THE LONG POST ABOUT… EVERYTHING

To start this long delayed post(very tired, very lazy, very lethargic, very no mood…), I shall start with something… *drums roll* sensational.

It will get scarier.

Especially when there are gonna be tons of pictures of makeup-less Ting.

Then again, since it will be twirled, it would not as be frightening as untwirled Ting.

Muahahaha.

Just moments ago, I got home from town after meeting up with Janice.

Sans makeup. Since I got out of the house pretty last minute, and I was getting lazy with piling my face with layers and layers of powder.

It was an impromptu arrangement, and we finally made our way down to Swensen’s at Marina Square for the long-awaited freeflow ice-cream!

Main course plus free flow of ice-cream!

We asked for the ice-cream to be served before the main course, and OoooooooooooMmmmmm.

Despite it being freeflow, Janice only managed 3 scoops, while I, completed 4.

We will be back for more, definitely.

Anyone interested to join us?

Weekdays, 2.30pm – 5.30pm, by the end of this month.

Leave a comment to set an appointment.

While having our meal, we bumped into the boss of the eatery right next to Savoir, who introduced himself to us, for the first time.

I have no idea why, but he came across as a rather reserved person during our stints there, so the friendliness came as a surprise.

We strolled around the entire Marina Square, Suntec, Millenia Walk area.

The security guard at Ritz-Carlton actually invited us in to check out the hotel cos he saw us taking pictures outside.

Despite us not being hotel guests, he was extremely friendly, and told us the nicer places around the hotel that we should take a walk and have a look.

Nice.

We later checked out Balaclava. Went in, came out, swift.

I had to retrain the drooling girl, who was enticed by the sights of guys with their butts wrapped in tight, tailored pants.

***

Oh, I promised something sensational, yuh?

A drooling Janice is not what I meant, definitely.

And no, the picture of me savouring the sticky chewy chocolate is definitely not meant to be sensational either.

The highlight of the night is…… *drums roll*

I was STALKED.

*GASP*

*Cues X-file tune*

Actually, *sheepish* not really.

Was on the train back home from City Hall, and the slightly packed train meant my sore feet had to carry my weight for rest of the journey.

Read my magazine to pass time on the train.

It was Raffles Place MRT when some executives sept into the cabin.

As the journey went on, I could feel someone looking at me, for a pretty long while, as if studying me, or waiting for me to look up.

Our eyes met, and he tried to hold it for quite some time.

I dipped into my read again.

After a couple of stops, I darted to the side of the door, which by then had cleared, to lean against the glass panel.

After a few stops, the glass panel opposite me was cleared, and the man took the place, hence, facing me.

I looked up, and saw the bespectacled guy looking at me.

Feeling utmost insecure about myself cos it was feel-bad makeupless day, I lowered my head and paranoid thoughts of some wardrobe malfunction or something was wrong.

I rubbed my nose instinctively just in case some goo was hanging out of my nostrils or such.

He was vertically-challenged. 1.6m? Decent looking.

Very nicely dressed.

Carried off the white shirt well.

Whenever I looked up to look at the station-names, I would notice him still observing me, making no attempts to hide it.

Finally, my stop.

I got off, and *GASP* he followed.

I could hear the taps from his working shoes behind.

Down the escalators, out of the barriers, out of the station.

*Tick tock tick tock tick tock*

Not the clock, his shoes.

My stop is a rather quiet stop, you see.

I could hear him pretty near behind me.

Of all time, my phone was out of battery, and totally concussed.

I got real panicky and slowed my pace. I could see people overtaking me, but the audible paces echoed mine.

As I struggled up the overhead bridge, I saw from the reflections that he was right behind me, making no attempts to overtake me.

I felt weird knowing someone was staring right at my butt as I ascended up the steps.

With my fear for steps, I was meticulous when I snailed down the stairs.

He didn’t bother to overtake me either!!

*Cues CSI Miami theme music*

I arrived at the electronic gates to my estate, and whipped out my access card to activate the gates.

I heaved a sigh of relief, until I heard a *TEE* right behind me, and the unmistakable taps was once again, audible.

OOOOOOOKKKKKAAAAYYYY.. so the guy stays here too.

SOOOO he wasn’t a stalker afterall.

Muahahahahha.

Me and my paranoia at work again.

Woops.

Just when I let down my guard, I walked to the path leading to my block. A pretty dark path, flanked by bushes.

