SOMEONE WANTS TO BONK ME

I ain’t telling who.

Over MSN.

Ting: Booooorrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeddddddddddddd
Him: Saaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmmmeeeeee
Ting: Entertain me!!

*Yak yak yak*

Before long, he went offline cos he finally had the urge to sleep and as I was busy plucking my armpit hair with some personal stuff, I didn’t manage to bid goodbyes. So, SMS took over.

Ting: Oi! So fast disappear? Good night!
Him: Yeah, suddenly have the urge to sleep.
Ting: Okay, hope you won’t be able to fall asleep so I won’t be the only one bored and awake. Hurhurhur. Good night.
Him: Evil! Next time I see you I will bonk you!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I reread the message that came in for 2 seconds, and burst into uncontrollable laughter.

I sounded very much like a lunatic in the middle of the night with such high decibels chuckles.

As I was typing my reply, the panicky one sent a message almost instantly as a follow-up.

Him: Shit.
Him: Shit, I meant bonk your head. LOL!
(Please don’t, my head will hurt. Ting sings: I just can’t get you outta my head… blarblarblar…)
Ting: Erm. !!!!!!!! I am so gonna blog about it.
Him: NoOooOOooOo =P
Ting: Die. YOU DIE. I am so gonna blog about it.
Him: Dun say I never entertain you. Oh crap; what have I got myself into?

Don’t worry Tet my friend, at least I won’t turn up at your doorstep in a yellow sundress(private joke).

Sorry darling, as much as I am deprived, I still have too much pride within to compromise my standards.

Oops.

***

Yes yes. I was informed about this.

But, tsk tsk, Mr Miyagi made a grave mistake.

I ran into the toilet with a bundle of nerves cos I was shy to meet him.

Yes, the secret is out.

Miyagi is my blog idol, not Kenny.

Sorry Kenny.

Aww…

Er, thanks for the mention though.

I hope KG doesn’t read TODAY. *fingers crossed*

***

I can remember the times I met up with friends, and my nerves just got in my way.

I was completely thrown off guard when Wanyi approached Raf in Forever 21, cos she recognised Raf from my blog.

And there I was, shopping, too.

I giggled and hid my face behind the piece of garment in my hands.

My first meetup with Gracie and Darlene last year was totally… disastrous.

I was hiding behind this pillar even though they had spotted me.

The meetup at Mambo?

I was hiding on top of the podium facing the main crowd, and just….. too…. too.. shy to face the bloggers when I was there.

It was quite rude, actually. Apologies for that.

That I refused to go up to say hi, and that I refused to turn towards them.

Hisreason would know how I was giggling nervously when Finicky Feline pulled me over to him when we first met.

My dearest buddy, Jiali, would remember how I was avoiding looking at her when I offered her a Rocher to establish a long-lasting friendship when we were 16.

My class of primary 1 kids stared at their new teacher who giggled for the 1st ten minutes of her first lesson, before she could compose herself to do some brief introduction.

Even in front of a class of well-acquainted classmates, I would squat down and hid behind the table and giggled nervously when I was experiencing severe stage fright.

I am worse with girls, than with guys.

WHAT IS BLARDY WRONG WITH ME?!?!?!?!

Of course, there are exceptions.

I am less shy with strangers, somehow.

As in those who are totally not going to cross my path in the future.

Servers and waiters are constantly teased and bullied by me, so much so that I need to be tamed.

Weird, weird, Ting.

Argh. Can someone give me some lessons on overcoming my nerves in social occasions?

This is getting too embarrassing.

Yes, I am blardy shy, can?

***

My sleeping pattern is so screwed these days.

I napped from 2pm-6pm yesterday(yes, I only fell asleep at 2pm from the day before!), and today? 6am to 4pm.

Tsk tsk. This is bad.

And the soccer games are keeping me up tonight.

And oddly, I wake up to a minor heart attack, everyday.

It’s alright.

I was told. Was still totally clueless. I didn’t see for myself. Didn’t have to, either.

I learnt to hear no evil, see no evil, and just, can’t be bothered with evil.

Certain things speak for themselves and I don’t intend to get into it anymore.

Clear conscience, I maintain.

Ai yah.. don’t care la.

Today, was a tad more severe. (No pun intended)

Cos it involved people who are close to my heart.

On Monday night, Friend A was out with someone who emailed her, and halfway through their movie, she messaged me to tell me she suddenly had some bad vibes of the guy she was with.

