What I absolutely detest is, something would bound to go wrong during such crucial time of the year, that would make me a much broker person than I already am.

It happened many times.

And so it is, again, this year.

***

Sorry, I won’t be keeping up to my promise.

There won’t be any pictures of gorgeous babes clad in their skimpy clubbing gears, pouting their lips sexily to spice up the screen.

Girls’ night out didn’t happen.

What a bum.

***

I find it pretty hard to sit still in front of the monitor for the past couple of days. Not sure if it was the book.

Or perhaps, the itch.

Or just perhaps, nothing much.

***

The wind didn’t just ruffle my hair today.

It manipulated my style into a silly mop, which I had tried hard, and unsuccessfully, swept out of my face.

I felt good enough to be in the midst of it, as it carressed every inch of me, almost recklessly.

The 2nd day I had been out by myself.

A short walk really does me much good. In a world of my world, I feel good.

I saw a lot of things along the way. Things you seldom find in this busy, fast-paced cosmopolitan town.

I walked past this old shop, which still has the dark grey, cold concrete floor I used to have at my old place till I was 10.

It sells 2nd hand fridges and televisions, and I saw a mat right at where the entrance is.

On it, sprawled across, was a baby girl, lying on her tummy, taking an afternoon nap.

Right next to her, couple of those 2nd-hand televisions were blasting away on those low shelves.

Her fine, thin hair tousled by the breeze.

Her grandma and dad having a conversation nearby.

I wonder which parent would crease their brows if his/her child is being rested on the cold concrete floor of a shop these days.

I almost wanted to smile at the simplicity of it.

It was all so… innocent.

***

Had dinner by myself at the hawker centre, with the stumpy guy at the stall being extremely nice, again.

For the first time, he asked if the portion was okay with me, and if I wanna add more stuff to my Nasi Lemak. When I declined, he muttered something along the line of, ‘But it’s so little..’.

I have not quite gotten my appetite back, and thus was quite okay with it.

At the coffee shop yesterday, the same uncle who brought me the drink I wanted without taking orders from me last week, saw me from afar, and pantomined if I needed a drink, and he brought me the usual iced tea I had always ordered.

Oddly, at the hawker centre across the road, I would order watermelon juice.

The stumpy guy at the stall, would usually hover around me, waving the drink stall uncle or auntie, catching their attention, so they would come over to take my orders.

He first did it when once, after I sat down with my Nasi Lemak, I tried to look around for people to take my drink orders, but yet, was too shy to speak up cos everyone was buzzing around, and not seeing my soft whispers for their attention.

Don’t ask me why an usually loud person like me would sink into such phases of shyness. I have no explanations, either.

Since then, Mr Stumpy would always quietly get the attention of the stall owners on my behalf(once, he walked up to them to tell them), and I always pretended I didn’t see his efforts of doing so.

I think he had decided that I am just a helpless, shy damsel in distress.

Nice people are all around.

***

SBB called while I had just finished dinner, and was roaming along the neighbourhood.

Couldn’t quite remember the places and stores I scooted in and out of, but I remember walking into the Singapore Pools cos of a minor casual mention on the phone.

I have never bought any numbers for myself on a consistent basis, and the last time I had walked in during one of those spurs of the moment, was perhaps years and years ago.

Wish me luck.

If you are a close friend, pray hard.

Your Christmas surprises depend heavily on this.

***

I am quite gripped by my book.

Quite an easy read for its short and crisp chapters, littered with constant punches.

It is hardly surprising that I haven’t been blogging for these 2 days.

I had tore myself away from it, to do a quick recap, with this post.

So my day has been simple.

Read. Eat. Read. On the phone with SBB. Read. Blogging now.

Not forgetting how I had replenished my lost sleep last week with plenty of shut-eye time.

I slept earlier yesterday. 5am. But greeted the day when it was 4 plus in the afternoon.

Scary thing was, I found myself lusting for more sleep, which I cruelly forced myself away from, by springing up from bed, freshening myself up.

***

Confined myself to the comfort of my bed for most of my Sunday too.

It was almost a similar routine.

Slept at 6am(a great leap of improvement from my sleeping time of 1pm or 2pm), and woke up at -gasp- 5pm.

My disbelief was evident when I sat up from the bed, feeling light-headed and thought I had read the time wrongly.

I was sick.

***

Some weeks ago, over a meet up session with the ladies, we grazed topics that could be quite intelligent, besides the 3-lettered words we are always capable of.

One, was of severe infections, we ladies have to put up with.

