DETACHED

I feel a tad detached from everything these days.

This blog, inclusive too.

People I met, too.

I find it hard to make new pals, cos it takes very little for me to retreat into my protective shell, and stay away for a long, long while.

Just like a mimosa.

I clam up and shy away in a split second when I feel threatened by potential hurt, yet I never quite learn, and would be back to the gullible self the next.

I don’t know.

I didn’t quite feel the urge to blog simply because I realised I wasn’t quite putting the real emotions into my entries like I did before.

I imprisoned myself in this invisible bubble that shields me away from people.

Perhaps that’s why I sometimes appear aloof and cold to some, despite being pretty skippy and girly usually.

That’s when the wall is built up.

Say, when I meet a new group of people, and I feel unwelcomed.

I would make myself scarce and avoid meeting up in the future, cos I believe I would spoil their fun.

Weird thoughts there, but that’s what I would feel.

It’s no wonder my paranoia is pulling me further, and further away from reality, and people.

I grew increasingly detached, as the veil separating me and the real world layered itself thicker, and thicker.

I hardly feel any emotions going into my entries these days, and it became just a documentary piece with words, not feelings.

I could feel the difference.

It’s almost similar to constipation.

Muahahaha.

Perhaps, just perhaps, it’s just me and my congested nose.

The gooey stuffs jammed up my airway so much that, oxygen is not getting to my brain at all.

Hence, it couldn’t work well.

I felt no great need to be near my monitor, and the screen made me queasy.

MSN, email, blog.. all these failed to rouse me. I blogged emotionlessly, stating the factuals, throwing in a punch line or two when I felt like it.

Once finished, I dove right into my read, and built up the fence to my world again, a world that only has me in it.

And thus, I refrained from blogging more thought-provoking issues, so I would not be emotionally drained, at all.

Maybe, it’s my way of detaching myself from those issues, too, as if they don’t concern, nor bother me.

Gee, I am repeating myself ever so often these days.

But these few days had passed in a daze.

***

MTV channel aired this song, with a soothing melody that accompanied it.

Catherine.

Was stirred, and I switched the channel.

It’s my way of escapism, it seems.

I was tempted to surf back to that channel, and there was a great urge for me to tear.

A love-hate relationship with his mother, the song was said to be about.

It is a pretty raw song, not the usual ohmumyouaresogreatandflawlessandsowonderfullynobleandiadoreyoutobits kinda of song.

Do I love my mum? I do.

Do I hate her? Not anymore. Or did I ever?

I may have detested her at some point many years ago, but hate? Is it too strong a word to use?

I snapped at her just last week when she once again mentioned names of ex-classmates, whom she used to compare me to.

Primary one.

I remember I once resented her so much, cos even though I was already in secondary 4, she never failed to bring up those names, probing which junior colleges they got into, asking how they fare for their ‘O’s and such.

Now? What did they study in university? In which industry?

Oh. Jianhan? He’s now a pilot with SIA.

Hmm, that one? He’s now with Citibank.

Oh, her? She’s now an accountant.

So-and-so? In Australia doing his masters.

Ah, and the other one? In UCL, doing medicine, yet to graduate.

Yongcheng? Last I heard, Oxford studying law. Bar now, perhaps.

I am amazed with how she could rattle off the names of my ex-classmates as if we just graduated yesterday.

‘Oh.. they are doing soooooooooo well, huh?‘ She responded in a mixture of ridicule, disappointment, envy, and whatsoever emotions that I was too offended to decipher.

I clammed up and shrunk back further into my own world, bricking up the wall that I had dismantled previously.

I had tried so hard to mend the rift, and to let down my guard, so I wouldn’t be all that hostile when she’s around.

I snapped.

‘Well, you can always disown me if I am that much an embarrassment to you.’

‘Go adopt someone else who would bring you a degree and a glorious career.’

Yes, I morphed into that rude bitch I despise, again.

But that’s my raw spot. Always have been.

She never failed to make that inferiority complex drown me dead with her comments.

She had been competitive since I was just in kindergarten.

No meals if I failed to memorise the 1 x 1 to 10 x 10.

A thunderous slap in the public if I joined the neighbours for a game of police and thief, so the other kids would outcast me and make me butt of their jokes.

A brutal treat of caning if I came in 2nd in the class for spellings, tests, and exams.

Endless daunting words that pricked and needled deep. Like, ‘With achievements like yours, I wonder who would want to be your friends..’

To a teenager going through her rebellious phase, that wasn’t the wisest things you should say.

Yet, her intention was the hurt, cos she knew physical abuse derived no emotions from me, anymore, at that stage.

I would just stare at her defiantly when she rained slaps, showered kicks into my face. Not even the blue blacks from the broom, hangers and canes could induce a single drop of tear from me.

I became immune to pain.

But not from words.

The only time when I would weep uncontrollably was when she totally shattered my self confidence with the worst thing a mother could say to a daughter.

‘You’re so ugly that the sight of you is detestable.’

‘You don’t deserve those friends, you’re just a scum compare to them.’

‘Why don’t you go and die? A dog is better than you.’

Of course, there are worse stuffs which I tried blocking out of my memory that proved a tad too painful to remember.

The usual names that topped the class were Yongcheng, Jianhan, and Weiyang for the elementary 3 years in primary school.

Despite the break I had from them in primary 4, we met again in the same class when we were grouped into the top stream for primary 5 and 6.

17 years on, the names still hang loose on her lips.

‘So you still in contact with Jianhan? What’s he doing now?‘

Despite the words spoken in the past was with the intention to hurt, and those spoken now are just tactless expression on her part, I still find it hard to accept.

It worked instantly, like an emergency button of some sort.

Like just the other day I briefly mentioned some friends whom I met up recently.

‘You have friends who are lawyers, doctors and people high up on the corporate ladders? Why would they want to befriend someone like you with no degree and no career?‘

WHAM BAM!

I was hit back to the cold, hard, concrete floor.

I froze.

The insecurities crawled back in.

It’s the same ghosts that came haunting me ever so often.

I could feel the cruelest of words repulsing themselves out of my system instinctively, and I fought hard against it.

I stormed into my sanctuary, sentencing myself to more solitude, away from the source of hurt.

Those years moulded me, and the broken and violent relationship I had with the mother.

It became a terrible vicious cycle. A slight cut to the pride was retaliated with equally devastating comments to hurt the spot where it hurts most for her. That was how things were.

The war had since ceased.

Yet, it was a brutal reminder again during my days in Johor last week.

It’s no wonder that when a slight touch on the scar, triggered my reflex reaction that day and I spew forth those harsh words.

Scar? Or was it a wound that never closed up?

I’m sorry.

***

It’s a quiet Friday.

Feels too sick to be out there.

My low and husky voice has a nasal hue to it right now.

My life is such a boring script.

Then again, I don’t need anything too dramatic.

Something romantic and sweet, will do.

Hehehehe.

Happy birthday to my dearest pal, Xiuzhao.

Nope, I have never forgotten it for the past decade.

Sometimes, it’s just that there’s some reluctance within me to express some of the more intimate thoughts.

It makes me feel vulnerable, you see.

I have you in my thoughts, my dear, and may it be a fruitful, and blessed year ahead for ya!

*Hug*

PRETTY NIGHT

The needles of rain reflected the sparkles of streetlights prettily.

It wasn’t too long ago when I airkissed the 2 gorgeous ones goodbye in the harsh drizzle.

It just took seconds before the rain doubled its speed and density.

The sturdy wind flaunted its mighty strength, and I couldn’t help but feel intimidated.

Whipped out the shawl in my bag, and its embrace was my only source of solace.

I let out a weak cough.

It was of a low, husky key. A dap of masculinity after the excessive coughing throughout the evening.

I came to the end of the building, and heaved a sigh of relent.

I pulled the shawl tighter together, bowed my head, and stepped into the wild.

Walked from Clarke Quay towards Mohammed Sultan.

It was chilly.

The wind once again howled. This time, it seemed to tease more than to frighten.