Feeling panicky and worried that she met up with a stranger, I asked her who she was with and didn’t have any respond from her. I told her to make her getaway as soon as the movie ended.

Thank God, nothing happened, and she told me the guy was pretty okay and didn’t mean harm.

She attributed the bad feeling to her being paranoid.

She was online yesterday, and told me about the guy had read my blog after my birthday, and had saw the both of us at Attica on my birthday.

And he had overheard me talking about some Mr Z4 back then, and then, coincidentally, surfed into blogosphere.

That roused my interest.

I started to kick myself for having too much a drop(erm, just a few sips of vodka orange, I swear) that night, and wondered how much other private stuffs the stranger had overheard.

She refused to tell me more cos she said we would talk over dinner cos she hadn’t met me for a long while, and thought of catching up. She had wanted to leave the topics as fillers over dinner.

A and I had planned to have dinner today, and I returned to her call, which I missed.

She was busy, and thus, asked for a raincheck for the dinner.

Since we decided not to meet up, she told me about the guy she met up over the phone.

How he had emailed her, and asked for the honour to date her.

In his words, ‘May I have the honour to date you?’.

How he had said he had saw us at Attica some months ago, on my birthday.

How he had said he remembered her. How he ‘anyhow’ surfed in.

How he had picked her up from her place.

How she thought he was a tad egoistic.

She then linked the trait of egoistic to the colour and make of car he was driving.

She believes guys’ characteristics are linked to the cars they drive.

The make and colour of car came as a shock. Nothing fanciful, but sounds uniquely familiar.

I pressed for the name.

I sweared.

I seldom do. But. Darn, I did.

***

Let’s rewind the time back to some months ago, Ting’s 24th, Attica.

Friend A and Friend B are both close friends of mine.

Both were invited, and attended.

B brought her boyfriend along.

Boyfriend was introduced to A.

Since that meeting, the couple of times I met up with the couple, he would bring up A and joked about her wearing a G-string(which was rather obvious from her bottom) in front of B.

Boyfriend is a joker, B is open to his female-related jokes, and we would laugh it off together.

I didn’t tell A about it back then cos I knew Boyfriend was pretty harmless and meant it as a joke.

***

And yes, you guessed it.

In a dramatic twist, the guy is actually, B’s boyfriend.

A, being not very good with people’s faces, had totally forgotten about the guy, and had not recognised him, at all.

Best part?

The guy is actually still legally married(though separated).

And, knowing how close I am to A and B, I am surprised he didn’t think that A might tell me about the meetup.

I am even more surprised that he didn’t think I would be ready as hell to tell B.

It was a tough mental fight.

I struggled with the decision.

To tell, or not to tell.

***

A felt that I should go ahead, and bring the issue to her attention.

I thought so too.

But yet, seeing a friend hurt is not something I would like to go through.

Anyway.

Do what you have to do, others told me.

Hey Boyfriend, if you’re reading this, stirring shit is not what I had intended it to be.

I may be the most-hated bitch to you right now, but I don’t think I can live with the guilty conscience of hiding it from my good friend if I did not come clean.

Think about it.

I don’t wish that one day, she will hate me from hiding things from her.

Between you and her, I would rather you hate me.

You should have known better, really.

***

This brings me to another internal fight.

I saw a friend’s Vietnamese girlfriend leaving Attica in the arms of a Caucasian(not extremely intimately, but just his arms around her) one night when he was away overseas for a business trip.

But I didn’t tell him.

Cos I wasn’t that close to him(though I knew him since when he was in Hwachong, and he is such a nice sweetie) to know how anal he is when it comes to such stuffs, and there is not any other substantial factual evidence to show the girlfriend was misbehaving.

I had thought of telling him, but I STILL don’t know if I should.

In the case of B, it was clear cut. She is a close friend, and she doesn’t like such.

***

Had dinner with Janice in the evening at Holland Village.

Was makeupless, bespectacled, slippers-clad.

Totally unglam, plus awful.

Whoever still thinks I am glam, ought to be shot.

Shared insights to what had happened, and discussed if, and how I should tell B about it.

I considered for a long while, before I finally plucked the courage to message Friend B.

I asked if she wanna join me at Holland Village, and she readily agreed.

Janice had wanted to stay around, but it was already late, so she made a move before Friend B arrived.