When one of them spoke vividly of her worst infection, and another sharing her experiences of the incredible itch, I silently muttered a prayer of thanks that I didn’t have to go through that.

I shall not mention how I was suppressing a smirk of satisfaction and relieve that I didn’t have to go through any of those, in the worst possible way.

I cringed at the scary details spoke forth by them.

Like those of UTI and yeast infection.

I don’t know which is worse, cos I never quite have aggravated conditions of any of the above.

Mild, yes.

I think the glee in me, had brought me karma.

Imagine my horror when I found myself clenching my fist with enough force for my nails to pierce my palm, just to refrain myself from scratching.

Something was very wrong.

Thank goodness that when I was out over the weekend, the itch miraculously contained itself with much obedience.

But, it got worst when I got home, and I found (if you know me, please don’t read this) smashed-beancurd like(quote from Queen of Yeast) discharge when I was using the loo.

I shrilled 3 octaves higher than my normal pitch, and the mirror cracked into pieces.

No, I didn’t do that.

But, I was scared shitless alright?

I mean, yeap, I had yeast infection when I was younger, especially not long after I started puberty when I was 11, but never had it gotten this bad.

I called up my help frantically, and asked the queen for the SOP.

She gave me a few options of heading down to the pharmacy and grimly told me that my condition was bordering the line of the worst possible case, and it would itch like hell.

She warned me not to scratch if I didn’t want it to get bloody(or something to that effect).

And I was supposed to go commando to air it.

Freak. It sure did itch like hell, like the girls said it would.

And the infection weakened me quite a bit, and I later found out why.

I shall never be secretly in glee, and gloat over others’ misery again.

***

Was at the doctor’s instead, cos I needed to get my usual prescription since I ran out of them.

Quite understandably, I walked out of the clinic a much poorer woman.

I was amused to see the medication to stop the itch, is actually the same medication for runny nose.

I can’t see the connection here, but it sure tickles me.

Was given some oral medications to fight it, too.

And something to stick up myself.

I was told my immune system was down, down, down.

The lack of fluids and lack of sleep broke down my immune system’s defense.

Bleah.

-50 bucks for present-shopping.

Well done.

***

I know how ironic this may sound, but sticking the pill up myself was way excruciating than the tampon incident in Sepang during MotoGP.

I swear I was almost tearing from the frustration.

I just.. couldn’t.

Don’t ask me why, cos it seems like such impossible feat.

But I struggled for 20 minutes, before 1/3 of the pill became powdery before my agony was ended.

Ouch ouch.

Sore and bruised.

***

Had dinner across the street at the usual coffee shop, before making my way to Bukit Batok West Mall to do some book shopping.

Even the usually quiet mall was bustling with much life, which was something I really dreaded.

Did some usual necessity shopping before making my way to the bookshop, browsing aimlessly, not knowing what to buy.

Returned one of my books before settling for yet another.

Dad called.

I had called him earlier, telling him that my air-conditioner was leaking(gee, everything just has to go against me huh?!).

He didn’t find me at home, and I told him I was out, after a trip to the clinic. He had wanted to pick me up, but I told him I would be back soon.

Back home, he tried to persuade me to follow him back to Johor, so at least there would be someone taking care of me, and that I would eat well.

The thought of being stuck in that emotionless place, put me off.

I rebutted light-heartedly that I am used to the solitude for 7 years and I am still surviving, means that I wouldn’t be found dead in the apartment anytime soon, and he shouldn’t keep worrying about me.

But which parent wouldn’t worry, right?

I know.

He called to check on me again today, and I really do appreciate it.

***

Slept for only 3 hours before I was woken up by SBB‘s call on Saturday 8am.

Following Friday’s pattern, I couldn’t sleep thereafter, and I was awake till… 1.30pm, before I caught another couple of hours of sleep till 3.

I got up for a day of Christmas shopping with Finicky Feline.

The first time we get together since her trip to the beautiful Beijing.

She told me how beautiful it was, and how much memorable memories she had brought back together with her.

I will love the place, she says, cos I speak like them.

No, I don’t.

Orchard was insane with all the crowd. I was pretty much intimidated.

I think sometimes, when I ain’t feeling that well, it becomes a superficial place I couldn’t quite keep up with.

We had lunch at Scott’s, before making our way to Far East and Lucky Plaza for some Christmas shopping.

We managed to get a thing or 2. Or 3.

Not enough.

We jaywalked over to Takashimaya’s side, and we were thirsty.

We walked into Coffee Bean just for the free water, but the flask sensed our evil vibes and went on a strike.

We headed for Kinokuniya, where we spent the most amount of time, searching aimlessly.