I didn’t up my pace, and I was suddenly thrilled by the rain that kissed the lonesome figure in the dark.

The weather was no longer my nemesis, it was my playmate.

Therapeutic, I say.

Was suddenly reminded of Gracie.

It would have been fun with her around, dancing, skipping, laughing, giggling, jibing, in short, making a fool of ourselves in the rain, with a slight tinge of alcohol in us.

Brr.. cold.

Yet, how enchanting was the night.

Was in a slight mess when I finally walked into the shelter, where a few clubbers walked past as they made their way to the carpark.

3 guys offered a lift, upon seeing the shivering lass.

No, thanks.

Was unable to locate Meiling at Dbl O, and made my way out.

A huge crowd was ushered out of the club as the night came to an end.

Many were trapped in the rain.

I stepped out, once again, walking a distance to get to the nearest 7-11.

The rain didn’t bother me. In fact, it perked me up.

It wasn’t long before I finally board a cab, staring longingly into the blurred picture of the streets, framed by the cab’s window.

Cough.

More coughs.

I need a new pair of lungs.

***

I spanned my tensed limbs lazily on the bed. Early noon.

As I maxed out the muscles, I could feel the aches seeping in.

I tried to start the brand new day, but the grogginess that engulfed me made my head 10 times heavier than it normally is.

Well, that happens when you have too much brain, I supposed.

Or, when the flu bug is slowing feasting on your energy, choking up your airways.

I couldn’t help but wonder if the dose of cough syrup had worked its wonder for more than 7 hours.

It must have.

May cause drowsiness. Hell yeah.

The last thing I remember was, the player barely finished spinning the 3rd song on the CD.

When I woke up today in early noon.

I struggled to keep the eye lids open and it was almost impossible as I tried to do the daily chores.

Even the monitor failed to rouse my interests.

I flipped over with my front pressing against the bed.

Mmmmm. How com….. com… ZzzZzz.. comfy..

Pried open my eyes again, and checked the time. Late noon.

I lazed on the bed a wee bit more.

This time, facing up.

I was 3/4 gone when I could hear a growl of gargle.

I was awoken by my own snores.

Turned to my left, and …. Mmmmmmm…. Zzz…

It was 6pm, when the cloud in the head cleared, and I finally decided enough, is enough.

***

It was one of those feel-bad days when I didn’t feel much confidence within.

Decided to skip an audition cos.. I just didn’t feel good enough.

Made my way to City Hall, with a craving for Auntie Anne’s pretzels.

Believe it or not, I had never tried it until Janice bought one in Johor few days ago.

Deprived, Denise commented.

Speaking of eerie coincidences.

Was walking aimlessly at the mall, up the escalator, when I saw a familiar figure, heading down on the opposite escalator.

I alighted from the escalator, and U-turned onto the downriding one, while scrambling to get my phone out of the bag.

She hadn’t seen me.

’1 Message Received’

I opened the message before dialing Denise’s number.

Surprise, surprise.

No pressies for the correct guess who the message was from.

Yup, Denise.

She was alone in town, and asked where was I.

I called, and let known I was right behind her.

She waited at the tip of the escalator, and we both mused at the coincidence.

We ventured to Burger King, and chatted over dinner, before getting Jeremy to join us.

Janice joined us shortly after, and the 4 of us walked to Clarke Quay together.

The weather was nice. Wasn’t too humid like it had been for the past few weeks.

I must have been -deluded- losing weight.

I could feel my new pair of *cough* size 26 Levi’s sliding down as I strutted around in them.

We became the earliest customers, and had a round of drinks at Attica. Raf joined us shortly after.

Apparently, the photographer needs to brush up his skills a little.

Slightly better there.

The tall giant was in luck for the night with 4 gorgeous chicks flanking him on the dance floor, spicing his evening up.

By midnight, Jeremy and Denise had to leave, and it was left with only Janice and Raf.

We graced the dancefloor, and met a very gorgeous lady who is almost reaching 40s.

A flight-attendant, is she, and her fingers were well adorned with mega carats and flashy names like Tiffany and Bulgari.

Yet, she looked really young and has an elegant air about her.

It was a fun and interesting night, albeit a tad sickly.

Didn’t drink much cos my voice was already a few octaves lower than it normally is, and I wouldn’t want to be mistaken to be a transvestite or something.

Was bidding David goodbye when the 2 babes suddenly scurried out of the club WITHOUT yours truly, and left me in the lurch.

Nice friends, I have.

The 3 of us went outside where the open area is, sprawled on the cushions on the floor, and had a nice heart-to-heart girly talk along the river.

It was a nice, slow, sentimental one with the wavering spark from the candle giving us a tinge of romanticism. A little melancholy, a little dazed.

Left pretty early, but not before we stood outside the club, chatting about MotoGP with Jamail and Douglas.

I insisted that Alex Barros is not plump, like what the 2 guys had suggested.

I insisted that Max Biaggi is not a snobbish brat.

I insisted that Sete Gibernau is not as serious as he seems.

Raf was there to second my opinions and override their misconceptions too.

But I cringed when the 2 babes ganged up against me to illustrate what a gullible bimbo I could be when it comes to trusting people.

Hello!!!!!???? Don’t forget you guys are MY PALS. And there’s a saying in Chinese, ‘Wu Yi Lei Ju’(something along the line of birds of the same feather flock together), alright?

Grr….

Muahaha.

It was there where we witnessed some commotions which took place within the club.

Interesting.

The clouds gathered and we could feel the breeze sweeping across, bringing down the potted plants in its path.

Signs that we should leave before the storm comes, and trapped us within.

Today’s Meiling’s birthday.

Happy birthday, my dear.

You’ve come a long, long way.

I need a new pair of lungs.

Buy me a couple, anyone?

NOT AGAIN

Sorry for my lack of enthusiasm to blog.

So much so that *cough* someone complained that my blog wasn’t as extensive and details-precised for the happening weekend we shared.

That’s because I don’t have any guys having the hots for me, picking me up with lame pickup lines and persistently tried to date me despite consistent Nos.

Alright. Truth is, I was too engrossed with my newest read and seldom hit the sacks before 6am, and would only drag myself out of bed at say, 3pm or 4pm.

The problem with me is, I can only concentrate on my book after 11pm, cos the lure of the internet or CSI: NY or whatever that was on television tempted me to stray from the book, slowing the whole reading process.

After 3 days, I finally finished my first Jeffrey Archer last night, so here I am, waking up earlier, and am blogging!

Whee!

But, *frowns and pout*, I am having yet ANOTHER throat infection.

Yes, I am sick, again.

Bad throat, and a growing cough.

So poor thing…

But I decided against the doctor, or else he’s gonna think I am making frequent trips with the same, old, uninnovative excuse to see him again.

Was held up at the custom on Monday night.

A glitch with the system again.

So while waiting, we were bored.

Now, I know what to do to make me appear to have a slimmer jawline. Muahaha.

There was some irritating guy who was staring at Janice when we were up on the bus, and Janice returned with, in my opinion, a hardly menacing look.

I joked, he might mistake her for trying to seduce him with com’ on baby, come to mama come-to-bed eyes instead.

She said there’s a difference.

And I tried to convince her that she didn’t display that much a difference.

VS

The GO TO HELL AND STOP STARING AT ME LIKE A PIECE OF MEAT look.

See?!

Ah. Whatever.

I was trying to do a diva wave of dismissal, talk to my watch hand pose and realised the similarities to a very famous ‘BAH’ picture.

Any resemblances is purely coincidental.

My throat is still feeling bad.

Drink lotsa water.

But I loathe drinking water. *whines*

Alright, if you could excuse me, I am now going to move on with my 3rd read.

Brad Meltzer.

Ahem. Dear Mr Book-supplier, I am ready for a new batch, soon. *grins*

If you find my updates crawling, you know why.

Or perhaps, it’s getting awfully quiet here that I don’t feel like blogging anymore.

I shall move on from this space, in time to come.

Er, so now, house chores first? Or the book?