Janice then called to tell me that this blogger who reads our blog, who had seen us in Orchard NYDC last weekend, had just stopped her to say hi.

So coincidental. He saw her, again.

@&%#@^%$!%#!$

Sheesh.

I should always remind myself not to be lazy, and MUST always look my glamourous-est whenever I am out.

Thank God, he didn’t see me.

Muahahaha.

***

Friend B arrived shortly after, and we adjourned to Wala Wala, where the server Zain, was incredibly sweet to us the entire night.

B also commented how cute the lead singer was.

We listened to the music, and she asked if I am happy these days.

I am better than those days in the past, I said, with a cryptic smile.

Why do you look so troubled then, she pressed.

Nah. I brushed it aside.

If only she knew.

I asked some questions about her life, and the things about her present relationship, fishing information so I could gauge the situation, and opt for the appropriate approach to break it to her.

She had told boyfriend she would be meeting me, and I think he already forsaw what would happen.

I was experiencing an evil bout of jitters.

What’s wrong with me? What’s with me and jitters?!

It was then a heart-warming catching up without me broaching the main gist.

She then said, she had once asked a friend(who had only met me once) what he thought about me(yes, yes, she was trying to set us up!).

His reply?

‘She seems the sort with lotsa emotional baggages.‘

*APPLAUSE*

Only one meeting. It doesn’t take much for him to notice that. Good one. Sensitive guys, I like.

Not as much as I like the naughty, flirty, teasy, (but meant no harm, down-to-earth and decent) and have not-so-good taste kind.

Gee, what the hell is the kind of criteria is that?

Anyway… the night at Wala was coming to an end.

How much does a kg of balls cost? I need to purchase some, man.

I finally plucked the courage, breathed in and closed my eyes, covered my ears, and spit the news out.

She took it coolly.

But I know her.

She is a softie at heart.

She was upset, and called up boyfriend immediately.

‘I didn’t like her. I was just bored.‘

It was quite a weightless defense, and a fierce exchange erupted over the phone. They broke up.

Sigh.

I felt shitty.

Miserable.

And I felt like a damned bitch.

Still, I had to do what I had to do.

I just hope what I did was right.

Am I too meddlesome?

I don’t know.

I only know if my boyfriend does this without my knowledge, I would rather be informed too.

We left for home shortly after.

She was furious, but she maintained her composure, still flashing me smiles.

I could see she was holding back her tears.

Yet, she is the sort who has so much pride in her that she would stubbornly not allow a single betrayal of her emotions.

I hope she is well.

***

Oh. No pictures, a tad boring huh?

Some pictures from the meetup from Hideout.

Kenny and his irritating stare.

Tsk tsk, not only you are capable of it, alright?

And, the gorgeous, gorgeous, picture of the 3 hunks.

Giving the Supermodelblogger Blue Steel look.

And aww…. look! Such pretty moo moo there.

Last, but not least.

Remember this?

Aw… the ever-fabulous Roberto, again.

What’s the linkage, you ask?

Of course, there’s a link here.

Register the pretty picture first.

And I shall now, tell you what.

*COUGH COUGH*

But hey wait! Kenny, what’s the bald patch there on your head? *gasp in mock horror*

BALDING!!

Why do I find you attractive no more?

Don’t know why, it was hardly Roberto I was reminded of.

Oh my goodness.

I was reminded of..

*Sniggers* Oh, suddenly, you’re more attractive, again.

***

Gaohan some sort felt that I gush over female friends like how guys would gush over girls they like.

He suspected I am soon becoming a lesbian.

Fret not, you still stand a chance, my dear.

Muahahaha.

Joke, okay, joke.

I told him I would normally gush over my friends, especially worthy ones.

Why not him?

Alright, Gaohan, I hereby, officially, am gushing over you.

*GUSH GUSH GUSH*

Woo, almost 6, 7 years since we first acquainted, eh?

Did I mention guys who play soccer and adore soccer are extremely enticing?

Just a pity you are a darn Liverpudlian.

Then again, same goes for Philip Ong.

Then again, same goes for Mr KG.

Hey, I think a certain David, too.

Gasp gasp gasp.

Oh my. Oh my.

Am I seeing a trend here, or something?

See what had I mentioned about having a soft spot for naughty guys who have not-so-nice taste.

No wonder they would never fall for me.

Hurhurhur.

Liverpudlians, you hear this?