Bumped into Adrianne, my primary school classmate and her husband.

I left there empty-handed.

***

There wasn’t much time for us to shop, cos I was bluffed into agreeing to head down Zouk with her for the Canon DV Fest.

Vince had invited FF, and she had asked me to tag along.

Thanks Vince! You were really great in it.

FF and I were looking for the washroom, when someone came up to ask if we needed help. We declined with a smile, and as I walked away, I did a double take, before the surprise on the girl’s face registered too.

‘Eh! Tingting jiejie!’ she called out.

I cringed at the family’s address.

My cousin, who had bloomed into a young lady in junior college.

We were in there looking at E.I.C., who thrilled us more than any of those so-called celebrities did.

Um, and that guy in grey suit, whose name I didn’t quite have the guts to know.

As much as I pulled FF back when she pretended to wanna go up to ask him over, and threatened that I would severe my friendship with her if she ever did that, I guess I would silently smirk in glee if she actually did.

We left early and walked to VampTreSS’ place, where we saw her topless.

Woooohooooo.

Big big.

As FF and I laid in bed together, we all spoke of younger males and I sheepishly admitted that a 12 year-old boy was looking at me on the bus the day before, and I held his gaze inquisitely, puzzled.

Gosh. That’s so wrong!!!!

I sound so sick!

But but but, he stared at me, didn’t he?

I was more puzzled by his intense stare than anything else, ya know?

No lust at all, okay?

And, from the day’s constant gawking at the female species, I have a feeling that I am beginning to feel the lesbian vibes in me rocketing high.

***

Kelvin and Nick picked us up from Vamp’s place, and we all headed down to Holland Village by Kelvin’s car.

I was almost running low on fuel as we sat at Coffee Club, with dark eye rings so obvious that it would put Alex Barros to shame.

Roy saw it almost the moment he sat down, and asked if I hadn’t had enough sleep recently.

Positive.

I mumbled my way through conversations.

I was flicking my tongue during one of those conversations, and someone commented I would be quite good at if I were to become a lesbian.

See, I told ya the force is strong with this one.

Later, Roy made a comment about my tongue and lips that I should make good use of.

I eyed him suspiciously and laughed.

I AM making good use of them.

Just not enough.

*Cough*

***

The smirk and the lick of the lips are emerging more freuquently these days when delicious topics come up.

And we are unaware of such reaction, too.

(Only the girlies would know what this mean)

Oh no.

Tsk tsk.

***

We adjourned to King Albert Park MacDonald’s thereafter.

At the carpark, Kelvin was made 50 bucks poorer, and Nick, 8 bucks.

Woops.

Summon.

I joked to VampTreSS that everyone seems to be losing something.

Season of bankruptcy, indeed.

***

We stayed on till 3 plus, before making our ways back home.

Very tired.

No wonder the 11 hours of sleep.

***

Went out to City Hall on Friday, with only 4 hours of sleep(3pm-7pm), and waited more than half an hour for Raf’s arrival, before we made our way down to Clarke Quay.

Ministry of Sound, you see.

I had quite dreaded the events, as I told Janise the night before, cos I seriously didn’t think I was up to any serious clubbing.

But Vamp was keen and had persuaded me to join her with some of the girlies from the Thumper’s event. I relented, and I had thought of asking Raf down together.

Vamp had very smartly told us that she would only head down, after we check if the queue was long or not.

Quite sensibly, it gotta be absolute madness.

We told her, and she decided not to join us. It wouldn’t make much sense for us to go ahead either, would it?

And it was insanely packed that we didn’t even bother to try.

We had dinner, and sat around for a while for a chat. Haven’t seen her around for the longest time, and it was sure a great pleasure to see her again.

Feroz came to pick her up to head to Zouk, where his colleagues would be there.

Being really broke, I decided not to join, and headed for the bus stop, for the Nightrider home, slightly past 12 midnight.

Didn’t expect my Friday night to be such a short-lived one.

***

I fastened my pace and headed for the traffic lights.

Raf had said she was right in front of Funan IT Mall.

Suddenly, I heard hurried footstep behind me, and a guy sprang from behind, and stood right before me, blocking my path.

Hi, I know you!

Oh no. Sensing he might be someone who reads this space, I instinctively covered my rash-filled face, touched my limp, greasy hair, and shielded my tired, soul-less eyes.

No, no, no. I am not! I am not… (I almost spilled my own name and held my tongue in time)! No no no!

Yah! You are! I read your blog! You are… um.. Ting right?

I relented and ceased to put up a weak defense.