I shall work the fats off after brewing lotsa lards with the 3 days of lazing in the bed, canoodling up with Jeffrey Archer.

OBLIGATED

I feel obligated to blog simply because Janice is right beside now, nagging incessantly(she just poked tickled me for the opening sentence), forcing reminding me to blog about the weekend so she could shamelessly conveniently nip some of the details off here.

I fear for my life.

So here I am, blogging in the cybercafe in Johor, with menacing Janice sitting right beside me.

That’s the woes of being the only smart one(I just tilted my monitor away from her to survive a tad longer), your intelligence possesses massive exploitability.

Alright, so, this will be a post without graphics cos I can’t possibly upload the pictures here.

Talk about graphic.

Some guy was sitting in the same cybercafe, surfing explicit pictures of fornication, downloaded them, and did a full screen slideshow *gasp in horror*

Imagine I was stuck at this very cybercafe more than a week ago till 5 in the morning. *shudders*

Seriously.. I am not so sure if I would dare to use back the very same keyboard he used just now…

*Inhales, bites my lower lip to go through with this dreadful blogging task*

***

How eerie some coincidences can be.

I can’t remember how many times my hair stood perpendicular to my skin, sending the chills down my spine for the entire week.

Things that happened in such quaint sequences that you could only tilt your head above and gave a laugh of conceit to the Big Man up there for having such great sense of humour.

Fate?

That’s what fools believe in.

I refuse to be a fool.

Then again, a fool is trying to deny she is one.

I really do wish to believe in that.

Actually, I still believe fairytales do exist.

Only thing is, I ceased to believe they could ever happen to me.

They are too beautiful.

Anything beautiful would just slip by me, and never befall on me.

That’s the rule set for my life.

A rule I can’t change but can only comply to.

Fate.

How beautifully tragic.

There’s always a princess who would live happily ever after.

But elsewhere, there’s always a need for a princess as the lead of a threatrical twist.

Beautiful things morph into tragedies in my hands.

***

Sunday was yet another quiet and peaceful day.

Woke up at *tiny voice* 4pm, before slipping back into snooze mode at 6pm.

Fatigue overwhelmed me all the way till 9pm, before I started a night of intensive reading with Jeffery Archer’s Sons of Fortune.

Very interesting. Kept me roused all the way till 6.30am before I finally parted with the book to rest for the lengthy 1st day of the week.

Sunday is always such dreadfully melancholic for me.

Definitely my least favourite day of the week, even when I was part of the work force, I was never appreciative of Sunday.

Hence, hardly had the drive to blog.

***

Woke up with barely enough rest to meet up with the posh one at Kranji MRT so we could venture in to Johor for a day of good food and checking out the fitting rooms of the local shops.

I shall not mention how I was baking in the heat at the bus stop waiting for the posh one who turned up at 1.45pm when we had set a 1pm meetup time.

Anyway, the trip turned out to be a blissfully smooth one.

Verdict? Bad mirrors.

I swear they did something to the mirrors to make ladies feel inferior about themselves.

I fell victim to the mirror and feels pretty sulky over the horizontally-elongated reflection I horrifyingly stared saw.

That couldn’t be me.

Is denial one of the major psychological illnesses these days?

I wished I had went on to get my psyche degree some years ago. I hope they have a cure for that.

Despite my strict(yeah, right) diet these days, I compromised for a filling meal of sushi with the posh one at Holiday plaza, Genki Sushi.

Very *burp* nice.

Didn’t manage to get much stuffs, except that I finally could fit back a size 26 which I tried so hard to force myself wriggle in the previous time I was in Levi’s.

Thus, to commemorate the magical moment, it seemed politically incorrect and unethical if I denied its merits and not save it from the racks.

Hence, cash was swiftly handed over, and I felt I did the pair of size 26 593 jeans great justice.

Guess what?

I wore my new pedal pushers today and it’s blardy hanging loose!

I don’t know if I should weep in sorrow for the soon-to-be redundant purchase(well, if I slim down a tad more, it wouldn’t embrace my shapely hips nicely anymore!) or weep in joy that I finally drop a size in a mere couple of days.

Wait. Main point is…

I got myself a pair of gorgeous Levi’s for $179 ringgits! And that’s like 88 bucks in Singapore!

What a steal!

Purchased some new disposable lenses.

A pair of shorts for homely wear.

Had a fulfilling dinner at Secret Recipe, and topped it off with a rich, creamy, sinful chocolate cake.

A classic conversation took place while we were halfway done with dinner.

Janice Bimbo Posh one was staring into the GNC shop right opposite us, warily.

‘Damn, for a moment I wonder why the Caucasian was staring at me for the longest time.’

I turned, choked on my chocolate cake, and died.

Thank God, I didn’t.

What greeted me was one of the posters within the shop, of a Caucasian giving a very intense, focused stare forward.

Well. What can I say?

As we are drawing a close to our one-day trip here, we are indeed glad that we survived the town without being robbed, raped, kidnapped, gunned down, murdered, conned, followed…..

Then again, the intrusive wolf-whistles and disgusting sleazy stares that drowned us for the day were the greatest tests for us to put on our frostiest fronts, pretending we weren’t easily intimidated…

Apparently, the men here whistle at any long-hair being, and make the rudest and cheekiest remarks..

Uffa!

***

I still don’t feel too good. Feeling great dissatisfaction with everything around.

Retail therapy doesn’t work well on me, it seems.

***

It felt fantastico when I finally indulged in some quality time with the bed I am more familiar with when I returned on Friday late night.

But I barely had 3 hours of quality slumber before I woke up at 8am, to begin my awfully long Saturday.

I awe myself with the amount of energy I had.

Where did all those seep in from?

Rushed down to the very packed Immigration Office and everything went on pretty smoothly despite the lengthy wait.

Dad sent me to Centerpoint to collect the OSIM massager which came free with me signing up the cable television.

He sent me home, I got changed, and rushed out to meet Eileen and Dave for some intensive, non-stop 4-hours karaoke marathon.

At the end of it, I promised myself I would keep away from the microphone for a good 10 years or so with that overdose of crooning.

I bet my little godson/daughter would by now remember my delicious voice by heart.

But it took just one day, for me to feel like hitting the KTV again.. So, anyone wanna be traumatised by my *ahem* extra-ordinary singing?

***
Met up with the posh one whom I have not seen for a week.

Bumped into Edmund who was, erm, really, er, nice.

Edmund: Hey what’s the slimming product Michelle Chia endorsed?
Ting: I think it’s Extrim or something.
Edmund: Ya ya! That’s right. Do they sell it at Watson’s?
Ting: Yes, I believe they do.
Edmund: Perhaps you should check it out.

*ROARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR*

Hell hath no fury like a fat woman being scorned.

Be afraid, be very afraid.

Ed, I am sorry Watson’s don’t sell growth pills. What are you gonna do to gain some inches vertically? Hehehehe.

Walked around the new Marina Square, where we had dinner.

Was thrilled to see Huiwen, my classmate when I was in Secondary 3 and 4, whom I have never met since I graduated in 1997.

The brief catch up talk wasn’t quite brief.

The warm and fuzzy feeling was nice.

Met up with Janice’s friend, Xinhong, who joined us to Attica for the evening.

Yes, yes, Attica again, you say.

***

It drizzled briefly that evening.

It halted.

It rained again in the morning when we left the club at 6am.

It halted.

It erupted into a storm by the time I alighted from Xinhong’s boyfriend’s car at 7.15am.

The chills unsettled me when the howling winds caressed my bare shoulders and neck.

I felt a great need to feel protected, sheltered, shielded, and cuddled.

I scurried into the lobby, took the car of lift up, and sat in the shower for a long, long while.

Partly tipsy, partly afraid to hear the roaring thunders.

It was a cosy morning. I didn’t want it to end there.

Great reluctance to tuck myself into the duvet.

I dazed.

Hearing the rain rattling as it embraced the window panels.

The teasing thunders.

The giggling wind.

The tanned skies.

The dimmed room.

Suddenly, it feels… nice.