‘Hey!’

I turned.

Mr Shortie Not-so-tall stalker Neighbour was there.

‘You stay here?‘

‘Yes I do..‘

‘You too?‘

‘Yup..‘

‘I am Richard.‘

‘Ting.‘ A quick but firm handshake was exchange.

‘How long have you been staying here?‘

‘10 years?‘

‘Oh, that’s long, I have never seen you around before.’

That’s because I don’t wear makeup around here, you doofus.

‘Yah, I am seldom around.. ‘

‘So which block do you stay?‘

With that sheepish look on his face, he sheepishly spitted out ‘F‘.

I laughed. ‘Eh? Shouldn’t F be at the other side?‘

‘Yeah, actually it is…‘ followed by chains of embarrassed laughters to cover his tracks.

‘So how long have you been staying here then?‘

‘3 years.‘

Yes, he shouldn’t be on this path, at all, and by then, we reached the end of the not-so-long path.

‘See ya around some other time.‘

‘See ya, bye.‘

I turned towards my direction, and as if remembering something, he said, ‘This is my card, you can contact me.‘

Still, it is creepy to have someone staring at you for so long, and later turns out to be your neighbour.

Not to mention I already have an irritating Spanish neighbour whom I bumped into at Attica again last night.

Argh.

***

The main reason I met up with Janice today was simply because my handphone was with her.

The very kind lady even helped me with checking my incoming messages.

So, I called Sean with my house phone this afternoon, but he was still asleep, asking if he wanna join us for some ice-cream indulgence.

He replied me by SMS over mobile, saying that he was asleep and was unable to answer my call, and Janice received it on my behalf.

Here comes the juicy details.

She whipped out her phone.

‘Sean msg u saying he was sleeping when you called..‘

SHE SENT IT TO MY PHONE, WHEN MY PHONE WAS RIGHT IN HER BAG!!

*GASP IN AWE DRAMATICALLY*

Well done baby, well done.

Now, since I already made her out like a doofus, I will feel better talking about myself.

Phew.

I got home at around 2 plus in the morning, only to realise my phone was no longer with me.

Despite being badly intoxicated, I managed to recall Janice’s phone number by heart and called her.

I asked her to look around the premises for it since she’s still there.

Funny thing is, I wasn’t panicking nor anything, though the thought of losing some important SMSes did bring in some disappointment.

I was ready to let go of the emotional attachment I have for anything in regards to the phone when I dialed her number.

But…

‘I believe in miracles..’

She found it on a table which we had sat at earlier on.

We sat there at 1 plus, to be exact.

It’s a blardy miracle that my phone sat there unthreatened, unharmed, safe, and untouched after being left abandoned for an hour!

Maybe it’s because it’s old, tattered, and worn.

I will never get THAT sloshed, again.

What can I say? I am infected with doofusism. No prize for guessing who passed it on to me.

***

Talking about being wasted.

Despite being a really tiring Wednesday for Janice and I, we arranged to meet to go where else, Attica, again.

I met up with Raf earlier to head to Far East Square for some Maggie Goreng, and the hospitality the old friends there had shown me, was very much appreciated.

I kinda miss working there, actually.

We walked the long route to Clarke Quay to meet up with Janice, and her online pal, who requested to have his identity withheld from the blogging community.

I was in one of my quiet moods, and was rather hesitant about turning up to meet a stranger.

Eventually, I was perceived as being rather hostile cos I was dreamy and distant for the night. *laughs*

But thanks to my pals who were rather understanding.

They were already in Attica when we reached.

I suffered a huge dent to my ego, when I saw an extremely cute lad, and Jumail responded, ‘He is too young for you la! Young boy. You’re already antique..’

*ROARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR*

And you thought that was all. Wait till you hear what Terry said(read on towards the end of the entry).

It was quite a boring night for me, actually. Or rather, I wasn’t exactly in the mood to party.

Then again, with the 2 babes, it was hard not to feel enough consolation.

We bumped into Jean, an ex-customer who dropped by for lunch pretty often in the past, and his friends.

They bought us a round of kamikazes, which Raf skipped cos she was down with a bad throat.

Insanely, the not-very-good-drinker Ting downed 2 shots in a row on her behalf.

Not long after, I downed another shot.

3 in a row.

Something I never had tried.

By then, I was already slightly tipsy.

