Oh. Nick has just offered to use his office printer to print a book for me shall I die.

God bless your soul, precious one.

***

Nick expressed with helplessness that my pictures would be in black and white though.

And VampTreSS had kindly offered to print my pictures, giving them the vibrant hues they deserve(photoshop inclusive?).

Before I forget, Vamp and SBB, please do not put up my nude pictures for all to see in memory of me, alright?

As for the others, don’t put my unflattering pictures up when I die, or else I will make sure I will haunt you guys, makeupless, every night.

Thank you.

***

Didn’t quite rest enough for Saturday.

Did some marketing, and had proper breakfast after blogging. Slept at 10 plus.

Woke up around 4 plus, and Alvin and Denise came over to pick me up around 6 in the evening.

It was yet another mahjong night. 20 bucks richer at the end of it.

A short one though, in the early evening, which ended around 11 plus, and I retired early at around 2 plus, and had wanted to wake up early to do my laundry and some house chores.

***

I was jolted awake by the soft, tiny beep from my phone on Sunday, and was aghasted to realise it was already -gasp- 1.40pm.

I had thought I would wake up by 10 in the morning, and how wrong I was.

I realised I would be really late for the arrange 2pm.

Went out of house and decided to hail a cab instead.

I shall not mention how pissed I was when my cab was snatched 4 blardy times in a row.

F.O.U.R.

I awed myself with my incredible patience, and that I was such a coward that I did not fight for my rights.

And we thought Japanese are polite and Singaporeans are rude.

2 of my cabs were snatched by Japanese.

Bleah.

***

By the time I reached Wenmei’s, it was nearing 3.

Only Lihui, Wenmei and I.

It was our cookies-cum-brownie day.

Since we were all makeupless, no one was willing to be featured on pictures.

We had quite some fun with the mixture, and catching up with the gossips in the midst of doing so.

And also, getting to know some unpleasant exchanges between common friends.

By the time I was there, the 2 girls had finished weighing the flour and the sugar.

I shall now illustrate what a great housewife I will make, with all the homely pictures of me baking and such, so whoever reading this, please make me your number 1 candidate if you are looking for an intelligent, gorgeous, sweet, submissive, homely, kinky nothing-is-impossible wife.

Just before sending this batch into the oven. With walnuts on top.

It was fun hanging out with the girlies, and shortly after, their respective beaus joined us, and we ended up watching some Hong Kong horror movie on VCD, before heading down for dinner.

I am not sure if the mixture was not well mixed, and some of the cookies were overly-sweet. I ended up having a loss of appetite.

Then again, some other cookies seemed to be quite alright, and were actually pretty nice.

Brownie was pretty nice, though it didn’t look that nice.

The guys enjoyed the cookies a darn lot, showering their girlies with all the praises, and nipping freshly baked ones off the trays.

Poor Wenmei was actually feeling unwell and groggy, yet she had been a fantastic host.

Dinner was a much more lively affair, as we sat starving around the table, waiting for our dishes to be served.

Eventually, I bade them goodbye, while they adjourned back to Wenmei’s for further programs, cos I thought of the house chores piling skyhigh back home.

Thanks ladies, for the lovely day.

Back home, I was soaked in sweat as I did some extensive cleaning up I had deprived my home of for the longest time.

I hope I lost weight from that.

***

Woops.

Time is 8pm now, and I just returned from a long walk around the neighbourhood, and grabbed some dinner to replenish the 6 meals I had missed since Monday’s late lunch of french fries with SBB.

Why are the flabs still not going away?

Bleah.

Mental note to self: Remember to bring phone out the next time round.

Since I reach home safe and sound, I don’t think there will be any book published under my name anytime soon.

***

I am pleasantly surprised when I was at the coffeeshop today.

The uncle behind the counter saw me from a distance and pantomined what I saw as asking if I want to make an order.

I nodded briefly.

The next thing I knew, my usual drink of iced tea was served.

Quite frankly, I never quite ordered any drinks from this uncle, and it was usually the aunties who would go around the table to ask for orders.