Just nice.

It was 10, when I finally decided to give the abused body a rest.

***

So, 10.30pm – 5.30am of clubbing action.

I wonder if being mistaken for *gasp* hear this, one of Attica’s bosses meant anything.

Was I a tad too glam?

Muahahaha.

It couldn’t be my consistent presence at the club on weekends, since it was his first time seeing me there.

It wasn’t a pickup line cos the guy was obviously having the hots for Janice.(Yeay! My turn to fan the gossips in appreciation to her constant teasings.)

Alas, the guy reminded me of Kelvin, Janice’s ex.

Let’s have a recap.

If you are new to my blog. No no no, Kelvin’s not the one in the centre(you wish).

Nor is he the one on the right(that’s my beloved ex, if you have to know).

So, yah, the guy who was leeching around us for the entire night, irritatingly persistent, looks something like the one on the left.

Quite sad, I know.

I didn’t want to drink for the night, and clung on dearly to my usual dose of orange juice.

Roberto was there again, and he airkissed us to greet us, and *cough* complimented us.

‘You ladies are always wearing dresses, looking all so feminine and nice, I like it!’

Aww…

I swore off jeans and pants from that second forth.

Muahahaha.

Oh, in case you don’t know, Roberto is the *cough* least eye-catching one among the 3 above. The centre one.

That’s right.

We stood around chatting to the nice bouncers(that’s what we typically do when we’re bored since we know some of them rather well) for a while cos the music was pretty much sucky.

We were starting to lament about how out-of-shapes we are, and we were then offered free gym-training sessions when they train.

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Free wakeboarding, gym training sessions. If only one of them own a restaurant, flower shop, diamond factory…

While we stood around along the corridor leading to Attica Too, the usually aloof and stern looking Douglas had a number of bartenders right behind him, and it reminded me of a triad boss with his men.

Apparently, they were waiting for some packs of ice to be delivered.

And everytime, after each guy had a pack of ice, there was always 3 packs left on the floor.

I rolled my eyes and joked, ‘My, my. I supposed they were expected the 3 of us to help with the bags of ice.‘

So, being extremely bored and cheeky, all 3 of us went over to the ice bags and had a go at the ice bags, which weren’t that heavy.

Hurhurhur.

I have no idea why I look amazingly slim in the above picture. The bright background makes it seem eerie though.

It was the first time we engaged in a conversation with Douglas, the bar manager, and everyone had to restrain me from strangling him when he let known he was a mere 55kg.

I bet he is more than 1.8m.

And blardy 55kg?

I AM 55KG NOW, YOU KNOW?! He makes me feel fatttttttttt.

It’s terrible what jealousy + alcohol could do to you.

Yes, yes, I said I didn’t want to touch alcohol, but I still did.

Xinhong: Do you play any sport?
Douglas: Sports huh.. I used to play…
TingTipsy: I know! You used to play hockey right?

Silence from all.

Ting: You’re the hockey stick what!

Woops.

Later on in the night.

‘I think hockey stick too thick. You should be a golf club or something.’

Double woops.

It got worse when someone was trying to make him dance, someone whom we don’t know.

He was standing right beside me when someone was trying to get him dance.

Alcohol is evil.

I blurted ‘Now, that’s what I call pole-dancing.’

If I am not at Attica this weekend, I am sure it’s NOT because I was kicked out by the bar manager. Really.

***

The 3 girls were having a bit of fun when we were then… sporting enough to cramp onto the podium together.

And man! Janice and Xinhong really do know how to boogie!

And it’s not surprise Xinhong was swiftly bug by someone, and then Janice, too.

Me? Hurhurhur. No one bothered to.

Muahaha.

Was clumsy in my heels, and I took them off.

Alcohol is evil.

It wasn’t long before the people we were rather well-acquainted with noticed us, and… their reactions were pretty hilarious.

Terry’s reaction was the cutest yet as he was pretty much taken aback when he saw who were up there.

Shock is the word to describe his expression, I supposed.

He swiftly recovered from his shock and gave a thumb’s up.

It’s better to avoid eye-contacts with people you know, and just enjoy yourselves with your girl pals without a care.

David gave a pretty amused look too.

Then, the bouncers.

The boss.

It was kinda fun, actually.. despite my initial pre-alcohol state proclaimed that there’s no way I would go up there and embarrassed myself.

Embarrassed myself? I did. I cringe at the thought of how my hideous dance moves might repulse everyone.

Xinhong made an observation of everyone seemed to be very protective of us. In a genuine way.

Oh, that’s the cool babes.

Whenever we feel intimidated or uncomfortable when a stranger inched close(yeap, we just like to have a great time, but we don’t like pesty people who come up to us), there will always be a towering figure standing in the way or for us to run behind to hide.

It’s nice, especially when this 1/3 Sweden + 1/3 Italian + 1/3 French guy came in between me and Janice when the 2 of us were dancing together, and shoved the poor girl aside.

He asked when I would be free to have dinner with him, cos he cooks really well.

*ROLL EYES*

It wasn’t long before Janice sent a distress call to David who came over to rescue me from the monster Mr Want-to-cook-for-me.

I do not want to risk him cooking me instead.

Everyone was nice, yet again.

Our new pal, Jasmine, was awesome too.

Despite feeling a tad down, she still took great care of us, too.

Sometimes its funny how someone you pre-judged as hostile, unfriendly could turn out to be such a great pal to have around.

***

It was an usual air-kiss greeting.

Janice, then me, after all the ‘hey, how are you doing?’s.

I was still in one of my quiet, dazy moods.

His left cheek faced me.

Right cheek, left cheek.

That’s what’s the standard protocol.

Not quite the right sequence this time round, I thought.

Just as I leaned forward, he suddenly turned, slowly, a tad dramatically, to face me.

I froze. Taken by surprise.

He stared at me, intently.

I felt a little awkward, was unable to hold his gaze, and backed off.

His determined gaze still fixed on me.

I gave a comically dramatic frown, not sure how to react, and looked away towards Janice, puzzled.

Still, it was a stubborn stare.

I turned, held his gaze, and gave a so-what-was-that-for nod.

He responded by leaning slightly closer and gave a mysterious smile, with his eyes still fixed on mine.

Odd, how very odd.

I hope I wasn’t an easy read that could be deciphered by that threatrically lengthy observation.

Next time, when I am wearing a more comfortable pair of contact lens, let’s compete who can stare longer without blinking, alright?

Bleah.

***

Breakfast was a simple affair of spaghetti from 7-11 after the lights to the club came on at the end of the night, at 5.40am.

Waited for Xinhong’s beau who gave us a lift home despite a long drive from River Valley, to Jurong, to Woodlands, then to Bishan, in the pouring rain.

Rain.

How I adore the rain.

Ah.

Today’s Zachary’s 3rd birthday.

Happy birthday, the little lovely one.

I miss them, actually.

Had my fair share of highs over the weekend.

Yet, the bleakness that looms just tipped the scales and is hard to make up for.

Feeling a tad ‘dark’ and bleak, and thus, not much mood to blog.

Suicidal? Perhaps. No, not that kind you’re thinking.

Actual act? Definitely a no-no.

I am not depressed, yet I say again. Am not.

I am numbed.

Emotionless.

Void.

Isn’t it great news that I haven’t bawl at all for the whole of 2005.

I mean the kind of sob fest that would rip your hearts and lungs out.

I don’t know if it’s a good thing.

I want to, but my pride cruelly refused myself the rights to do so.

Anyway, my new read is claiming its effects over me. My first, Jeffery Archer book.

Good news is I am back in Singapore after making a trip to the immigration office. With the updated system, some stuffs were set right, and they allowed me to stay on.

Hopefully I would cheer up a little when I return tonight.

For now, I shall conquer Johor with Janice.

Maybe I just need a dose of lunch to perk me up.

Maybe, nothing ever would.

Typical Piscean speaking in da house.

Whee. I am okay.

BACK. UNCERTAINTY LOOMS

Sometimes, it just takes a couple of really warm and nice people to make your supposed bad situation, less exasperating.

