NOT A BED OF ROSES, BUT….

Such is life. Life is such.

What a start to the 2nd half of the year.

Darn.

I don’t need to repeat how screwed my life bodyclock is.

How do you define obsession?

You are dead tired, dying to catch some rest after supper at Selegie, yet couldn’t fall asleep at all, cos you have yet to blog.

*Curse curse swear swear*

Speaking from personal experience, obviously.

So, despite having only 3 hours of nap yesterday(it’s still ‘today’ to me), I am wide awake, churning out this entry.

I am really tired.

Really.

Pardon me if I don’t make sense at all in this post. Cos, my brain isn’t really working.

Alcohol kills brain cells.

No worries. I have lots to spare.

I didn’t manage to sleep at all last night, with all the issues bugging me, and could only sneak in a short rest at 2pm in the afternoon.

It was barely 3 hours, before I got up to prepare for the evening out.

Somehow, talking to Friend A over the phone, kinda made me feel terrible all over again.

She’s not the only one who is going through all these.

And I couldn’t help but start to feel the angst within me to claim membership to the guy-bashers club.

Yet, I didn’t.

Cos I was set into a deep, reflective mood for the rest of the evening.

What a party-pooper, you say.

How I agree.

Maybe, I was pretty apprehensive of crowds.

It was horrible feeling one after another, when I travelled to Holland Village to meet up with Janice, who was already sipping tea, downing ice-cream at N.Y.D.C..

Met up with FF, who picked me up from my long walk from the MRT station(thanks babe!). Sadly, I didn’t make it for my *cough* special haircut, nor did we have the extra zest to do some *cough cough* bunny shopping.

It was a harsh day with lotsa thoughts sneaking attacks at me, and I was trapped in a state of confusion for most of the evening.

Had some lingering thoughts faraway too.

Hope you’re doing well, my dear.

Which was evidently obvious to all those who were there.

Tsk.

Now you know why the word irritating has Ting in it.

BUT!

As the night drew to its conclusion, I was one happy bunny(without a bunny, though *chuckles*).

And no, I didn’t get bonk.

Life is not a bed of roses, BUT THERE ARE ALWAYS….

ROSE #1: JAZZY BROWNIE TO SAVE THE DAY

I am a known chocolate junkie.

Dinner was a heart-warming home-cooked dinner by Mum, delivered to me from Malaysia, by Daddy dearest.

It was supposed to be lunch, but.. oh well.

I could hardly resist the Jazzy Brownie with ice-cream when the 3 of us were at N.Y.D.C..

Ah… a strong shot of chocolate does perform miracles.

I am one satisfied lady.

Cravings-wise only.

***

ROSE #2: EYE CANDIES TO REBOOT THE EXHAUSTED EMOTIONS

Wooo! Hell yeah!

So, did we say that guys are not-so-trustworthy?

Okay, fine, I know ‘not-so-trustworthy’ is an understatement.

Still, deprived ladies like us we adore them so.

Ventured up to Wala Wala after desserts, and the immediate view as we proceeded up the stairs drew my breath away.

Who’s that cutie with such magnetic voice singing?!

Awww……..

Joel, I was told.

My gaze lingered longer than it should, and he turned. Our eyes met across the club.

Sheesh. Bleah. So embarrassing to be caught checking guys out.

Not bad, quite cute.

Before long, we found a vacant table, right beside this group of guys in white shirts, black pants.

Mandrake joined us shortly after, and we had a table of 4, all in black, in contrast to their table.

My focal point was fixed on the singer on stage, and one of the guys from the next table was in my view, too.

Muahaha, very cute.

I was looking in one direction, with 2 cuties in sight. Nice.

I could check out either one, pretending to be checking the other one shall one of them noticed my hungry stare thirst distant admiration.

My take was the guys in shirts are actually from OCS, whilst the others insisted not so.

Mandrake then commented they should be from Police.

The furious discussion then took a turn when PR-Queen, Janice, boldly approached the group, and asked where they were from cos we were ‘having a bet’.

I did a mini-punch in the air when I proved to be the only smart one of the group.

Sadly, the singer on the stage left before 9pm, and the guys in white shirts called it an early night and headed back to camp.

Awwwwwwwwwwww.

*disappointed pout*

My, my, my.

I am just glad they were not in their uniform.

CAN YOU BLARDY IMAGINE HOW THE 3-IN-BLACK HAD TO RESTRAIN ME IF THEY WERE?

ROARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Down, Ting, down.

***

ROSE #3: ACQUA DI GIO TO SEND THE PULSE RACING

Now, who doesn’t know I have an insatiable lust for people who wears Acqua Di Gio perfume?

People who are close to me are pretty aware how I would walk on the street, and would lose my sense if I get a whiff of it.

I would e-brake in my path, and dramatically go ‘who?’, with my head turning in all directions to find the culprit who tickled my fantasy.

It is one scent that I find incredibly sexy.