Today, they all seemed to be busy, and the uncle was standing behind his counter, as usual.

And its odd, thinking how I only head down to the coffeeship once a week, and my usual drink was taken note of.

It’s nice. To be remembered.

***

Last night I was watching television and a song caught onto me, haunting me like how the doraemon song did in the past.

Damn!

And I couldn’t shake it off.

Just when I thought I could, when I was out doing some bread shopping just now, I heard it blasting over 93.3FM.

Schni Schna Schnappi…. Schnappi, Schnappi, Schnappi….

Oh no.

Stay away from me before I launch into an animated, high-pitched, babyish intepretation of the song.

Schni Schna Schnappi…. Schnappi, Schnappi, Schnappi….

Schni Schna Schnappi…. Schnappi, Schnappi, Schnappi….

Schni Schna Schnappi…. Schnappi, Schnappi, Schnappi….

Schni Schna Schnappi…. Schnappi, Schnappi, Schnappi….

Schni Schna Schnappi…. Schnappi, Schnappi, Schnappi….

Uh oh. The force is strong with this one.

Nooo!! Get away from me.

***

Oh, I found the translated lyrics for the song.

I am Snappy, the little crocodile
I come from Egypt, located at the Nile
I was trapped in my egg at first,
But snip-snap-snap and then it burst.

Snip Snap Snappy
Snappy Snappy Snap
Snip Snap Snappy
Snappy Snappy Snap

I am Snappy, the little crocodile
I have sharp teeth, show lots with every smile
I snap up everything I smell,
I snap because I can so well

Snip Snap Snappy
Snappy Snappy Snap
Snip Snap Snappy
Snappy Snappy Snap

I am Snappy, the little crocodile
I like to snap because it makes me smile
For my Mom, I’ll set a little trap
And then she’ll see how well that I can snap

I am Snappy, the little crocodile
I could go on snapping for a while
I’ll just bite my Papa on the toe
And then off to sleep I go

Whee! So cute.

***

I need to do some shopping.

I realise how I haven’t been shopping much the whole of this year.

Perhaps because I look awful in everything since my weight gain.

Correction.

Perhaps because I look awfully awesome in all clothes that I know not what to buy.

New skirts/dresses/tops would be nice.

Any sugar daddy wanna bring me shopping? *Flutters eyelashes*

Santa, I really need my cheque, ya know?

***

There was this dream that I had which was rather weird.

I dreamt of myself blacking out and fainting on the road, and everyone was trying to resuscitate me.

And suddenly, it triggered this long-lost memory of mine, which had been stacked away in the recesses, when I was walking back home just now.

One, of how my mum fainted when we were returning from the market one morning, when I was… 4?

***

Seen a range of friends’ reactions towards some stuff recently.

Re-evaluation time.

***

Time for showers.

Laters.

Accidents do happen. Really.

How careless of me to sustain slight cuts to my hand.

Hurhurhur.

Time to get a new blade. Old one getting blunt.

Whee!

Not in the right frame of mind to blog(though I did blog), so do look forward to something lengthy the next time round.

Did I mention how much I hate the being I have become?

Yeap.

Hate. The very word I loathe to use, and had refrained from using for the longest time.

Maybe the word is specially reserved for myself.

And Mr Ex had just told me a few days ago that he feels that I have a great heart to serve God.

Do I?

Gee. Great heart. Spoken by an Ex.

Why do I feel not an ounce of that worthiness?

Oh. I just realised that people who are depressed dream up to 3 times more than normal people.

Gee.

The howling wind was a rampager.

The moment I depressed the door’s handle to venture to the hall, I could hear the crying gust expressing its angst and grief through the windows.

I took a peek through a window, and wondered if I should video the wild boogie of the trees in the raving night.

I thought some might even get uprooted with the violence carried in the wind.

But the wind spooked me enough to force me to retreat into my room for the rest of the night. It was as if a whirlwind was approaching or some sort.

Its tantrum toppled one of my wooden stools, and what were resting peacefully on the living room table were swept onto the floor.

The heavy curtains were badly battered after a night’s of fervent dancing to the manipulating wind.