I am thankful.

To the 2 ladies at the immigration checkpoint tonight.

Apparently, some glitch in the computer means I have to be confined in Malaysia all the way till, get this, *gasp* 4th June.

Yeap, by right, I am not supposed to be back here, all the way till the freaking 4th of blardy June.

So, I am supposed to wake up darn early tomorrow to get it extended at the immigration office.

It may(30%), or may not(70%), be approved.

But I am grateful to the friendly and helpful peepz, who were extremely lovely, in comparison to the grump, evil old man who attended to me last week.

I can’t imagine I have to return on Sunday night to the room which doesn’t seem rightfully mine.

I am gonna go crazy without proper desktop, broadband, cable television, and not even a CD player for me to pop in some decent music to tide the bad days over.

My stay in Malaysia was a bland one, clouded by one bad news after another.

It kinda strained the relationship I have with my mother too.

Why do I always feel so asphyxiated whenever I am back with her?

It’s a serene environment. Almost too serene for me.

Like where they would house the insane.

The view from my room. Yeap, the table is just by the window side, towering over the magnificent view. And wooo yeah, you’re looking at my sexy toes, you toes-fetishers.

You can see Holiday Plaza and even Singapore from here.

But I seldom open the windows for several reasons.

1) It had been storming incessantly for the past week.

2) Mozzies love me.

3) I might just leap out when I get increasingly bored, you see.

So, what did I do there?

I finished my book in 3 days.

I watched television, listened to 93.3fm for 12 hours, everyday.

I shopped.

I surfed net, and emailed to countless people to lament how jailed up I was.

I dwelled in several deep thoughts, getting myself lost in the emotional mazes.

Some other stuffs which I don’t feel like mentioning.

I don’t even feel at home there.

I can’t even strut around the house in my lingerie.

I can’t even snack without someone breathing down my neck reminding me what a fat ass I am.

I can’t even relax in peace with someone treating me like a 10 year-old.

I can’t…… even blog.

Not that I want to, or that I have anything to blog.

I can’t even load the pictures I had taken.

I can’t even surf as and when I like.

Okay, fine, I am just trying to find faults with the place which I am supposed to call home.

All the more so, cos this trip back, was a rather solemn one.

The parents talked about when their time is up, what I should do, and where I could find the important documents and stuffs.

Dad even brought me to the lawyer’s office to draw up a, (what the..) will.

Mum wanted to open a joint account with me, so that if ‘anything’ happens, I can draw out and claim her assets mine.

I had a taste of super stardom during my stay there.

Autograph sessions. One after another.

Made 2 trips to the lawyer’s firm.

My pretty signature graced the documents which I derived no joy at all.

Gee, why should I talk about bleak stuffs?

Shoo shoo.

I grew increasingly bored.

So, I have no idea why, the usually not very keen shopper, was possessed.

Perhaps, retail therapy does work.

Oh hell ya, it works!

And the autograph session continued as I got the hang of scribbling my gorgeous signature on the bills.

Not much hauls(as compared to the Posh Janice), but trust me, it can only get worse if I have to go back for another month.

I must have amnesia or something. I refuse to can’t remember weaving in and out MNG 3 times in a single day.

Adidas didn’t have the jacket I want, Levi’s was evil(the salesgirl insisted I try size 25, which wouldn’t go pass my butt at all, size 26 wouldn’t fit either!), I could get my perfume from Duty Free…

I called it a day, but was immensely dissatisfied with no shopping bags.

So after surfing for an hour at the cyber cafe, I rushed back to MNG before the shops closed, and tried on almost every single item for the new summer collection.

Well, I am not saying that for my 1st trip, I tried almost all the basics. Nothing caught my fancy.

For my 2nd visit, I tried almost all the previous season’s clothes. Nah….

Until my 3rd, and final for the night, which lasted till 20 minutes past their closing time, then did I settle for 2 pieces of garments.

It would have been more if not that some of the pieces did not have S size.

Yes, I still fit an S if you have to know.

It was a daunting task trying the clothes, you know.

I am turning into a pear.

Yes, I AM TURNING INTO A PEAR!!!!!

OH NO! *GASP IN HORROR* I AM A PEAR.

My top still can fit a S or even an XS.

BUT

Bottom? Arghhhh…..

Judge for yourself.

Salesgirl passed me a pair of micro minishorts.

Her response when I came out of the fitting room?

‘Hmmm, er.. perhaps you should get it in another few months’ time.. when you slim down or something.’

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*sniff sniff*

*cough cough*

Uffa!

Thanks. How very nice.

*Roll eyes*

Well, she redeemed herself(I guess my dagger stares worked) when she was trying to find the smallest sized top for me, and then commented my waist is really *cough* small.

Yah, she genuinely meant it.

Shut up if you’re going to tell me she was just trying to make up for the in-my-opinion-not-so-true comment(dammit, don’t try to convince me otherwise. I am NOT in denial) about the shorts.

Anyway, I bought 2 items which normally would not find their ways to my wardrobe.

Talk about being insanely adventurous.

A pair of yellow pedal pushers!

Man! I didn’t even believe I would even go for such colours, but they are comfortable to be in, and quite nice.

And who in the world would have thought I would buy this:

Yup, a thick khaki jacket especially with the kooky weather these days!

I still feel the deprivation within me brewing.

I need some…. more… shopping… for… tops…

On top of that, I bought myself a non-pirated CD!

I mean, I don’t even normally buy CD, yet I actually bought myself an original. Applause, people!

I stocked up my almost finishing foundation from Shisedo.

And….

I swear hanging out Janice is a bad thing.

I am starting to fall for..

*drums roll*

Shoes!

I am quite picky when it comes to shoes cos I have really sweaty feet, and thus, shoes were definitely not my usual purchase.

So, I got myself a pair of new heels, which are of the height I am rather pleased with.

And *cough*, a shorter pair when I am on dates with vertically-challenged blokes.

Muahahahaha.

I am joking, really.

Cos I have nobody dating me, so it’s just a smokescreen to make you guys think I am blardy popular.

Which obviously is a deception. Totally untrue.

Alright. I have no idea why I am blogging such a shallow post when I actually have no mood to blog at all.

Got this off Janice’s site.

Your dating personality profile: Big-Hearted – You are a kind and caring person. Your warmth is inviting, and your heart is a wellspring of love. Stylish – You do not lack for fashion sense. Style matters. You wouldn’t want to be seen with someone who doesn’t care about his appearance. Religious – Faith matters to you. It is the foundation that you build your life upon. You trust that God has a plan for you.

Your date match profile: Big-Hearted – You want someone compassionate, someone gentle and kind. A loving, nurturing person will fill that hole in your life. Religious – You seek someone who is grounded in faith and who possesses religious values. You believe that a religious person can enhance your life. Practical – You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living.

Your Top Ten Traits 1. Big-Hearted 2. Stylish 3. Religious 4. Sensual 5. Shy 6. Romantic 7. Athletic 8. Wealthy/Ambitious 9. Traditional 10. Liberal

Your Top Ten Match Traits 1. Big-Hearted 2. Religious 3. Practical 4. Outgoing 5. Stylish 6. Romantic 7. Traditional 8. Conservative 9. Athletic 10. Intellectual

Take the Online Dating Profile Quiz at Dating Diversions

Hmm, what can I say?

Stylish? Nah. So not true.

I would put Sensual and Romantic on the top of the list, anytime.

And yes, I want a very big-hearted guy.

Practical? Hmm, yeap, I need someone to keep me grounded with my out-of-the-world fantasies(not that sort, you sleazeballs).

Religious? I am not as much as I want myself to be, and yes, a God-loving man would be nice. *beams*

But but but! I want a romantic and sensual man too. *sulks*

And intellectual should be top of the list, my dear.

Tsk! I should be penning a list myself, and not let this silly test take charge, yuh?

IN NEED OF AN ESCAPADE

So, I missed Laura Fygi yesterday.

And I missed Diana Krall last month.