All I remember was David(the shorter one) waved us over to introduce some flirt male artiste to us.

Some guy whom Raf used to go ga-ga over in her younger days.

I think he was trying to airkiss me and it got rather hilarious cos our heads went towards the same directions. Pretty embarrassing.

Not very impressive, I would say.

But still, he managed to get Jacelyn Tay last time, ya know!

We went out to the open to sit around for a while, and that was when the doofus left her phone on the table.

After that, went back into the club. Was standing around, feeling rather bored, and decided I should be heading off early.

Bade David(the taller one) goodbye, and he offered to get us another drink to stay on for a while more.

And bam! It was kamikaze number 4 for the night. In less than half an hour, I would deem.

Vile, very vile.

I was slowly… slowly… falling… asleep….

My world was slowly blacking out.

Wasn’t drunk, and I was still walking in a straight line, just that the alcohol was making me too tired and sleepy.

I finally left with Raf to take a taxi home.

Got home with my world spinning. I struggled to bathe, remove makeup.. and not forgetting to check my blog for any updated interaction.

I managed to hold 2 MSN conversations, and my eyelids were really heavy.

Halfway through, I fell asleep, as I warned Kenny I would. Muahaha.

Totally sloshed.

But I was more of sleepy than drunk.

Tsk tsk. No good.

***

Ahem. The guy who offered to whisk me to some exotic island messaged.

‘When are you going to let me take you away ’

What should I say? Someone teach me, please.

***

Bitter addiction. I gotta fight it.

Cold turkey, I shall.

I gotta pull myself outta it. Fast.

***

Alright. Here we come to the gist of the entry.

(Bleah, I am just waiting to get over with the entry and done with. Lazy, lazy me)

It was a pretty Wednesday morning.

The time? 7.15am.

I was wide-awake, fresh from 7 hours of sleep.

Yay. I was sleeping normal hours.

It was then an extensive train ride from Jurong, to Punggol.

I am rather pleased with myself that I managed to complete the trip solely by the train, with no aide from cab or anything.

For a moment, I thought I was on another planet or something when I alighted.

Met up with Janice at the station, and all that greeted us was a quiet, soul-less town.

Peepz, welcome to Punggol.

And the very deserted interchange.

We waited for Terry to pick us up, but he was 25 minutes late from the scheduled 9.15am.

But of course, that didn’t bother us much cos we were busy whoring ourselves for the camera.

Everything became my props.

I had unsuccessfully squeezed into the babyseat at the back of the bicycle.

And finally, Terry turned up, and baby, it was my VIRGIN WAKEBOARDING TRIP!

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

*Jumps around in excitement*

It wasn’t too hot a day, and the weather was pretty perfect.

The serene surroundings were pretty, and we couldn’t resist being part of it.

I got rather tomboyish and was climbing onto the chain, and jumping onto the dividers and such.

Terry then led us to the boat.

Being not a very good photographer, Janice was unable to capture the moment I snuck up to Terry with him totally unaware, and it only managed to capture the candid moment when I look like a monkey.

Up the bridge that led us to the pier.

Before boarding the boat.

Janice and I on the boat, out at sea.

Me, the pilot.

Yah, right. I would most probably crash the boat even before it leaves the jetty.

Terry, our instructor for the day.

I particularly like this picture.

Terry asked if we had purchased any insurance and that wasn’t too kind a question to ask.

Muahahaha.

Cos I sheepishly replied I just lapsed mine.

Woops.

I went on to be the first to embarrass myself.

First, I got the gears on, and readied myself.

Saw the frown? So jittery.

And I was then left for dead.

I was told to enjoy the freeflow of sea water. Spoken like a true club-manager.

Not before I had some dry runs of what to do later on.

And my uncertainties were written all over my face.

May I present to you, Ting, and her 101 kooky expressions.

Signs that she’s not quite a brilliant learner.

Looking poutish, and giving my best expression of bambi-eyed.

Looking completely uncertain and sceptical.

Come to think of it, is it me, or the postures are all a tad vulgar.

And the picture on the right looks suspiciously as if like I was holding to… oh well, NEVERMIND.

MUAHAHAHA. SUCH SLEAZE.

Wakeboard turned Kama Sutra trip, this is not.

It wasn’t before long when I first flipped.

The kind of flip when you jumped up in the air, doing fanciful stunts and such.