Newspaper strewn across the tiles, some of which clung tightly to the Christmas tree.

I should be glad the Christmas tree was found standing upright in the hall.

I swear I was joking last night when I joked that my house looked as if a tornado swept past it with the mess I had yet to clear up prior to the heavy storm.

I didn’t realise the gale eventually did create an even bigger mess, until this morning.

As if it was a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I shall keep my mouth shut the next time round.

***

What the hell did you guys do to him?!

He is using me as a training board for SMS flirting(and you thought the guy is a block of wood and can’t flirt for nuts) since late morning till now.

Muahahaha.

Must be the new hair. No, no, no. New wardrobe. No, no, no. Oh man, don’t tell me he had acquired a gait in his walk, like you do?

***

I am not sure what’s with my luck these days.

Am not sure to even classify them as good, or bad.

Remember how I mentioned someone offered to whisk me away to some exotic island, or to Hong Kong/Australia some time back?

After some people offered to sponsor a trip to Bali, too, earlier this year, to join them for their break.

And, last year’s offer to go New Zealand for a shoot…

Recently a very kind gentleman suggested that perhaps I should spend my winter in Europe. London, Paris, wherever. In Europe.

*Gasp gasp gasp*

Perhaps my yearning for Europe were screaming out of my every pore, and it could even be sniffed in far away Europe, thus for the suggestion.

I would really love to, but it is not something within my means at the moment.

He then made an offer I almost couldn’t resist.

He would get me air tickets, and even sponsor my accomodation and expenses.

*Gasp gasp gasp gasp gasp*

London, we are talking about, you know? When everything is measured in snobbish and hefty pounds.

It’s Europe we are talking about, hun.

I retorted that he could pay for my accomodation and food, or even transport. BUT, how could I blardy not shop if I am in Europe?

I mean, that is indeed one of my concern, and I really do want to be paying for myself.

Unless he is saying that whenever I strut into Prada/LV/Gucci/Loewe/Hermes, he would whip out a stash of cash(credit cards of all sorts welcomed!), and buy me the entire franchise so I could rob the shop clean and sashay out in style with all those filled, stiff and pretty paperbags.

With the sales assistants kneeling on the glossy tiles, worshipping me in reverie.

Joke, okay, joke.

Truth is, if I really do want to make the trip, I would really love to be in Europe, but I would rather be sponsored by(read: If I have to choose), yes, call me a brat for all you want, Daddy, instead of burdening anyone else.

Just when I thought that was that, an awaiting email I received yesterday threw me off my seats.

Someone is offering to bring me to New York with him.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow. I can start buying myself a map and strike off the places that I am being offered sponsorship too.

Europe. Checked. China. Checked. Asia. Checked. Exotic Islands. Checked. Australia. Checked. US of America. Checked. New Zealand. Checked.

Africa, anyone?

Okay, okay.

Darn. Too bad this winter would be crucial period to something I am starting to work on… eek.

Wait. Just let me check back with Mr Bring-me-to-New York if he is going to buy me any brand’s franchise before I decide on that.

Kidding.

I am overwhelmed by the kindness that poured my way these days, as if blessings were abundantly available around.

Thanks for the offer and the generiosity, really. But I would really love to make the trips by my own means than anything else, with the ability to spend, and thoroughly enjoy myself without any limits set upon.

Just because I am broke and jobless has made everyone spared me with so much sympathy. Muahahaha.

Maybe they should just throw in the money so I could say, learn Italian in Italy, learn photography in US, or pick up music in London or something?

Dream on.

***

Was with SBB on the phone on Wednesday, speaking of the friend who just had his brain tumour removed.

With the usual coincidence, I realised the guy, Marcus, was actually working for VampTreSS’ mentor prior to his surgery.

And he works in the company David co-owns(oh, so many Davids, which one, you say? Sister David, the darling).

SBB and I spoke of the vulnerability of life, when I mentioned how 3 people in my friendster list are no longer around, and people close to me, seem to have lotsa more setbacks than I could remember.