I must make it a point to learn to cope with solitude so I wouldn’t feel regretful missing out the things I enjoy in life.

Come to think of it, how much stuffs have let pass in the past four years(or perhaps more), simply because there’s a serious lack of activities partners.

After 9 tensed months of single life, the parents finally picked up the traces of my solitary, and learned of my singlehood.

They have noses. I bet they can smell it.

Suggestions of getting a Caucasian boyfriend, talks of me finding someone to settle down, prompts to get me to end my singlehood.. became evident signs that they finally learned of my excruciating break up.

I kinda like it this way. I don’t have to explicitly put it across to them, which would inevitably draw endless interrogations from the old ones.

At least, I have shown them I have come to terms with it, so they could rest their worries, and not get overly panicky.

Days in Johor crawl at such exasperating pace.

I resent it.

Perhaps slowing down my pace allows aplenty room for me to dwell on things I would rather not remember.

Life is such. Sometimes you remember, sometimes you don’t.

A job well done on the denial part, don’t you think?

So yeah, having a mind occupied with nothing but boredom, it’s easy to see things a tad clearer.

I didn’t have the courage to ask about the mother’s condition.

She seems to be doing fine, and my presence triggered her momentum to fuss over me, and leaves lesser room for her paranoia to set in.

With me in her sights, she worries less, and not let her imagination runs wild of things she have no control over.

Of course, the bulk of the pressure is then batoned on to yours truly.

Dad’s condition is alright. At least the chest aches are not coming back.

But his memory is failing fast, and that’s a constant worry too.

My heart flinches whenever he shakes his head, frowns, and as if suffering a big dent to his ego, concedes he is getting old, and feels useless not able to do something properly.

As much as a kooky chatterbox some friends know me as, some closer friends are aware of the extreme I could go to.

‘As much as you claimed to be the noisy and outspoken one, sometimes you are so quiet that you scare me.’

I wonder if this is how Asian families work, everyone is reserved when it comes to their love for family members, and finds it painfully hard to express it out explicitly.

I remember the time I hugged the parents on my birthday this year. It was one and only time since my puberty years for the dad, and perhaps, one of the first times ever in my life, for the mother.

I don’t remember spitting more than 10 words for the entire day.

I do appreciate, thanks.

How are you? Is your condition getting better? What did the doctor say? What did he suggest?

Questions I knitted. I chose to bury them instead.

Why is it that I always have a more mellowed and greyish post after an eventful, flamboyant one?

Must be the news.

There’s nothing much for me to do in here, except making commitments to the dummy box.

News, dramas, CSI, variety programs, and the old, trusty radio.

I feel kinda nostalgic.

When was the last time I listened to the chinese stations?

The sugary, squeaky bubblegum pop irritates the ears.

The new songs by the local songs-stealing Jay Chou wannabe make one wonders where is justice.

Yet, it’s always a practice that I would favour the familiar mother tongue over my usual old-hits station when I am back in Malaysia.

The trusty, 8 and half years-old Acer lappy which so much reminded me of the London years, and the pals I had back then.

Life was so much more innocent, less complicated(though already pretty so), and when people were less sinister.

I realised it has been a long while since I sat myself through a full 30-minute news broadcast.

News still depress me.

There’s always so much tears welling up and I just have to concede that I am still that wishy washy marshmellow, which I so much want to deny myself to be.

How many things do you see on the news that will depress, anger, or stir you in whatsoever way?

I feel so much anguish watching news at times. There’s so much helplessness, so limited things you could do to make a difference.

I find myself asking God why.

Don’t you guys suggest to me why. You are not God, I don’t need your perspective of things.

Not at this moment, anyway.

Though you may mean well.

Okay, have to make it clear that I am not feeling depressed. Really am not.

Just in one of those moods that I will sink into the whirlpool of emotions and started questioning lotsa things, and feeling dissatisfied with whatever that’s happening around me.

Well. I feel caged. And that’s not how you should feel when you are at a place that’s supposedly to be your home.

I need to get away.

To break free.

Yah, that’s so typical of me.

Just stubbornly, irresponsibly decide to hide away, run away, to somewhere I could just avoid all these things for a moment before I am prepared to confront them face to face.

Uffa! –> Woo, using what I had just learnt!

I bet the horrid dream that bugged me last night is the cause of such bland post.

It wasn’t scary. But it set off my erratic pulse.

I dreamt someone was trying all means to assasinate me and I was trying to dodge, hide, run, escape, and I could vividly feel the fear and fluster when I woke up from the dream.

Funny how I didn’t jolt awake from it with all the bizarre happenings, and let the fear lingered and dragged until I woke up naturally.

Quaint. Can’t really express what I really feel about the whole saga.

I guess I miss my bed, that’s all.

I am counting my blessings that I have my *tiny voice* 24 year-old baby pillow with me.. *beams with pride*

Well, it’s not exactly a bad thing to be back here.

I have plenty of quiet time to myself, and to mend the relationship between me and my parents, as well as my spiritual Dad, the Almighty One above.

And muahahahahaha, I skip 200 times a day, or more, when I feel like it.

Tsk tsk, see who still dare to say I am unfit! Hmphf.

I used to be a Physical Education teacher, okay!

Oops, basking in past glory again. No good.

Home-cooked food also mean I have a more healthy diet to curb my binging.

I put on my retainers and brush my teeth early so I wouldn’t be tempted by the snacks lying around the house.

And, well, I learnt what is zero, uno, due, tre, quattro, cinque, sei, sette, otto, nove, dieci…. and some other basic phrases.

I have more time to do some reading – Jeffery Deaver’s The devil’s teardrop.

Which I had put off for the longest time.

And ironically, the intensive Italiano/Inglese reads actually prompted me to have more inspiration for some Chinese compositions.

Weird. Especially when I have lost touch with Chinese for the longest time.

I definitely am facing extreme blogging withdrawal symptoms cos I am not able to log on as often as I would like to.

Blogging is pretty tough since my lappy is really cranky, and I have to sit on the bed to type, which is giving my back some aches and stings.

Not to mention the snail-like dialup connection is making me bald from all the hair-tearing anguish.

And.. I find it hard to really to express myself well these days, and I might have an anonymous blog or a private area to throw more intimate thoughts in soon.

Now it’s a pretty good time for me to use the spare time in hand to really start the intensive recording of events.

Well, at least I am looking forward to tomorrow.

I would finally leave the house for some shopping at City Square or something.

For now, I am going to indulge in a giant bowl of bird’s nest.

Brushing teeth early doesn’t help much, does it?

But, it’s bird’s nest, ya know? *sheepish smile*

MAD RUSH OF ADRENALIN

I was just kicking off the very first sentence of this blog when the power went off, and a blackout prevailed.

Well done.

At least I am counting my blessings that it didn’t happen when I already spit out a huge chunk of words.

I woke up today with great reluctance to open my eyes.

Finally, some quality rest.

Was the past 3 days nothing but a bizarre dream?

Hell yeah.

Just had a dose of natural high from MotoGP, when once again, Rossi reigned in the rain, and a very unfortunate Gibernau faced mechanical problems, and slowly saw his podium finish slipped into the hands of his teammate, Marco Melandri.

Impressive ride by 2nd-placed Olivier Jacques, indeed.

I am actually feeling lazy.

Been out since Thursday, and I didn’t even quite have the time, nor energy to update all the precise details.

And, I can’t really freely express for some of the events that took place.

Though it’s only 3 days since I updated, it seems like there are endless things that made me go through all sorts of emotions you could think of. The extremes.

Thursday, Friday, Saturday.

Man.

Incredible.

I can’t decide if I want to blog about some stuffs. Stuffs I cannot blog, stuffs I am not supposed to blog, stuffs I don’t want to blog.

Received a call on late Wednesday evening, and I was informed of a shoot on the very next day. It got me really excited, obviously.

Yet, I had to make an impromptu trip to Malaysia, which was made possible cos the very kind David(hurhurhur, I shall no longer state which David I am talking about) gave me a lift on his bike.