It was while we were sitting down, feeling incredibly empty cos the 2 eye-candies had since left. I was suddenly refreshed by the familiar whiff.

‘YOU WEARING ACQUA DI GIO?!‘ I widened my eyes as I interrogated Mandrake, who was sitting right next to me.

He was pretty traumatised when he whimpered a soft ‘Yah..‘ uncertainly.

*Gasp gasp gasp*

It was then, we were joined by Postmaster-General, and Vincent(Ruok).

Vincent then took a seat right next to me, between me and Mandrake.

I was rattling on about Acqua Di Gio, when my nose was tickled by the familiar scent, again.

But, it came across as slightly sharper, less woody than the first whiff from Mandrake.

Postmaster-General then said he was wearing Acqua Di Gio when we asked what cologne he was using.

*DOUBLE GASPS!!*

I then let out a ‘Oh he wearing Acqua Di Gio, too!‘ as I pointed towards Mandrake.

Vincent, who thought I was talking about him, asked how did I know he was wearing Acqua Di Gio.

*TRIPLE GASPS!!*

3 guys with Acqua Di Gio scent.

Woohoo.

These guys. Tsk tsk.

ROARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

It was my 2nd dose of mood-perking pills.

How nostalgic eh?

***

ROSE #4: BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE, WONDERFUL COMPANY.

Self-explanatory.

The night was a no-stress event, with familiar faces, beautiful people with even more beautiful hearts.

Janice, FF, Mandrake, Tetanus, JaneDoe, Vamptress, Roy, Vincent, Postmaster-General, Anonymous X, and me.

Everyone was chirpy, enjoying the band, enjoying the evening.

Such effortless communications, which put everyone at ease.

Sweet.

***

ROSE #5: HOEGAARDEN

I would like to make a thrilling announcement!

WOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

YIPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

On the last day of 1st half of 2005, after 24 years, 3 months and 23 days….

TING HAS FINALLY FINISHED HALF A PINT OF BEER!

BY HERSELF!

And yes, Hoegaarden had claimed my beer-drinking virginity.

Despite the fact that Janice had stole sips from my glass, I was determined not to shortchange this achievement.

Hence, I stole sips from FF’s glass to make up for it.

See! Such perseverence.

And yes, Miss Scarlett Ting has never ever drank much beer.

And it was a superduperextramegamajor achievement for her!

Wheeeeeeeeeee!

I would like to thank the above people who were present to witness the special occasion, and put up with my post-alcohol crankiness.

Told ya I am allergic to alcohol.

And yes, I wasn’t called Scarlett for nothing.

It was year 1998 in London, on a cold, cold evening.

It was International students’ day, and I drank a SIP(yes, one blardy sip only) from my friend’s bottle of Hooch.

I was all flushed, with accelerating heartbeat telling me what a crap drinker I am.

My then Law lecturer, Mr Norman, came up to me, asking me how much I had drank, and if I was hammered.

Just a sip, I proudly declared.

Do I look drunk, I pressed.

‘Yes Josephine(yes, Josephine makes up the Joe in Joewei), you are absolutely scarlet!‘

Scarlett O’Hara, I was reminded of.

Anyway.

Look how I blushed from just that bit of beer.

When I finally took the last sip from the glass. I cheered at my wonderful accomplishment.

Welcome to adulthood, I gave myself a pat on the back.

Of course, I shall not mention how I traumatised everyone who was present with my touching renditions of Doraemon song, and Twinkle Twinkle Potamus.

Yes, I stubbornly insisted they should all hush to listen to my fantabulous singing.

I shall not bring up how I was giggling and spewing gibberish when intoxicated(less than half a glass!).

I shall not shed light on how I was ALMOST falling asleep with my heavy eyelids threatening to seal.

I shall not let known how I was feeling the highstool swaying, and was at the risk of falling off the chair.

BUT! I survived it all!

*Punch fist in the air victoriously*

It is easy-peasy for you guys, but not for me, alright!

***

ROSE #6: PORN QUEENS(OF ALL SORTS) TO SIZZLE UP THE NIGHT

FF is known for her ‘yamate’ Koren/Japanese porn star looks.

With her pussy puss-in-boots, innocent, pleading eyes.

Whilst JaneDoe, has the seductive, come-to-bed eyes to complete the porn star looks. A totally different air from FF, giving FF a run for her money.

Then, we were treated to a very tantalising picture of Vamptress, very artistically taken, in a spaghetti top, looking intensely into the camera.

WOW WOW WOW.

Representative for sensual porn.

Janice is made for lesbian porn.

No contest for that, eh?

As for me?

I can’t remember.

But I think I heard brief mentions of ‘cock-sucking’, ‘blowjob’ which aren’t exactly youth-friendly for explicit mentions my site.

Seriously, I can’t remember.

Must be the alcohol.

I also can’t remember when we discussed about our nipples.

Yes, you heard it. *Cringe*

Girls’ talk, ya know?

It’s no wonder why all the guys look like they have the perverted-look with their tiny eyes. Typical ‘hamsup‘ look.