I certainly don’t want to go through that kind of feeling, especially after losing a dear, dear friend last year.

Um… sweetie, can you remove me from your friendster list, then?

Duh. Coward. Hmphf.

What I didn’t expect was that, the very next day, Finicky Feline informed me of the demise of La Idler.

Though there was never any personal exchange with the said blogger, there was a slight anguish within me that couldn’t quite be explained.

It was perhaps that reason why I was kept up longer than I should on a Thursday night.

In a conversation with VampTreSS when I got home, I spoke about how some of the people I most love, had been through things I would hope never to befall on them.

Dad had a bad heart attack year ago.

Mum had a lump and had her ovaries removed.

A very, very close pal, had a medical condition, and had to undergo surgery and very painful treatment years ago. She took a year off school before she recovered.

Another of my very very close pal had a cyst removed from her breast couple of years ago.

A very darling pal had a surgery to her leg when an infection to her leg occured out of nowhere.

The above 3 pals’ names are often thought of when I am at my lowest, in a couple of posts I had mentioned.

Then, the recent revelation of Marcus’ brain tumour….

And how Guangyang passed away in his sleep when his airway collapsed last year. Shubin’s accident years ago. Linda’s accident earlier this year.

Not forgetting the pre-cancer in me a couple of years ago.

Then I mused how fragile life is.

Isn’t it frustrating when it happens to people you care most about?

Ya huh, it seems to happen to people around you, quite bizarrely.

I mean, it doesn’t make sense. They don’t smoke, don’t sleep around(okay, maybe with exception of my dad), don’t drink, don’t do drugs, are people with great personality and are not evil. Why huh? WHY?!

Hmm… You have been living the wrong liftstyle.

Yeah, I guess. I should start to smoke, sleep around, drink, take drugs or something?

***

I got intimidated by the loud noise, and shrimped back into my room, forsaking my original dinner plans.

I shortchanged my Friday a great deal to make Thursday a lengthy one, and Saturday an early one.

For that, I was aghasted to realise that I deprived my body of food, water and a decent shower for the whole of yesterday.

Come to think of it, I have yet to savour the taste of plain water for more than a week. Yes, I am that reluctant to drink any fluids, which I know is a darn lot unhealthy. Not to mention that I already have a very screwed biological clock that is not doing my health any good.

Wait a minute, I am sure I had a few sips on Thursday, but that’s about it.

I don’t like to drink water. Period.

I am not sure if Thursday had drained me so much that I needed the entire Friday to recuperate.

I only managed to hit the sacks at 1pm, Friday, to give my body some Thursday rest.

By the time I woke up, it was already half past 6.

Was so bored that I decided to give my body, ahem, some tender, loving care.

Had very much wanted to take a walk or jog to get myself some dinner, but when I heard the ghostly wails out there, I gave up the idea, and holed up under my duvet instead despite there wasn’t any rain at all.

I didn’t want to be swept away, you see, though the probability is extremely low with my weight stabilizing me.

It was 11 plus when I drifted in and out of consciousness, and dozed off.

It was close to 1am when I sat up, and decided I should end my night once and for all.

Wow. My Friday lasted no more than 5 hours.

Bad move.

I went to sleep and perhaps my body wasn’t quite used to the change in the timing, and woke up numerous times throughout the night, wondering why isn’t it daybreak yet, before I would force myself to indulge in more shallow sleep.

I greeted the day finally when the daylight sept into my room, and it was 8 in the morning.

Still, I feel as if I didn’t rest enough, and a pending headache was tugging me again.

I recalled that I have not drank a single drop of fluid for more than 24 hours, nor a single bite of food.

Dehydration.

I scrambled out of the house in the drizzle before the weather gets bad again.

Proper breakfast. Bought lotsa bread for the day just in case another storm comes knocking in the afternoon.

And I am slightly pissed that I am not able to do my laundry today with the sucky weather.

And I thought I should be happy that it gives me an excuse to hole up at home with another read, and not doing anything.

***

My Wednesday was yet another plain and simple one.

Started at 6pm, no less.

That was simply because I had spent the night up ablazed with the reading bug.