NOT!

Flip into the water, more like it.

My feet were then forced out of the fitting, and Terry had to pull me back to the boat to readjust them.

And we had a hard time pulling my feet out cos it was too tight.

Hence, the yellow bottle of soap was used to help to lubricate my feet.

Sounds terribly scandalous now, isn’t it?

It doesn’t help that people thought this picture looks suspiciously like someone was trying to remove my panties or something.

Like, HELLO?!?!

Someone thought I fell down in this picture.

Kinda, actually. On the water.

It was fall after fall, and before I could grasp the basics, the overcasted sky decided to rain, heavily.

It was pouring, and it was almost impossible to carry on with wakeboarding.

Wakeboarding halted, but the fun didn’t.

I took off my top life jacket, and Janice jumped into the sea, and the both of us swam in the heavy downpour, in the middle of nowhere.

How liberating.

Especially when we felt the urge to pee… Wahahahaha.

If Terry wasn’t around, I might even consider skinny-dipping. *giggle*

It was great fun, and I like that part of swimming in the sea, very much.

Besides being our virgin wakeboard trip, it was also the first time.. I.. I.. wore a *cough* bikini.

Let’s just say nothing was too impressive, and my flabs around the waist are too obscene to be shown.

Janice was paranoid about her bits, and thus, the mosaics.

Sorry, no bikini pictures for you guys. I shy.

I like how the rain was falling on us, as we took a break from the swim, before we jumped back into the sea.

How fun.

Eventually, the rain seemed relentless. We took a break, and was back on shore.

And tummies were filled.

Janice was the next to go, and having an eye for the butt, she got excited over Terry’s perky one.

We were making private jokes about Terry’s butt throughout the day, actually.

Hardly surprising why, cos his boardshorts were riding low, and apparently, he went commando.
Muahahahaha.

Let’s take a closer look.

I assure you the original sight was much spectacular than this.

Eeee. We are so sick, right?

But, but, but, if guys can take pictures of girls’ cleavages and butt cracks(Sean, don’t forget what you MMS me the other day!), why can’t we?!

Janice doing her kamasutra dry run before getting into the action.

Janice was a much faster learner than I was, and she was on her feet pretty swiftly.

When she was getting back onto the boat, I had wanted to jump into the soothing sea for a short swim.

The clumsy one got to the side of the boat to slide into the water, but had slipped and *SPLISH SPLASH* fell into it.

Ugly sight, it must be.

It was then my turn, again, to continue where I left off.

I did manage to stand up, but then, sadly, the moment captured was the one I was about to fall.

Man, someone should tell me I was wakeboarding and NOT skating.

The man who responded to Raf and I outside Attica that very Wednesday night when she asked if I was a slow learner.

I could only mustered a very sheepish snigger.

He? He was rather assuring when he replied, ‘Nope.. she wasn’t that slow a learner,‘.

Just when I thought he was a brilliant gentleman, he continued.

‘Just an extremely slow learner.‘

Grrrrrrrrr…………………

Never die before huh!

But he was kind enough to give us such a fulfilling first lesson at absolutely no costs.

A very patient instructor, definitely. I mean, much is required when you are dealing with someone like, er, yours truly.

Muahaha.

It ended at 1pm, when I realised I was totally, obscenely late for my lunch appointment with Li Ming.

Which was at?

1pm.

Woops.

And it was a freezing and freaking expensive cab ride from Punggol to Ngee Ann Polytechnic(to drop Janice off), and then to Jurong.

Can die.

Thankfully, there was no scorching sun, and we both were sun-burnt free.

Still, I had splurts of rashes and rosy cheeks from the… er, almost non-existent sun that blusher is redundant for these couple of days.

Fun!

Whee!

Conclusion?

Someone should tell them to add more sugar to the sea.

It’s a tad too salty for my preference.

Body and muscle aches were pretty bearable, and I didn’t quite have much of those, compared to Janice.

In which Terry replied, ‘That’s because she’s more toned than you are.‘ to her.

Tact baby, tact.

If I wakeboard once a week, I am gonna be real healthy and slim down a lot.

If I wakeboard once a week, I am gonna be real unwealthy and my wallet will slim down a lot too.

***

Curb my addiction. I shall.

***

It’s intriguing to know how sickening people around us are.

How long can our patience last us?

I don’t know.

All I know is, it is running out.

Fast.