Absent-mindedly(what’s new?) left my handphone in David’s bag, and I was rather handicapped for the entire Thursday, with all connnections cut off from the rest of the world.

Surprisingly, I find myself coping with that rather well.

Except, I had to give the alarm clock a try since I didn’t have my handphone to wake me up.

I swear, I will never use it again.

The ticking kept me up, all night.

***

It stormed. Such a rare occasion these days.

The thunders unsettled me, as usual, as I stood by the roadside, waving for the next available cab.

The meter blinked $18.10 when I finally alighted at Downtown East, Pasir Ris. The hands stretched 7.15am.

I am officially a church mouse.

We waited for our turns to get our make-up done, and I took the opportunity to get myself acquainted with the other babes taking part in the shoot.

My great reluctance to give the details of the shoot is simply because it would be a dead giveaway if you guys ever come across it in the public in the future.

Then again, heck it.

I shall now let the pictures do the talking, or else I would never get round to finish this entry before leaving Singapore tonight.

Shoot location: Downtown East

Serene was the co-ordinator for the shoot. I didn’t have the required tops, and had requested her to bring some of hers for me.

So yup, the fox tee I had on me, is actually hers.

Gwen and Serene were the very first people I engaged in a conversation with, and were an awesome lot to hang out with.

Yes, you don’t have to tell me how *cough* lardy I look right next to them.

My self-esteem was at all-time low on that very day, with 7 other gorgeous babes, and 2 not-too-bad hunks around.

Gwen, me and pretty Doralyn.

The girls branded me ‘the tourist’ with my every insistence to get them in my cammy.

Isabelle, the one with the nice hair, with me.

More of the babes.

And uh-oh, I forgot the name of the doe-eyed girl, who had lunch with me, and took the west-bound train with me.

Tsk tsk.

And here’s the quiet Rachel, who’s a mere seventeen year-old.

Awesome babes with sweet characters to boot.

Wipe that drool off your keyboard, it’s pretty unsightly.

It wasn’t an easy shoot.

The rain was causing much delay, and the humidity was an all time high.

Tired, hungry(we were advised not to eat), sweaty, sleepy…

We lost the chirpiness when the set up took up a bit of time.

Finally, the time came, for us to conquer the *yawn* Inverter.

It was a boring ride.

And it grew intensively nauseating when you have to be up there for a few times.

I think me and 2 other girls went on that monster for most number of times.

Isabelle couldn’t take it and puked after 4 rounds.

All because?

As the name of the ride implies, it’s an inverter.

And the whole point of the shoot is to get all of us being suspended upside down, so our hair would be dangling down, as the arrow pointed out.

Wheee! I feel as if I am doing some stunts on charity show or something!

By the last ride, the giddiness was making me queasy.

Thank God! It was finally a wrap!

The girls exchanged numbers, when I could only use the most conventional method of taking down their numbers and emails.

Memory. Power of the brain. Ting has a lot.

Muahahaha.

***
Lunch was a brief affair at Pasir Ris, before I headed down to Orchard to get some stuffs.

Kinokuniya, M.A.C.

Called up Janice via the coin-phone(Man! Somebody should save the coin-phones, it was an almost impossible task for me to find them), and since she was also in Orchard, I met up with her.

The process of meeting up with her was an exasperating and tiring one cos I was without a phone, and she had not heard her phone ringing, either.

Finally, we met up at Burger King, where she was with the very dainty Liling, who was great fun to have around.

She left shortly and Janice and I headed to Delifrance in Takashimaya cos Burger King’s wireless wasn’t working.

We were so cheapskate that we didn’t even order a single item, just so we could:

Just to check out our blogs and tags.

We are such lifeless creatures.

We ended up lurking around Takashimaya’s basement foodcourt in search of food.

And doing silly things like maximising the full potential of the OSIM campaign.

Hurhurhur. They should pay me for endorsing their slogans.

*Cough*

Yeah, I changed thrice in a single day, if you noticed. Muahaha.

We left for KTV session near Maxwell market, and met up with the rest of the guys.

Patrick, Andy, Irene, David, Shivonne, Teck and Grace.

It’s a babydoll top, that’s why I look preggie. I definitely am not.

Patrick and I.

Patrick is an avid David Tao’s fan, and Teck, who reads my blog, told him about how I met David Tao at the bistro.

Somehow, David Tao’s name was mentioned endlessly throughout the evening, cos Patrick lamented how he had to miss the showcase on Friday night.

And Patrick generously flaunt his vocals with lots of David Tao’s song.

I monopolised the microphone quite a bit too, and had aplenty of good time with this group of pals whom I have not met in a long, long while.

We screamed, we yelled, and practically murdered many classics.

Are we hot or what?

Of course, no one could steal the thunder from Patrick’s sexy pout.

The cool ones.

Grew bored.

Really bored.

So bored.

That they decided to whore shamelessly for the camera.

Everyone says Ting was mean to post the previous chain of pictures of ‘Robertos’.

I am sorry to cheat your feelings with Philipo and Kelvino’s pictures.

To show how sincere I am to extend my apologies,

See, I am truly guilty and feel bad about it.

I do.

I finally got back my phone from David, who brought it with him to the gathering.

Teck and Grace then gave us a lift to Clarke Quay, where Janice and I looked up David, to get back the paper bag she had left behind in Attica the previous week.

We stayed around for an hour or so, chatted briefly with the lads, before finally heading home.

Was barely surviving the night with the mere 3 hours of intermittent sleep that day, but I certainly was jolted awake by a mysterious friendster message.

How timely.

How odd.

Hardly possible, I thought.

A prank, it must be.

Yet, I replied.

***

Rested pretty well for the night, and woke up to find the reply in my message box.

Met up with Gracie babe for dinner and to do some catching up.

Had wanted a change of plans to have dinner with another pal, but didn’t want to cancel the plans and stood her up.

So, pal said we would meet up for drinks later instead.

Brought her to try out the Maggie Goreng at Far East Square, where Janice and I used to work.

Headed for a drink at Oosters, and despite our insistence that we only wanted juices, Indra persuaded us to try the fruit beers in the menu, and we gave in.

Indra, commented I put on quite a bit of weight.

Miguel made a joke about my tummy.

I have nice friends. Ahem. I really do.

Peepz, meet Gracie the gorgeous.

And the peach and cranberry beer.

I was feeling sleepy just after a few sips, and I didn’t even finish half a glass of that beer with merely 4% alcohol before I staggered sashayed out.

How I miss catching up with the girl.

Alas, our serious talks had to be postponed cos we were too delirious relaxed after just that beer.

We took a walk down to the buzzing Clarke Quay, which was filled with lotsa people.

Walked past this water fountain, and I felt an insatiable urge to dive into it for a swim.

Or rather, walked into it, and just play around with the water.

Apparently, I wasn’t the only one.

And obviously, the 2 demure ones wouldn’t be so daring.

Hence, we would make do with this:

I washed my feet in it.

*giggles*

Was it my imagination that the water turned to a dark hue of yellow after my feet was lifted out?

Hmm.. conceivably.

We splitted ways cos I had to make my way to the causeway, and I walked towards Raffles Place MRT.

Was actually waiting pal’s call, which didn’t come in, thus, hanged around Boat Quay area, outside Jazz @ Southbridge, just absorbing all the feelings the long night had embraced me with.

Little did I know, the call did come in, but, the doofus gave the wrong number.

In fact, I really did think that was my number.

Bleah.

Doofus Queen’s title isn’t in vain, you know.

And sometimes, the world is incredibly small, isn’t it?

Pal was INSIDE Jazz @ Southbridge.

Speak about coincidences. Quaint oh quaint.

***

Made my way to Woodlands, and this time, I was stranded.

Don’t want to dwell into the issue, but I am terribly grateful to Jeremy, Mingwei, Janice and Patrick, who provided lotsa help to get me out of my situation, and that I could come back home safely.

It was a long wait before everything could go through, and Mingwei was really, really, really, really, really fabulous to clear the customs to find me.