I finished 1/3 of my Jeffery Deaver’s read, and only slept when it was near noon. Books are bad, and I shall say it again.

The day was coupled with a couple of phone calls from SBB in the evening and later in the night.

And…. of course, 3 hours spent over at Alvin’s for another night of Mahjong, and I was 15 bucks richer by the end of the night.

Ended the session with a supper over at Taman Jurong’s 24-hour golden arch branch, before I headed home to do a bit of surfing and planning, and indulge in my read again.

By 9am, I finally finished my book and caught up some sleep for the long day ahead.

***

4.30pm. And I was awoken half an hour earlier than expected.

Struggled to get out of bed after some procrastinating. Washed up. Piled on some makeup.

Slipped on the black dress, and shook my head as I saw the brutal image that greeted me in the mirror.

Yucks.

No choice. One of the few black dresses I have in the wardrobe, that is of the required dress code. Crew colour of the night.

On went the heels, and I strutted out of the house, merging with the off-work crowd at 5.45pm on a Thursday evening.

I felt totally out of place in the train, but put myself at ease by doing some reading, oblivious to the curious stares I gathered.

Was at Good Wood Park Hotel’s Thumper 5 minutes past the arranged 6.30pm, and there wasn’t anyone I recognised there except for another lone figure standing at another corner.

Went to the ladies, and dialled for VampTreSS, who as usual, would take quite a while to reach.

By 7pm, I acquainted myself with 2 gorgeous babes, Stephanie and Daphine, while VampTreSS sashayed into the ladies to meet up with us.

It was a quarter past 7, when the 4th girl, the very lovable Felicia(I heart that darling) joined us.

And here, I present to you, the Santarinas in black!

And us with our Mamasan, before Felicia joined us.

And sigh, I have to reminisce the days when I look so much slimmer in the same dress.

Like:

That was last year and look at my arm!

Or, this year’s March:

Fat………

Alright. Enough of such heart-breaking topics. More pictures from Thumper.

We were at the Christmas event of Expat magazine.

A very big thanks to the photographer for the event who helped us to take the above picture.

And he took some other pictures of us, and took the time to send to me by email. What a nice soul!

When he passed me his namecard, I saw that he actually took pictures for events and concerts.

I briefly asked what concerts had he covered, and he revealed that he was at the recent David Tao’s concert for a local entertainment magazine, and was the official photographer for the stadium and the record company.

I exclaimed that I was at the concert too, and joked that he better not have pictures of me losing my poise and composure.

It was then as if he recalled something, and he whipped out an album.

Apparently he had just compiled the concert’s official pictures, and had the album, CD-rom with him that very day!

And, he very generously showed me the exclusive official pictures of David Tao’s concert, and I was immensely glad when I couldn’t see any evidence of my groupie self in it.

Very nice shots, I must say. That was incredibly sweet of him.

Am I lucky or what?

Some other pictures from him:
And us, acting cool/cute.

And some other pictures taken by Vamp:

The girls are absolute darlings to have around. No airs, and are extremely uplifting to be working with.

Had so much fun with them around, especially Felicia who was the goofy one, making the evening so much more pleasant.

They were all smiles and there were absolutely no complaints from the 2 hour of standing.

Besides them, the staff from Expat made our job a much easier one with their amicable personality.

Though I didn’t quite catch their names, they were with us at the entrance for most of the night, buzzing in and out of Thumper as guests poured in.

It is so fun to be working with people who are absolute darlings, and that no one is bitchy nor too obnoxious to make conversations with.

The most impressive ones were Angeline and Fiza, who are such sincere and gorgeous beings.

The vivacious Angeline, with the gorgeous sunshine smile.

And I spent a good half of my night gawking at Fiza, who is such a classic beauty.

Vamp and I were musing over how gorgeous she is, and I even tried to make a conversation with her, as if I was picking her up or something.

I joked that thank God I am not a guy, or else there would be a good chance that I would be mistaken as some pervert or something.

Ain’t she such a beauty?

Her huge eyes and infectious smile were mesmerising, I tell you.