After a brief introduction over handshakes, the young, tall, fresh-faced chap is 20 year-old Victor.

Though you gave me the fright of my life, thanks for stopping by to say hi. I would much prefer that, actually. Heh.

The small talks got a bit awkward cos I am a bum when it comes to social skills, and I was trying to look at the floor cos I was too shy(!!) to look up to him. A

Throw in the occasional nervous giggle, and I was an outright mess.

He has young, boyish looks, and I almost thought he was too underaged to read my blog.

Tsk tsk tsk.

Just right then, Raf crossed over the road, and I introduced the 2 of them to each other, before we bade goodbye to him.

***

Raf and I saw a delicious looking German by the ATM.

Just when I bade goodbye to Raf for good for that very same night, it was just 4 or 5 steps after I gave her a goodbye hug and ventured onto my way, when he appeared.

He wasn’t quite tall, slightly taller than me, and not-too-bad looking.

In fact, he reminded me of a dutch friend of mine.

Yes, the very one who might be reading this right now.

As I was approaching the bus stop, stepping away the buzzing side of Clarke Quay, I heard hurried footsteps behind me, again.

Hello!

I turned to my left and there, he stood.

I smiled politely and returned the greeting.

Where are you heading?

I gave a confused look, and smiled, ‘Home?‘

Is you home faraway from here?

I laughed, ‘Yeap, relatively far.‘

How are you going back?

Er… by bus?

A brief talk later, he revealed that he is actually from the Netherlands.

Ah, no wonder the resemblance, I thought quietly to myself.

You sure you don’t want to stay out?

Nah, I am too tired to, anyway.

I am not familiar with Singapore, may I know where I can go…?

I gave him directions to some of the clubs in Singapore, and since MOS was too packed to squeeze even a bee in, I told him of other alternatives.

I walked on, and I was surprised he didn’t turn to other directions, and followed me instead.

Eventually he asked.

You sure you don’t want to stay?

No, I am heading home.

You sure you want to go home?

Yeap.

You sure you want to go home alone?

Er.. yeah, of course.

I smiled and waved bye before I walked away, a tad nervously this time.

As I replayed the scenerio in my mind over and over again, I realised what he had been trying to say.

He was asking if he could come home together with me.

Eek.

Stupid me.

I tried calling Raf, and then asked her to stay on the phone with me.

Eventually I told her the description of the guy, and she asked if the guy was wearing flip-flops, cos she just saw a guy who resembles Coen walking past her.

I wasn’t quite positive, until when I was on the bus, and saw the same guy roaming along the streets.

On his feet, were a pair of flipflops.

Alright.

Mr Dutchman is cute, albeit a tad too sleazy.

I wonder if I responded that I was taking a cab, would he have asked if he could follow me home.

I was just glad I was on the bus safely, with a nice cosy seat as I took a long ride home.

***

FF was back from China that night, and coincidentally, when she told me about this guy she sat next to on the flight, he ended up to be someone I know, and had blogged about recently.

Very recently, in fact.

In fact, I even joked about me having a crush on him.

Truth is, I had met the guy over a huge group-supper half a year ago, and he sat right opposite to me.

Gee. What a small world.

***

My Surprise broke down on me on Friday!

Surprise, is its name. Given by SBB the person who bestowed Surprise to me.

So sad was me.

I was wondering if water(or whatever) had sept into it and caused it to went into a seizure.

I dejectedly tried to twist it to life, but it wouldn’t.

I understand someone’s(one of the girlies) woe couple of months back.

I pouted and sulked a little, before I rushed to get some batteries out of the camera.

A twist, and it buzzed to life.

I beamed in delight as I held it, and felt its violent force, with more strength than before.

So happy kicked sadness, and happy(and whatever thereafter) was me, again.

***

I really have no idea what to get for people around me for Christmas.

Really.

I am going crazy.

Someone gave me a brilliant idea today and I might do just that.

I think I might choose JB as my Christmas shopping location.

Hehehehehehehehehehehehe.

Anyone wanna join me there?

I shall resolve to wake up at 12.30pm tomorrow.

***

I launched a hunt-down for my old schoolmates from UK.

I managed to locate Mumin and Azlan and some of the others!

So happy!

***

It is the season of sharing again.

Thanks Xiuzhao, for the E-card and the lovely email you dropped.

Thanks Faith, for the fabulous nice card, you never failed to send it through post, these couple of years.

And even Andrea(the nice chap from Italy), had sent an E-card, which brightened up my day, definitely.

Did I mention that, I love wordy Christmas cards?

They never fail to bring avanlanches of emotion.