After I left the cybercafe, I walked on the deserted streets at 5.30am, and had unwittingly ventured into a brightly litted stretch, where the sleazy motels and some sleazy businesses were taking place.

I was darn freaked out.

I hurried my pace and held back the tears as I scurried out of the zone in my heels.

I had not expected this, at all. Hence, I was dressed in skirt and heels *points to the picture of me with my feet in the water*.

If only I was in jeans and track shoes, I wouldn’t be that afraid.

Finally reached back safely, and was absolutely relieved to see a familiar face in the form of Mingwei, who brought me some water and some food.

At least the officer was rather kind, unlike the rude one the night before.

Took a cab back to my place at 6am, where Mingwei took a short nap since he had to leave for work in a couple of hours’ time(terribly sorry man, mate), while I stayed up to surf the net, hoping to last till 8am so I could wake him up or something.

Alas, the sleepyhead fell asleep right in front of the monitor.

Well done.

Nonetheless, I did contribute to him waking up on time.

Or rather, my snores did.

Muahahahaha.

***

Barely slept enough and got a call from Faith to help her to do checking-in to Mandarin Hotel.

Eventually, met up with her and headed down to Holland Village to collect her cake and jumped back onto a cab to Orchard.

It was a bright, sunny day. Nice and cheerful. Perked me up a little.

But the lack of sleep plus the immense heat prompted the heat rash to mark their territories across my body and face.

I looked tired. Very much so.

I was tired.

My brain was functioning at a much slower speed than usual, and I slurred when I was talking to Faith.

But, I quickly warmed up to the bright day, and spirits were very much lifted.

Checked in to Mandarin, and we tightened up some loose ends, and tried means and ways too look slim for the camera, which is like a tough chore for me these days.

Made our way to Takashimaya to grab a bite.

And the clumsy one had to drop food onto her dress.

I airkissed the babe goodbye as I walked her back to her hotel, before making my way down to Plaza Singapura.

Badly stained, I bought myself a new dress to change into.

Something slinky, something flowy, something loose, to hide the hideous bulges around the waist.

Well, I will not be short of maternity wear in the future, I supposed.

Met up with Janice at Novena Square, where we went to look up Mingwei and Jeremy, to personally thank them for their help.

We stood around and chatted to them for quite a while, paid my premium, and stuff, before rushing off to our next destination.

Braddell.

The lovely Aaron had his 4th birthday.

Aaron’s condition is improving greatly, and he even said ‘Hi’ to us!

He even learnt to blow out his own candles!

I was ecstatic to see Michelle and him again. There’s always this warmth, and I feel greatly touch whenever I see the boy growing, learning, and improving.

He’s a magnificent boy, whom I truly adore.

I pray for another big breakthrough for him.

Was great seeing some of the people from cell group.

Left for our next stop, Far East Square, where we dropped by to say hi to some of the guys there.

Janice haven’t been there for quite a while, and we thought of looking up Miguel.

Apparently, since our departure, the row of eateries down the stretch had been quite keen to track us down.

***

Walked down to Clarke Quay, and we had an extensive chat as we breezed past the weekend crowd.

We are always intrigued by people.

I am.

I feel this great impulse to find out, to know, to pry on everyone, and anyone.

Who are these people. Who is he? Who is she? Who are you?

It’s interesting to try to see how people of different backgrounds think, act, behave, do.

It’s pretty much an adventurous stint to explore such zones.

The more mysterious, the more you have an insatiable appetite for truth.

Sometimes, the zeal and enthusiasm may not be a good thing, cos it may come across as overwhelming, hence bringing the wrong message across to people.

How many of these people are just passers-by?

We want to know more about people, but, do people really want to take the efforts to know who we truly are?

Oh well.

***

Went into Attica where we hanged out for a while.

Janice wanted to catch the last train, and we both thought of leaving pretty soon.

But David was pretty nice and trying to get us to stay for a while.

David bought us drinks, and we requested for *cough* orange juice yet again.

We sat by the couch and catch up a little over drinks.

Was preparing to leave when the phone beeped.

Then, David(of course not the one beside me) called.

I went out of the club to pick up the call.

And guess what? Roberto was there!

I finished with the call, and proceeded in, and Roberto stretched his hand out as if to shake my head and asked how am I doing.

I stretched out my hand and he held it, and leaned forward while pulling me forward slightly too, and airkissed my cheeks. Right and left.

*HYPERVENTILATING*

Roberto, you know!

He asked why was my hand so cold, and I replied the air-condition inside was freezing me a little.

Janice and I left after the drinks to catch the last train.

It was then, Roberto airkissed me goodbye again.

This time, holding my hand, and said ‘Your hand is still so cold,’ he squeezed it a little, ‘hope that warm it up a little.‘

‘Thanks for that, bye!’ I smiled coolly, walked away looking totally composed and poised.

I was squealing endlessly within. Muahahaha.

And our walk to the train station just had to be stalled by my senseless vanity.

***

Met up with new pal, David, and his 7 friends at Holland Village for supper.

Having supper with 7 strangers was an inconceivable idea for me, since I am not that fantastic with strangers.

In fact, I am really bashful and bad when it comes to crowd.

Thankfully, all of them are incredibly pleasant people, who made me feel real at ease.

They were great fun to mix with, and everyone’s diversified background made supper an interesting observation session.

Was supposed to meet them at Crystal Jade, and by the time I reached, they were just moving on to desserts, and finally settling down at N.Y.D.C..

I was silently cheering at the thought of my favourite Ugly Cake.

The more chocolatey the better! Yippeee.

Met Edward and Shujun and some familiar Hwachong faces inside N.Y.D.C. cos they were leaving when we just arrived.

Despite already having 2 meals(*ahem* excluding snacks) before supper, I found myself clearing the plates of the ugly cake and banana chocolate cake.

Oh, a piece of pizza too.

I need to go on diet.

It’s not helping when the one beside me told me I should be working out.

*COUGH*

Grr………

*ROARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR*

‘It does look obvious that you are fatter than the previous time I saw you.‘

*cough*

‘Go to the gym or something. Oh yeah, there’s Planet Fitness near Far East Square, near where you worked yuh?‘

*cough cough*

Double ouch.

I wanted to finish the last 2 pieces of cakes when the scrutinising stares halted me. Muahaha.

I wouldn’t want to be branded monster lady again.

‘You better stop. Do you have a tummy?‘

I instinctively took in the largest breath I could muster and sucked in my lard, without saying a word.

I muttered a tiny, inaudible ‘…Uh.. Don’t know..‘ feigning ignorance.

‘See! The moment I commented on it, she immediately sucked it in!‘ he mocked to his friend, David(hurhurhur, so many huh) in Chinese.

When I glazed adoringly into… the dessert counter when we were leaving…

‘Tell me you’re not looking at the cakes. If you’re still hungry, I am gonna be really afraid.’

Muahahahaha.

Just slightly hungry only…

But I didn’t want to fish more daunting comments, so.. I kept that statement to myself.

What did I say about having nice friends?

Took a few pictures to end the night off, and timestamped the moment I bade goodbye to the 8 awesome company for the night.

‘Do I look bad in the picture?‘ I asked the usual question.

‘What do you mean by if you look bad in the picture? Of course you look bad!‘

Can someone just club me? Then club him?

But oh well, credits to him, he’s a really sweet and a people’s person.

The things they said, the hilarious impersonations, and the laid back attitude. Verdict? Very, very nice people.

Very intriguing.

A swift goodbye kiss was planted on my cheek and friendly hug was exchanged before we splitted.

A pleasure, definitely.

Just a pity that we didn’t catch up much.

Next time when you’re in town then.

***

Alright peeps, I will be heading to my Malaysia’s home in a couple of hour’s of time.

Very reluctant.

A week? 2 weeks? No idea.

Anyway, will continue to blog, if I don’t run out of creative juices(well, have to depend on creative juices since there wouldn’t be much blog-worthy happenings).

Pray that I could come into Singapore soon.

Till then, take care.