Cold showers, anyone?

***

ROSE #7: GUYS WHO ROCK… SOMETIMES.

This gotta be one of the most touching things friends had done for me.

Feeling rather foul and deprived and lonely and crappy and confused, I was trapped in my circles of thoughts.

Asked myself several questions repeatedly and the sappy songs weren’t exactly helping much.

The girl sitting at the table behind us were holding on to this bouquet of red flowers.

In jest, I pouted to Janice and lamented, ‘Eeee, she has flowers, I don’t.‘

Not that I was seriously jealous, but I was just in an anything-also-must-pick-on to lament on my un-belonged status, sulkish mood.

When was the last time I received flowers?

On the weekend before my birthday!

And that was because I lamented how I only received flowers twice(only once, was it a bouquet) in my almost 3 years with Mr Ex in my blog, and Mr BR had got it sent to my then workplace.

(Mr Ex: Eh, if you reading this, and that I had remembered wrongly, do let me know, and I will do you more justice. *giggles*)

I ain’t sure what happened, but Postmaster-General had asked her what I had just said, and the two of them exchanged a few sentences, before eagerly scooted out of Wala Wala, to God-knows-where.

Before long, *Grrrrrrrr…* another girl had came into Wala Wala, carrying a bigger bouquet.

These detestable people.

I turned to FF, asking what’s with the girls and flowers, sounding terribly sour over the fact that I was deprived of all sorts of pampering.

The girls attributed it to the fact that Acqua Di Gio awakens the dormant hormones and I was in need of some actions romance.

*Nod nod*

Mother of all horrors.

Before I knew it, a beaming Janice sprung behind me, and stuffed this into my face:

HOW SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

The two of them saw the sulky dejected Ting, and Postmaster-General was awfully, awfully thoughtful to get me a big bouquet(ha! Mine was biggest, alright?!) of orange(yeay! I never had orange roses before, ya know?) roses.

12 of them!

They even gotten individual stalks for those present.

So sweet right?!

Life is not a bed of roses, but there are always people around to spare you a rose or two.

A dozen even.

The incredibly saccharine gesture was really touching.

And no, it’s not what you guys are thinking.

It was just a very platonic gesture of wanting to cheer a friend up, that’s all.

Such wonderful people.

I sprang up to life with the sweet scent from the Acqua Di Gio roses, with the chemical reactions from the Hoegaarden boosting my spirits for the evening.

Thanks. Really heart-felt thanks.

It wasn’t the roses. But the efforts of people put in to be bothered about your emotions.

Awww…

At least, I don’t feel that guys suck all the time.

Such a sweetie.

All the girls’ hearts melted.

Guys out there, are you furiously taking down notes?

You better do.

And, the sweetie in Vincent, gave me an assuring hug to make things better.

Thanks darling. *beams*

(Woops, no picture of him cos I don’t have some of the pictures yet.)

And the very generous Mandrake, who allowed us to touch his man-boobs freely.

Last but not least, the free for all male model for the night for all the glamour shots.

That lucky basket.

Guys don’t suck all the time, do they?

Not these brilliant friends, anyway.

***

ROSE #8: THE GIRLIES WHO PROVIDE ALTERNATIVES….

*Cough*

I am not sure if I am darn deprived or something.

For the first time EVER in my life, I find a female sexually attractive, besides Angelina Jolie.

And, I think I am having a crush on her.

*Bites lower lip nervously*

How?!?!?!?!

Tsk. The dormant lesbian tendencies in me is brewing. Hurhurhur.

Hell yeah, I sure am showing the signs.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPS.

Last night, perhaps due to the Hoegaarden, I found the lead singer, Shirlyn, exceptionally captivating.

Incredibly sexy.

Unbelievably hot.

Freaking charismatic.

And THAT voice. Woohoo.

And yeap, it was a SHE.

I was then told, she is in fact, a lesbian.(CLARIFICATION: Gee, apparently, the rest had provided me with wrong information *throws hard stare at them* and she is in fact, straight. She has a boyfriend, too. Ouch.)

WOOOHOO. I got chance, ya know?

FF and I couldn’t stop gushing over her.

And, karma struck.

I was having flutters and was keen on taking a picture with her.

Tetanus then approached her to tell her that I wanted so.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SUCH EMBARRASSMENT.

I swear I blushed!

And peeps, here is my(and FF’s) new crush.

She sings good.

I have something for people who are musically-inclined, remember?

Like how my ex-boyfriends were musically-trained.

Awww..

Tell me we look good together.

She’s cute.

So cute.

Wait a minute, it must be the alcohol.

I shall now sleep my butterflies in the tummy feelings away.

Out.

***

Now, being much more sober, I am cringing terribly when I think back how much an embarrassment I was last night.

Hoegaarden is evil, I tell you.

Muahaha.

Still, yeay! I finished half a pint by myself, ya know?

Quick, tell me I am a good drinker.

*SMIRK*

And yes, thoughts were already sorted out.

Yay.