We were then talking about how we look in the past, and I admitted that I was such a tomboy in the past that I was mistaken for guy.

A trip to Australia when I was 12, the airstewardess actually said, ‘Hello boy, this way’ when I was disembarking.

Grrr…

And I was surprised when she commented I actually look feminine with my feminine features, and there was no way I could ever look like a boy.

If only she saw those ghastly pictures from the past.

Which was such an irony, cos that very same night, the basket Nick, Roy and Kelvin had said that I look like a transvestite, which on hindsight, wasn’t the first time it was said.

Talk about me being on the extremes.

The evening breezed past with such ease with little conversations here and there, and me being a little overwhelmed cos I couldn’t when was the last time I got acquainted with so many nice people at some public event.

A change from the recluse, isn’t too bad.

Me and Daphine, who is of Indian-Chinese mix, thus her pretty feature.

Midst of work.

After 2 hours of work, we were all hungry, and tired but their positivity made everything seem more fun than it should.

E.I.C. was there to perform for the night as well. Since I was supposed to go into the club to prepare for the lucky draw segment, I bumped into them at the stage. Vamp took a picture for us too.

And finally, we were released, and sat around taking a break, munching the leftover cream puffs.

Once again, thanks to Willie, the photographer, for the pictures.

Don’t look at the fat legs of mine, thank you.

Felicia, Stephanie, Daphine and um.. no, that’s not me you are seeing. Ha!

The highlight of the night came when we were supposed to make our way to the very nice New Asia bar, cos one of Vamp’s friends was celebrating his birthday there.

It was then, when Felicia or Stephanie suggested that we could take a bus, cos the cab queue was too atrociously snaking.

Erm, yes, the idea of us taking bus wearing what we were wearing was, interesting. A pretty good laugh too.

But all of us being totally unglamourous people on usual days, the idea grew on us, and was well-received.

Can you imagine us being totally excited at the idea of taking bus in dresses?

Quite fun, I must say.

The short bus ride was a rowdy affair with us giggling like school girls, and falling over our seats during some clumsy moments.

And Miss Vamp had captured some of the drama moments with her constant snapping.

That’s what I call free advertising. Too dark.

That’s better.

One of the rare proper shots.

I thought Felicia and Stephanie look an abundance of cuteness here. I really adore them.

The usual girlie talks.

You could even see the streets of Orchard as we waltzed through the traffic.

And we even captured the Christmas lightings on our short bus ride. Yay.

Met up with Nick, Kelvin and Roy at the ground floor of Swissotel, before the entourage headed up to the 71st floor of the hotel.

Hmm. Not my first time to New Asia Bar.

But, somehow, it brought back a lot of unnecessary memories.

The first time I was there was Kirk’s wedding.

2nd time was a drink with Philip.

3rd time was when Kenneth joined Philip and I for a drink.

4th time was Chin Yee’s birthday, where I met Mr Z4.

There was nearly a 5th time when we nearly went with Mr Plastic Surgeon, Mr Neurosurgeon and Mr General Practitioner, but it was already closed.

I always joke that is a jerk-related place.

And Vamp wondered if I would meet any jerks on my 5th visit there, and I rolled my eyes at her evil intention of me meeting more jerks than I need in my life.

It was their friend, Dexter’s birthday.

It was then I received a SMS from Raf that Feroz(her fiance)’s sister saw me at Thumper.

And when speaking to Dexter, I realised he actually knows Gareth and Feroz, cos he too, is a ship broker, which is what Feroz is doing now.

I guess all my friends are interlinked.

No one really danced, and all of us, especially Roy, Kelvin, Nick and me, were trigger-happy.

The fabulous night view sparked off the photography urge, and we were all engrossed in taking pictures of the pretty night instead of partying away.

And here are some of my favourites. Taken by non-professional cameras.

My camera lousy, the best I could manage.

And people, if you never did realise how enchantingly beautiful this tiny island is, this is the proof:

My favourite nightview picture above, by Nick, I supposed.

Somehow, I quite like the picture taken of the road junction, too.

I think this was by Nick, which I personally like too.

I am sure you didn’t make out that this is actually a glass of champagne, taken with the lens in the glass.

Mine.

Some self-taken shots.

At least my hand didn’t shake much!

It was then we got into the groove of things, and had plenty of fun sitting around, getting acquainted with the new friends.

The very sweet Felicia, enjoying her Moet. She helped to hold up my hair tenderly when I was trying out her eye shadow on the bus. Such a thoughtful lass, she is.

Felicia the darling, with me.

Stephanie the one with the delicate features. She is of English-Chinese mix. Gee, so pretty.

Us and our Mamasan!

Woops, not very well-taken.

Finally one which our faces could all be seen.

I thought this picture is really cute. I like.

Of Nick, the birthday boy, Dexter, Vamp and Leon.

A self-taken shot when bored.

When the birthday boy gets tipsy, never stand around taking pictures and unaware of what’s happening.

I learnt it the hard way when I was standing around taking picture of the wine counter, when suddenly someone slithered right next to me, and I was in a slight state of euphoria shock when he started humping my thigh!

God!

The only consolation is that I had it easier than Roy:

Gee.

Crazy but sporting fun.

Me and the birthday boy, when he was tad more sober, and all the rowdy fun died down.

We then sat around when most of his friends had left.

Before I knew it, I was part of the photography subjects.

And I really like some of the pictures they taken, especially this, which was taken earlier when we were taking scenery shots:

And some other random pictures as we sat by the window to chat later in the night.

Super act cute, I know.

Super act sweet, I know too.

I wasn’t aware when this was taken though.

I think I was indeed mesmerised by the pretty night sky.

Vamp took a picture of Kelvin’s attempt to shoot me with his handphone.

And of course, the picture in the previous post which some took as a cue to launch a subtle attack. Heh. Interesting.

Roy took his cameraphone to take pictures of me, too.

So I ended up having 2 cameras and 2 phones aiming at me.

I thought this picture was very cute with Kelvin and Nick looking like 2 young boys.

Nick! You are cute, you hear that?!

Kelvin and I.

Nick and Ting.

The last picture my camera could manage before it ran out of battery.

Harry and I.

The poor chap was just saying he hates to be photographed, and before he knew it, he was snapped, and being mocked that he looks like a construction worker.

Woops.

The group then adjourned to Hotel Rendevous Kopitiam for supper.

It was then, I joked to Vamp that we were taking the walk down memory lane cos we first met at Thumper, and later on went on to the very same place for supper some 7, 8 months ago.

It was the same place, she told me her nick is Angel of Night, which I was slightly startled, cos surprise, surprise, my nick used to be Angel of the Dark.

Never did I expect it to lead us here.

Anyway, it didn’t start off with the right note, and… look how far we have come together(yes yes, you are supposed to grab some kleenex and sniff hard into it, pretending how touched you are!).

Imagine the horror we both had, when we were leaving, that Harry mentioned something about being angel of the dark, and Vamp and I shot each other an amused look.

Interesting night, eh?

Quite a fulfilling night, though it was a tad tiring. Not sure if it was from the constant smiles that we had to put up for the guests.

Still, meeting lotsa of beautiful people, was a blessing, too.

Nice.

When I have the time later today, I will post a very fulfilling post.

Many, many pictures.

Many, many ladies.

Correction.

Many, many drop-dead gorgeous babes.

Did I mention many, many pictures?

Yeah, I did.

So many many that it might crash your computer.

Meanwhile.

I shall give you guys a task.

Tell me a story.

Of what you see in this picture.

And how you interpret this.

Yes, Art & Crafts teacher here is giving you something to chew on.

(If only teaching Art & Crafts was so easy back when I was with the force!)

So, what do you think the picture is telling you?

Don’t take the subject as me.

Take the picture as a whole, and tell me what gives you the deepest impression.

Could be the girl. *Laughs* Could be the eyes. Could be the colours. Could be the buildings in the background.

Lips, hair, whatever, whatever.

Your way of deciphering. Not mine.

Have a nice weekend.